By Vincent 'The Vampire' Valentine
Families:
Family 1: Cian Cowley (Me)
Family 2: Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockheart
Family 3: Vincent Valentine, Lucrecia Crescent, Sephiroth Hojo
What a day! Woke up at 5 this morning, got dressed. Went to the corner of my room and harvested the fruit from the 'Frood' tree I bought a while back. I walked into the hall and went over to the fish tank and picked out a few exotic fish from my aquarium.
Went into the kitchen, made a roast that consisted of a shark, a tuna and a halibut. When I took it out of the oven hearts fumed from it. I took a few bites and my bladders went mad. I rushed into the toilet. Afterwards I went back into the kitchen and finished my meal. It was about 5:45 when I decided to get ready for work. I worked as a car salesman and I needed one more friend to get promoted to telemarketer. I called up my friend Tifa and invited her over.
'You are the light giving bulb in my living room of life, I will be right over, but do you mind if I bring over a friend?'
'Not at all, go ahead'
I prepared for the visit. I went over to my $500 dollar jukebox and put on the pop station. I danced to the music as I was quite bored.
Ding Dong
The doorbell rang.
'Tifa, Cloud, how are you? Come in'.
I spoke to Cloud for a while. Tifa took the liberty of lighting a fire. 'Tifa, come here for a second, I have a funny joke you'd like to hear'.
I told her the joke and she found it hilarious. I found myself closer to her for some reason.
Honk Honk
My carpool arrived.
'Listen guys I got to go, mind the house if you want'
'Ok see ya'
'Bye Cian'
I got in the car and set off for work. I came back at 4pm. Vincent Valentine was standing at the front door.
'Vincent, how's it going?'
'Fine and yourself'
'The usual, Cloud and Tifa were over this morning. Do you want to come in?'
'Yeah sure'
I went into the living room, took a book on mechanisms off the shelf. Went to sit in front of the fire. Sudden the carpet I was on caught fire and I was burned alive.
'AHHH SWEET GOD HELP ME, I'M DYING HELP ME'
I burned to the ground and came back as a spectral being, a ghost if you will. Since I was holding a book when I died the book became part of my soul.
Went around to the reaper. Done a fiddle contest with him. I lost.
'Fine take your fking $100' I yelled at him'
I was back as a human.
Back inside the living room the fire had burned down to ashes and where I had died now held a small urn. I moved it outside and set up a gravesite next to my fountain.
Oh yeah, the book I told you about earlier, it was still embedded in my hand, even while I'm still alive!
Anyway I went around the front of the fire to the bookshelf to try and put the book back, but as ironic as it gets the fire started on the carpet again and I caught fire. I burned to the ground again and came back as a ghost. I went out to see the reaper.
'Yeah, hey death. It happened again'
I paid him the $100 and went back in the house. For some reason there was another gravestone in the kitchen. I figured it must have been Vincent's. There was also a puddle of vomit next to it. I cleaned up the vomit and moved the gravestone outside to join mine.
Ding Dong
It was the doorbell. I answered the door, it was Betty Newbie from down the road.
'Hey Betty, come in'
She came in and went straight into the kitchen. She took something out of the fridge. Ate it, vomited, keeled over and died.
'No, this isn't fair, why does this keep happening to me, why, WHY?'
I got down on my knees. 'Damn you, damn you all to hell'.
True Story