Chapter 1

A surgical residency is all about training for the worst. But, as prepared as we might be, we usually don't see disaster coming. We can try to envision the worst-case scenario, to foresee catastrophe. But, when true disaster strikes, it often comes out of nowhere. And when the worst really does happen, we find ourselves completely blindsided.

Why do bad things happen to good people? We ask that question so often, it's become a cliché, but that's because bad things do happen to good people constantly. You just have to hope that when it's your turn, you'll know what to do, how to cope, how to persevere. But the truth is, you don't know how you'll react to your worst-case scenario. None of us do. Not until it happens. Meredith Grey; One Flight down

"There's this girl, she can't find her boyfriend." Meredith told Arizona, both of them were barely holding it together.

Arizona knew she was talking about her and Derek's situation now and then in the woods where they crashed. Where she lost her leg. Callie had to amputate 'cause the infection went into her bone. But she didn't knew it had been Alex who made the cut. Meredith was freaking out because D.C. called and told her that Derek never made it to his meeting.

They were alone in a supply closet, hiding from anyone.

"We're going to be okay." Both surgeons repeated that sentence, but didn't actually believe it. "We're fine. We are." They breathed heavily, trying to regain their senses. This plane crash brings back all the emotions they tried to suppress and forget. It was totally understandable that she was freaking out or was on the verge to.

But there's no way that they can escape …

"I don't want to go out there." Meredith confessed suddenly.

"But we have to, there are injured that are in need of our help … I was there when they started to examine Kate, one of the patients, and I kept having flashbacks, Derek breaking down in front of me, you shouting in pain, Lexie trapped under a piece of wreckage, Cristina freaking out, me doing pericardiocentesis on Mark … I just freaked out and ran away to find you. I just … I just couldn't take it." Meredith told her, staring at the wall.

Arizona looked at her for moment, then she sighed before saying: "We're okay, that's not us in that plane crash. We're okay." Arizona Robbins repeated. Although it was clear that they weren't okay.

"Yeah." Meredith nodded. Then someone opened the door, light was in the supply closet. Arizona and Meredith looked up, both flinched at the same time. It was Alex who opened the door and was now looking at them expectantly. "Are you okay?" He asked, referring to the plane crash. "Do you think you can work?" He glanced at the both of them. Both nodded in synchrony.

"Okay, but if you want to be replaced, come and find me or someone other who knows what's going on and tell them you can't work today." Meredith replied: "We're fine, aren't we, Arizona?" The blonde peds doctor nodded in agreement. "Yeah, sure." Alex scoffed a bit.

"What?" Meredith asked, although she knew why he was doing that. "You sure you can work today? With Derek missing and all?" Alex asked.

"I am fine." Meredith said. She was lying. She knew it and Alex knew it but no one admits it. "I am not supposed to hear from him anyway, since we're not that kind of couple who clings to eachother." Meredith shrugged him off. But Alex was right. "Uhuh." He reacted.

Derek watched her sleep and as she stirred a bit, he said: "You're awake." Meredith was still half-asleep but that changed after Derek talked to her with his McDreamy smile on his face, covering it. It was a nice way of waking up. "I am now." Meredith turned around, still half-sleeping. "Don't pretend staring at me isn't creepy because it is." "Is it sexy creepy or …" He wanted to know, smiling at her widely. Meredith turned in the cushions to face her dreamy husband.

Derek asked but Meredith cut him off: "How long have you been awake 'cause it's still dark outside."

"A little while, not too long." He said, then he added: "Your snoring woke me up." Meredith frowned. She didn't, since Derek she became aware of when she snores. She didn't snore. But it seems like Derek had something other in mind about that.

"I don't snore anymore." Meredith insisted.

"You know, there in D.C. I could hear the metro station near my apartment and the trains will me wake up every morning. This is a much better way to wake up." He whispered to her.

Then he kissed her on the forehead. Meredith only replied with: "Yeah." Then he continued his kind of-monologue about trains and Meredith's snoring. "Your snoring is like a train." He chuckled a bit but Meredith didn't really found that funny. "But it's so much cuter." He meant it as a compliment. "I don't snore." Meredith replied smiling happily to be together with Derek.

"Your snoring is like music and a loud gurgling bird on a train." That's when Meredith started hitting him with a pillow. With a soft pillow. Both were chuckling and laughing while doing that …

Then there was a horn blaring and Meredith stood there, in the ER entrance, frozen.

She knew this was going to be a bad day. Then Bailey came running out, someone called out: "Is this the pilot?" and that's when Meredith started to move. "Yes, Sam Garret, 36 years old pilot, possible abdominal injuries and injuries to the chest …"

One of the paramedics while unloading the gurney, said.

Immediately, the doctors rushed to help him and get him into trauma room and stabilized before taking him down to surgery. Meredith was like in trance, she just did everything that needed to be done mechanically.

Callie walked along the hallway.

"Hey." She said. "I heard you two got the pilot." Bailey looked up, seeing the orthopedic surgeon talking to her. Callie started a conversation with Bailey, Meredith just ignored the both of them. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. "Yeah, going in on him now." Bailey answered her coworker's question.

Then Callie looked to Meredith, she was worried about her. She does, however, express concern for Meredith.

Derek missed meeting in Washington. There's been no word from him.

"You okay?" Callie asked worriedly as she was sitting down on the opposite bench and was leaning over to her. Meredith looked at her for a slight second and she turned her view back to her feet as she prepared herself for surgery. Bailey was there too.

"'Cause you know there was a plane crash and I just thought that you maybe … A year after the plane crash Arizona still had nightmares and if I'd come home ten minutes late, she'd freak out. So I'm just wondering if you're doing okay." It was a tentative question but Meredith didn't answer at first. She didn't want to say it but she was worried about Derek.

Then she looked up at Callie and Bailey and said, beginning to explain: "Derek missed his meeting. In D.C. and I haven't heard from him." "Okay." Callie reacted and Bailey glanced at her former intern, guessing that she was freaking out nonetheless.

Of course this plane crash triggered memories from their plane crash.

And Derek missing did the rest.

Then Meredith stopped, she seemed to hesitate for a millisecond, then: "That's not weird. It's not like I should have heard from him. It's not like we call each other every second you know, we're not those people. I am a surgeon and I am busy and he's in D.C., he is busy as well so it's fine but I haven't heard from him." Bailey looked over at Meredith, scanning her.

She looked straight ahead, against the wall, desperately avoiding to look at Miranda Bailey or Callie Torres.

"It's not a thing." She sighed.

Bailey was going through the patient's medical file as she watched Callie and Meredith's interaction. Callie leaned forward, feeling that Meredith needed assurance that Derek was okay, that she was just freaking out. "It's the plane crash, Meredith. It's what makes you worry." For a moment, Meredith seemed buy it.

"I know, I know." She said, holding a surgical mask in her hands, she breathed in deeply and then she disappeared toward the scrub room. Dr. Bailey and Callie looked after her, both concerning about how this plane crash and Derek missing will affect her. Then Callie turns to Bailey.

"Call me when she … just call me." She asked Bailey who just nodded in reply. Of course she will.

Then Callie walked away to get to her surgery.

Meredith was in the OR with Dr. Bailey, operating on a plane crash victim or more specifically the pilot. They were doing an exploratory laparotomy. "Feel for the mesenteric artery …" Bailey said, Meredith only subconsciously noticed that Bailey was maybe speaking with her but she stared straight ahead, trying not to think of Derek.

About his whereabouts … where he could be … what could be.

Only the beeping of the machines and the suction could be heard.

Bailey finally noticed that the younger doctor was distracted. She knew why. Grey had told her about Derek missing his meeting in D.C. and with the plane crash and all going on she had a right to be distracted, but just not in the OR, her nerves were on the edge.

She felt it. "Grey." Bailey called out. Meredith didn't react. She just flinched when she heard the other attending talking with her. "Grey, did you find the mesenteric artery?" Bailey kept asking something she didn't understood.

Her mind was blank.

Empty.

Then she reacted and apologized to Dr. Bailey.

"Oh, I am sorry … I …" She didn't finish her sentence. Bailey looked up from the surgical area.

"Dr. Grey, do you need replaced?" There it was, the one question she didn't want to hear. "No, I am fine." "No, you're not fine." Bailey gave back. "You're distracted." Sighing she said: "Look, you and Derek went down in a plane. You drowned, he got shot, you gave birth in a power outage." Meredith rolled her eyes, trying to focus on her patient but all she could think about was Derek.

"Is this supposed to make me feel better? 'Cause honestly, it's not."

Bailey shrugged and went on: "I am just saying, you have every reason to be distracted, every reason to think that the sky is falling. Do you need to go?" Bailey wanted an honest answer but Meredith insisted on being fine and not in need of leaving the operating room.

"No." "Okay how long can you go without hearing from him before you absolutely freak out?" Bailey asked, just wanting to help Meredith get through this. "… before you are absolutely going crazy?" Bailey wanted to know from her.

"I don't know." Meredith slightly raises her voice, panic was in it.

Worry too, about Derek. She already was on the very verge of going crazy. "I … I'm … I think … at six … six thirty maybe." She finally answered, her voice shaking. "Okay then let's say five. At five p.m. if you haven't heard from him you can freak out. You can panic, you can call the police, you can call the paramedics, you can freak out until then you stay focused. But not one minute before and not in this surgery. Can you do that?" Bailey asked Meredith in a serious voice, indicating she meant it.

"Five p.m." Meredith repeated, holding onto that.

"Five p.m." Bailey confirmed. "Yes."

"Okay."

For a moment, Bailey intently stared at Meredith and then they both go back to operating, saving their patient.

Then, out of sudden, their patient had cardiac complications and they had page Maggie 'cause the graft wasn't holding and he was starting to bleed out. Cardiopulmonary bypass wasn't an option so they had to think of something and that quickly if they wanted to save the patient's life. And finally, they got it right and the patients vitals stabilized.

The surgery was a success.

"You still haven't heard from him?" Bailey asked as she entered the scrub room, seeing Meredith looking frantically at her cell phone. So, she presumed that there weren't any news or calls concerning Derek Shepherd ...

... who better will be McAlive or Meredith's going to be McDevastated.

Meredith looked up, facing Dr. Bailey.

"No. No news." She replied. "Five o'clock. Then you can worry, Grey." Bailey addressed her former intern. Meredith didn't reply. "What's at five o'clock?" Maggie asked her sister, genuinely worried about her. "Five o'clock is my deadline. If there's no news I am gonna go home and freak out." Meredith explained.

"You're freaking out, though, now, right?" Maggie asked her sister who played nervously with her phone. "Yeah." Meredith answered, another answer was out of question. Of course she was freaking out, how couldn't she? Maggie nodded barely visible, then she continued: "Going over everything you think of, back to the last conversation you had and playing it over and over in your head from beginning to end, right?" Meredith just answered with a simple reply.

"Yeah." Maggie nodded knowingly, although she had no idea how Meredith feels. Not really, anyway.

"Yeah. That's what I would do too. You should go home, Mer."

Maggie glanced at her sister for a moment and touched her arm for comfort before she left the scrub room. Meredith got distracted once again as flashbacks hit her … And there was nobody with her, she was alone. Damn plane crash, damn memories. Why did Lex have to die, why? She could have met Maggie if she had lived … Could have. What could have been but won't ever be. Life was just not fair.

Meredith and Derek were both lying in their bed as Derek told Meredith about a funny thing about cars and Zola. "Zola wants a car, did she tell you that?" Derek asked his wife. Meredith only chuckled in reply. "A car? She wants a car?" Meredith sounded like she couldn't believe it. "I asked her, I wanted to bring something from D.C. and she asked me to bring a car …" Derek started to explain.

"I would like to have a car she said." Derek grinned when he thought back. Both of them started chuckling. "Let's wait at least ten years." Meredith then said.

"Oh, it's gonna be here before you know it." Meredith looked at Derek as he said that. "And I told you … I said you're like coming out for fresh air. Like I was drowning and you saved me … It's you, it's always been you … I still feel that way, when I see you and our family that's the feeling and I want more – of this …" Meredith started to smile, she watched Derek.

"… of us … of, uh …" He tried to find the fitting words.

"I want one more." He finally said, meaning he wants another child from Meredith. Meredith looked at him with big eyes, didn't know what to say or how to react. "Let's have one more." Derek said with emphasis.

"What …" "I mean it." Derek said, grinning at Meredith. "You're crazy." Meredith replied finally. But she didn't say no. "That's not a no." Derek answered, a smile covering his face, he was relieved Meredith would consider this – maybe. But she didn't shut it down after the first time she heard about it.

So that's a good sign.

Meredith was sitting on the sofa, waiting for news on Derek. She listened to Maggie's advice and went home. She asked her to take the kids for this day and she said that she'll do it, of course. It was just too much, the plane crash, the worry about Derek, about whether he was dead or still alive … She really hoped he will call or somehow show up.

She watched the phone, expecting it to ring.

But it didn't. It's beginning to become questionable whether he will call or miraculously show up. And then the clock shows that it's five o'clock. Meredith breathed in deeply. Then she waited for another few seconds for the phone to ring but nothing like that happened. Then she stood up and walked over to the table only to reach for the portable phone.

As she held it in her hands, Meredith looked out of the window and seeing yellow, red and blue lights flickering before her window and something that sounded like sirens.

The police?!

Maybe they were coming to tell her that she has to identify his body. Maybe ...

A car parked, she assumed it was the police telling her that something had happened. There she was standing, unable to move or even breathe. She heard car doors being pushed back.

She never even flinched, she was numb. Preparing for what was going to come. That Derek was dead or seriously injured in a plane wreck or car accident. She knows the worst is yet to come. She had no idea how to prepare for that. What is she going to tell her kids? Speaking of kids, Derek wanted to … No. No, this is a nightmare and there's no freaking escape.

She remembers Bailey's words: "You have every right to assume to sky is falling down."

This was it. She knew in this moment that something had happened. To him. To Derek. Before they got to get their happy ending. This can't be it, it just can't be. We're not finished, Meredith thought, thinking the same words Cristina said before she left for Zurich.

She was already fearing the worst. Cops banging on the door couldn't mean anything good.

Derek was driving over some rural road. He had no idea why he had taken this road to the airport and not another one. But that was the decision he made and now he would have to live with it.

Derek was simply driving his car as another car overtook his car but after another few meters the driver lost control and it flipped. Once. Twice. And a third time. A car flipped over in front of him. Distracted, he swerved and tried to pull over, but he didn't see how dangerously near he came off road and near the rocks on the side of the road. His eyes were on the other car, the one that was flipping.

But he better paid attention. Derek couldn't believe it, he was shocked when he sees what was happening.

Shocked, he tried to brake but wasn't able to fully stop the car before hitting some rocks near the road.

He gasped when he hit the steering wheel with the chest when the impact hit him. But as he watched the other car coming to a hold a few meters away from him he forgot about his 'little' accident and ran over to the other car that was now lying there motionless on the asphalt. He could hear faint cries from the passengers.

Derek's eyes were wide with fear as he watched what was happening.

It happened so fast …

There was a boy with a head wound, with blood covering his head.

His eyes were closed as Derek approached him.

Luckily for the boy, he was a neurosurgeon. As Derek came nearer, he saw that the boy was unconscious. He bent down, gently nudging the boys' shoulder to get him to respond. "Hey. I am doctor. Can you hear me?" He asked him in slow clear words as the boy slowly opened his eyes, seeing a figure hovering over him.

"What …" The boy looked at him, surely confused. "What happened?" Derek sighed.

"You were in a car accident, your car flipped three times before coming to a hold." The boys' eyes widened in fear and shock, as Derek registered. "What, car … accident? Oh my … Where's my family? Where are they, are they dead? Oh my god, please don't tell me they're gone." He was hysteric, looking over to the car wreck that was lying there face down.

"Please don't tell me that the impact killed them. My sisters, my parents … Where are they?"

Derek decided to stop this: "Look at me." He interjected, forcing the boy to look at him.

"Can you tell me your name and your age?" The boy breathed in deeply and then answered Derek's questions: "I am Nicky and I'm sixteen. What … what are we going to do?" "First off, I am going to check out that nasty cut you have on your forehead and I'll also do a quick neuro exam, if that's okay?"

The boy nodded in understanding, hesitating to ask: "Are … are you a doctor? Can you help them, I think they're still in the car." Derek glanced over to the car, the tires were still rolling. It was just them and a deserted road that went to nowhere. Damn desolated landscape, he curses the fact they there was no one around who could help. Derek just hoped that his phone's still going to be working. He needs to call for help. They need emergency services here and that quickly.

After doing a quick exam of the head wound and a neuro exam, he told the boy that he was going to run back to his car to get a first aid kit to provide help with the limited supplies they have out here. When he came back, he opened it and searched through it until he found gauze and handed it over to the boy.

"Hold this against the wound." Derek advised and continued: "I need to go check on the other people who have been in the car with you."

"Please don't let them die."

"I'll do everything I can." Derek answered, he was being positive and optimistic but never promised anything - just in case things didn't work out for them.

"Just stay calm, I'll be right back."

With that he left the boy, running over to the car. Seeing that there were people trapped in there. "Damn it." Derek got out, he breathed heavily, trying to think of what he can do. Suddenly, a girl with blonde hair banged against the car window, seemingly crying in fear, shock or pain. He wasn't sure. "Please get me out." She mouthed, trying desperately to get his attention. Derek looked around, he needed something strong, to shatter the window in order to get the girl out. Then he saw a piece of metal lying around on the road.

"That could work." He murmured as he grabbed it and went over to the car. The girl watched him with big eyes.

Then Derek told her with a loud and clear voice: "I am going to break the window which means there will be glass shattered. Now I need you to turn away from the window and close your eyes, also cover them with your hands. Got it?" He waited for the girl's reply.

"Yeah …" She said, leaning away from the window and protecting her eyes.

"Good. On my count." Derek took a deep breath, feeling slightly light-headed but blamed it on the emotional side of all of this and disregarded it as not important. "One, two, three and …" That's the point where he broke the window. Then he started freeing the girl. "I got you, everything's going to be just fine." He said reassuringly as he laid her down on the ground, a few meters away from the car. At first, he secured her vital functions, then he did a quick neuro exam and checked for further injuries.

"Please don't let me die." She whispered, using her last strength to say these words.

"I don't let people die." Derek assured a young woman as he attends to help her although he wasn't sure what he can do if they needed surgery which isn't really possible in the situation they were in, he had no OR nor had he the resources needed. She seemed really scared which is completely normal after your car was sent flipping three times. She had blood on her forehead. "I'm Derek, I'm a surgeon. What's your name?" He asked.

The girl closed her eyes for a second before she answered that question.

"Jo ... Jolie." She finally answered.

"Good, Jolie, your going to be okay." He assured her, trying to keep her positive. "That'd be nice." She smiled at him before he continued his primary survey on her.

But before he got a chance to examine her further, he heard a small voice calling for help.

"Help." It seemed like it was another child, at the age of five or maybe six.

The girl heard it too.

"That's my little sister." She croaked, panic sounded in her voice. Derek was hovering over the injured girl and started doing a primary survey. "Are you feeling pain?" He asked. She shook her head. Derek knew adrenaline was a pretty powerful drug and knows that when it wears off, they'll see the full extent of the injuries.

Derek slowly stood up, looking for the little girl that had called for help.

She was walking around, probably had been able to free herself. He kneeled down in front of her went he saw her. She looked scared, tried to hide. But finally she seemed to trust him and when Derek told her to come with her, he needed to get her away from the wreckage, she reached for his hand.

She looked at him with big eyes, wide with fear and shock.

"Come." Derek smiled at her.

Then Derek heard the other girl scream for him, causing him to look up and looking over to her. The little girl on his hand was frozen when she heard this. Of course this was dramatic for a little girl.

"Derek. I can't ... I can't feel my legs anymore."

Now she was nearly hysteric. "Don't move." Derek called back, knowing he had to go back and immobilize the spine before doing anything else.

Oh, crap. Spinal injury.

Irony could be really horrible. If he had an OR and proper medical equipment and resources this wouldn't be a problem ...

But here's the thing, he had no operating room nor a CT to confirm the diagnosis ...

Derek, the little girl still held onto his hand, hurried back to where he left the older girl. Also, Nicky, the boy had made his way over to them. But it seemed like there was something wrong with his ankle. Maybe it was broken or something.

It was hot, the sun was shining. They needed water. Derek had the slightest "Don't move so fast." The little girl told him with a small voice.

"Where are we going?"

Derek glanced at her face. She didn't seem injured but as soon as he manages the spinal injury - situation he'll carry out a primary survey on the little girl, just to be sure that he wasn't missing something that could be fatal. But first he had to help sort this spinal thing out before continuing anything.

She was already fearing the worst of what could possibly happened to Derek. Pictures of him being in a car crash and announced DOA before reaching the hospital. He severely injured in a car wreck that threatens to take his life. Meredith froze when the cops rang on her front door. She was afraid to open it because then there would be bad news, about Derek. Plane crash and Derek missing didn't mean anything good.

And it was ture. Meredith froze when the cops rang on her frontdoor, she was like frozen. Unable to move.

Or even breathe. She doubted that she'll even be able to speak coherently.

She needed Cristina- She always knew what to do. But that would not work since Cristina Yang was currently in Switcherland or more specific, police were ranging on the door for another time- This time they also called her name.

"Mrs. Shepherd? We need you to open that door." The voice sounded serious.

It was sending Meredith's thoughts in overdrive and she swore that her heart just skipped a few beats. When she heard that they were calling her Mrs. Shepherd, she flinched. They were calling her Mrs. Shepherd. Nobody ever calls her that. She was Grey, for them. Always. But that didn't matter.

Derek was what matters. Nothing else.

Then she finally moved and went to open the door. She tried to prepare herself for what was coming (maybe?!). Preparing for the worst.

When she looked at the officers' faces she instantly knew it was bad news, although they they tried to hide to hide it.

Meredith was barely able to keep it together. She just wanted Derek with her, him safe- both lying upstairs and their bed and talking about their future baby, they were talking about before he left. Damn it. She might never see him again. Alone that thought almost caused to her to hyperventilate. Was Derek, was McDreamy, dead?

She eyed the two officers, both were standing there with a somber and serious face expression. She waited for them to say something but when they didn't budge she said, trying to keep it together: "How can I help you?"

Seriously, Meredith?

"It's five p.m. and my husband's missing, he never returned any of my calls and I am freaking out which is ..." Shit, she was rambling, the policemen exchanged glances. "I am he one ... I was just about ..." Meredith swallowed, closed her eyes for a second as she tried to regain composure. She doesn't want to break down in front of the cops.

"I am the one who's supposed to be calling you. You know 5 p.m. was my deadline." Meredith laughed nearly hysteric. Every person had another way of dealing with emotional stress and this was Meredith's way. "I'm the one supposed to filing a missing persons - record and instead, before I get to do that, you show up here to tell me he's already dead?" Tears were filling her eyes.

Meredith's voice was breaking, she was barely able to suppress he upcoming sobs.

"I mean, can the universe be more cruel? I almost lost him at so many occasions. We were in a plane crash, he was shot ... and now after everything he survived he died in another plane crash." Meredith was npw jumping to random conclusions.

The elder officer stepped up and interrupted the rambling of Meredith: "Ma'am, we don't know yet."

"What you don't know that?" Meredith was confused.

Derek wasn't dead, or they just didn't know?

"We've located tthe car. There were two cars, one completely destroyed and another one crashed against the rocks. We think, the driver was distracted, the other car flipped and that's what caused him to swerve and ..."

"Okay." Meredith said. "Is ... is my husband alive?" She whispered these words.

"That we don't know." The younger man said.

Meredith frowned. This couldn't be good. "So, what we're saying, you have found two cars on a rural road, both have been in an accident, but what about the passengers? Where's Derek? Haven't you found him, where is he?"

"We don't know. We will keep you updated."

"Thanks." Meredith felt like she might throw up. This was more horrible than she thought it was. Two cars, one flipped and exploded ... maybe he died in the explosion when he was trying to save the others in the car ...

No ...

Meredith wasn't feeling very well after the police officers turned around and left her standing there, shocked and frozen. They drove away, with their blinking lights. Then she was alone. Alone with her thoughts about Derek and that that might have been the last time she had seen him.

"Meredith, are you okay? What did the police say, did they found him?" Amelia fired one question after another.

Meredith groaned slightly.

She hated this situation.

"They were able to trace his car, his and another one but they only found two cars without the passengers … One flipped over and completely destroyed and the other one crashed against a rock. But they didn't find the people." Meredith revealed the shocking facts.

Amelia just stared at her in pure shock.

Meredith turned around and grimaced faintly before going her way. Amelia glanced at her worried. Even though she had told Meredith to back the hell off she still wanted to make sure Meredith was okay.

"Don't feel so well. Like said before, Derek's gone missing. And I …" Meredith didn't end the sentence, instead she paled and ran for the bathroom.

"Meredith?" Amelia followed her. She was worried about her brother too. Meredith suddenly felt the need to throw up. She couldn't take it anymore, she felt bile rising up her throat and made a dash for the bathroom just in time. She began throwing up, Amelia appeared in the doorway. Without being asked, she entered the room and held Meredith's hair back.

All her strong and overwhelming emotions were taking its toll on her. "Are you okay?" Amelia asked as Meredith stood up, she flushed the toilet before walking over to sink to wash her face and rinse her mouth.

"Yeah, fine. Probably just the stress and all, you know with Derek missing."

Meredith avoided Amelia's question. Amelia looked away, remembering what she said about her not knowing what it's like to lose the love of her life. She could tell that she was thinking this, that she has lost Derek.

If the police haven't found him, just his car, how are the odds of him still being alive? She had no idea.

You never know what happens, what your own nightmare might look like? How do you cope when tragedy hits ...

You never know until it happens and then it hits you out of nowhere ...

A/N: Tell me what you think. This is based on the last episode and the promo for 11x21. I really hope Derek will be okay ...