Warnings: There might be slash some day in this collection of randomness. Speaking of which, this is a collection of randomness. If you hadn't caught that.
Disclaimer: Not only do I not own Harry Potter, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight, Lord of the Rings, or even Batman.
Notes: This particular piece of amazingly written literature (cough) was inspired by a forward I get on email at least 5 times a year. You might recognize it.
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Bits and Pieces:
Remus Lupin is a Marauder
By Rekahneko
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The older man sat down on the Knight Bus next to a young boy whose head was buried in a book. Nearby were three other boys, fast asleep. They looked slightly older than the one who was reading, perhaps 12 or so. He cleared his throat, but the boy didn't look up from his text. Probably some sort of action story, the man mused. Those ten year olds really get into that sort of adolescent rubbish.
"So, child, this is quite a long ride and it would make things go by much faster if we were to chat on the way to our destination."
The young boy looked up and studied him for a moment before marking his place in the book and closing it.
"What would you like to speak about?" he asked in a careful, solemn voice.
The man chuckled, amused that someone so immature would take himself so seriously. "How about the Arithmancian theory of time dilation?" He smirked condescendingly.
The boy blinked and seemed to consider his words for a moment. "All right, but first I have a question for you."
"Sure thing, kid. What is your question."
"Well, I have noticed that a hippogriff eats grass, and then poops in a sort of puddle." The brown haired child looked at him with large, innocent brown eyes.
The man chuckled to himself, thinking about children and their penchant toward scatological curiosity.
"I have also seen Abraxans eat grass, and they seem to poop in clumps. At the same time, a unicorn will eat grass and poop this kind of pellet like thing."
Still chuckling, the man decided he was amused by the boy's use of the word 'poop.' Only a kid could get away with using such lowbrow terminology. It isn't as if he could expect someone so young to know much though. He nodded encouragingly for the boy to continue.
"Well, I was just wondering if you knew why three different animals could eat the same thing and yet end up with such different results." The boy looked at him gravely, as if searching for an answer to an age-old question.
The man laughed. "I have no idea," he stated.
The boy's face turned from its serious, innocent expression to one a bit more like the man's earlier smirk. "Well how are we going to talk about Arithmancy and the theory of time dilation if you don't know shit?"
The man blinked, confused then stunned.
"Why, I never," he spluttered, and, picking up his satchel, he stalked away, looking for another seat.
One of the previously sleeping boys burst into raucous laughter and Remus turned around, brow raised.
"Oy, Remus! Remind me never to talk down to you," said Sirius, grinning ear to ear.
"He started it, the bloody pedophile," was the muttered response as Remus Lupin opened his Advanced Arithmancy textbook again, finding the chapter entitled, Time Dilation: An overview. Sometimes he got a bit tired of being dismissed as just a child.
"Every once in a while, Moony, it's nice to see you get all tetchy. Reminds again me why you are a perfect Marauder."
Remus peered over his book at his black haired friend, hiding a small smile. "Thanks, Padfoot." He was lucky to have friends who took him seriously, even though he looked so young.