If you're like me, and have been a veteran for Leyton stories, then there's a good possibility that you have already read this story. I decided to re-write it and add more detail without actually changing the storyline too much, in hopes of being inspired to finish it or at least crank out another chapter or two for you guys who left me amazing feedback on this one. Looking back I realized that if I were to change any of my stories in an effort to get back to writing it, Dear You was probably my best bet. It's a little AU, but then again I don't think it's too AU, if that makes any sense at all. So, I hope I at least connect with a few people who enjoyed the story before, and gain a few newer readers as well. Happy reading, thanks lots! -- Brittany.

Have you ever felt like no matter how loud you screamed or how long you cried.. it wouldn't make a difference? This is the reason I believe people write sometimes. It's their way of venting, or getting out everything they need to say, but don't have the guys to say, off their chest. Or at least I know that's why I have chosen to write down things going on in my crazy, messed up life lately. Actually I don't write that much, and it's definitely not a past time of mine, we can all leave that to that Scott we all like to call 'the blonde heartbreaker'.

Lucas. Damn him. Damn him for coming into my life. Damn him, for letting me open up, and take down these walls I've built up. But then again, I love this boy more than words could ever describe. It's funny how love works out really.

The ink of her tattered diary page had been already smeared so many times she started having trouble rereading what she had written down. But she knew exactly what she had written down and it was more than likely burned permanently in the back of her head. Everything from remembering what they had, what they had lost, and what was still there; what would always be there. She tried several times to get him off her mind by sketching angrily in her sketchbook, but before she even realized the pages would tear stained as well. Her art was always a way to release her tension and feel somehow disconnected from the world for just that time being, but lately it was just causing her even more pain, the lines she so painfully and carefully sketched out always seemed to turn into something about him, something about them. So, a few days ago she decided to try something different, and opted to express her feelings and anguish instead on paper.

At first it seemed the easiest thing in the world to do. All that would be required was for her to throw all of her feelings, thoughts and ideas on the paper, and when she was done she could just simply throw the piece of paper away, stuff it secretly under her mattress or just stick it somewhere no one would ever dream of looking.

Then the diary entries stopped becoming so angry and filled with confusion, and instead they were becoming poetic pieces of writing that she didn't even realize were just worded versions of her sketches and paintings. How could she know that everything she was writing about was still about him, when she never re-read what she wrote? Today's written therapy was written in a mere 15 minutes in the form of a letter but with a sad poetic twist. Glancing over what she had written without actually reading it, she quickly stuck it a book Lucas had given her a long time ago.

Dear you,

You don't understand the way I feel... and you probably never will. So here's my secret letter to you that you will never find. I love you... Three small words that can change so much. I love you. The words you'll never hear me say, but Lord knows I'll always feel. I wish I could tell you the way you make me feel, but I can't. Our friendship means the world to me. I'm scared to reveal my hidden love for you. Scared to death of loosing you and even more terrified of being rejected. I've never felt this way before and it's got me all mixed up. I want to forget about you. So I can go on with my life, but I can't do it. Then I begin to think what my world would be like without you. Completely. I may not know what I want, but I do know that I'll have you in my life anyway I can, even if it is just as a friend. I don't care just as long as you're here with me. It hurt seeing you with her, so I tried to not even look. Tried to act like I didn't even care, even though the pain was so deep. Like someone had grabbed my heart and tore it into a thousand pieces right in front of me. I told myself to let go of you and to just go say hi, to be happy for you. Like any other friend would. My feet could do the walkin', but my heart.. it just wasn't ready for the talkin'. So I left without a hello, but with a broken heart. Something I have never experienced before... and something I never want to feel again.

---

"I missed you at school today," a voice called out softly from a distance behind her, startling Peyton.

Instantly she froze, not even having to turn around to see who was at her bedroom door. It was him. She knew it was, his presence had always been distinctive.

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling well today," Peyton answered trying to force out a fake cough.

He laughed a bit, walking over where she was and sat down next to her on the bed, "Wanna talk about it?"

Turning to stare into his eyes.. eyes that she noted she gotten lost into one too many times before. She blinked pretending to not understand what he was talking about, "Talk about what?"

"Whatever is bothering you," he stated simply, a look of satisfaction covering his face, his knowingly smirk that practically threw it in her face that she could never or would never be able to hide anything from him.

He knew he had that effect on her, and he always used it against her.

"Obviously it's still bothering you.." He restated, noticing her start to zone out and become detached from the outside world like she sometimes would.

She stared at him for a few moments, with a blank expression on her face as she searched for the right words to come to her. 'What's bothering me is you. The way I have fallen completely and utterly in love with you.. AGAIN. Well not exactly again, but maybe I just realized I had never really fallen out of love with you. That Lucas Scott is my problem.' Well it was at least what she was telling herself.

"Peyt.." Lucas whispered cutting off her thoughts by waving his hand in front of her face, "Would you just talk to me?"

"I've just been thinking a lot about my mom again," It wasn't exactly a lie, but it obviously wasn't the thing eagerly consuming her thoughts completely these days, "Both of them," She managed to mutter softly.

Gently wrapping his arms around me, he held me tight against him, his words were soft and soothing like usual, "You know I'm always here for you, Peyton."

Closing her eyes, she took advantage of their touching moment to quickly take in his scent that was his and nodded, "I know.. it's just sometimes I wonder why though."

The disappointment in the tone of his voice was obvious when he lifted up her chin with his finger, forcing her to look into his eyes as he spoke, "I'm here for you, because I want to be.. because I know you'd do the exact thing for me," he smiled softly before adding, "and mostly because I know how close we are, and how we don't keep anything from one another."

For some reason, the comment to her felt as if there was a sort of anticipation and hope in his voice. Like he was wanting to hear her say something. But she was sure she was wrong. Like always. And there was no way in hell, she was gong to tell him the real reason she decided on skipping school today. It's not hard to think why you shouldn't, when you remember you have to live with consequences of your actions.. ever since you opened up to that boy, she thought to herself again. Sure she and Brooke finally got over that huge bump in the road and mended their fences, but it doesn't help when once you get over that bump, another one just magically pops up not long after.

So what if.. she told her best friend that she thought there might be a possibility she still had feelings for Brooke's boyfriend? It wasn't like she was actually going to act on the damn feelings. She without a doubt loved Lucas, but she was more than positive he didn't return the same feelings, and she wasn't about to risk another friendship over it either.

Once again she was caught off guard when Lucas interrupted her throughts again, "We don't keep anything from one another, right Peyt?"

"No, of course not," She whispered hardly enough for him to hear, and shook her head, "I've always told you everything.. everything you should know."

'Wow, Peyton you're just becoming an expert at this lying thing. Maybe you should do it for a living.' Sometimes she really was her worst enemy.

He smiled softly, "Good."

Curiosity finally got the best of her, starting to wonder why he came over in the first place, "So, what's up?" She asked finally, "Why did you come over?"

"I can't just come to see my best friend, and hangout?," he smirked slightly, raising an eyebrow.

"Uhm, no," She chuckled slightly as his smirk quickly faded into a frown, "Dude, I was totally joking.. but really what's going on?"

He hesitated at first but then answered me with another question, "Have you talked to Brooke lately?"

He noticed that she started to laugh at his simple question, so he added, "I know you two haven't exactly been speaking.." he started to ramble on and on, "Actually I don't know why you two just out of the blue stopped being friends.."

Well, she knew exactly why they weren't on speaking terms, and the person was standing right in front of her. She was the one interrupt him this time, "No, I haven't talked to here recently.. why?" She asked her heart starting to race, dreading for the answer I know is about to come.

"She broke up with me a couple of days ago and I don't know I was just wondering if she had maybe said anything to you, " he finally revealed the not so shocking truth.

'Great.. just fucking great, Peyton. Don't you dare tell him you might have an idea why Brooke suddenly called it quits with him.' Her mouth was always getting her in trouble somehow.

She shook her head and added quickly, hating how much she was holding back with him, "No, but I'm so sorry.. I know how much she meant to you."

"Yeah.. don't worry your pretty little blond head off though, because I will get her back and you two will get over whatever it is you two are going through," he looked away for a few seconds but then quickly turned back to her, "But hey, look at it this way.. I'll have a lot more time for us to hangout."

"Greaaaat!" She jokingly said, pretending to sound not so pleased about the idea.

"Ooh, ouch that one hurt," he played along, "Maybe I'll just hang with the Daddy Sawyer.. he appreciates my excellent taste in literature.. unlike friends I know."

"Actually, you're doing me a big favor," Her smile seemed to being growing bigger by every second, surprising her.

Ironic it really is, considering the reason she had been brooding all day was sitting here next to me making me smile again.

"A normal person can only take so much after listening to you obsess over dead writers and how much influence they have had on your life, " She added still smiling.

He chuckled softly to himself and then commented, "Speaking of dead writers.. have you finished those books I gave you long time ago?"

Laughing softly, she managed to nod her head, "Actually yes, and there were surprisingly good."

"Well, I just finished this book, and I would really like for you to give it a try," he smiled sweetly.

"Highlighted with footnotes to help me along, right?" She asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing she wouldn't be able to make it past the first page without them.

His books were always hard to understand, so he started to highlight the important stuff and write down, what he thought the author was talking about after she kept going to him, asking what the hell was going on in the book.

"Like always, just for you," he smiled, his simple words and smile effecting her a lot more than she had wished they did.

"Okay, you're books are over there on my nightstand," She pointed, showing where they were.

After reaching over to get them, he stood up, "I should probably get going.." he paused for a second, "Unless you want to come over and hangout.. I need to give you that book anyway."

"Luke, I'm just not too sure if that's a good idea," She looked down, and said softly.

"Why not?" Luke asked sounding somewhat disappointed in the answer.

"You know exactly why, Lucas," She sighed, standing up as well.

"Yeah, well that reason just broke up with me, so I think we're fine," he said a bit with a bitter edge to his tone, "And still even if Brooke and I were together, do you honestly think I would just stop coming around, because she told me not to?"

"Lucas," he interrupted even before she had the chance to get out his entire name.

"Peyton, no.. I thought you knew me better than that," he bit out obviously becoming upset with what they were talking about, "I'm not going to just cut you out of my life.. I can't, and I won't!"

Bitting onto her lip, she finally looked up at him and nodded, "Good, because I wouldn't want you to."

And with that, he attempted again, "So, would just come with me?"