Rage

It was his greatest weapon; it lasted longer than the iron sai's he wore. It lasted longer then his fists and drove him past the pain of a broken body. It was the reason for his successes, and his failures. It was why now he ignored Leo yelling after him, as the Foot swarmed over them. But Raph knew they'd be fine, after all it was the Foot. So he broke open the nearest window and caught glance at the speeding away car. Already he knew who was inside, and without glancing back he leapt out, catching hold of a nearby electric pole and swinging down, setting off at a run the instant he hit the ground.

Raph HATED traps.

But he hated letting people get away more, so that's why now he was chasing the black car, (still not reaching a speed he couldn't' match). He pulled shuriken from his sides, ready to throw them at the tires and let the laws of physics do the rest.

Suddenly a rush of heat slammed into his back and sent him flying into the road, the shuriken sliding away and, just as he leapt back up to his feet, the car was already gone. Raph cursed heavily trying to think about where it would have gone when a hand grabbed his arm, and yelled his name. He turned to slug the person when he realized it was Casey, "Hey Case you gave me a heart attack-"

But his face was wrong, the normally goofy (covered in a cheap hockey mask) face of his best friend was filled with horror, "why are you still here?! We need to help them!"

"Help?" before he could ask, Casey ran back the way Raph had come, and that's when Raph realized the immense heat that hadn't left, the source of the flame.

The building Raph had left was engulfed in flame, pieces of the roof caving in and walls collapsing under the weight. And that's when the realization hit him fully and sent him running back as fast as he could

Leo.

Donnie

Mikey

They were still in there.

He reached Casey with relative ease, quickly searching the collapsing building for a way in, he spotted one in one of the walls, a window that had been busted open but the frame looked steady. Raph reached over and grabbed Casey's' arm, "stay here." He ordered and he quickly scaled the wall and slid in.

Immense heat blew back at him, drying out his eyes and sucking air out of his lungs, but he fought the urge to cough and looked around quickly. This had been the floor he had seen his brothers on, but it was now full of flame and hard to see through. But this is what he had been trained for.

Ok not really. He'd just have to wing it.

With an arm raised over his eyes for mild protection he hurried forward, dancing over holes in the floor and glancing under fallen debris, "LEO!" he yelled, using the little air he had left, "DONNIE! MIKEY!" the floor shook under him and caused it to slide forward slightly but he then heard the scraping of rock, as though someone was trying to get through, it was faint but it was there. He found the nearest hole through the floor and jumped through (not his best move) as soon as his feet hit the ground hot metal burned his delicate skin, but he moved away and squinted through the smoke, "LEO DONNIE MIKEY!' he yelled again, desperate for a response. Then it came, with a mixture of coughing, but it was definitely a voice, "Raph!"

He moved forward quickly, moving aside several walls to see Leo kneeling by a cave in, looking over at him desperately there was a gash in his head and his hands were bleeding from the rough rocks and fire, "Give me a hand Raph! Quickly!"

But he had to be mad, Raph knelt down by him and grabbed his arm "Leo what are you doing?! There's a way out the way I came-"

"I'm not leaving without Mikey and Donnie!" he shoved the arm off and went back to the debris fighting another organ-shaking cough, "They're behind this wall and I need to get to them!"

"Leo you're HURT, I need to get you out of here!" trying to hide his own horror at Leos' truth, but Leo was hurt. And choking, he needed air. And he knew Leo would rather be cooked alive then leaves his brothers behind. Unfortunately there was a real chance of that happening. Raph made a note to apologize later and grabbed Leo by the wrist, slamming his shoulder into Leo's stomach and lifting him up over his shoulder.

"Raphael!? What are you doing?!"

"I'm getting you out of here idiot!" he tried to ignore Leo cursing at him with swear words that Raph didn't know, and the fact he was doing everything within his limited power to get free. But Raph wrapped an arm around Leos' legs and hurried back the way he came, leaping up and out of the hole in the floor he headed for the window again, leaping out the way he had left earlier, instantly the cold air made his skin freezing and his lungs burned heavily. But the sight of Case sent him running forward, quickly laying down the struggling Leo by Casey, "Keep. Him. Here." He forced out. Casey immediately warped his arms around Leo's torso (who was now aiming his threats at Casey) he turned and ran back to the building. That's when he felt something cold and wet running down his face, at first he wondered if it was raining, then he realized that he was crying. HIM. RAPHAEL.

That thought itself almost made him laugh. Once again his body was trying to betray him, but that wasn't going to stop him.

Back into the inferno and back to where Leo had been digging and knelt down to continue his work. But the rocks were packed in so tightly that it sliced through his finger tips without any give. Raph cursed heavily, looking around for some miracle when it came in the form of a metal rod (probably came free from the inside of the wall) and grabbed it, the hot metal scalding his hands and sending the smell of cooked turtle to fill the air, but he bit his tongue and began to hack at the pile, with a satisfying crunch the rocks began to give away. But the floor once again shifted under him, but he cursed at it with limited breath, "Not now." He just needed long enough to get through. Finally the rocks gave away to reveal a fallen wall. Raph stood up and braced himself his arms shaking heavily from exertion, and brought it down again, but it only left a small crack. He cursed again 'wall if you do not break in the next five seconds…' and raised it again, slamming it down, this time the wall cracked complete, revealing the objects underneath it. Raph tossed the spike aside and peered in.

He caught sight of something green, a hand (luckily attached to an arm). Covered in dust, he knelt down and took it and felt the wrist, a pulse. Steady. He took the pieces of the wall and heaved them away.

The wrist had belonged to Donnie, lying onto of Mikey with his other arm around his baby brother. They were both unconscious, but it was obvious Donnie had been trying to protect Mikey. His leg was at an odd angle, and there appeared to be a short crack in his shell but there appeared to be no other serious injuries.

Raph knelt down to get a better look, he took Donnie by the shoulders to pull him off of Mikey but the brainiacs grip only turned tighter on him. Raph shook his head, "dam brainiac." Lungs burning he turned to cough it out, wiping his mouth with tired arms. His body was protesting every movement. Saying he had done enough. His body was telling him that it would be impossible to carry both of them out of the building. That he had to chose-

Yelling in frustration he punched the ground, only to have it shake from instability. This

was one of the times when his body would fail him but his rage would carry on. That stubbornness that could break diamonds. He pulled Donnie and Mikey towards him, grateful to hear them breathing lightly. There was no way in shell he'd give up any of them. HE forced his arm between them and tried to pull Mikey out of Donnie's grip, but the brother's grip tightened all the more, "Dam it Donnie, I'm trying to help!" he cursed, not even sure if Donnie could hear him.

But, amazingly, Donnie's eyelids shook slightly, opening slightly looking Raph right in the eye as though he was about to say something but just as suddenly his eyes fell and so did the grip on Mikey.

Even though Raph wasn't affectionate, he was quite sure he could have kissed his brother right then. He gently pulled Mikey over to him and lifted him over his shoulder like he had Leo. That's when he turned to Donnie, carefully draping his arm over his shell and holding his little brother under his arm.

Legs screaming in protest he forced himself into a standing position and hurried out of the room. The floor shook again, pieces of floor giving away from under his feet and causing him to dance around like a possessed monkey, "DAM DAM DAM!'" he shouted, that's when light streamed into the room, and for a horrified moment he thought that angels were coming to DRAG them to heaven. But that's when he noticed the shape of buildings and night sky going through.

Not bothering to ask himself what irony had caused this, he ran forward, feeling the hole in the floor opening wider as though DETERMINED to drag him under. It was motivation enough for his body and he launched himself forward out of the room and into the air. His mind spinning so much that he didn't know up form down so be braced his body and his brothers even tighter against him.

Which didn't make the impact on grass any easier, the dirt jabbing into Raphs knees and causing him to cry out in pain and p double over, he probably would of collapsed by now if the weight of his little brothers didn't' send him back up.

Of course, by now his body was DETERMINED not to get up. Causing him to growl heavily, "Ok, ok I know you're tired, but you're not in charge here." Slowly he put one leg up, good. It stayed. Then the other, his body swaying slightly but he forced himself forward. Through the smoke that was spilling around them.

Finally Casey came into view (still holding onto a struggling Leo.). But when Leo caught sight of Raph with Mikey and Leo, it must have been the burst he needed because he tore free and ran forward to meet him. His head was bandaged by some piece of Casey's' golf bag and he was limping heavily but other then that he seemed fine, "Are-are they-"

"They're alive, but they need help." His voice came out gruff and low and it tickled his coughing box (he didn't care if that wasn't the official term. its what he was calling it). For a moment he relished the fact his brothers were here. Together, his eyes closed as he felt the comfortable weight of Mikey and Donnie in his arms. But when he felt something tug on Donnie his eyes shot open and glared at Casey, "Get off him-"

But Casey's' glare was just as determined, "you're exhausted Raph, I'm trying to help. Let him go."

Raph glared back but realized the truth and slowly let Casey lift him away, "Be careful with his shell, there's a huge crack in it. And his legs, be careful with those-'

"I KNOW." True to his word, he carefully lifted Donnie into his arms. But Then Leo swayed slightly, eyes rolling back. Raphs' hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder, "hey Hey!" he shouted, snapping Leo awake grabbing Leo's arm he forced it over his neck and put his free arm around his stomach.

Of course, Fearless had to be Fearless, "Let me go Raph! I can walk-"

"Leo unless you want me to man-handle you again you will DEAL with it.'" He growled heavily through several coughs. That's when Raph felt Leo's arm wrap around his shoulder.

It was a compromise, they'd help each other.

-8888888888888

By the time they had reached the Lair Leatherhead, April and Splinter were already ready. Once again, it was a bit of a struggle to get Mikey away from Raph but he relinquished his hold. But then pushed Leo towards them too (" even if he doesn't want it" he growled) and no one on Earth could escape Leatherhead's grip. All Raph could do was watch helplessly as his three brother's were carried off into the infirmary. Only when the door was closed did he allow himself to relax in the slightly, hand on the wall he made his way over to the couch and sat down heavily resting his head on the back of the couch.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was waking up, the bright lights of the lair stinging his sensitive eyes and making them water. It was only when he was wiping them on the back of his hand did he realize that 1) someone had come and bandaged his burned hands and feet, and 2 ) that Master Splinter was sitting right next to him. Raph was about to ask him what was wrong when the past events slammed over him and he turned back to the infirmary, the lights to the room were still on but the sound of frantic movement kept down to a minimal, "Are they-" he looked back to his father, hoping for a answer.

And always, his father had one, "They are alive." That wasn't a good response," they are breathing on their own, Michelangelo has broken his right arm, Donatello's knee was shattered and his shell was cracked but there is no reason that they shouldn't' heal and Leo had a concussion along with several broken bones in his hand. But other then that they are all fine and are still asleep."

The relief in Raphs chest was so immense that he couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes, and quickly he wiped at them ,"D-dam smoke in the eyes…" but judging by the smile on Splinters face, he knew better. And felt a cold glass being pressed into his hand, which he tried to push away, "Master I'm fine-"

"Then humor me."

Raph looked over at him again, before taking it. But he knew he didn't deserve it no matter how badly his throat wanted it. So he changed the subject, "why wasn't Blood Rain at the warehouse?"

"It appears our sources were. Corrupted.'

"We were duped you mean." he hated that word, he could already feel his fist tightening around the glass in his hand, "it was all for nothing?!" before he would let Splinter answer,

he stood up and slammed the glass into the nearest wall

"My son ENOUGH!"

But that was up to Raph, his fist followed the glass and slammed the wall angrily, causing several specks of dust to fall down, "DAMM IT! THAT MISERABLE COWARD! THAT SHELL-EATING MONEY GRUBBING MURDERING-" he remembered that moment, when Leo had called after him. When HE had decided to leave the battle. That it was no longer his concern, this time he didn't bother to hide the tears, they burned down his face like acid but it didn't matter, 'it was all my fault " .he pressed his forehead against the wall, slowly sliding down onto his knees, "I left in the middle of the fight. Leo yelled for me, but I didn't listen, I wanted to get Blood Rain. I wanted him to suffer for all the people that he had hurt. Hell, I was so angry that I didn't notice the building had blown up till Casey grabbed Me.," he fought the sobs, "I failed them. If I had been there then maybe they wouldn't be in the state they are now." His fist shot out and slammed into the wall again, "d-dam it."

Raph felt an arm drape over his arm and turned to see his father kneeling by him, gently pulling his arm down and away form the wall. And there was something in his eyes, tears. The same that ran down Raphs face

, "My son." as usual his voice was gentle and understanding, "If you had been in that building with them then I would be burying 4 sons instead of simply tending to them. They are alive BECAUSE you left, you saved them. You protected them." His father's hands found their way to his face and gently pressed his forehead against his, "I am so grateful, now more then ever, that you are my son."

Raphs forehead slid forward, resting on his fathers shoulders, wrapping his arms around his small weak body, he fought to get his breathing under control, his anger slowly ebbing away, "thank you father."

-88888888888

"Raph! Raph-head wake up!"

At first Raph wanted nothing more then to knock the Casey-voiced alarm clock right in the kisser when he realized that it was the actual pest leaning down to his face. Without even having to look he reached out, grabbed Casey by the face and shoved him back (not enough to hurt him, just enough to get him away) before sitting up and stretching. For the first time since the fire his body actually didn't mind moving. This was surprising since he had been out for about 8 hours. What was even more surprising was the fact he had only been in that fire for 10 minutes.

10 minutes

10 minutes of searching for his brothers

10 minutes of dragging them out

10 minutes of begging for a miracle.

How it had seemed so much longer. But he didn't' show it. Instead he glanced back at Casey annoyed, 'what's up Case?"

"Mikey and Leo are waking up, and Donnie is stirring-"

Raph barreled past him and threw the infirmary door open. Just as Casey had said, under the amused eye of Leatherhead, Leo was already sitting up in his hospital bed with his legs over the side, rubbing his bandaged head with a baseball mitt of a cast while Mikey was already tugging on the cast on his arm, "shell this thing is going to get itchy, Oh Raph! Hey Ra-" but before Mikey could finish that sentence Raph was already across the room and hugging Mikey tightly to his chest. Already his baby brothers arms were flailing around, "help! Help Leo! I'm being crushed-" but when Leo walked on over to see what was going on, Raphs other arm shot out and squeezed Leo into his side. Relief once again welling up in his chest, it was one thing to HEAR they were going to be ok. It filled him so much that he kissed both of his brothers right on the scalp. Of course this didn't help Mikey's flailing, "OH GAWD! RAPH KISSES EWWWWWWW!"

"Oh shut UP shell for brains." Raph playfully pushed Mikey away and released Leo (who immediately started gasping for air), "you two are ok? No pain?"

"If I tell you I don't' feel pain, do you promise not to kiss us again?" a typical Mikey response

Raph looked over to Leatherhead, "He doesn't have brain damage does he? No bruises on the head?"

"no." said Leatherhead, "because Donatello was covering him, he received surprisingly minimal injury. His head was especially protected-"

"Good" immediately his hand shot up and slapped Mikey upside the head ("ow!") before turning to Leo. , "You?"

His older brother smiled, "no pain Raph, other in the neck from Mikey." He winked at his baby brother before turning back to Raph, "thanks to you bro." placing his bandaged hand on Raphs shoulder. It only occurred to him then the damage to Leo's hands, would they affect his swordsmanship? , "Leo-"

But Leo was a mind reader, "Its mostly bone breaks, but with some therapy I should be able to use my swords again."

Raph didn't really respond but simply turned to a moan from the middle bed, watching Donnie's eyelids stir he hurried over, putting a hand on Donnie's scalp, "Don? Don? Do you hear me?" he demanded. One last brother, one last test to see if they all truly were ok.

Slowly Donnie opened his eyes, and as soon as they made contact with Raph he smiled softly, "hey-hey Raph."

The red-masked turtle sighed heavily, grabbing the hospital bed for support, "thank shell thank shell." Turning to Leatherhead, "thank YOU." he added and without waiting for a response turned To Donnie, who was already smiling. Raph couldn't help but smile back and rub his little brothers scalp slightly, "Shell Don, you can't scare me like that ok? That wall could of killed you."

"What can I say, it's good to be a turtle." Donnie smiled. Raph knew he was trying to make him feel better. And it was appreciated. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Leo and Mikey join him at his side. This was a moment that Lifetime could make a movie about, a great moment when everyone escaped ok. Raph's eyes fell on Donnie's leg, which was already cast in a black cast, before glancing over at Mikey's cast and smirking, "Looks like you aren't going to be reigning havoc on anyone for a while Mikey."

Mikey's face immediately fell in to a mischievous glare, "is that a challenge? Are you challenging my infinite creativity?"

"No I'm challenging your chronic annoyance syndrome. I'm not even doing that I'm TELLING you you aint terrorizing anyone for a while. Or I'll put you in a FULL body cast."

"Aw Raph-"

"Same goes for you Brainiac." He glanced over at Donnie smirking, "You're BOTH under house arrest."

Donnie rolled his eyes, "Ok Leo junior."

Knowing he only said that to get on his nerves, Raph reached out and flicked Donnie right on the fore-head, "Smart –shell."

Donnie looked up at him, opening his mouth to say something when pain flashed across his face as he cried out in pain making Raph jump back in surprise. He didn't even flick Donnie that hard , or so he though. Raph hurried forward again as Donnie breathed heavily, "Don? Don what's wrong-"

Donnie slowly opened his eyes his body tense and braced, "I-It-it was no-," but when he turned his neck again to straighten out he cried out again. Raph quickly scanned over Don's body trying ot see the source of the pain when Leatherhead used his arm to push right by him, quickly settling into Doctor mode. By now Splinter had ran in to, driven by his sons screams and Leo had rounded the bed to Donnie's free side. The fact that Raph could no longer see Donnie only added his anger, especially after Leatherhead denied his second attempt to push by, "Let me through dam it!" he snapped at the crocodile (fighting the urge to toss him out the door if he wasn't trying to help Don) he had been praising mere minutes ago. He felt a arm wrap around his and yank it away, he was about to slam his elbow into the persons face when he saw it was Mikey. Of course, in his baby brothers state he couldn't' hold him back, but the fear of injuring him caused Raph to hold himself back. He knew he had to calm down, to focus. He put his arm around Mikey's neck and pulled him close to his side, forcing Mikey's' presence to keep him in place , "Its ok bro, its ok." he told him.

Normally Mikey would have shoved him and complained about Raph being 'brotherly' but Mikey kept a grip on Raph's wrist. It assured him that Mikey was just as scared as he was. All they could do to watch on helplessly as Leatherhead and Splinter began to work on the moaning, pain induced Donnie. After what seemed to be a millennium Leatherhead finally stepped away holding Don's x-rays in his hands. Already, as Leather head looked from Mikey and Raph to Leo Raph knew it wasn't good news.

"It…it appears I have overlooked a problem-"

That didn't help, "Overlooked!? How the SHELL do you overlook-"But a quick glare from Leo (who was holding Don's shaking hand) forced him to silent. Leo looked over to Leatherhead, "Please continue."

Leatherhead turned and put the x-ray's up so they could all see them. Because Raph wasn't gifted in the 'medic' arts he wasn't' sure what he was supposed to be looking at, "I apologize, your physiology is still hard for me to read. But it appears that Donatello has suffered extensive damage to his back in the sciatic and obturator nerves from when the wall fell on him."

Raph felt Mikey tense on his arm and would of said something to him when the sound of Donnie mumbling filled the air. Raph released Mikey and hurried forward, shoving by Leatherhead and grabbing the bars of the hospital bed. In the past few seconds Donnie had turned deathly pale, his body shivering heavily and sweat rolling down his skin. His eyes squeezed shut as though he mentally trying to stop himself from screaming. Raph felt Leatherhead grab his shoulder but he yanked away, this was NOT the time to touch him," Don! Don what is it?!"

Donnie slowly opened his eyes in reaction to Raph's voice and twitched his head in his direction only o cry out again. Raph swore heavily at his own stupidity (shoving off another attempt from Leatherhead to move him aside), "Don't move dam it!" he ordered Don, "What-what are you trying to say?"

There was a pause, as his little brother composed himself in his agony. And Raph knew everything. The nerve damage would make every movement absolute agony for Don. Barely even able to move his neck, his little brother. Mikey always had the title of the youngest. He was "kiddo" "dorkster" "baby brother" and "dorkzilla" but Donnie had always been the 'little brother" and it had nothing to do with the fact he wasn't as "toned" as his brothers. It was simply who he was: Mikey was "baby bro" and Donnie was "little bro." And that was something everyone understood in that moment as Leo held Donnie's hand with Splinter at his side and Mikey stepping forward, the guilt coming off of him in waves.

This time when Don opened his eyes his neck stayed rigid and straight and only his eyes looked over at him, obviously fighting back tears of pain. He looked Raph in eye and whispered in a hoarse voice,

"I'm sorry."

And that did it, the rage was back, Raph's' breathing becoming heavy and hard like a wild beast., gripping the hospital sidebars till the sound of tearing metal filled the air, his heart pounding filled his head and blocked out everything else. He felt an arm touch him but he yanked away and ran out of the room. Ignoring his brothers yelling after him. And when Casey tried to grab his arm he yanked it away. They wanted an explanation he knew that, but there wasn't one.

He only stopped one time and that was to his room to get the duffle bag he had stored in

the floor. One he had swore to never open again. He ran to the garage and leapt on his motorcycle, grabbing his helmet he revved up and was out. The adrenaline burning in his veins as one name kept repeating itself over and over again in his mind.