She stared at the bottle. Once again, she felt the pain rip through her.
"One more dose, just one more dose…" She felt the sweet relief as the cool liquid went into her eyes and coursed through her veins. Nothing could feel so majestic; she could conquer the world with this feeling. Not even Dylan could stop her now. He wanted to take it from her, but she would never let him. Never. She put on her contacts and walked onto the command deck.
"Hey, Dylan, how's it going?" She was losing it, she was getting jittery. If she didn't stop, he would know. It had been three months since he had caught her on the flash, three months since he had promised that he would always be there for her. That he would never let her take it again, because he couldn't stand to lose her. She saw how much his word was worth.
"Fine, Beka. We need to visit the Talamasca drift; they want to join the Commonwealth." She could see the glee in his eyes at the prospect of a new Commonwealth member. She didn't care; the slipstream and the flash were all that mattered to her. Let Dylan be happy with what he wanted, she didn't matter to him and he didn't matter to her. At least, that's what she forced herself to believe.
She took the Andromeda to slipstream.
As the Andromeda coursed through space, the movements ran through her body like a liquid. How could one ship, with one slipstream pilot, move so fluently? It was as if they were dancing, her body melting into one with the cool metal under her hands. Without the flash, she was good. With it, she was phenomenal.
"Good work, Beka. If I didn't already know you were the best, I would say you're getting better." She smiled at him and walked off of command.
Tyr stared in disgust at the exchange. How could Dylan be so stupid as to not realize she was still on flash?
She sat on the Maru. Getting the materials for the flash really was easy. No one suspected, so no one stopped her. They thought she was back to her old self, the strong woman she wanted them all to see. The person they knew, the person they thought still existed.
Every time she had to use more. The original dose just wasn't enough. And every time she told herself, "One more. Just one more and I'll stop." But after that one more, there was just one more after that. And one more after that. The cycle never ended, and it never would. But she had the flash, so it was okay. It would all be okay.
She hadn't talked to Harper in forever. She did kinda miss the little guy, so she was on her way to see him in the machine shop.
"Hey, Harper, whacha up to?"
"Beka, hey!" he said with his surprised little-boy voice. "Just fixing this little thing. It'll improve Andromeda's internal security by three hundred percent. Rommie wants the Med Deck guarded, stuff is going missing."
But Beka never heard the last statement; she was on the ground with the knife Harper used to cut wires lodged into her side.
"How is she?"
"It doesn't look good, Dylan." the purple pixie sounded more depressed than he had ever heard her. "She's got a fever from an infection from the wound, and she's overdosed on flash. She'll be going through withdrawal as soon as this dose wears off, which it should do within the last five minutes."
"Why did she pass out in the first place?"
"She had so much flash in her system that she couldn't function. She almost died."
He cursed and punched the table. "Damnit! I promised to always be there for her! I promised that I would never let her do it again! And I did. What kind of a friend am I? Now she's going to think I don't care about her, when I care more than I want to admit. I love her, DAMN!"
Rev walked out from the corner. "Dylan, I believe a part of her knows that." It was obvious to everyone that Dylan had not meant to say that, but it was too late now. "How can she know that when I almost let her die?"
"It wasn't your fault, Dylan. But we must be here for her. If she lives, she's going to need us."
"What do you mean, IF she lives?" Those were the last words anyone heard Dylan say for a week.
ONE WEEK LATER
"Dylan, Trance wants to see you on med deck."
He just got up and walked out. When he got there, he almost cried at the sight that greeted him. Beka sitting up.
"Beka, you're better!"
"Not by a long shot. She's still suffering from some of the effects from the flash. The wound in her side is healed, and the fever is down. But she is an addict."
"Trance, please give Beka and I some time alone."
She walked out, her tail swaying behind her.
"Beka." It was almost a whisper. She had her head down, she wouldn't meet his eyes.
He softly touched her face. "Beka, look at me." He guided her chin to meet his gaze. "Beka, I'm sorry. I let you down. I promised to be there for you, and you were hurting. I never even noticed. I don't even deserve to call myself your friend, but I hope you'll let me. I – "
"Dylan, no. I hid. There was no way you could've seen through it. I hope you still want to call yourself my friend."
"I want more than that," he said, as he lowered his lips to meet hers. "I will never let you be hurt again. Beka, I love you."
He heard her muffled reply coming from the beautiful head buried in his chest. "I love you too, Dylan."