Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. If I did, Al would get to own a gazillion cats.
Warning: OOCness, and crack.
Havoc couldn't take it anymore, it was just too much if you asked him. And unfair too. He sat inside his apartment beside a table. He thought about how he could get his revenge on his superior. He could try to make a plan with Ed, but then again, since Hawkeye was here they couldn't do it. He knew she would never purposely try to kill them but just what if somehow he accidently got hit? No, he definitely didn't want to die.
As he was thinking this in a world quite different from his the evil plot bunny got inside an innocent little girl's head. She began to laugh a cruel, evil, lunatic (which by the way she was) like laugh. She picked up her notebook and pen and started to write. But something was wrong. She began to shake the pen furiously.
"Shit! I'm out of ink!" she said.
"But thankfully I have another pen."
She started to write but she failed once more.
"Gahh! This one's gone dry." Frustrated she made another one appear out of nowhere. She tested it to see if it worked. It did.
"Finally!" she said. She placed her pen upon the paper and stared to write Havoc's fate…
So anyways, back at Havoc's dorm something was happening. Suddenly a cloud of smoke filled the room.
Havoc stared to cough. What in the world? He thought. When the smoke cleared he saw Ed's dad in a... fluffy pink bathrobe? Havoc's mouth dropped to the floor.
What was going on here? He wondered. He had never seen Ed's dad but he knew it was him because he had a sign over his head that said 'I am Eddypoohs dad'
"Don't look at me like that! I was forced into doing this," he grumbled.
"By whom?" Havoc asked curiosity creeping into his mind.
"The sky," Hohenhiem said simply looking up to the ceiling.
"Who would call Ed Eddypoohs?" Havoc murmured shaking his head.
"Someone who's gone crazy of course," Hohenhiem replied like it was obvious.
After a thought Havoc said, "I guess you're right."
"By the way, I actually came here for a reason," Hohenhiem stated.
"Why?" Havoc said hoping, praying that Hohenhiem was there to help him with his revenge on Mustang.
"I have been ordered by the sky to show you the laptop, the world of the internet, and fanfiction to help you get revenge on Mustang. After all how dare he try to act like Ed's father? I'm his true father," Hohenheim declared angrily.
"Okay, then. I'm really glad for the help but what does a laptop, internet, and fanfiction mean?" Havoc questioned, confused as he had never heard those words before.
"It's future technology," Hohenheim answered.
"Future technology! I don't believe you. And anyways, if it is future technology, how did you get it?" Havoc asked.
"I already told you the sky gave it to me. And it would be wise if you didn't question it or else I won't help you anymore." Hohenheim said as he glared at him.
Havoc wanted to ask more but got the feeling that he shouldn't. Anyhow he didn't want to lose the only help he has. Or get put into a stupid fluffy pink bathrobe. "Okay. Just show me how the thing works." Havoc said, finally relenting.
"Okay then." Hohenheim said as he opened the laptop. "To turn it on or boot it up as they call it in the professional world you press this button…" and so that is how Havoc started to learn about fanfiction...
The Next Day
"Hey Mustang." Havoc greeted out smugly as he carried in his precious laptop.
"What's that your carrying, future technology?" Mustang asked sarcastically.
Havoc grinned which made Mustang a little uneasy. He got the feeling that he didn't have the upper-hand anymore for some unusually freaky reason. And he definitely didn't like it one bit.
"I have a little story I wanted to show you," Havoc said.
"Really?" Mustang asked trying to pretend he wasn't interested to cover up his unease.
"Yes. And I came across it accidentally. I wouldn't dare write something like that and leave it somewhere everyone can see. It's written by OccabotLover101." Havoc said setting his prize down on mustangs desk with the utmost care. "Read it."
Mustang came over to his desk and began to read. His mouth dropped reading the first couple sentences. This must be a bad dream their writing about, he told himself. As he read on he realized with a shock it wasn't a dream. He started to feel uncomfortable. Who in their right mind would have written something like that? He thought horrified. Why would they even think about it? If havoc showed it to anyone else in Central the news would spread like wildfire and he would never be able to go into public again! He went to a corner and started to cry. Havoc grinned.
Meanwhile Furey, Berda, and Falman had been watching with the utmost interest.
"Wow..." Furey said speechless.
"I've never seen mustang do that before." Berda commented, wondering what happened.
"Is that story really that bad?" Falman asked.
"Read it and find out if you're that interested." Havoc said with a wicked grin. So they began to read with fascination. Only to be horrified. Well at least Furey was. The rest of them was just, I guess you could say they were surprised.
"Wicked. Who wrote that?" Berda asked.
"Forget that! It's horrible! It's terrible! How could they write something like that! It doesn't even make sense!" Furey wailed.
"Well...now that you mention it, it does make sense!" Falman said brightly taking no notice of Furey whatsoever.
"Yeah. I always wonder what goes on Mustangs office when Ed rants on and on and on." Berda said.
"Hey I have some questions for you guys." Furey said to Berda and Falman. They gulped hoping it wasn't what they feared.
"It's about.…" Furey started. They gulped again. It was their worst fear. Havoc looked satisfied.
A door creaked and in came Ed and Riza. Riza's eyes darted over the in a warning but nobody paid attention. She was very surprised to see Mustang crying and raised her eyebrows in question. It didn't work. They just didn't pay attention. She was going to get her gun out in anger because they always paid attention when she did that. And today was an exception. This made her feel like the end the world was coming. She was steaming mad but then saw Havoc's face. He looked like he just won a lottery. He was the first to notice them.
"Lt. Hawkeye! Ed! You have to read this before you shoot." he said eagerly.
"Oh?" Riza said coldly, guessing that was the cause of the craziness.
"Is it about the bastard colonel?" Ed asked, amused to see mustang crying like that. He took a picture for blackmail.
"Yes it is. It about you and the colonel. Also don't kill me after you read it because I didn't write it OccabotLover101 did." Havoc said wide eyed, looking innocent all over.
"Yeah, yeah whatever." Ed said absentmindedly while shoving havoc out of the way in his haste to read the story. When he stared to read it though, his face got whiter and whiter. After he finished it he stood up shakily.
"Ed?" Havoc asked scared.
"I'm gonna kill you." he stated trembling. Then he started too roll on the ground continuously screaming, "ROYED STORIES ARE TORTURE!"
When Havoc heard this he hid under the desk in fear mumbling, "Please don't kill me."
Riza curious by what made Ed say that started reading as well. Her expression was the scariest. A funny look came over her face. Then she started to laugh like crazy. Can you imagine? The cold blooded Hawkeye laughing? The end of the world was surely coming.
With a sudden poof of air the laptop vanished from their world satisfied that it had done its work well. No one noticed they were too busy doing their own stuff.
It just so happened that Fuhrer Bradley had an appointment with the Colonel that day so when Mustang didn't come he decided to go to Mustang's office. It was only then that he heard the chaos. When he opened the door his face grew white with fear. There was Furey asking some very uncomfortable questions to Berda and Falman with interest, Havoc hiding under a desk paralyzed with fear, Roy Mustang crying in the corner like a baby, cold blooded Lt. Hawkeye laughing like she didn't care that none of them were doing their work, and Edward Elric screaming that royed stories were torture. Plus they didn't even salute him!
He slowly closed the door and walked out. What he saw frightened him very much.
"THE WORLDS COMING TO AN END PEOPLE! SAVE YOURSELVES!" he screamed as he tore down the hall.
"I think I'll see what's going on in there." Maes said to General Armstrong.
"I think I'll go with you." General Armstrong said happily.
Right after the Fuhrer left Riza shoot her gun and got the men to work again. Mustang still looked sad, Havoc was scared and a bit upset for the laptop while Ed kept sending him the death glare, Berda and Falman looked uncomfortable, and Furey still looked confused. It looked like an ordinary office to an ordinary person.
When Maes and Armstrong opened the door and took a peek that was what they saw. An ordinary office.
"Do you need anything?" Riza asked in a her ordinary calm and cool voice. Maes and Armstrong looked each other.
"Eh, ah, no." Maes said then continued, "The Fuhrer just ran by yelling that the end of the world was coming. Do you know anything about it?"
"No." she said pretending to be confused when she wasn't. She knew exactly why the Führer had been screaming crazy.
"Oh then we'll be going." Maes said. He closed the door then looked at Armstrong.
"Is that not dreadful!" Armstrong wailed.
"Yes how sad, our Fuhrer has gone crazy. Hope that the next one isn't." Maes said shaking his head.
-—-
Far away the evil plot bunny got of the girl's head. The girl realized what happened.
"Oh no! How dare you get inside my head, you evil plot bunny!" she said angrily.
"Hey! Cool it. We're supposed to be friends. I'm evil, you're evil. We're friends. Or at least that's what you said. Besides I was bored when I'm bored I'm evil," the evil plot bunny said.
"I guess you're right, evil plot bunny," the girl said after a while. The bunny brightened.
"Come let us laugh the evil laugh!" the bunny exclaimed linking hands with the girl. Then they laughed the evil laugh and they set out to create chaos in the worlds.
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