Dedication: Dedicated to Marzieh, who probably needs a pick-me-up after school. .:huggles:.
The Music in Me
It's echoing inside my head
A single voice (single voice)
Above the noise
We were in the common room when I heard it last. It was only an hour or so ago, but it seems like forever… And yet I can still hear it echoing in my head, calming me. Melodic, almost: it gives you the same sense of joy as walking into an ice cream parlour and hearing the soft jingle of the bells above you.
Lily was laughing at something Marlene or Alice had said—I couldn't tell which, but I could only hear Lily's laughter tinkling above the rest.
I must have been too caught up in tuning in to Lily's voice, because Padfoot punched me. He looked slightly put out for a second, before launching back into a crazy scheme he was planning, leaving me to dwell on my thoughts about Lily again.
It was seventh year, and, with my being Head Boy to her Head Girl, we had formed a sort of truce, if not a friendship. I had thought being her friend would be easier than being her enemy of sorts, but I was wrong. Before, when she hated me, there was not an attainable chance of us being together, despite my constant propositions and beliefs. Now, however… Now it's more difficult, for sure. Having her so close, and yet so far away, is unbelievably tantalizing. Like dangling a broom in front of me and not being allowed to fly…
When I hear my favourite songI know that we belong
Oh, you are the music in me
But I know that, as I hear her laughter, I would wait for her. I would wait as long as I had to, because I know we would be great together. We belong together. I just know it.
And as I lay in bed at night, the soft sound of her laughter lulling me after a long day, I think about all we've been through—as friends, as enemies, as classmates—and I know we can make it.
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To hear your voice (hear your voice)
Above the noise (oh, oh)
And know I'm not alone
Oh, you're singing to me (oh, yeah)
Not many people know this, but being Head Girl can get really lonely at times. The Head Girl (and Head Boy) have many more duties than Prefects, and, on top of extra duties, must manage their time well for studying—after all, seventh year is NEWT year, and much more difficult and strenuous than fifth or sixth years.
Late on a Saturday night, when my friends are probably having a celebration of sorts, all I want to do is kick up my feet and relax in front of the fire after an exhausting day—that is, if I have time to relax before I go to bed.
Sometimes, when I dream, I dream of my friends and how much fun they might be having without me. At time like this, I can't help being a little jealous, even though I still love being Head Girl. In this position, I've been able to see things—and people—in ways I never would have imagined.
James, for example, is nothing like he portrays himself every day. He acts arrogant (though he has clamed down and stopped cursing Severus) but he's actually funny, sweet and charming. On nights when we both finish our studies and duties early enough to relax before bed, we sit in front of the fire and chat. He's so easy to talk to, really. His jokes just put me at ease, and we can laugh and be ourselves when we're together like that.
It sounds silly, but, when I hear James laugh, even just from across the common room, or in the Great Hall, I feel safe, comforted, complete. When we're apart, hearing his voice makes me feel like I'm right there. Together, sharing a joke in the common room. It's an amazing feeling.
I'm saying words I never saidAnd it was easy (so easy)
Because you see the real (I see)
Talking with James, things come out that I might not tell some of my friends. It's just so difficult to not trust him. He sees everything that is bothering me, unlike most people, who see what they think is bothering me, or what should be bothering me, based solely on my Head Girl, straight 'O' reputation.
He's a friend with whom I could easily date, study, or just relax and chat. An important concept James grasps, unlike all my previous boyfriends, is that silences do not have to be awkward, and are not signs of incompatibility. Just the opposite, rather: silences are true signs of compatibility, if one is not awkwardly trying to fill them, but relish them.
Sometimes, I even imagine how great we would be together, how easily we would meld into one. I imagine how comfortable we would be, how relaxed. I even imagine how great the kissing would be—I've heard he's fantastic.
We would really be the envied couple at school.
If only he would ask.
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A/N:Yay! Another fanficiton written. :) I know, I know, I really haven't been posting many lately. But I've been busy, what with DH, OotP, Eclipse, and everything else, but I've got good news! I'm going to be doing some clerical duties this week, but my boss is really simple, so I'll have lots of time to write fanfiction! I've got loads of ideas, I just need to write them and type them up—and one is already typed and ready to go! .:confetti:.
Oh, and an explanation for the differences in Lily's and James' views: James takes Lily's interest as friendship, the poor guy, and not of actual interest. Lily, however, is clearly interested, but is too shy at this point to do anything about it herself. She wants her knight in shining armor to come and sweep her off her feet—or, at least, for James to be the one to ask her out. Just in case there was any confusion.
And this A/N is getting far too long…
Review?