Right Where it Belongs
AN: I don't own Glee or anything related to the television show.
RIGHT WHERE IT BELONGS
Chapter One: Looking Through the Cracks
Feel the hollowness inside your heart...
Rachel Berry felt empty. She felt desolate and barren. Following the revelation that Finn had had sexual intercourse with Santana, Rachel didn't know how to resemble the pieces of her fractured life. How does a surgeon repair a heart that has been demolished with a single blow, a single shot?
After school had ended that day, she sulked home to her empty house (her fathers were currently on another very important business meeting). Placing her car keys and backpack in her room, Rachel continued to change into a more comfortable-sweatpants and a t-shirt-outfit which would allow her to mope with a higher level of comfort. After changing and rummaging through the kitchen pantry for something edible, Rachel finally allowed herself to break down, to let it all out.
In this moment, Rachel became more waterfall than actual human being. In the middle of this intense crying session Rachel realized too things: (1) if she continued to cry like this she would most certainly require some water to replenish her electrolytes and (2) yet again she was crying over the dissolution of her relationship with Finn.
Why was she always crying over him? Why was she always allowing herself to be emotionally controlled by a guy? Rachel didn't have answers to these questions swirling inside her head. Based on her career plan she had erected freshmen year, a guy didn't fit into the equation of her acquiring her Broadway stardom dreams. Thus, with a tear-track stain face, Rachel vowed never to allow this to happen again. She was never going to allow a boy to penetrate the stiff, outer layers of her heart. She was going to become determined and driven again by her dreams and not immature high school boys.
In order for this reinstated declaration to become true Rachel needed a new attitude. She couldn't be the shiny schoolgirl whom people took advantage of and pushed around. She would stop squealing and smiling while at school. Rachel vowed never to let her guard down while in McKinley High School ever again.
Wiping the tears from her face, Rachel decided that this new attitude needed to coincide with an entirely new wardrobe. She couldn't be impersonal and calculated in a argyle dog sweater and knee-high stockings. Amassing a storage of newfound strength, Rachel got off her bed and opened her closet looking at her collection of monochromatic schoolgirl necessities. Although it took numerous laborious trips, Rachel placed every single piece of clothing from her closet into a garbage can on the back porch. Retrieveing the lighter fluid and matches her fathers kept in the garage, Rachel doused the articles of clothing-the last remnants of the old, fragile Rachel-with the flammable liquid and set the can's contents on fire.
The heat of this fire warming up Rachel, she felt, in a way, reborn. The cutthroat, impersonal Rachel was slowly becoming a reality.
NEXT CHAPTER: Rachel takes her new attitude and style to school.
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