Regina couldn't remember the last time she slept through the night. Sometime long ago. Two or three lifetimes at least. Before Leopold and the marriage probably. Well before Storybrooke... though that itself was starting to feel like a dream. She had had a habit of going to the dungeons when she was mistress of the castle and she woke in the middle of the night. It was rarely a fortunate prisoner that encountered the Queen then. She had needed something to remind her that she had no reason to be afraid. And the charred and broken bodies of prisoners temporarily gave her that.
Except all that were down there now were a couple of thieves and a wife beater. And while part of her would happily visit the latter she was sure Snow and David would have something to say about it in the morning.
So instead she found a wrap and moved to one of the open balconies that over looked the court yard. Perhaps if she just sat and watched the mountains she would find peace again. Sometimes she did. And sometimes she was there until the sun rose.
Regina didn't know how long she'd been sitting there. She missed watches. Time wasn't quite the thing here in the Enchanted Forest as it was back home... back in Storybrooke... but it was still nice to have perspective. At the rustling of skirts she expected a servant. She had found herself at ease with servants again without too much trouble, learning as many of their names as she could, but a castle as big as this one, now with a full royal court people actually wanted to attend, had many. But this wasn't a servant. It was Snow. She was standing in the arch way staring at Regina. The Queen raised an eyebrow, "Baby not letting you sleep?"
"He's moving, but that wasn't the problem." Snow admitted finally as she stepped out onto the balcony and sat down next to her. "What are you doing up."
"I couldn't sleep." It was pointless not to admit it. Surely the castle gossip had told Snow that much already. The Queen rarely slept.
"I remember when I was a girl you always had trouble sleeping." She looked down. "You can judge me for it, I do, but I try not to think about why."
Regina's head snapped to look at her, anger growing, but Snow didn't continue. This was not a night for that particular conversation. Though she supposed eventually they would have it. Regina had never desecrated the old king's body. It was in the crypt of this castle and eventually they'd have to have that conversation. But they had so many others to have that wouldn't hurt Snow so much.
"I had a nightmare." Regina decided to state simply to avoid a long drawn out conversation about it.
"What about?" Snow asked curiously.
"It's not important."
"Mine was about you." Snow stated without malice, but matter of fact. "I dreamed you were coming for my baby again. I dream about you less than I used to but still sometimes... being here doesn't help." She said the last looking around. "This castle. Even when I wake up next to David I forget when it is."
Regina was quiet for a long time, wondering if she was seeing the first embers of daylight over the mountains. "It's Zelena that is after your baby. I wasn't ever really after Emma. I was trying to kill you. She just... happened to be rather attached to you at the time."
It wasn't an apology of course, but Regina was trying not to sound too hurt. There were perfectly good reasons that Snow would have nightmares about her. Much better than her own reasons. "I was dreaming about you. I was running from you, wounded, and you were coming to finish me off."
Snow gasped a little in surprise. As if it was sensible that she should dream about Regina, but that Regina would dream about her seemed strange. Regina shrugged in reply. "Most night's it's someone killing me. It just so happened that tonight it was you. It's the cost of having everyone around you with a valid reason for wanting you dead." She thought she might have had a dream of everyone in her life killing her at one point or another. Except Henry. Well... no... unfortunately that wasn't true either.
She sighed and looked down.
Snow shook her head and reached out to grab her stepmother's hand. "Regina, no one has a valid reason to kill you. Killing is wrong and no one has a right to take your second chance away from you."
"Many would disagree with you."
"Many don't know you like I do. You are punishing yourself with these dreams of yours. Judging yourself."
"Wouldn't that mean you are judging yourself in your own?" Regina pointed out sarcastically. Maybe she could avoid a 5AM Snow White Lecture on the value of Hope and Redemption.
But the answer surprised her. "Yes, it does. Because I've a lot to pay for too, and you've always been the only person willing to tell me the unvarnished truth. Even if there was a little too much homicidal intent in your tough love."
"A bit more homicidal intent than love." Regina commented wryly.
"Yes but Regina, homicidal intent is how you show love sometimes." And Snow smiled. "Watch the sun rise with me. I don't think either of us is going back to bed."
"I don't think so either."
And she turned to look at the mountains again. She and Snow. They sat there in the castle that had been their home long ago and was again, watching the sun rise.
