Warning: SLASH. You no like slash, you no read. You like slash, read on! ^_^
As always, flattery and constructive criticism are very very welcome. Flames are unappreciated, but tolerated under certain circumstances. I will not accept flames that are due to the slash content. You have been warned, hence, if you flame me for this reason, I will consider you an imbecile who can't read. However, if you don't like slash but decided to give it a try here and end up still not liking it, well, I guess you gave it a try. Flame me!
OK…enough of this silly A/N business!! Just read the story!!
OH…I don't own any of these characters and most of the dialogue is borrowed. As you know, they didn't want to think this way but I made them!! ^_^
* * * *
" 'The pieces of my broken heart are so small they could be passed through the eye of a needle.'" Jocelyn looked up from the letter she was reading. "He writes as though I had died."
"Aye," I said, and our eyes met. "He dies as well." She continued to read the letter, William's letter. We had all helped to write it but Jocelyn would never know that. We had all poured our hearts out to her for William's sake.
" 'Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day, and especially through the night. The hope that after you are gone from my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you.'" As she read I felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks. I couldn't help it so I didn't try. I let them fall; an open testament of my love, a love unrequited, a love forbidden.
I wiped my eyes with my handkerchief, then handed it to Jocelyn, who was also crying now. Although I had been there when the letter was being written - had helped to write it myself - listening to it being read affected me in ways I hadn't expected. I'd been aware of my feelings for Will for some time now. I knew nothing would ever come of it; I knew Will would eventually fall in love. However, I hadn't expected it to happen so soon.
Now, standing here, listening to Jocelyn read Will's proclamation of love, all my old feelings resurfaced. As she read, I imagined that Will had written it to me, that those beautiful words were directed towards my ear. I knew it was stupid, and inwardly threatened to fong myself.
Jocelyn finished reading and looked at me. I ran a hand through my unruly hair and tried to compose myself. "My master," I began, "hoped you might have something to send him in return." I almost hoped she would deny his love and break his heart. But Will loved her. If she tried to deny him I knew I would do everything in my power short of fonging her to change her mind.
After a moment's pause, Jocelyn looked up at me and, biting her lip, grinned broadly.
* * * *
As I neared the gate, I pulled on the reins to slow down my horse. I could see Will and Chaucer from a distance, deep in conversation. Will looked troubled and distraught, a condition I wished never to see him in. The thought of Will being distraught tore at my heart. I knew the message I bore would make him smile. For this, and my own selfish reasons, I couldn't wait to deliver my message. I spurred my horse on and galloped to the gate.
As soon as I passed the gate I jumped down and ran over to Will and Chaucer. Will stepped forward, an eager expression on his face. I liked to think he was just excited to see me, but I knew the truth. He desired news of his lady.
His brown eyes sparkling and his excitement barely contained, Will blurted out, "What news Wat? Have you seen her? Did she read the letter?!" he was practically bouncing. It energized me to see so excited. At the same time, however, I knew full well that his excitement stemmed from the coming knowledge of Jocelyn, not from seeing me. The thought sobered me up and made me sulk. I couldn't make eye contact with Will for fear he would figure me out. They say your eyes are the windows to your soul, and I did not need this particular secret to be let out. I twisted my foot in the dirt.
Slowly, I looked up, realizing that my lack of response was probably causing Will anxiety. "Yes, and….yes." I finally replied. Having his full attention focused on me, I grinned. "She's comin to Paris!" I yelled. We both started jumping up and down. Through all this I had felt Chaucer's eyes on me, as if he was trying to catch something. However, he and Roland were both smiling at this news.
"Did she give you anything to give to me?" Will asked. "A letter? A token?!" I looked away. I couldn't meet his eyes…not knowing what I had to do. I had to find some other way to convey her message to him. The most direct approach, although the most desired by me, was unacceptable. They would know.
Will persisted. "A token? Did she send me a token?" I finally looked up, conflict setting loose a thousand butterflies within me, each of which I wanted to fong.
I nodded slowly. "Well what is it?!" Will exclaimed excitedly. Looking down again I twisted my foot in the dirt. "C'mon! Give it to me!" Will demanded.
At that, I made my decision. You want me to give it to you, you silly git, then fine! I'll give it to you! I looked at him then. Our eyes locked and I knew he could see it. His brown eyes clouded a bit with confusion, and before he had a chance to fully realize what he had seen, I moved. I leaned in, took his face in my hands, and kissed him.
How long had I wanted to do that? How many nights had I listened to him prattle on about his plans, his future, and wanted to shut him up with a kiss, not so much to shut him up as to just touch him? I'd finally done it.
I immediately turned away, spitting and wiping my mouth to conceal what I was really feeling. They could never know what that had really meant to me.
Will stood still for a moment; I knew his eyes were on me, I could feel them. Finally, realization hit him - his lady had sent a kiss. Whatever he thought he had seen was promptly forgotten as he pumped his fist in the air.
"Yes!" he exclaimed, "yes!! Hell yes!!" He began jumping around like a lovesick youth, rejoicing in the victory of his lady's kiss.
Now that the attention was no longer on me I stilled. I watched Will, victorious and happy. He was experiencing a happiness I could never bring him, a joy he would never find in me.
I smiled a bittersweet smile. Perhaps this is as it should be. I got to experience one moment - one moment of true happiness. I smiled once more at Will, who was too lost in excitement to notice me, and went over to the horses. Perhaps that is all we are ever granted.
~*~* Fin *~*~
As always, flattery and constructive criticism are very very welcome. Flames are unappreciated, but tolerated under certain circumstances. I will not accept flames that are due to the slash content. You have been warned, hence, if you flame me for this reason, I will consider you an imbecile who can't read. However, if you don't like slash but decided to give it a try here and end up still not liking it, well, I guess you gave it a try. Flame me!
OK…enough of this silly A/N business!! Just read the story!!
OH…I don't own any of these characters and most of the dialogue is borrowed. As you know, they didn't want to think this way but I made them!! ^_^
* * * *
" 'The pieces of my broken heart are so small they could be passed through the eye of a needle.'" Jocelyn looked up from the letter she was reading. "He writes as though I had died."
"Aye," I said, and our eyes met. "He dies as well." She continued to read the letter, William's letter. We had all helped to write it but Jocelyn would never know that. We had all poured our hearts out to her for William's sake.
" 'Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day, and especially through the night. The hope that after you are gone from my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you.'" As she read I felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks. I couldn't help it so I didn't try. I let them fall; an open testament of my love, a love unrequited, a love forbidden.
I wiped my eyes with my handkerchief, then handed it to Jocelyn, who was also crying now. Although I had been there when the letter was being written - had helped to write it myself - listening to it being read affected me in ways I hadn't expected. I'd been aware of my feelings for Will for some time now. I knew nothing would ever come of it; I knew Will would eventually fall in love. However, I hadn't expected it to happen so soon.
Now, standing here, listening to Jocelyn read Will's proclamation of love, all my old feelings resurfaced. As she read, I imagined that Will had written it to me, that those beautiful words were directed towards my ear. I knew it was stupid, and inwardly threatened to fong myself.
Jocelyn finished reading and looked at me. I ran a hand through my unruly hair and tried to compose myself. "My master," I began, "hoped you might have something to send him in return." I almost hoped she would deny his love and break his heart. But Will loved her. If she tried to deny him I knew I would do everything in my power short of fonging her to change her mind.
After a moment's pause, Jocelyn looked up at me and, biting her lip, grinned broadly.
* * * *
As I neared the gate, I pulled on the reins to slow down my horse. I could see Will and Chaucer from a distance, deep in conversation. Will looked troubled and distraught, a condition I wished never to see him in. The thought of Will being distraught tore at my heart. I knew the message I bore would make him smile. For this, and my own selfish reasons, I couldn't wait to deliver my message. I spurred my horse on and galloped to the gate.
As soon as I passed the gate I jumped down and ran over to Will and Chaucer. Will stepped forward, an eager expression on his face. I liked to think he was just excited to see me, but I knew the truth. He desired news of his lady.
His brown eyes sparkling and his excitement barely contained, Will blurted out, "What news Wat? Have you seen her? Did she read the letter?!" he was practically bouncing. It energized me to see so excited. At the same time, however, I knew full well that his excitement stemmed from the coming knowledge of Jocelyn, not from seeing me. The thought sobered me up and made me sulk. I couldn't make eye contact with Will for fear he would figure me out. They say your eyes are the windows to your soul, and I did not need this particular secret to be let out. I twisted my foot in the dirt.
Slowly, I looked up, realizing that my lack of response was probably causing Will anxiety. "Yes, and….yes." I finally replied. Having his full attention focused on me, I grinned. "She's comin to Paris!" I yelled. We both started jumping up and down. Through all this I had felt Chaucer's eyes on me, as if he was trying to catch something. However, he and Roland were both smiling at this news.
"Did she give you anything to give to me?" Will asked. "A letter? A token?!" I looked away. I couldn't meet his eyes…not knowing what I had to do. I had to find some other way to convey her message to him. The most direct approach, although the most desired by me, was unacceptable. They would know.
Will persisted. "A token? Did she send me a token?" I finally looked up, conflict setting loose a thousand butterflies within me, each of which I wanted to fong.
I nodded slowly. "Well what is it?!" Will exclaimed excitedly. Looking down again I twisted my foot in the dirt. "C'mon! Give it to me!" Will demanded.
At that, I made my decision. You want me to give it to you, you silly git, then fine! I'll give it to you! I looked at him then. Our eyes locked and I knew he could see it. His brown eyes clouded a bit with confusion, and before he had a chance to fully realize what he had seen, I moved. I leaned in, took his face in my hands, and kissed him.
How long had I wanted to do that? How many nights had I listened to him prattle on about his plans, his future, and wanted to shut him up with a kiss, not so much to shut him up as to just touch him? I'd finally done it.
I immediately turned away, spitting and wiping my mouth to conceal what I was really feeling. They could never know what that had really meant to me.
Will stood still for a moment; I knew his eyes were on me, I could feel them. Finally, realization hit him - his lady had sent a kiss. Whatever he thought he had seen was promptly forgotten as he pumped his fist in the air.
"Yes!" he exclaimed, "yes!! Hell yes!!" He began jumping around like a lovesick youth, rejoicing in the victory of his lady's kiss.
Now that the attention was no longer on me I stilled. I watched Will, victorious and happy. He was experiencing a happiness I could never bring him, a joy he would never find in me.
I smiled a bittersweet smile. Perhaps this is as it should be. I got to experience one moment - one moment of true happiness. I smiled once more at Will, who was too lost in excitement to notice me, and went over to the horses. Perhaps that is all we are ever granted.
~*~* Fin *~*~