Of Nightsticks and Gunpowder
She was always hard to pin down. Moments from a Ninja's life. Part of the Momentum series.
Warning- Well, uh character death among other things
Disclaimer- Don't own anything ever.
001. Circle
Sometimes she doesn't know when the circle began, when red and black collided, when nightsticks and gunpowder mixed on her floor. When her whole life became one bloody war after another. When she started to consider her pills the best time of the day. She doesn't like this circle she's in the middle of, but she can't think of a way to stop.
002. Apartment
She owns three apartments, one is grandiose and full of gluttony, pride and a lust she can't quite forgive herself for. The second is much more modest and comfortable, it's trickery down to its core and she keeps it just for that purpose. The third is a slum, pure and simple; this is where she thinks she should be sometimes. She likes the second best because sometimes she needs to pretend like she's not insane and running from anything she ever thought meaningful.
003. Stomach
It is without any irony that she is killed by a knife. She expected steel; she even expected that dreaded 'shlick' noise as it went in and out of her body. But the way it happened. Not in war, not even a battle, no, by a common burglar with a dirty knife, which the man didn't even look after properly. She'd never be caught dead with her conformer looking like that.
She also realises that she thinks the most absurdly accurate and depressing things.
004. Sleep
She has problems, finding her spontaneity after The Great End but she begins to find some sort of comfort in waking up the same way everyday.
005. Safe
For years she hadn't understood his compulsion to keep her safe. Why was he keeping a compulsive stealing, runaway bride-princess safe, I mean god of course she couldn't keep herself safe its not like she has any giant freakin weaponry or Materia now is it? She thinks this just as a monster cuts a long line from her ear to her navel.
006. Scar
She doesn't care about the scaring, really she doesn't, but she hides it anyway. Apparently the two toughest men in the world can't stand the sight of a scarred girl.
007. Ribbon
She never liked ribbons, now she has reason to hate them.
008. Dirty
She likes getting dirty. She likes showers more. She likes the feel of running water, over her stomach, between her legs, it gives her a heady sort of a rush. She announces this to all of them one day and watches the looks and sneers. She holds her tongue in her teeth and feels a little itch of madness on the inside of her eyes.
009. Trickery
He tricked her the first time. Tricked her with bright red, shocking blue and deft hands. She gets her own back the next morning sticking radishes in his ears and painting his lips with garlic. She's out by nine, and when he rolls over to tell her he's sorry, he throws up.
010. Eyes
They have different eyes and when they stare back at her she sees the colour of the world she should be in, instead she's floating in her purple recesses. She fingers the Materia she couldn't leave behind and when the colour bleeds over her hands she swallows the pills hidden under her tongue.
011. Bile
She's okay with Bile and, yeah, faeces kinda gross. She even kinda likes the spulech sound made by her conformer but this smell, oh god the sound...and this pain. She watches as Tifa's child is born and when it's over she throws up.
She heaves more still when they tell her who the godparents are.
012. Logical
'How is this logical?!' She's screaming, 'How could you think this would work?!' the baby's cute and she touches a curl, 'I can't take care of myself, let alone some stupid smelly kid!' She's ignored and the child is plopped in her lap, cute. 'Besides, you can't raise a child in a bar! Take it to Wutai!' She can almost feel Tifa's smile.
013. Acceptance
'I will not change nappies!' Hours later he needs another change.
014. Ninja
Yes, she's a ninja, but before that she was a girl with flowers and baskets and hopes and dreams, and the two are in fact not mutually exclusive.
015. Day
She likes the middle of the day, despite what many think it's much easier to steal something in the middle of the day. Especially if it's a cape.
016. Liar
She laughs at him one night, swaying in the dark. 'You're a liar' she says and watches his face fall.
017.
Tears
She doesn't cry, not when she's sad, not when she's hurt, not even when her father said he never wanted to see her again. But when a girl she barely knows dies she bawls for hours and hours.
018.
Hair
The first thing she notices about anyone is their hair. You can tell so much from hair, how much a person cares for themself, how they fight. Strangely she finds men with pale hair the most attractive.
019.
Build
The first thing she does when she joins the WRO is demand they build a completely seperate building for her. Reeve looks at her like she's grown multiple arms and she promptly says that it's okay and she'll just move into his office. He laughed and told her to be there early the next morning.
Reeve was surprised to come in the next day to find Yuffie in his chair and kittens in his filing cabinets.
020.
Hate
She hates, hates, hates, it when he does that. She's not really even sure what that is but she hates it. It might be the smirk, it might be the lightness in his eyes but she hates, hates, hates it because she can't hate, hate, hate, it.
021.
Diplomat
She's a much better diplomat than Tifa ever was and leagues better than Cloud ever will be. She just much prefers the struggle. Strangely the only one to ever acknowledge this is Cid. They pretend it never happened.
022.
Pressure
'Stop laughing!' It doesn't matter, he laughs harder. 'It's not funny! You were in real danger! Pressure gauges are dangerous!' she knows he was fine but she likes the feeling of saving him.
023.
Time
Tick tock, tick tock, time is going slow. Really, really slow and she's sitting, sitting, waiting waiting. For him to come back. Hours later he walks in the door and she's first up. Then incomes time capsule and she wants to smash all the clocks.
'Who's she and why does she have all your time?'
024.
Shovel
'I gotta shovel, shovel, shovel and its got dirt, dirt, dirt.' So she's naked and dirty singing a song about shovels, is it hurting anyone? No, no it's not. Stupid slut-in-a-nurse-dress trying to give her needles. Who cares if it's not appropriate she wants to, besides this stupid place cost too much.
025.
Dance
She's an amazing dancer and she displays the fact by dancing wildly in clubs till one or both of them show up to take her home. She thinks it all went downhill from there.
026.
Young
Her childhood was filled with flowers and faraway love, she's still young but they can both see the age that threatens to spill out on her.
027.
Sick
She doesn't accept it till she's lying on the floor with the blood sliding past her lips (like all the lies she's ever told) and scaring her cheeks. Pooling over the ground she tastes rust and dirt on her tongue and with a final push (through the blood, through the memories) she presses the emergency button on her phone.
028.
Crazy
'Ya know, I think I'm crazy.' He tries not to let his belief show in his eyes.
029.
Nails
The first time she gets angry she throws rusty nails at him.
030.
Knives
The second time she changes her locks and arranges a knife trap.
031.
Guns
She shot him the third time.
032.
Door
Eventually he stops coming in the front door.
033.
Passive
Eyebrow raise, 'This is called a passive coping method.' She blinks at him from the floor, 'Ish not!' he smirks a little before dragging her out.
034.
Want
'I want those shoes!' she yells. 'You can't afford them.' He repeats. The next day she has a new pair of white lace up boots.
035.
Apologies
She didn't apologise it seemed pointless. So hours later when she's still holding her mug of hot chocolate she jumps up and runs out the door screaming, 'Gottagosaysorryorhe'lllockhimselfinthatdeadChicksCaveforeverandevarandohgawdgottasaysorry-'
036.
Lift
She's never been strong but this is more painful than anything and they keep saying lift, but she can't lift and then-and then-
It's dead.
Her baby is dead.
037.
Change
She changed one day, seemed to sprout up as a woman. He thinks it was the bright red dress, he thinks it was the heels n hair. Both agree it had to be the walk and the smile; poison covered and absolutely delicious.
Either way something started that day that would consume them all.
038.
Shine
She misses them sometimes, here in her head and she thinks about them as stars. All so close and all so very, very gone. She supposes they've forgotten about her and she can't blame them. Perhaps she should be surprised, when they show up with all her favourite things ever, cept Materia she can't have that yet. She sits down with them and it kinda feels normal. When she looks around suspiciously at the bushes and Cat Sith asks her what she's doing she says 'Waiting for the hot, silver haired maniac to jump out of the bushes.'
It takes them a few moments to stop laughing and realise that she wasn't joking.
039.
Methods
'They said all teenagers scare the living shit outta me! They couldn't care less as long as someone will bleed! So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose! Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me!' she's out of tune but she flashes a smile and he says 'Well you scare me.' he looks her in the eyes and her heart thumps, 'But I guess I like being scared.'
040.
Run
She's good at sneaking out. Comes with being a ninja. But as she sneaks out of the hotel, sweaty and more terrified and guilty then she's ever been, she takes a moment to look back and imagine what would happen if she'd stayed. Would she have had children? Would their last names been Valentine?
Does she even want to leave?
041.
Roses
Lilies remind her of Aerith. Roses make her think of her mother and for that she can't help but envy them.
042.
Pride
'Why do you keep running away?' she throws something, her body heavy and her stomach weighing her down. 'Will your pride stop this child from having a father?' he turns once looking at her, bright red and remorseful.
043.
Break
She'd even picked out a name. But when she'd been there pushing and still squeezing his hand so tight. Not him the other one. The one who hadn't run away. She hates him, she hates everything and she can't let go. Then when he dies –a little baby boy all her own. Something breaks in her.
And she hates it.
044.
Forgive
Eventually she forgives Shelke and they become friends and it is understood that at no point are the names Reno and Vincent to be mentioned. So they talk about TV shows, weather, Materia, Shelke's work, till she gets old and on her death bed the only one she lets see her is Shelke.
045.
Forget
She falls out with Tifa a week before she disappears for the last time. Tifa never forgives herself for it and Shelke never forgets.
046.
Gunpowder
She loves him so much sometimes that it feels like she's dying. There are cysts in her heart from where he cut her, and she wants and needs to know they're there. She knows that in her own way he loves her, but he'll never love her as fully as he did Dead Chick, she's okay with that. She'll never love him more than she does Wutai or Materia. She understands now better than she did as a fully sane non medicated person and she's better for it. She knows that she could have been safe with him.
He was there when he had to be, but not when he needed to be
047.
Nightsticks
It was all lust at first. Just feeling but then he added thought and she lost herself. He was gone alot and she knew that it wasn't an exclusive relationship. It couldn't be, but when she started losing it he came back and stayed with her. She was so grateful for that. But soon enough he was gone again and she was alone. He came back with help, with heart and she forgave him, grudgingly of course. They were too similar to be anything else. In the end it was the similarity that ruined them.
He couldn't be what she needed
048.
Life
Life is hard, long and completely worth it.
049.
Death
Death is the beginning.
050.
Finale
In the afterlife –the lifestream she expected to be alone. Not because she was evil but because she didn't believe. Not in the planets benevolence or its sanity. She was a little too crazy for that. So when Aerith was there smiling and holding a basket of flowers she started laughing. For herself and for all the other crazies how would never get this far.
051.
Yuffie
She started with nothing and ended with nothing and had everything in between.
AN- Reviews are mighty welcome but not really necessary.