Thunder: Hello there, this is my first FFVII fanfic, it's small, short, probably depressing and sad but it's a start. It's also a little insight from a story that I'm considering to write…I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII.
Those Eyes
Every morning, every day, I wake up to your final breath, to see those eyes… your eyes. They are always opened so wide. In shock or in fear, sometimes, although it might be my imagination, I see worry in these blue orbs. They are glowing still, but no more shimmering. They look so deep, so close, so real. And yet I know… I know it is all an illusion, a memory, a haunting image. For in these eyes I can see anything but life. It has long abandoned your body, now an empty vessel lying underground.
I made a friend in the last few years, he reminds me of you. Strong, determined, protective of his friends and family, but still feigns indifference. When we are alone though, he's as kind, as gentle and as caring as I remember you to be. Deep inside, he understands me, he listens to me, and he's trying to fill in the void that is you. He's just as tall as you were that time, his hair is of a similar shade of color as yours, if under a certain angle of light; I could mistake him for you.
He's been so close, so sincere. Now I'm afraid, afraid of looking at his face, afraid of disappointment, afraid of loss. His face is not yours, his voice is not yours, his hands are not your hands, and his touch is not your touch, though it's nothing that imagination cannot fix. But the eyes, his eyes are definitely not yours; they're of a different color, a distinct sweet honey brown. His eyes are not yours, but I could swear that they shimmer just the same. He's earned a place in my life, he's earned my trust. But whenever someone came so close, I'd lose them, something would happen and I'd be left alone again. I don't want him to leave; I don't want anyone to leave anymore.
Your eyes, now that I remember, were shining faintly, probably with tears, and yet they were dry, life had deserted them back then, as rolling drops of blood smudged that sweet face. Sometimes I can hear your voice, feel your presence, so near. I could almost hear the far away melody of your violin, oh how you loved to play it for me before I went to sleep. How many songs you used to play for me on my birthdays, how much fun we used to have. I've even taught myself how to play the flute, a tune that matches yours. I've always wanted to play next to you, instead of just sitting there and listening.
Today marks ten years since then, the Banora White I've planted there in your memory has grown so tall, a beautiful white arch bearing those apples you've loved so much. Climbing it was hard at first, but now it's as easy as any other tree. Today I'll climb and read LOVELESS to you.
At the end of the day, I still believe that you're not dead yet, not yet. Still alive, even if they cannot see, I can. Even if they cannot hear, I can still hear your voice before I fall asleep, "Sleep tight…sweet dreams…wake up." I hear that sweet melodious tone of your voice, even softer when you're talking to me. Even when you were scolding me, it was never harsh, always gentle, but firm.
One day you'll wake up and they will see, how wrong they were, how right I was. You'll come back and look down at me with that gentle smile. Tell me stories of what you've seen. I am the only one that seems to believe, that you only went on a long, faraway journey to seek the truth, to see the glorious mysteries of life in this world that is filled with wonders. I am the only one to believe that you will come back for me one day, come back to tell me of your adventures, of the vast blue sky that you've walked under.
'Wake up', that's the only thing I ask of you. Wake up from your slumber and come back. I know you're there, I know you're fast asleep. Wake up, and open those beautiful eyes. Open those beautiful blue orbs and see what I've become, see how much I've missed you, see how I hadn't forgotten, see how much I've grown. Though I know you're always there, always watching over me, your protective embrace never leaving me alone, you still feel far away, unreachable, a mere shadow of a presence.
It would have to suffice, I suppose. This silver, apple-shaped locket that you've bought for me, a farewell present, a gift to say goodbye, to say I'll miss you, and that I'll never forget you, that I'll always be there when you need me. Always there, then you pointed at my head and chest. Yes, you'll always be in my heart, in my memories, but I still long for something that is more than a memory. I long for you, but I know it's still too soon, not yet, not yet.
Thank you for the little music box that plays me music until I sleep, thank you for the pictures that capture you and me, thank you for the time you've spent with me, thank you for the treasure that you've blessed me with. The treasure of love, friendship and eventual family, something that I've lost long ago, that you've returned. And now I feel as if you've stolen it from me, but I know it's still there, if I look harder, closer, I can still see the glowing star in the lonely darkness of the night sky. It's the star that forms the heart of the one-winged keeper of the night. The keeper that watches over my dreams, that shines brighter whenever I walk to your resting place at night. Thank you for being there for me, for bringing that smile on my face, for simply being there, for simply being you. I will simply wait for the day, when I can see those eyes again.
Thunder: I hope you liked it!
Please Review!