Ello! This is my first fanfiction, but not my first time writing, so please, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Or anything at all, really. Hey, I'm easy.

3 Ari

The first thing Alexandra heard when she regained consciousness was a low, faint hum. She could feel the metal grating cold and sharp-edged beneath her cheek, but didn't stir for a moment as the captain's words echoed through her thoughts.

When you find yourself in a new location, take the time to asses your surroundings. That time is valuable, but well-spent. It just might be the scrap of data you need if you're going to stop her.

Alexandra could picture the middle-aged woman with closed-cropped hair and tattered blue jumpsuit sitting on the edge of the old Doc's desk during their training sessions. She could very well see how she could, or really would, hate the captain in two year's time. Or maybe it was one year now; time was a difficult concept to keep track of when you were rarely in one segment for more than a few days. She realized she was daydreaming, and mentally shook herself. Daydreaming was deadly, and she needed her attention focused right now. She took a deep breath, and the smell of metal and anti-freeze met her, mixed with a vague hint of... Fish?

Her eyes cracked open, and she was confronted by a bright yellow glow, the same light she imagined would be in a beehive, if they had windows of course. Finally stumbling to her feet, she looked around. The room was massive, with walkways arching over the open floor, and what looked like a control panel in the center. She ran her fingers along the odd assortment of buttons and levers, and the surface purred softly, as if it sensed a shared kind of life force. Alexandra shook her head and straightened her black jumpsuit uncomfortably. She doubted she could ever get used to wearing clothes that were so manly, after growing up full floor length skirts swishing about her ankles, but she was given no choice.

Her reverie was broken by the sound of a key scraping in a lock, and she turned quickly to see a pair of bright blue wooden doors she hadn't noticed before. Taking a deep breath to dilute the sudden shot of adrenaline now in her blood, she leaned back against the consul, crossed her legs, and did her best to look like she owned the place.

If in doubt, look confident and hope they won't shoot you.

"Now, I know the last two or three... Dozen ideal honeymoon spots didn't exactly work out, but I can assure you that the next one can and will be the picture of wonderful honey-moon... ness." The Doctor talked as he tiptoed his way down the narrow patch of land between two pools of gray sludge lapping languidly against the muddy shore. "Really, though, it's not my fault that the only three days this planet is inhabitable on are the days that the spork-billed gropplehofster breed. I think it's a lovely ceremony, if you get past all the... goo." He pulled a silver key out of his pocket, along with a thin trail of slime and stopped by the blue wooden double-doors.

"Doctor, we're not asking for an ideal honey-moon, though it would be nice. We're asking for one that doesn't involve being covered in goo, chased by the queen of the sloth-people, dyed, dropped from the sky, or cooked." Amy crossed her arms and tapped one leather boot, only to receive a squelching noise from the mixture of grey sludge and red mud.

"Or cloned. Don't forget cloned," Rory added, and Amy nodded in agreement.

"Is that too much to ask, Doctor? Really?"

The Doctor nodded and sighed, turning to the couple. "No, no it's not. You're right. I promise that for the next..." He checked his watch on the inside of his wrist. "One hundred and sixty eight hours, your lives will be completely, totally, and immutably peaceful and normal. At least, as normal as it can get around me... Which is relative, really." He grinned brilliantly, then turned back to his beloved machine and unlocked the door, still mumbling to himself.

The door swung open, and the Doctor strode in. "Home sweet... Oh."

"So much for normal," Amy added, crossing her arms and leaning on the doorway with a smirk.