"Well if you ask me, she's got her eye on that Alfonso bloke in sixth year."
"The Hufflepuff? Really Wormtail, Evans doesn't go for swarmy—"
Remus rolled his eyes, listening to his friends speculate, "Stop that sentence before you finish, Prongs. You're more swarmy than any Hufflepuffs, I promise." James swatted him over the head, but he dodged with plenty of time to stick his tongue out at James.
"It's not Alfonso. Where's Padfoot when we need him to back me up?" James looked around, as if just noticing that Sirius was absent.
"He snuck down to the kitchens a half hour ago, where've you been." Peter said, laughing.
Remus swallowed a bit of chocolate before responding, "I reckon he's too busy pining over the lack of chances he has with Evans."
"No, I'm trying to figure out who the bloody hell she likes. I heard that blonde on the Ravenclaw Gobstones team telling Fletchley that she overheard Marlene telling one of the other Gryffindor girls that 'Lily Evans likes a mystery bloke'".
"Still harping on that, Prongs?" Sirius flopped onto the couch beside the other Marauders, "Lay off. It's not you."
"It might be."
"It's not," all three of the other boys said in unison. James began to sulk, grabbing some of the snacks Sirius brought up and curling up on the corner of the couch.
"Look, the way I see it, we're mates now, yeah? She doesn't hate me anymore at least."
"She never hated you, stop exaggerating."
"Thanks for the input Wormy, I'll try to remember that next time I ask her out. Oh wait, I bloody well can't because if I do I'll piss her off and that's no good."
"That plan was your idea, mate." Sirius said, passing James a bottle of firewhiskey that most certainly did not come from the kitchens.
"No it was Moony's."
"It most certainly was not, I refuse to take responsibility for this."
James huffed, "Fine, Sirius's then," before Sirius could protest, he continued, "Anyway, I just want to know if there's a chance before I try again. Is that too much to ask for?"
"Look, just go ask her. About the crush on someone, not about a date." Sirius pulled out a deck of cards, beginning to shuffle them, "Or sit down, play poker with us, and stop with the wallowing because Evans won't want to date someone who's completely bollocks at having fun."
"How dare you accuse me of not being fun!"
"Well if the shoe fits." Remus mused, helping Sirius deal out chips.
Glaring at both of them, James turned to Peter for help, but Peter just gave him a pointed look. He was half tempted to have an overly dramatic joking tantrum, but that wouldn't prove anything, and poker did sound like it could be fun. Instead he decided to shove Sirius, starting a wrestling match that Remus and Peter allowed to continue until they began messing up the cards. Still, it was enough to distract James from his plight, taking his mind away from the heart and affections of one miss Lily Evans for the time being. They played cards past midnight, with the sound of a winter storm outside their dormitory window.
Three days later, the snow had halted and Lily Evans was royally pissed. She had allowed herself to get drunk and let the girls know she had a crush. And they spread it across the entire bloody school. Thank Merlin she hadn't told them who. She would never live it down if they knew. It was just a teensy tiny little detail that would go away as soon as she graduated in the spring. If she could just make it till then, the crush wouldn't matter at all.
She stormed across the grounds, heading for the warmth of the great hall after a frankly awful Care of Magical Creatures class. Unfortunately, someone else had other ideas.
"Oi Evans!" she turned in response to James Potter's yell, frowning, "Come join the party." And she could see, now, that amid the snowy white she could see most of the Gryffindor seventh years, and a few Ravenclaws sitting on some logs near the lake.
"It's cold!"
James laughed, replying, "So? We've got hot chocolate!" He beckoned her over with that smarmy grin. Sighing, Lily pulled her scarf up tighter around her neck and started over to them. Maybe through close exposure, this blasted crush would go away.
As she got closer, Sirius elbowed James, giving him a wink. James just pushed him off the log and into the snow in response. He offered her the now vacant seat Sirius had once occupied.
"What's the occasion?" Lily asked Remus as she sat between him and James, taking a hot chocolate from a Ravenclaw whom she vaguely recognized from the last Quidditch match. Oh what was his name again…not that it mattered he was a few years their younger and she was honestly a bit shocked the marauders invited him. Then again, she supposed he must be a pretty good Quidditch player, if she remembered him from there, so either James or Sirius must be on relatively good terms with him.
Remus took a second to pull his scarf down far enough to talk coherently before responding, "James had the downright brilliant idea to go ice skating." His voice was laced with sarcasm, "Please tell me you know how to skate so I'm not the only one here who can."
"Not exactly…" she replied.
"Brilliant. Are we even sure if the lake is frozen solid?" He smirked, knowing that his friends hadn't thought this through again but sure the resulting chaos would be hilarious.
"There must be a spell or something to freeze it, I just don't know one that would work on the entire lake…" Lily bit her lip, even though the prospect had only made her more curious, "Besides, we don't have skates."
"Peter claims he knows a spell for it."
"Ah."
Their conversation quieted to a companionable silence as they watched Sirius cautiously. He had finished getting all the snow off his coat and was now starting to stock up on snowballs, a rather terrifying thought. James hadn't noticed yet, but Lily knew that when he did a snowball fight was going to happen. She was tempted to head back up to the castle—it wasn't too late to escape the madness—but at the same time she was deathly curious. Of course she had seen the infamous marauder snowball fights, they had them on an almost weekly basis all winter, but this was the first snow since she and the boys had become friends. Maybe this time she'd even join in. Maybe.
A fluffy ball hit James smack in the nose. He jolted up, eyes gleaming, "Oh it's WAR." Immediately the other students began to notice. A few started getting out of the way, bringing their easily spilled hot chocolates and taking refuge a good distance off.
The Marauders on the other hand, flung themselves into battle.
"Dibs on Moony!"
"No he was on your team last time!" Sirius shouted while starting to pelt James with snow as the poor deer ran for cover.
Remus turned to Lily, "Are you playing?" She nodded, and he continued, "Sirius can have me, James gets Peter and Lily. Then everyone else can pick teams as they go along." Sirius immediately began throwing them at Lily too, but she, unlike James, had her wand at the ready. Blocking them as she ran to meet James in the bushes, she laughed.
He turned to her, snow peppering the wisps of hair floating around his glasses, "You know the basic snowball fight rules, yeah? Only two spells allowed, you can shield and you can make snowballs." Lily nodded, meeting his eyes. His breath caught, and for a split second he was actually distracted from their game. At least he was until Peter came barreling into the bushes behind them.
"Alright team, let's do this. We're at the disadvantage because Sirius already started making ammo. So Evans and Peter, you start on that, I'll scout." They nodded, and away he went.
Two hours later, both teams were completely exhausted. Lily never wanted to look at another snowball again. Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme. At the very least no more snowballs until next year. She was drenched, and chilled to the bone. All the boys were, so they decided to head up to the common room to warm up, except for Remus who was on kitchen duty today and made a quick detour to pick up some more hot chocolate and sweets for them all.
Settled around the fire, they made some slight small talk about the potions essay due Tuesday. Apparently Sirius didn't agree with the need to learn how to brew love potions, while Lily thought that understanding the practical theory was fine. Neither were willing to concede to the other, of course, so they bickered until Remus returned and shut them up with food. James watched Lily out of the corner of his eye. His heart kept up the steady thrumming rhythm it always had around her these days, as he took in the flush of her cheeks and beaming smile. She barely noticed his staring, caught up in her conversation.
She was too beautiful, that was it. It was impossible to not be consumed when the fire reflected in those captivating eyes, matching her passionate gleam. Peter nudged him, jolting him out of his reverie just in time for her to snap out of the conversation and try to include everyone else.
Lily turned to James, smiling, "Well, what do you think?"
"Ah…I just don't want to have to write the essay." He knew it sounded stupid, Merlin, how more childish could you get. But he'd only half been paying attention to the conversation, and didn't want to have to choose between his best mate and the girl he'd liked since fourth year. Damn. And now he looked like a prat in front of both. Just brilliant.
She laughed despite the stupid answer, taking a sip of hot chocolate, "That's just because it's potions. Now if it were a transfiguration essay…"
"It'd be done faster than a stag in mating season."
Sirius and Remus exchanged looks, but Peter just couldn't help himself and commented, "That doesn't make any sense, Prongs."
"Of course it does. It has some sense somewhere."
Lily giggled again, feeling childish for reacting like that, "Whatever you say, Potter." She patted him on the arm. The conversation switched gears after that, but James couldn't help replaying his bumble in his mind.
A few hours later, the others began to trickle up to bed. Sirius first, telling James that he'll wake him up for their morning run as long as James promises not to be too loud coming upstairs. Remus followed not long after, followed by Peter. Lily tried not to think too much about the fact that she and James were now alone. As in, completely alone, not even the first years that had lurked in the corner earlier were still awake. James rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"I'm not tired, are you?"
Lily shook her head, "Not really. " James nodded in response, falling quiet.
"I have a question," he finally said, looking up with a jerk as though he hadn't actually planned on talking, "Er, if you're willing to answer it. Which, you don't have to, because I know that even though we're friends we aren't best mates I guess, not to say I wouldn't enjoy being best mates, although I think Sirius might have a problem if I made you my best mate instead of him, and that would be an issue of course, but even though we're not best mates maybe we could talk about personal things, possibly, I mean we have been talking for a few months and—"
She interrupted him, "Merlin, Potter, stop rambling. Your question?"
"Oh. Yeah. Well," he paused, trying to figure out how to word it, "I heard you told the Gryffindor girls you liked someone. And I thought maybe, since you know I know a lot of the blokes here, maybe I could help?" He immediately internally winced, knowing how stupid that must sound. Or stalkerish. And if there was anything James Potter wasn't, it's a stalker.
Lily flushed, completely oblivious to his internal plight, "N-no thanks, Potter. I've got it under control."
"Oh. Okay." They fell into silence again.
Lily felt the need to fill it, to stop the awkwardness, "It's…thanks for the offer, though. It's just nothing serious," that was a bold-faced lie, "And I wasn't actually planning on telling anyone. It's not someone you know, don't worry," though her eyes said otherwise, "Just, well, I…let's talk about something else."
He nodded, changing the topic to the upcoming Quidditch match. Lily's face matched her hair, and she pulled her blanket tighter around her arms. It was so cliché. Of course he would ask her about her crush on HIM. Not that it mattered because even if he had been serious about asking her out those past years, which she doubted, he had given up awhile ago. She didn't notice his fallen face, or the way he held himself slightly cautiously. After almost an hour longer, they parted ways. The fire had begun to die down, and it was at least past midnight. Still, neither could sleep well that night.
It was a week after the incident, and neither had brought it up since. James had, of course talked with the other marauders about it. None of them had had a good suggestion though, besides to drop it and leave it.
Come Sunday morning, James and Sirius were out for their morning run. James didn't actually enjoy these runs, but as Quidditch captain, he had to stay in shape. Besides, they ran in their animagus forms. Running as a deer was a lot more fun than running as a human, any day. They were rounding around the lake, coming to the end of their third lap around the castle, when James spotted Lily. She was watching the sunrise, nestled on a large patch of clover and moss. Padfoot started his next round, leaving his friend to go talk to Lily. However, before James could change back into a human, Lily spotted him.
She clicked her teeth gently, trying to get him to come over. Arm outstretched hesitantly, she knew deer rarely came to humans but still figured it was worth a shot. Much to her surprise, he began to lope over to her. She bit her lip and cautiously petted his head. There were odd markings around its eyes, she noticed, and they reminded her of a certain crush she was trying to get rid of. How intriguing.
He nudged her hand, trying to get her to pet him. Lily laughed. What an odd creature. Still, she obliged, happy to interact with such a tame animal.
"And here they say the creatures in the Forbidden Forest are scary," she said, laughing again as he grunted in 'response'. Of course, after taking Care of Magical Creatures, she knew exactly what that forest could hold, but at least some of the animals were nice. Unless this was secretly an unseelie in disguise, but for some reason, she doubted it was. He felt comforting, almost like she knew him, though of course that was impossible. There was something oddly familiar about this animal, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was because he looked so much like James, but that seemed a bit of a stretch. Glasses markings did not a Potter make. She giggled again, unprompted this time.
"You look a bit like this guy I fancy," she explained after receiving what she thought was a curious look, "Looks like you've got glasses on." It wasn't like the stag could understand her, and she traced the marking gently, "Even got the same colored eyes."
He sniffed, bringing his head back to eye her in surprise. It couldn't possibly mean she liked him, right? No it must be some other bloke with his eye color and glasses. Once he was human again he could make a list.
"Don't act so surprised. I'm sure you're not him. Much prettier." Lily patted the stag's head, "And, I can actually say that without worrying about inflating your ego, unlike if I let him know how fit he is." She grinned. Sure, it was childish to talk to a deer, but it felt nice to finally let out her feelings.
She fell silent, though, knowing that someone might decide to come walking up to her. James decided to settle down beside her. Legs tucked up, he watched the sunrise with her as a deer, wishing he could be a human. After it finished, she kissed his head, and headed back up to the castle for breakfast.
As James sat down across from Remus, he blurted out, "What other blokes have my eye color and glasses?"
"Am I supposed to remember the eye color of every male at Hogwarts?" asked Remus, honestly unsurprised by his friend's odd question.
Peter thought for a moment, "Our age or younger?"
"Our age enough that it wouldn't be weird for Evans to fancy them."
Sirius laughed, "Check for glasses first, mate, but I wouldn't bet on Evans fancying someone who looks like you."
"She told me she did."
Remus nearly spit out his pumpkin juice, "she what?"
"Well, she told Prongs she did. Close enough."
Sirius laughed, "So that's what you were doing earlier, I thought you just gave up on our run. Instead you were chasing after her again."
"Shuddup. Someone might hear you. Anyway, blokes with my eyes and glasses."
"Start with glasses," Remus said, "And are you sure it's a bloke cause you never know, might be a bird."
James shook his head, "Lily doesn't like birds." And that was the end of that, "Let's make a list of all the blokes with glasses then check their eye colors." Well, it wasn't the strangest thing the Marauders had ever done.
Two days later, the list had narrowed down to three people. It was two if you didn't count Crabbe, which really, why would Lily fancy someone so elitist? Besides, he was a Slytherin, so James refused the possibility.
"Do you fancy McAlister?" James said as he sat himself down across from Lily at dinner that night.
"Who?"
Well that was slightly reassuring, "McAlister, Ravenclaw, sixth year, total prat."
"No?" Lily raised an eyebrow, "Why would you think I liked him, I don't even know him." She flushed though, unsure why he would bring this up, "Look, Potter, I know you're curious who I fancy, though for the love of Merlin I don't know why. But please, I'm trying to eat."
He frowned, sliding back over to the other marauders, "It's not McAlister."
"Who else is on the list then?" Remus asked, rolling his eyes.
"Er…just me." The Marauders fell silent.
Finally Sirius spoke, "Maybe you should let go of the whole not trying to ruin friendship thing and just ask her to Hogsmede. It's the last official visit of the year, and, well, maybe she'll say yes."
"Padfoot, you know I can't do that."
By now, though, Lily was listening in on their conversation. She was suspicious, of course, by the sudden question, and had moved within earshot so she could see why James had asked it. She flushed when she heard what Sirius had said, fingers curling tightly around her cup of pumpkin juice.
"Why not? Look, Prongs, if you're too chicken I can try to get someone to get it out of her. But man up and ask her out." Sirius continued.
Remus thought for a second before adding, "Even if it does make things awkward, you won't suddenly stop being friends. Especially if you do it properly."
"But what's the proper way to do it?" James was ready to hit his head on the table. None of the Marauders answered.
Lily had to break the silence, it was unbearable, so she blurted out, "None of the ways you asked in the past".
James froze, flushing. Mentally releasing a string of cusses, he gripped the table hard, "You, ah, you were listening in, eh? Heh. Erm…"
"Can we talk in private, Potter?" Even though Lily was as red as he was, if not redder, she knew this conversation could not happen in front of the other Maruaders. And as embarrassing as it may be, she knew that if they didn't talk about it, it would be worse.
He nodded, and got up. They headed out of the Great Hall and ducked into an empty classroom.
It was silent for a moment, but then they both started at once.
"So…" he began.
"Look Potter—no you go ahead."
"No you can."
It took her a second to talk again, "Yes."
"What?" James had the most endearing look of confusion on his face, and if it wasn't so infuriatingly not what she wanted to see she'd have adored it.
"Yes I was listening in. Yes it was you. Yes I'll go to bloody Hogsmede with you." James gaped as she continued ranting, "Though I don't know how you found out it was you in the first place and you're explaining that later and—" He cut her off with a kiss.
She started to push him back, to continue what she was saying, but he pulled her closer. After a second of mumbling random, quickly forgotten words against his lips, she gave in to the kiss. Her fingers curled on his chest as she kissed back. His hands flew up to cup her face, and she gasped, leaning into his touch. Their hearts were pounding, faces flushed. He kissed her again and again, unable to get enough. After years of waiting, he finally was able to do this, and he adored it. He loved it. He—he loved her. Or at least, he thought he did, in that instantaneous revelation, as sparks flew and lips pressed against each other. Maybe he didn't, but he could think harder later, when her lips weren't quite so distracting. Later he could say for certain, I, James Potter, love Lily Evans. Right now though, right now he was content to say I, James Potter, am kissing Lily Evans. If his world ended right there, that would be enough for him.