this is prtty much like my lief storie. all of de evnts in dis fanfic r totally tru.

hi my name is shadow wolfwringer the 3rd. i am 4teen and rlly hot. like srsly smokin hot. im in loads of fandoms. i like harry potter(who despite bein named potter isn;t rlly a potter. hes like a wizard or some shit idk.) n shurlock n cryaoict n pewdepie n like everything right. i supose my storie started liek last year when me and my totally smokin frends were all gettin redy 2 go out. i was puttin on my makeup when my friend andrewlicus (he aint rely callt dat its just a nickname) waas all liek "bitch yall don't need no makeup. u fienn just da way u are" he sounded liek bruno mars n i was liek, "omg andrelicus dat was a totaly hot thin say" dont get da rong idea tho we werent gunna do the do or nuttin. but just ta make sure i through in, "but ur liek my best friend and shit, so yah. no homo, brah." andrewlicus kinna gaev me dis rel wierd look taht was like, "omg im so sad" :c but i didnt caer. andrewlicus culd suck mah dick for all i craed (but i wuldnt let him cuz dats what he wanted 2 do. lul. i dont even haev a dik.) i had a crush on sum1 else... cryaotic monki the sandpape crystoph and his helpful companion the pewds of pie. dey were both so hot. n so was bennidect cucumberbatch n hrry potter. lawl. i wish i culd meet them all.

in the past i had tryed to find cry but i culdnt. my mom an my little brothers and sisters an shit were supost to b goin tah didney lan but i told them they culd go fudge themselfez an i wnet to go serch 4 cry. it wasn't until da end of the trip dat i remmbrd dat we were in CA and cry was in weherever cry lived an dat was sad.

tahts wen suddenly da florr went all not-floory snd started lookin liek i was trippin on lsd but i totes wasnt. andrewlicus can tell yah dat, he was der. but of course dat bastard wont admit it n jst says i were rolling round on dah florr like a lunatick. hes an yeh the floor was totlly craycray and i were rly scared so i gragbbed on to andrelicus n screamed but he liek ignored me n shit so i jusyt got sinkeded down under da florrbords.

floting, floting. i was like uber bitchingly scared. fuken adrewlicu blew me off liek da lil shit dat he is and let me fuckin sink. basterd. i didnt know were in fuk i was. it was just all dark n it luked like i were dat one swimmin boy from the bishie amine wen he swimmin in da water n its all dark n shit. lol, wtf even is a bishi, stoopid fuken fangirls. n y was he swmin in da dark? dats like uber stpid coz den ull get eatenz by da shark! D:

but lol yeh. anyhoo so im floting into dis abyss liek "smoke weed erryday biches" wen sudenly i drop! yeh like drop out of da fukcen sky. my ass was rely killin 2... coz i fell on it. lol. but den just as im about to flip a fuckin table, IT HAPPENS.

lol. tension.

there, in my face, was CRYaoTIC MOnkI Da SANdaPapeA CRtysTOPh. now yall prbbly wonering how i knew it was cry. wellllll guess what bitches i got super mad magical-girl powers dat let me read pplz minds and i red dis hottiez mind n let me tell you, he was cry. he was cry n so much more. i could smell the gamer on him and sense da sheer NERD.

"im leik u", i whispered in one of his hotteh ears, 2 wich he drew back and gave me a luk of unnerstanidng.

TENSION.

"I kno da interwebz" I hissed again into his bootiful ear. "I kno u."

End of 1st chapter

yeh, so liek, dat was da first chapter. tell meh wat yah thought n shit. ;D 3 #SmokeWeedErryDay