Disclaimer: I don't own Fake, Sanami Matoh-sama does. Welcome to the wonderful world of FanFiction! It's addicting, get used to it (I quite the addicting substance known as coffee at age 15, but do not suggest or even think that I should quite FanFiction. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN (even if I own nothing).).

Warning: The fore mentionable females in the Fake Manga are as follows in the order of most appearances/importance along with marital status: Carol (seeing Bikky), Agent Diana Spacey (with Commissioner Berkley Rose), Lass (In love with Lai), Ms. Alicia Grant (Mofia Princess; Husband: Liotta "Leo" Grant- deceased), Aunt Elena (Husband: Rick), Mother Maria Lane (Nun must I say more?), Janet (Front desk girl: single), Gorilla Nurse Emiry (need I say more?), and Carol's Aunt Elina (never seen).
Now the same for the Guys: Randy "Ryo" MacLean (Dee), Dee Laytner (Ryo), Bikky (Carol), Chief Smith (Married), Commissioner Berkley Rose (Agent Diana Spacey), Lai (Lass), Jemmy J "JJ" Adams (Single: recently gave up on Dee), Drake Parker (Recently dumped by a girl (again) and kissed by JJ), Ted (Single and into girls), Marty (Married, right?).

Now it really goes without saying for a book about a guy who isn't sure and the Bi man that pursues him restlessly. Besides the main pairing is Drake and JJ so this fic DOES contain SHOUNEN-AI (meaning two guys Kissin' and Cuddlin'!) and possibly YAOI (meaning an explicit sex scene(s) between two guys). So any close minded person that wants to read fanfiction over a yaoi based manga without at least some shounen-ai leave my sight! You sicken me::grumbles: why must I warn you people it is blatantly obvious!

Author's Note: so Chappie one here is just basically a set up. I'll drive you insane with a personal life story/Anti-drug commercial. So yeah both my parents did drugs when they were younger (more than the mundane cigies either, but nothing like coke), and now a days they drink a fair amount and smoke (cigies) My mom had quit for 12 years too, while my dad still smoked. But with the hailing of her new boyfriend (who smokes) she started again. So anyways I consider myself to not really have a family. For ex. My dad (who has no legible excuse) missed my high school graduation, doesn't call on my birthdays etc.. My mom doesn't listen ever, for ex. Every time plans were made/changed for my 18th birthday I told my mom so she could plan I even withdrew my request for Chinese ('cause she didn't feel like it) and she still forgot the plans and buying me birthday presents, (I later got my presents which were of course all things needed for college). She forgot I asked for one personal thing (YnM series) and all the info for YnM was on the kitchen table in plain sight. I had to keep telling myself that at least she remembered the cake this year. I realize there are a thousand of people worse off than me, but all I ever wanted was a family that acknowledged my existence a bit more and vowed to never do that to my own kids. Lack of a Family Life my Anti-drug. So yeah I have nothing against smokers, but umm… I can't write a smoker unless it's and oober twisted person same deal with stalkers. So I thought why not make it so Drake is forced to quit and then since Ryo thinks it is such a great idea Dee quits too. I could care less about Rose and Chief (They'll be cutting back/ quitting too because of Drake's smoking related accident, just not major character enough to be mentioned). I personally believe that there are not enough Drake/JJ fics out there so I'm trying to ratify that problem. I hope you enjoy this chappies a bit angst-y and one sided fluff (no rape stuff no worries just Drake's in the hospital ya know?). So sorry for takin' so much of your time, on with the ficcy! Happy Reading!

Na

Three Packs a Day: Queer Revelations (that Defy All You Know)

Chapter One: The Warmth

Drake Parker was once again waiting for the seconds to tick away and end yet another mundane Monday. He glanced over at the empty two desk that were on the other side of the room, one was neat and orderly, while the other looked used with a few stray papers a half filled ashtray (all though smoking was prohibited in the building), Drake couldn't complain he knew half those butts were his. Drake glanced at his own partner's desk that was also well organized, except the half empty mug of cold coffee that boldly read LAPD.

His thoughts turned to his absent partner, and the events of a few days ago, when his girlfriend Jill broke up with him (again). Yes he did admit that he claimed that he would give up on girls and focus on work. It was funny; JJ actually said he would too. Well he never had women to give up on to begin with but at least now there would be no more inner-office violence between Dee and JJ. Drake still couldn't quite see where his life was headed sure he'd stop chasing skirts and focus on work but that didn't mean he was gay or bi. And it certainly didn't explain the kiss that JJ gave him, before dragging the confused Drake off to a restaurant, where in his muzzled mind state JJ took the tab and drake paid the tip, which definitely seemed to be like a date to him. But more confusing was the actual kiss! Drake had seen JJ tackle Dee millions of times and go in for kisses with such force that his own kiss was a shocker. There was a pause a slight almost unnoticeable pause, which had JJ's hand on the back of his neck, their faces drawn close. It wasn't for JJ it was for Drake, almost like asking. And then there was the kiss the lips of the shorter man soft, calm and chaste. It was like butterfly caresses, the blond laughed here he was comparing a kiss to a butterfly; well comparing anything to a butterfly was issuing insanity. There was a sudden flash of JJ's smiling face the bright blue eyes shadowed by silvery blue hair, like those petite blue dragonflies.

Blond locks swayed over gray eyes as Drake shook his head to clear it. It seemed that with this awful stomachache that he contracted, with it came insanity. At that moment the persistent organ seemed to groan shooting more pain that expanded farther than his stomach, to boost the already dully throbbing abdominal area with more pain. He had tried everything to get rid of the pain Bismuth subsalicylate, Aspirin, Naproxen sodium, Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, and he even after Janet's laughing fit tried Midol (Acetaminophen, Caffeine (caffeine free has Pamabrom), and Pyrilamine Maleate). Long story, short he was still in pain, and had already decided that if it persisted tomorrow he'd call a doctor.

JJ opened the door and walked into the nearly empty office, "Drake-senpai! We actually have a case."

Drake groaned, "We have thirty minutes till quitting time and we have to work?"!

"No we'll look at the files tomorrow. Right now the Rose wants us to dig out a file from downstairs," JJ replied he glanced up at Drake and noticed the pained expression on his faced and the hand over his stomach, "I can do that myself, you go home and get some rest I need my partner for this murder case."

"All right, thanks man," replied Drake with a light pained chuckle.

JJ glanced around for a second, deciding that he could take a break from being everyone's little earn boy, since the paper work was finished and oddly for a good portion of the day there was no new cases. JJ sat down at his desk and smiled up at Drake appraisingly, "So how are you today Drake-senpai? Well besides the bad stomach."

Drake suddenly realiving that his partner was going to sit and chat with him in their almost empty office for a good portion of their remaining 27 minutes, became a bit nervous still not knowing how JJ interpreted the kiss and dinner date. His eyes flitted rapidly as his head was turned in JJ's direction, "Nothing."

"Are you all right?" question JJ. The gray eyes rested on his face for a split second, seeing the genuine concern etched into those dragonfly eyes.

Drake paused, deciding exactly what he was going to say, "Why did you kiss me?"

JJ stifled a giggle, running his fingers through his neat violet-silver locks, "Like a closure thing, I said I'd stop chasing Dee and you said the same about women. I guess it was more a, me thing you know? I haven't even kissed another man since I got here except when I caught Dee off guard. You understand?"

"Yeah, I get it. So than why did you buy me dinner?" asked Drake, his nervous gaze halting and settling on JJ's eyes.

"Just trying to cheer you up… with free food," JJ replied meekly, before he grinned like the Cheshire Cat, "You know Drake, if you're curious… I'm always here to help you, you know kiss you again, whatever."

Drake laughed for a moment before his face twisted a bit in pain, "I'll keep that in mind JJ." Drake stood and took a few pain-filled steps towards JJ, reaching up and ruffling his hair. Drake inwardly cursing the pain that covered his abdominal region.

Glancing at the clock JJ noticed that they still had about fifteen minutes, since they were getting off at ten that night, "Drake go home, there is nothing for you to do. Just go, I'll cover for you and this measly quarter of an hour."

Drake nodded and turned back towards his desk retrieving his suit jacket before turning back towards the door and ultimately JJ. And there JJ was mere centimeters from Drake on his tiptoes.

Drake gasped not expecting the sharp-shooter to be right there. And than there was the hand on the back of his head dragging it down. Once more there was the pause, where for a split second soft blue eyes questioned shocked gray ones, answer given or not JJ pressed his lips to Drake's. Drake was confused; the kiss still wasn't forceful, nor was it as chaste as the last it was coaxing and dare Drake think it was even comforting. Drake was beginning to forget that the innocent and skillful kiss was coming from JJ. His eyelids began to slowly slide shut his mind telling him it was a busty blond. JJ was still coaxing for the slightest positive reaction and a few chaste seconds after Drake's mouth moved against his he pulled away. Letting his partner go he looked into the confused eyes that stared at him.

"Mull over that kiss, instead of your stomach pain," said JJ as he left the office and headed for the stairs to retrieve this file, knowing he wouldn't be leaving the precinct by ten.

Drake stared after his partner, before exiting the office and then building on his way home. Barely registering the pain that shook with reckless abandon at each step as his brain pondered how the kiss could have been so good, that it started to trick his mind, and JJ didn't even use his tongue!

JJ trudged up the stairs, glancing at his watch he noticed that it was nearing eleven; he silently cursed Rose as he stepped off onto the fourth floor. He could see into his office and saw Dee and Ryo poring over papers (well at least Ryo was). It looked like those two were pulling overtime, and JJ sighed he was about ready to go home. Drudging a hand through his hair he sighed again as a substantial amount of dust stirred in the air. It was one thing to get a hammy down building but for the basement storage to have never been cleaned!

The tired detective was about to walk into his office and grab his jacket before handing off Rose's file, when Janet walked briskly up to him, "JJ!"

JJ turned, "Yes Janet?"

"I'm so glad you're still here. I got a call from the hospital, Drake's been hospitalized for an appendicitis," replied Janet a bit of a worry line creasing her brow.

The blue haired man stared at her, mouth agape, he shoved the folder into her hands, "Could you give that to Rose please, I'm already late as it is, and thank you for telling me."

The next twenty minutes were a blur to Jemmy J Adams, he had retrieved his jacket and headed to the hospital he knew Drake was at. He really didn't realize that drifted by as he waited for Drake to get out of surgery, and really didn't realize he had moved until he gazed down at Drake in the white hospital bed in the wee hours of the morn.

His jacket fell from his limp hands somewhere near the door as his tear-blurry eyes, let his feet trip over themselves and somewhere in the trek to Drake's bedside he lost both his shoes.

JJ fell on top of Drake subconsciously weary of Drake's surgery scar (or to be scar). Gripping the front of his shirt JJ cried, "Why? You're a detective! Couldn't you have gotten shot? Then I could blame someone, than it would make sense!" JJ continued to vent his emotions until he was lulled into sleep, sometime after the sun rose. Death like grip on the blue and white checkered hospital gown, left ear over the blond's heart, knees pulled to Drake's side, and feet hanging over the bed.

Wednesday rolled around and Dee and Ryo looked at their officemates desks that were slowly gathering dust. They knew that Drake was at the hospital and were actually going there during their lunch break. Now JJ he seemed to disappear, well at least to the two detectives, they were not JJ's partner and therefore were not in need of knowing if he was out sick.

"JJ still not here?" asked the chief from the doorway startling the two detectives

"No sir, did he not call in absent?" replied Ryo after a confused second. The Chief grumbled something along the lines of irresponsible idiots, when Dee came up with a quick answer that could get them a long lunch.

"Chief, why don't we take our lunch now, then stop by at the hospital to see Drake and swing by JJ's apartment and see if he is home or if the neighbors know where he is."

The chief grumbled, but had to admit that this would make these two idiots useful for once, "I guess that will work, but hurry up." With that Chief Smith left the door way with a very ecstatic Dee.

It was surprising how docile the pre-lunch traffic seemed to be, and the normal time it would take to get top the hospital had a few minutes shaved off. Navigating through the hospital was fast the front desk said the Drake was on the third floor. The elevator rode was peaceful and Dee and Ryo were alone. Dee methodically massaged Ryo's shoulders. For Dee knew that Ryo was the type to be overly concerned about anyone in a hospital or in general. Why else would he adopt Bikky or pay Carol's father's bail.

The two pulled apart a bit as the elevator rang the third floor and they slowly walked to the third floor desk, "Excuse me we're looking for Drake Parker's room we're from the precinct he works at," said Ryo catching the attention of the petite brunette behind the desk.

"Oh, oh" the girl exclaimed as she hurried out from behind the desk, "I'm so happy you're here! A man that said he was Mr. Parker's partner and he hasn't left! He's been unconscious since early Tuesday with a death grip on the patient and won't wake up."

Dee looked strangely at the nurse, and then at Ryo, "JJ?" Ryo just shrugged and glanced at the nurse.

The nurse turned back to the desk and her colleague, "Ruth, page Dr. Berry, for 306." The red head behind the desk smiled and picked up the telephone, her soft voice filling the air as she paged Dr. Berry.

The brunette began down the hall and the two detectives followed. All three stepped into the darkened hospital room, before the petite girl turned on the lights. The lights flickered a second before filling the small room with light.

Ryo and Dee immediately turned towards Drake's bed to see JJ half sprawled out half on top of the sleeping Drake. His face was turned towards the visitors, dark circles under his eyes and the dried, slightly crusted salty trails that ran down both of his cheeks. His fists were clenched tightly to show white knuckles. Drake's taut hospital gown even showed faint red lines from short fingernails dragging roughly almost desperately across the cloth and skin.

"Do you think that perhaps you could wake him, no one has been able to we are a few hours short from admitting him as well, if we can remove him from Mr. Parker," asked the nurse.

Dee groaned but walked over towards the sleeping detectives, picking up the shoes that sat innocently on top of a neatly folded jacket, on the bedside chair. With his free hand he gripped JJ's shoulder shacking it gently, "JJ."

The lilac haired detective groaned and loosened his hold on his partner. Eyelids flickered for a second until groggy, bright blue eyes opened slowly to perturbed green.

"Dee?" questioned JJ as he tried to remember exactly where he was. He saw Dee in front of him; and over by the door was Ryo, who stood next to a fished mouthed brunette. He noticed the white walls and than looked down at the bed he was sitting in the crisp white sheets, the light blue coverlet, and a sleeping gorgeous well toned blond. JJ's eyes were wide as the situation dawned on him.

The black haired detective pulled the silvery-lilac detective none too gently from his half reclining position and out the door into the hall of the hospital.

"JJ what are you doing?" asked Dee there was a bite to his tone.

"I… uhh… was… umm… I was seeing if Drake was all right?" replied JJ rubbing sleep out of his down cast eyes.

"Jesus JJ, the nurse said you've been here since early Tuesday and sleeping on top of Drake's hospital bed, no one could wake you or move you! If you didn't wake up they would have admitted you! Not to mention no one at the precinct knew where you were!" yelled Dee.

JJ's head drooped more, "I'm sorry Dee-senpai." Dee was shocked by the dejected tone of the normally flamboyant detective.

They were both pulled from their musings by the approach of a gray haired man with laughing eyes and a reddish mustache, as well as the room door opening and Ryo coming into the hallway.

"Oh so I see that Mr. Parker's attachment is awake," said the man in the doctor's overcoat.

"Well Drake is also awake," said Ryo.

JJ gasped and than gripped at Dee's shirt much to his disapproval, but the smaller man's face was not the usual "Dee-senpai!" face but a panic ridden one, "Please… please don't tell Drake I was here the whole time!"

Dee was about to answer or at least ask why Drake shouldn't know but Ryo answered for him, "All right JJ, now let's go in and see Drake."

The four men walked in to see the nurse writing stuff down, and Drake was sitting up seemingly off in his own world. His smile did brighten when he saw his three officemates.

"Well Mr. Parker, I'm Dr. Berry, I preformed your appendectomy," said the gray-haired man.

"Umm… Thanks doctor. Could you tell me what happened?" replied Drake.

"Well yes, apparently your neighbor Ms. Ellis came to your apartment to ask you to do laundry and found you unconscious on the floor of your living room. We are assuming that the abdominal pain was too much and you hit your head on the corner of a coffee table or such. And that would be the cause for why you have slept so long. You were admitted around 22:30 on Monday and have been asleep since," answered Dr. Berry.

Dee looked confused, "Aren't appendicitis's a kids' thing?"

"Well no, appendicitis can occur in anyone of any age. It most commonly is seen between the ages of eleven and thirty. There is not even much that you can do to prevent it, although a more recent study done in Sweden has actually proven that smokers and children or others subjected to second hand smoke are at higher risk of having an appendicitis preformed. I'm actually as your doctor highly suggesting just short of prescribing you the patch, Mr. Parker," replied the doctor, while scribbling something down on his clipboard.

Drake sighed, it wasn't like he could afford the cigarettes the way he lived paycheck to paycheck, "All right doc."

"Actually Dr. Berry could you please get Dee the patch as well?" asked Ryo.

Dee turned on Ryo wide-eyed, "What? Ryo no!"

Ryo glared at Dee, "Yes you will! You heard the doctor! You haven't just put yourself at risk but Bikky, Carol and I as well! And not just appendicitis's either, many other things! Besides you should be supportive of Drake by not smoking in the office."

The tone clearly stated that if he didn't comply he'd be sleeping on the sofa for quite sometime. Dee's jaw was clenched as he glared, "Fine! Doc could you?"

"Yes certainly, I'll be right back with that for you?" said the graying man as he bustled out of the room to fill the prescriptions.

The four detectives looked at each other for a while not really noticing when the brunette nurse left the room. It was Dee that broke the silence, "So you do your neighbor's laundry?"

"Well she's really old and has a bad hip. She'd get surgery but doesn't have the money, obviously since she lives in my apartment complex. So basically the elevator only goes as far as the lobby and not the laundry room down in the basement, so I offer to do her laundry and pick up groceries in the winter. She has an apartment key, I told just to come in and put the laundry in the living room and the grocery list on the refrigerator. Sometimes with our job I cannot guarantee when I'll be home," Drake chuckled.

Ryo smiled as he began to push Dee towards the door and picking up JJ's forgotten jacket on the way by, "Well we'll let you get ready to go, we'll be just outside the door."

It seemed as just as the door closed Dr. Berry approached the trio holding what looked like a pill bottle and a couple boxes, besides a new folder. He looked at the three before handing Dee a box of Nicorette patches. He placed two folders, a box, and a pill container on a hallway chair. They could see that the chart was for a Laytner, Dee; he quickly noted something before switching folders (this one labeled Adams, Jemmy J). Dr. Berry checked the pill bottle before handing it to JJ, "Well you see since we were worried about Mr. Parker's necklace, we took a blood sample and the lab results just came back. It told us that Mr. Adams here hasn't eaten for quite some time before we took the blood, and he is anemic. The low amount of iron in your blood can cause light-headedness and in your case when you fell asleep from worry and stress, the anemia just made you sleep longer. So I am prescribing you these iron-supplement pills I want you to also eat foods that are high in iron like steak; unless of course you're a vegetarian. So take one pill a day, preferably in the morning."

JJ could just nodded, fingering the pill bottle placing it in his pants pocket. The men turned at the sound of a lock click as Drake's hospital room door swung slowly open and Drake stood in the way. Dr. Berry was quick to hand him the remaining box of Nicorette patches.

Drake took the box and began to absently hit it in the palm of his opposite hand, "Thanks Dr. Berry."

"Now if you have any abdominal pains take a regular dosage of extra strength acetaminophen," at the dejected look of disbelief Dr. Berry chuckled, "it will work this time."

"All right, now all I need is a ride home, after I quickly stop and pick up a few groceries and my dry cleaning," replied Drake half joking, "as long as the doc says I'm free to go." Dr. Berry just mumbled his ascent and walked away down the hall.

"I'll take you home," quickly offered JJ.

When Drake bustled into his apartment groceries in one hand and dry cleaning in the other he sighed placing bags on his counter, immediately reaching into the paper bag removing the acetaminophen, and taking two pills dry. JJ came in behind him with his own bag of groceries.

"Well thanks JJ, I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow," said Drake expecting that JJ would just want to leave.

JJ looked almost like a kicked puppy pulling a bottle that read Febreeze from his own paper bag, "I thought I would help clean out your apartment to rid it of the cigarette smell and any left over packs or ashtrays."

Drake looked at JJ a moment and had to admit that if someone else helped him with the removal of "temptation" he might just be able to kick the habit. Nodding his ascent he watched as the hyperactive dragonfly detective put that energy to cleaning opening windows and Febreeze-ing everything. When Drake tried to help JJ just sprayed the sofa and pushed Drake onto it, handing him the remote to the television.

It wasn't long till Drake was asleep on the sofa and JJ was pretty happy he was now able to search every nook and cranny to remove every last cigarette. JJ even washed the bed sheets (remaking the bed of course) and started to cook a simple meal of spaghetti.

Drake was 'roused from his slumber to notice four things, one: there was something missing but he couldn't put his finger on it, two: his apartment smelled fresh and clean as if he (almost) never smoked in it, which brought him to three: he needed a cigarette, and four: he smelled dinner.

JJ walked around the corner into the living room, his smile brightened as he saw Drake was awake, "Hey Drake I'm glad you're awake. I made you dinner."

Drake looked at JJ with a sleepy confusion before following the dragonfly back into the kitchen. On his small rickety card table sized table were two plates of steaming spaghetti. He smiled lazily sitting down in the closer of his two chairs. He then absently reached over to the counter groping for his pack of cigarettes.

Frowning Drake turned towards JJ, "Hey JJ have you seen my cigs?"

JJ looked at him before handing him a box. Drake looked at the box and read about its contents, he remembered that he had agreed to quite the inevitable cancer sticks. Quickly scanning the directions Drake pulled out one of the bigger patches and placed it on his upper arm. After that the two began dinner.

It was a comfortable dinner the two partners talked about their families. JJ learned that Drake's older sister had three kids and basically his whole family lived in upstate New York. While Drake learned the LA boy was an only child and while his family accepted his lifestyle his mother complained largely about the lack of grandchildren and his dad thought it was a phase and was bent on proving that JJ would never be truly happy with another man.

After dinner Drake took a couple more acetaminophen and bid JJ good night for they both had the early shift the next morning. As soon as the door was closed Drake quickly looked over his JJ cleaned house noticing fresh sheets, clean clothes, and not a bow of cigarettes or even ash in sight. He wondered how he slept through the vacuum being used.

Giving up on actually staying awake, Drake stumbled through his nightly routine to get ready for bed. With all the sleeping he had done he was surprised that his eyelids were drooping as he climbed into bed. Snuggling under the covers like normal Drake closed his eyes, only to find that he was wide awake. Rolling over Drake punched his pillow a couple of times, trying to get comfortable, but it wasn't happening he felt cold almost, but knew if he turned up the heat there would be a flash heat wave early in the morning and he would regret it. Because it was just his luck. Rolling over again Drake pulled the clean covers up tightly but to no avail.

Drake sighed something was missing… where was the warmth?

Author's Note: This is sort of a Forward to the fic. Removing the "three packs a day" (cigi-wise) from the story. The next chap is about 3 months later right around Thanksgiving (because they are New York cops and Americans' celebrate this lovely (in my eyes pointless) holiday).

Spoilers: Queer (from the title) is partially referring to the queer (homosexual-ish implications) LA thanksgiving and once they return the queer (fucking screwy strange) case they receive.

Oh and don't you dare believe after one chapter I'm going to get Drake and JJ together just yet. Drake's got to solve his insomnia problem (and if you don't get it, one: I'm not telling you and two: I suffer from the same (and it was a total accident too!) so it can happen!)

Oh this is rated R because I don't sugar coat the gore there are no "bodies riddled with bullets" I'd say for example, "If there was any gunshot residue on the victims shirt it was long washed away by the blood that slowly began to coagulate (a/n: I love this word), and what ever blood left in the cooling body ceased its flow. The numerous shells littered the ground soaking in the blood that seeped and stretched far from the body that it once came. On a near by trash can there was blood spatter hinting that a shell or two had dropped long after the blood had pooled." See? Pretty right? I just lost a lot of readers' right? Don't worry that will not be the case in this ficcy. Would you believe me I hyperventilate at the sight of insides of bodies, even in movies?

Well yes please review and tell me what you think whether good or bad I don't care.

Na