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I wrote this fic to express my contempt for fanfics in which people from the real world are transported into the world of One Piece.
I don't own One Piece.
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Brenda Montgomery sat at her computer, having just watched the latest episode of One Piece released by Kaizoku-Fansubs. She sighed and thought to herself, 'I hate my life! I hate having to go to school and listen to my parents and get ignored by the boys at school because I'm fat and ugly...I wish I could be transported into the world of One Piece! Then I could be the Strawhats' nakama and we could sail the seas together! And maybe Zoro would fall in love with me...' She blushed at her last thought. Sighing again, Brenda slipped into her bed and drifted into sleep.
Brenda awoke to the sound of waves splashing against wood. Opening her eyes, she found herself looking up at a bright blue sky. 'Where am I?', she thought. When she sat up and took in her surroundings, she screamed. It wasn't a scream of horror, but rather a scream of great delight. She was sitting on the deck of what she instantly recognized as the Going Merry. She jolted up onto her feet and pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She was indeed awake. "I can't believe this! I can't believe this!" she cheered. "This is so great! I no longer have to live with my stupid parents in my stupid house! I'll never have to go to school again! Everything is going to be wonderful!" As she thought outloud, she heard a cabin door open. Out walked a furry little creature with a large pink hat and antlers. "CHOPPER!!" she called. Startled at having his name called by an unfamiliar voice, the reindeer jumped. When he caught sight of Brenda, his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped a little.
"Oh my god, Chopper, I always thought you were so cute! Let me introduce myself, I'm -" before Brenda could finish her sentence, Chopper bolted back into the cabin. She could hear talking coming from inside, then shouting, then the door opened again. The first member of the Strawhats to come out was Sanji. "Sanji-kun!" she called. His head jerked in the direction of her voice, then he jumped in a similar fashion to Chopper. He was soon followed by Luffy, then Nami, then Robin. "Luffy-kun! Nami-chan! Robin-chan!" she screeched. They all responded the same way. Finally came Chopper, then Usopp. 'Hee hee, that's just like Usopp to be last! He's such a coward!' she laughed to herself. 'Wait, last? There should be one other Strawhat..' Just as she finished that thought, the green haired swordsman stepped out the door. She made a girlish scream. "ZORO-SAMA!!"
Zoro responded by jumping back a full ten feet, nearly falling off the ship in the process. "AHH!! WHAT THE HELL!? WHO ARE YOU!?" he shouted. "I'm Brenda!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "Oh my god, you guys! We're going to have so much fun as nakama! Oh gosh, where should I begin..."
As Brenda started to talk, the crew gathered close to each other. They were all feeling wary, and confused at how this intruder had managed to get onto their ship while they were in the middle of the ocean with no island anywhere in sight.
"Nami-chan! Robin-chan!" she shrieked. "Us girls will have so much fun! We'll sleep in the same room and tell stories at night and I can teach you all my favorite songs!"
Nami and Robin backed up a little - startled at being addressed by this stranger. After they registered what she had said, they showed a mixed look of confusion and repulsion.
"Usopp! I always thought it was funny how you're such a coward!"
Also startled by the fact that this person knew his name, Usopp took a few steps back, then, realizing what she had just said, he started to look a little angry.
"Chopper! I've always wanted to hug you! And you'll have to cure me whenever I get sick, k?"
Chopper hopped back again, feeling the same alarm he felt when the stranger first called his name. When her words struck him, he gave her a confused look.
"Luffy-kun, Sanji-kun, Zoro-sama! You guys are the strongest, so I'm counting on you to protect me!"
Neither of the three backed up like the others. They just stared at her.
"Luffy-kun, since you're the captain, you have the biggest responsibility to protect me, got it?" She giggled. "Oh, and you better not steal my food while I'm eating!"
Luffy cast her a confused look, then scowled a little.
Next, she turned her eyes to Sanji. "Sanji-kun! I know you'll be all over me since I'm a girl and all, but my heart belongs to Zoro-sama! We'll still be friends, though! We're nakama now, after all!"
Sanji raised a curly eyebrow at her.
Finally, she turned to Zoro. "Oh gosh, Zoro-sama, I don't even know where to begin. You are ALL MINE from now on!" she giggled, then shot playful glares at Nami and Robin. "You guys better not interfere with our love!" Upon announcing this, she launched herself across the deck at Zoro, attempting to bury her face in his chest. Then it began.
Before Brenda could come into contact with Zoro's chest, she was met with a heavy fist to the cheek, sending her flying backwards a few yards and landing on her rear. The mixture of the pain swelling up in her cheek and the realization that her Zoro-sama had hit her left her too shocked to move. After she regained her senses, she looked up at Zoro, and felt a chill crawl down her spine from the death glare he was giving her. She quickly averted her eyes to Sanji, expecting him to immediately run to her defense, attacking Zoro for having hit a woman. To her dismay, all she received from him was a cold stare.
After a full minute of silence, Luffy spoke up.
"Who are you, and why are you on our ship?" he asked in a serious tone.
"I...I'm Brenda.." she whimpered. "I come from the real world, and I was transported here somehow -" she was cut off by Luffy.
"Cut the shit. Why are you on our ship?" he asked again, commandingly.
Brenda was now shaking. As tears poured down her face, she said, "I always wanted to live in the world of One Piece and go on adventures with your crew! We'll travel together as nakama and -" she was cut off again by Luffy.
"You aren't our nakama. Get off our ship." Luffy said, emotionlessly.
At first, she wasn't sure she heard right. This wasn't like what she had dreamt of. This wasn't how the Strawhat crew was supposed to react.
She looked around her at each member of the crew, looking desperately for a sign of sympathy or kindness. She saw none. Chopper looked scared, Usopp had an eyebrow raised at her, Nami and Robin looked slightly disgusted by her, Zoro looked like he wanted to slit her throat, Sanji was completely emotionless, and Luffy was getting mad.
The captain tilted his straw hat a little so his eyes were shaded, then he spoke in a scary tone. "I'll repeat myself. Get off our ship. Now." His powerful voice made her whole body go numb.
"I...I can't. I d-don't know how to go back h-home!" she stuttered.
Zoro pulled out one of his swords. "I'm sick of this shit. Since you're on our ship and we didn't invite you, that makes you our enemy." A wave of pure terror ran down Brenda's back. "W-wait, I'm not your enemy, I just -" Brenda suddenly found herself unable to speak. After a moment of shock, she realized a large amount of blood was pouring out of her mouth. Furthermore, she realized that her cheeks were split apart and she no longer had a tongue. After catching a vague glimpse of a bloody sword, she let out a gurgled scream, only to find herself out of breath and choking on her own blood as the powerful fist of a man wearing a straw hat came in contact with her stomach.
She could no longer think straight. All she could feel was immense pain and sheer horror as she lay huddled over the ground, clutching her stomach. She could see the feet of the Strawhat crew and some of their faces. They were looking at her like she was some worm that had just crawled into their food.
Next, she felt an odd pain in her left arm. She soon realized that this was impossible, however, as her left arm lay on the ground in front of her. She was about to attempt another scream when a sandaled foot was planted, hard, into her face. She felt a painful dizziness as her nose broke, then she found her eyes stinging from blood that had trinkled down her forehead. After blinking a few times, she managed to regain her vision enough to see a sword hovering a few feet above her head.
She saw Zoro lift his katana, and she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the final blow. It didn't come. Opening one eye, she saw the figure of a yellow-haired man, shielding her from the sword with his foot.
"What..the HELL do you think you're doing!?" the chef spat, glaring at the swordsman. Brenda couldn't believe her eyes. Sanji had saved her! He had just-"Damn shitty swordsman! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood stains out of the deck!?" Sanji shouted, interrupting her thoughts. With a swift kick to her abdomen, Sanji sent Brenda flying off the Going Merry and into the dark waters below.
As she sunk into the depths, her consciousness slowly fading away, she wished she could be back in her own world, in her own house, in her own cozy bed. Then a shark ate her.
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Review if you want to. I accept flames.