Realm of Yesterdays
Disclaimers: no ownership ever of all things "Supernatural", and never would
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Softly musing, deeply searching, badly missing
The way of our paths
Left in some far fetched places
Not on high ground, not in our sight, not sailing on sea
Missing, losing the direction of our yesterdays, and our thoughts for tomorrow
Empty promises, abandoned dreams, forsaken, lost in the realm of yesterdays
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the end he was the only who survived
Figured that he would be… He couldn't die, Castiel did tell him.
The price he paid so that his Claire could have a normal life.
Not like him. All that sufferings, that pain of being detached from all that is human, and all that makes one human…
Dean had understood what it was like to give up his life.
After all, he had given up his. First, when he was four, then again when he was twenty-seven… Twice would have been more than anyone would and could give. But in the end, it still wasn't enough. When he was called upon to give up his life again, he did what only Dean Winchester could.
In the end, Dean's green eyes were the last things he remembered of him. Human had a strange way with them, when they were beaten, they were also unbeaten… Dean had a smile on his face, when his eyes were glassy, and his body broken, he still had a smile on his face. Jimmy couldn't forget that smile. He wasn't beaten, he was happy, like he had finally made peace with himself.
Who can understand Dean? Castiel certainly couldn't.
Now that Jimmy hadn't been human for so long, he had trouble remembering what it was like when he had been plain Jimmy Novak. Father, husband, friend, neighbor… Now he was just a vessel.
But they had been friends, kind of, when Castiel left him… sometimes. He had a glimpse of the brothers he spent almost all his times with. They were all that he had in the way of constant human companion. He came to know them, more than they ever realized. He knew Dean was constantly afraid for his brother, he knew Sam was constantly fighting, against an inevitable fate. And in the end he knew they both knew, perhaps from the very beginning there was no fighting their fate.
Of course, the harder Sam fought, the harder he fell. And of course, when he did, Dean would follow. Just so that Sam wouldn't have to do this alone.
He watched the brothers' fight, he couldn't do anything to stop them. Castiel couldn't, and he could even less. Sam was frightening, ruthless, cruel, and merciless. And Dean took every blow he could, like he always did.
There really was no winner in this war. What it was, was that he would eventually lose his only friends. When Castiel left, he told him he would be free. But what is the point of that freedom when everyone he cared for were not there, and he was the only one left, the only one who remembered.