After spring comes summer than comes autumn and lastly it is winter. Each year the circle will repeat itself with no one being able to stop it. Time cannot be stopped and flows forever just the same way how all living beings die one day.. some sooner and some later. Hanji Zoe 14th Commander of the Survey Corps was very well aware of it. Ever since the last expedition where they lost Erwin and her loyal assistant and friend Moblit and everyone else from the old Corps besides her and Levi, she felt the pressuring weight of responsibility riding on her shoulders. Each day, each minute, each second it was there, the feeling to do more, to do the right thing, to work even harder to archive peace for the Eldian kingdom and it's people. She wondered what Erwin would do in her shoes now... having to fight not against titans anymore but against the whole world which didn't accept them.
And if it weren't enough holding the Corps together became more and more impossible due to some recruits not being keen on her having the rank as Commander.
Just finished signing the last paper in front of her Hanji sighed and stretched herself in her chair. How late was it?
Eyeing the clock on the wall she groaned. It was past midnight already and there was no end of work in sight for her. She felt like she shut herself forever away in her office the past few days, since she was lacking behind with her paperwork, negating with the other military branches about their next move and the freshly arrived Marley 'comrades' they didn't know yet if they could fully trust them or not which left her with no time to do anything else almost.. not even eat or sleep she did regularly. Moblit was surely scolding her from up there every minute she chuckled thinking about it along with Nifa, Abel and Keith the others of her old squad. Maybe even Nanaba or Mike and Erwin... so many they had lost already and for what? They were still so far away from winning.
"I hope you think I am doing a decent job being a Commander Erwin... at least you-"
"You cannot replace Erwin you know that but you do not a half bad job being yourself as Commander"
Looking to the direction of the sudden male voice, Hanji's brown eyes stared at the raven haired captain which had just entered her office. Closing the door behind him Levi made his way up to her until he stood in front of her desk. He looked at her with crossed arms over his chest and was now intensely studying her. Hanji could feel how his grey blueish eyes bore into her making her uncomfortable.
"L-levi your still awake!? Long time no see! We were both so busy with work we couldn't talk the last few days with each other, right? 2 of 3 days it should be now, right!?"
"It's been 5 days since you locked yourself into here. You only left to grab at least once a day something to eat from the cafeteria or to head to the bathroom."
Levi correct her and making her scratch the back of her head nervously.
"Really!? Wow I didn't notice it is this long ago already hahaha..."
Levi huffed walking around the desk and pulled her together with her chair away from her desk until he had enough space to pick her up into his arms bridal style, making her yelp in surprise.
"What are you doing!?"
Clicking his tongue Levi noted how light she was. She had lost weight which means she didn't eat properly in his absence at all. The dark circles under her one eye not covered by a black eye patch telling him she hadn't lately slept much either.
"Idiot, go to sleep and take care of yourself even without me or Moblit around. What great Commander are you gonna be if you drop death from exhaustion instead of leading the Survey Corps!"
His voice wasn't harsh as he said those words but it was enough to make Hanji cease all her struggling in his arms until he dropped her gently down on the nearby sofa in her office. The blanket which laid at the side of the sofa Levi used and tugged Hanji quickly in. Without words he grabbed her glasses, carefully pulling them off her face along with taking her eye patch off her face and placing them both on the coffee table next to the sofa.
"Sorry... for making you worry Levi. "
Hanji said, knowing behind his grumpy words he was genuinely worried over her. Afterall she was one of the best persons to understand him. Finally feeling her eyelids already growing heavy as well she started to shut them, being able to take a break and to go to rest for a long time.
"Tch, just go and sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. Good night Hanji."
Hearing those words was the last thing Hanji remembered before everything turned black.
The birds chirping was the first thing Hanji heard as her eyes fluttered open. Groaning she sat up on her sofa, blindly touching around for her glasses until she found them and put them up.
Looking around she released she was still in her office. She remembered how Levi carried her to the sofa in the evening and was pretty concerned over her. Blushing lightly Hanji sighed, this was no time for thinking over trivial things like this, like her feelings. Her brown eyes looked out of the window, widening as she saw snow falling down. Stepping closer to the big window her eyes wandered down to the white training recruits were now weaponized with snow shovels trying to clear the pathway. But at this rate if the snow would continue falling down like this they would have to do it in a few hours again.
"What day is it even today..."
"It's the 24th December Commander."
Spinning around surprised Hanji for the second time since yesterday evening was eye to eye with her short friend Levi Ackerman.
"L-levi!? Again you are here!? Are you stalking me or what now?"
Hanji asked, only later releasing now what he held in her hand. A tray with fresh food was in one hand while in the other he held a cup of tea in his hand.
"No, but someone has to take care of you and make sure you start eating properly again."
Shoving the tray in her arms Levi pointed at her desk and took his seat in the free chair next to her desk, sipping from his own tea, clearly making no move to leave her side until he was satisfied and seeing her eat.
"Fine. I will eat."
Starting to eat across from him Hanji kept thinking about what he had said earlier, stopping as she released finally what day it is today. The piece of bread she had been chewing on almost falling out of her mouth again.
"Really? It is the 24th December today!?"
Levi nodded.
"Yes, it is. And don't talk with your mouth full."
Hanji groaned, quickly swallowing her bread down before she was hiding her head in her hands. What was wrong with her? She didn't got any presents for anyone... she always gave her close friends something... to Levi especially.. because it was his birthday too.
"Are you free today?"
The question came sudden and made Hanji look up again from her hands. Thinking for a moment she supposed she needed a break. So yes she was technically free.
"I suppose so. Why?"
"Than take a shower after you are done eating and get ready. I will pick you up in about two hours. Dress warmly it is very cold outside."
And with those words Levi got up and left her office, leaving her head filled with questions.
"I don't even know where you want to take me!"
She yelled after him but Levi never stopped, closing the door quietly behind him. But Hanji could swear if her eye didn't deceive her he was smirking.
Exactly two hours later on the dot Levi knocked at her door to her room. Hanji was just finished with getting dressed. She wore a cream white colored pullover since it became pretty cold by now and and Levi ordered her to dress warm, some thick black pants and warm snow shoes. Over it she wore her military mantle. Her hair she put up in her ponytail and her eye patch was back over her eye in place to cover up her ugly scare.
Opening the door she stood in front of Levi which wore the same dark green military mantle as her. She could spot his white cravat around his neck and he wore black pants and warm black shoes just like her.
"Ready?"
Levi asked eyeing her up and down.
"I am. Will you tell me now where we are going?"
Hanji asked but Levi only grabbed her arm and pulled her with him. She almost dripped over her feet, crashing into his shoulder.
"Sorry. But you are too fast! My feet cannot keep up so suddenly without warning."
Levi sighed slowing down for her sake. Hiding a slight blush on his face, looking ahead instead of at her face.
His hand moved lower, instead of grabbing her arm he readjusted his grip to her hand. Levi was holding now her hand tightly making Hanji blink a bit surprised but decided to kept quiet, feeling her cheeks growing warm clearly however.
Walking through the hallway they passed a group of soldiers chatting with themselves. They stopped abruptly as they spotted the Commander and the captain. One soldier in particularly glared at Hanji clearly. This was not unnoticed by Levi, glaring back at him which made the red haired person quickly walk away with his comrades.
"Floch Again."
Hanji muttered, having seen the face he was making at her obviously.
"Is he doing this a lot?"
Levi looked backwards after him unhappily. He had to hold himself back to not let go of Hanji's hand and charge after the boy and kick his ass.
"You know how he is against me being the Commander or disliking you. Remember the ceremony with Historia our Queen?"
"The one where he lashed out at Armin? How could I forget."
Levi clicked his tongue. He really didn't like the guy from the first time he saw him and the more time passed the more Levi learned how right he was.
He guided Hanji to the barn and they took out their horses to ride out.
Hanji looked bitter while they rode, her mind was thinking over something. Levi could only guess but he had a feeling it was Floch.
"He needs a lesson. Punish him and it should-"
"We still almost have no recruits at the moment, Levi. If I punish or kick out anyone that is trying to quarrel a bit with me, we would be lost and with no Survey Corps. As long as he does not neglect his duties and just says some bad words over me or glares at me I am fine. He acts like a brat but it does not mean I have to react to any of his bullshit. He will be bored soon enough after he sees what is truly important."
Hanji tried to reason with him but Levi didn't liked her answer at all. Instead of arguing with her he decided to shut his mouth however. Today was supposed to be a good day and not a day where they are supposed to be fighting.
Arriving in town they continued walking on their feet. It was still snowing lightly even now turning the town into a beautiful winter place. Every house was decorated for Christmas. A big Christmas three stood in the center of the town square which you could spot even from far away, being higher than most houses.
Seeing Hanji's good eye sparkling in awe over how beautiful everything looked made Levi smile silently.
Seeing her like this was more to his liking.
It was truly cold today. Her breath made cold fog as Hanji blew her hands, feeling cold and rubbing them together.
"Maybe I should have taken some gloves with me... aren't your hands cold Levi?"
"A little..."
Levi paused eyeing her hands for a while until he suddenly got an idea. Slowing down his pace, Levi grabbed one of her hands and held them in his own before he pulled both of their hands in his mantle pocket to keep them both warm. Without any words of explanation, he continued to walk close to her now. Hanji was blushing a lot by now... it was warm... his hand was warm, his presence was comforting and caring... he was warm.
"Levi...?"
"It's better, right?"
Levi merely asked as if it was no big deal.
"Yeah it is."
Hanji couldn't help but smile. They simply walked aimlessly around town with no real destination in mind. The snow was crouching beneath their feet creating a comfortable atmosphere between them. They didn't needed any words to know each other. Yet Hanji felt like she had to say something after a long while of just walking.
"Levi... thank you. For taking me out and taking my mind off from all the Commander work for once."
Levi said nothing but she knew he was listening to her, so she just continued.
"...you remember two years ago as we were walking around in town just like this with Erwin together?" Her eyes wandered to their holding hands making her cheeks rose up again. "Well almost like two years ago. We were shopping for the Christmas party.. I had so many books gotten and you ended up helping me carry some and complained none stop. Erwin had gotten his favorite wine we later drank all together with Mike, Nanaba too..."
"Hm"
Levi hummed in acknowledgement. He remembered very well.
"You know Levi... I think after thinking for a while over it now you did the right thing. Letting Erwin go and rest. After having to work for so long now in his position I released how hard and stressful it is... and I am amazed how many years Erwin did it without ever complaining over it."
She paused, stopping in her tracks as Levi turned around and finally faced her. His expression showing only surprise, his eyes wide.
"Hanji I-"
"No, Levi I feel like someone had to tell you this since a while now. You did the right decision. I am fine with taking this load of Erwin's shoulders now and besides you are here and always help me too, right?"
Her smile was honest and Levi felt how all his words, all his planned out sentences he wanted to say leave his brain. In the next moment Levi felt Hanji move closer to him and placed her arms around him, hugging his frozen up self now.
It took a while until he awkwardly was able to move his arms and put them around her thin waist, hugging her back.
Even if it was only for a short while until Hanji separated from him again it was more than enough to fill herself up again with a new burning energy.
Taking his arm this time she started pulling his still awkward self with her. This time Hanji was leading the way, grinning from ear to ear. Thr crazy brunette guided him to one shop to another now. She picked out a bottle of wine she remembered Erwin used to recommenced always than she had to stop in the near bookstore and they started looking at all of the books, all the while Hanji asking for advise from Levi and explaining stuff. 6 books later which of course Levi had to carry now, Hanji lead him to the next place.
Levi was still speechless and amazed how her mood had changed and she was herself again. The bubbly happy exciting person he fell secretly in love for. It made him smirk as he continued to follow her or get dragged around rather. Hanji already making him enter the shop. A tea shop.
"Let me buy you something for you now. What tea would you like? Just pick out whichever you want."
"I didn't asked for anything."
"But I want to! Come on Levi! Just pick something out."
Hanji pouted making Levi unable to say no to her. So he ended up looking around, with known eyes scanning the shelves and taking his time clearly. Hanji watched him happily and let him alone, her eye despite only having only one left spotted something which took all her interest now.
About 10minutes later Levi had decided which tea he would like to buy. Now he had to be only looking around in search for his lost companion. Shortly after Levi spotted her near the cashier, a bag in her right hand while waving at him with the other. She was signaling him to come over to her as soon as she spotted him, her happy smile still splattered on her face.
"What did you get?"
Levi asked her looking at her bag only to have Hanji hold it further away from him and instead quickly paying for his tea.
"Secret."
Raising his right eyebrow in confusion, Levi ended up staring at her, only to receive her tongue sticking out of her mouth.
"Not gonna tell you Ackerman. And you are not allowed to take a peek that's an Commander order."
"That's abuse of your rank Hanji."
Levi complained, truly wanting to know now even more what she got, but Hanji stayed quiet and strict pressing the bag close to her chest with both of her arms tightly clutching it.
It already had become pretty dark and the street lights got turned on, making the Christmas atmosphere even prettier. As they walked past a clothing store which was still open, Levi stopped and started walking backwards, this time again it was him leading the way, pulling her backwards with him and inside the shop.
"What-?"
"Just come on. And don't ask too many questions."
Inside an old man, the owner, with many winkles on his face and big framed glasses on his face greeted them with a kind smile.
Levi nodded along with Hanji kindly in return as Levi made his way to a certain shelf he had spotted from the window. Picking something out of it he came back to a still clueless Hanji which had waited for him.
"Put your bag down and give me your hands for a second."
"For what?"
"Just do it shitty glasses." He said a little impatiently, making her chuckle as she obeyed and held her hands out to him.
"And now?"
The next moment Levi had revealed a pair of brown and rather expensive looking woman gloves. A moment later he was already putting them on her. They fit her perfectly like they were meant for her slender fingers. They were very comfortable to wear and warm too. Her brown eye looked shocked down at her hands than back up into Levi's face.
"I am going to buy them." he declared simply as he was already spinning around to make his way to the old man.
"Wait what!? Why!?"
Hanji grabbed him by the back of his mantle and spun him back around to face her.
"Your hands are cold, they fit you perfectly and it is Christmas. You remember?" He replied already making his way to the old man again to pay for the gloves.
"But I bet they are expensive!"
"Don't care." He said back at her as he put the money on the counter from his wallet.
From the amount she saw he had placed on the counter she knew they were indeed expensive. Idiot. Hanji didn't felt like she deserved any present from him for that she almost forgot what day today is. Looking around the shop she sighed, watching as Levi adjusted his mantle and buttoned up even his last button. Was he freezing around his neck?
Having a sudden idea, Hanji disappeared between the shelves as well, her bag with her secret inside always with her. Levi blinked surprised as he noticed she was suddenly gone, only to have her re-appear right behind him. Something soft and fluffy suddenly was being draped around his neck and as he looked down and touched it he noticed it was a black fluffy scarf.
"Better, right? This will keep you warm just like your gloves will keep me warm."
Smiling after seeing his baffled expression Hanji turned to the shop owner and went to pay for the scarf just like how he paid for her gloves. Levi was still touching the scarf with his fingers, pulling it up high to cover his face as they left the shop and entered the cold winter night air again. It wasn't so cold anymore for both of them but warm and comforting instead...
Looking at the clock in the town center they noticed it would be soon midnight by now and so they took a short break. So instead of walking around they sat down at a nearby bench inba park near the big Christmas tree.
"Thank you again for today Levi. I had a lot of fun."
Hanji suddenly said as she turned to him.
"No problem. I'm glad you feel better now."
Hanji took all her courage then together and let her body lean against Levi's side and shoulder. To her surprise he didn't complain, only putting his arm around her vest and keeping her as close as possible to him and his shoulder.
"Merry Christmas Levi."
"You too Hanji. Merry Christmas."
Hanji smiled warmly at him only to lean to the side and press her lips against his cheek as soon as the clock hit midnight. 0:00c'lock. The 25th December, Levi's birthday
"And Happy birthday to you too Levi. You were the only one remembering this year in September 5th that my birthday was, so it's only fair that you got something back in return." Putting the secret box in his lap she grinned. "Go on open it now."
Doing as he got told Levi was for the second time speechless today.
"I saw the tea cup set and just had to get them along with your tea. Now we have a pair together. Nice, right? Your scarf is my Christmas present to you and the tea you picked out and the tea cups are your birthday present from me."
Hanji explained why he got so much in just one day.
"Thank you."
Grabbing into her ponytail Levi forced her head down to look at him and suddenly kissed her on the lips. Hanji's cheek grew visible red, her eyes widening out of shock. The kiss took her breath away, doing nothing until she managed to close her eyes and kissed him finally back.
Separating again for needed air, both didn't know what to say and do so they just had their foreheads rest against each other. They understood each other even without words just fine, just having to stare into each other eyes said more than words.
"We should get back to headquarters now..."
Levi was the first to speak and separate from her slowly.
"We should. I have a meeting tomorrow at noon with Commander Pixis and Nile. Will you-"
"I will be there with you. It's over Eren, right? We are responsible for the brat, humanity's hope, right? And he slightly changed lately... you noticed too, didn't you?"
"A little.. I hope it is only because they are becoming slowly but surely adults and their teenager hormones are acting up."
"I wonder about that..."
Hanji nodded not quite sure either. Taking his hand as he helped her stand up from the bench and grabbing their bags before they could return to their horses and ride back home. To their home.
Arriving at headquarters a while later after a comfortable ride back, the two soldiers got greeted by the same soldiers than before, Floch and his gang being on snow shoveling duty or rather at the moment they were neglecting their work and talking instead.
"It's just like I tell you if we continue trusting our Commander we won't win at all. We should attack Marley right now and not sit around doing nothing! If Commander Erwin were still here-"
"If Commander Erwin were still here my ass. Don't talk as if you know him red head."
Levi having let go of Hanji's hand after having heard enough this time, charged at Floch now. His murderous glaring blue eyes spelling death literally onto his face.
"Captain!?"
The others were instantly panicking from Floch's group but not him. His short panic was replaced by a frown, looking past Levi to Hanji which made her way slowly up to them too now. Her hands full with all of the stuff they got giving Floch a good idea what the two might have done while they were out on a date.
"You would think the same captain if your mind weren't clouded by your feelings towards our useless new Commander here. With your popularity I bet you could get any woman into bed. Your judgement was better as Commander Erwin was still with us. A crazy person like her having to defend Paradise is unaccep-!?"
Levi had heard more than enough. In a swift movement he had grabbed Floch by his unnatural red hair and kicked him with his kneww into his gut before he send him flying a few meters with another swift kick, watching with delight how his body hit the snow. Levi was furious a murderous aura could almost be felt emitting from him as he started walking up to Floch's body on the ground again, to give him another beating.
"Levi that's enough! That's an order from your Commander!"
The sudden commanding voice of Hanji put him to a halt. Turnong his head around Levi was now glaring at her.
"What!?"
"I told you that's enough."
Hanji said in a stern voice before her attention went to Floch and his friends which tried to help him back up on his feet. His nose was bleeding from hitting the ground and he was pissed.
"You two take Floch to the infirmary. Than you all will be on stable duty for the next 4weeks and kitchen duty as well. Floch you will fill out a report to me each day about your work and bring it to me. Should I find out you are slacking off again or do anything else which does not follow our rules I will put you in one of our cells for a few days. That's all. Now retreat and back to work everyone!"
Watching them obey her orders she went past them and past Levi inside, while Levi took a short glance backwards and shot a death glare at Floch for good meassure which actually made Floch flinch a little.
"You will know what pain truly is if you say anything bad over Hanjj ever again. Am I making myself clear here?"
Seeing Floch gulp and mumble a short 'yes, sir.' Was all Levi needed to her and quickly followed after Hanji.
She went straight to her room which still did exist next to Levi's.
Inside she dropped everything she bought down onto her table and let her tired body flop onto her mattress.
Levi followed right after her worried. Finding her on her bed with her head hidden in her pillow, Levi sat down next to her at the edge of her bed.
"That guy was talking crap and you know it."
"I know. But what if I could have really done more."
"Than I am here to clean up after you if you screwed up."
His hand grabbed hers on her bed. holding her hand gently while all the while his thumb made small circles on her skin to calm her down.
Forcing her body to turn around after a while, Levi crawled on top of her to be able to look directly into her beautiful brown eye.
"Levi... will you... stay here for tonight?"
"Ah. If you want me to."
"Yes. I don't want to feel lonely or you to feel lonely either."
Nodding and understanding Levi started taking off his clothes before he started helping Hanji out of her winter clothes. After they were fully undressed besides their underwear Levi joined her in her bed and hugged her from behind protectively.
"Good night Hanji... now go to sleep and stop worrying over some idiot like that guy"
"I know.. thank you Levi. You mean so much to me..." she yawned. "Good night Levi and again Happy Birthday."
Feeling her drift off quickly into a deep slumber Levi remained awake, thinking over everything that had happened lately. About him and Hanji and their feelings for each other as well. Feelings they still didn't name yet. He would tell her properly after this all was over.. after this war was over and if just if they would have a chance to maybe... hopefully to see it through.. than he would tell her... but until than his objective still remained the same either way.
He would keep her safe and support her whatever it takes. Even die for her sake if necessary. She was everything he had left after all. And everything he needed to remain sane in this hell they were living in. Just like he was everything that kept her sane as well and stop her from breaking down. They were everything they had left and needed.