Her parents thought she was worthless, but she would prove them wrong. She would finally make others acknowledge her worth and greatness by being the hero who saved Ba Sing Se.
She wanted to stop the looting and destruction consuming the city, bring order out of the chaos, punish the wrongdoers, see the citizens free from fear and danger, clean up the mess, restore law and bestow power to enforce it on those who they could rely on her judgment, give the people a sense of security.
She succeeded, and the world leaders were grateful. They thought her a hero. But she still wasn't satisfied.
It wasn't enough to save one city. There was crime and chaos throughout the Earth Kingdom, and she had to stop it all. She went from province to province, offering security and assistance to anyone who needed it. They were more than willing to join her cause and offer their support in her efforts to help others like them. Day by day, her popularity and the desire for her help spread. She was determined that the raiders and bandits and enemies of the state would be stopped.
She succeeded, and the provincial leaders were all grateful. They thought her a hero. But she still wasn't satisfied.
It wasn't enough to save her own people; she had to punish their enemies. The enemy was anyone who didn't belong in their land. She purged the land of the impure, the intruders, the invaders, sending them to work for their pure Earth Kingdom superiors, only killing those who resisted because they didn't understand that nobody had any rights but what she saw fit to give them. Everything they had, they had taken from its rightful owners, and she would take it back for herself to be used for their benefit.
She succeeded, and her followers cheered for her. They accepted anything she did as heroic. But she still wasn't satisfied.
It wasn't enough to be loved for what you did; love and admiration were given freely – true power lay in subduing those who hated you. There were some who were too proud to acknowledge her greatness. She had to convince them they were wrong. She refused her help until they agreed to grant her the power she deserved. Whether it took a few days or a few weeks as people she had the means to save starved to death or were killed by thugs, she never backed down – everything had a price. She would make sure every single man, woman, and child in the kingdom recognized her greatness, whether they wanted to or not.
She succeeded, and all the provincial leaders bowed down before her. They feared her might and power. But she still wasn't satisfied.
It wasn't enough to be worshiped by those who needed her help, willingly or unwillingly accepted. She had to make the one city that didn't need any help acknowledge her superiority. She would make them accept that she didn't need to give anything in return to take what she wanted, that her perfection of virtue and strength entitled her to everything.
She succeeded, and those who gained nothing in return but the lives that were hers to offer or take bowed before her. They feared her might and power. But she still wasn't satisfied.
It wasn't enough to have the kingdom the Fire Nation permitted her people to have one hundred years ago. She had to take all their land back – only then would the Empire be complete and her mission accomplished. She had to prove them wrong, those who thought they owed her no loyalty or respect, who recognized no authority of hers, who didn't need her help, who had been all but untouched by the chaos that ensued three years ago, who believed they were free to live without the permission of the most powerful person in the world.
Her parents thought she was worthless, but she would prove them wrong. She would make the whole world acknowledge her worth and greatness.
She succeeded, and their leader surrendered to her.
In the months that followed, mostly spent flat on her back looking up at the ceiling of her wooden cell, she tried to remember, during that brief period before her success turned to failure, if, for those few hours, she'd finally been satisfied.
Then she would remember an older boy she'd known in the orphanage, who, after lessons were over every day, did odd jobs on the side and spent every yuan he earned on little white pills he got from a man who sat in the alley a few blocks away. When she wondered how he'd died, an older girl secretly explained that it was because, when "addicts" grew "tolerant" of their "drug" of choice, they needed more and more, eventually reaching the point where they destroyed themselves because it was never enough – no matter how much they took, they were never satisfied.