Chapter 1
"So wait. If the changelings feed off of love, why don't they just act nice to get it?"
"Yeah, I agree. Of course that brothel idea seems as if it could work, I mean they CAN change into anypony and i'm su-"
"You two, shut. The fuck. Up."
"Calm down Red, honestly."
"I'll calm down when you two can it."
"He has a point, Red, you're awfully glum today."
The Taller Red Pegasus rolled his eyes and lowered his head onto the table. His recent life was fine, but he'd suffered the loss of a cousin last weekend and since then he'd been drowning his sorrow in drink. He just lay there a while before speaking his next sentence; "You two are ALWAYS attacking me about my attitude"
"That's because it's ALWAYS been a problem." The first of his friends replied. This colt was average sized, cute-looking, with a Turquoise coat and a parted dark blue mane, with a short tail of the same colour. The third friend, a taller, more muscular green stallion, with a naturally pink mane which he dyed Orange, along with his tail, spoke as well.
"You're ALWAYS dwelling on stuff, dude. We aren't perfect, but forget about your cousin." He said.
"Grass, he's my cousin. I don't have any other male relatives, how can I just forget?"
"I dunno Red, use the same tactic you forgot Willow with, that worked fine" Sky stated, referencing an old marefriend of Red's.
"Back off alright? She was a bitch."
"Red... Seriously, he had a good run considering he had terminal. Let it go. He died smiling and you can't say he didn't fight it." Grass said. Red sighed.
"Fine... I guess I have you two right?" He said. All three smiled.
"That depends Red, could you buy me a drink?" Sky said with a smirk.
"Buy your own fucking drink" Red smirked, he continued but Sky said exactly the same thing;
"What do I look like, a bank?" They both said. Red smiled.
"I love you guys." He said.
"Ahh, you cuddle?"
"Shut up Grass."
"I'd rather not. Say, can we visit your sister yet? You know she's hot as fuck right?" Grass rebutted.
"She has a stallion, and he's a doctor. Try beating that." Red contested.
"Ohh when I show her my enormous horse penis she'll come around." Sky and Red laugh.
"Grass, you couldn't charm a banana, I swear to god." Sky chuckled. Red grinned.
"Tonight's been better. I should head home now I suppose, have work tomorrow." Red sighed, standing up.
"Yeah, I better head off too." Sky agreed, leaving Grass.
"You two cuddlers scoot then, i'm gonna fish for that piece of flank over there" He said, pointing to a particularly curvy cream mare talking to a unicorn of Sky's colour.
"Should we tell him she fools?" Sky whispered to Red.
"Are you kidding?" He replied. They stood in the bar for a while and watched Grass swagger over to the mare before getting his face covered in her drink. They then laughed and made their way out, only to be interrupted by a purple, and clearly shattered, earth mare.
"Hey! You're that red shtallion!" She said to Red with a heavy lisp of drink.
"Well observed, miss."
"Oh my god Red, she's so pissed. She'll kill herself if she walks home."
"For fucks sake Sky, it's always about your cock with you and Grass isn't it?"
"Red, you say you don't cuddle, but you have banged a RECORD one mare in your life! You have absolutely no social life! You can't get on with anypony except me and grass, and you think wheels are cool. You need to get a grip, and bang her." Sky argued. Amazingly, all Berry did was smile at the conversation, she was toying herself with the idea of it.
"I don't need this. You bang her."
"Red, she's all over you!"
"She's drunk! I will NOT take advantage!"
"Oh, This again. You're more honest than us, aren't you? More 'mature'. You can be a real prick sometimes." Sky scolded. Red simply walked away, heading home for the night and leaving Sky and Berry by the bar.
"Sometimes I think sky was BORN retarded." Red muttered to himself before walking into his house, setting his alarm and tucking into bed. "At least it's Friday tomorrow..." He said, before falling into a deep sleep.
"Up! UP! Get up you lazy Burk!" The alarm on Red's side table rang with the same message continuously, waking him up abruptly. He rolled over in obvious discomfort and tapped the reset button, before looking at the time.
9:50.
"Nine fifty? Oh shit I'm late!" Red stuttered before dashing out of bed and downstairs, guzzling his favourite cereal in about 3 seconds, and rushing to his place of work. He was 20 minutes late, and his employer was vicious. He slipped inside and saw Sky, chuckling alongside another co-worker, looking at an unconscious Grass.
"Hey Red! He fell asleep at work!"
"Oh no way. Watch this." Red immediately jumped on the bandwagon and gripped the base of Grass' wings. Immediately he grew an erection.
"EW! Oh god, that's nasty!" Sky groaned, as he recoiled.
"You find it funny though." He smirked. Sky thought for a second before gripping Red's wings in the same location.
...
"Red, do you have a cock?"
"What? Of course I do!"
"Then why no raging erection?"
"You're doing it wrong."
"Oh..." Sky groaned. How could Red even know how that? "I swear you're gay Red."
"Stop saying that." He said, peeved.
"So why were you late?"
"My alarm broke. Did we have any shifts?"
"You're so lucky, we haven't yet. Looks like a quiet day today. Especially for green here" Sky said, laughing at his joke along with Red. Red decided to check the weather timetable.
Tuesday 3rd; No weatherponies needed, clear day.
"Oh my god. SKY!" He shouted. Sky rushed in and saw the tablet.
"Goddamit! I could have not bothered and stayed with Berry!" He said, angry.
"Woah, you slept with her?"
"Of course i did, you know I love purple. Don't you have a colour like that?"
"Yeah, Orange and yellow."
"So you dig Grass' Mane? So you're a coltcuddler?"
"Sky I swear to Celestia's sun i will rip off your limbs and shove them down your mouth if you don't stop with the gay thing!"
"Prove me wrong, Red."
"Alright, how?" Red asked, intrigued.
"Find a mare who looks like a mare, bang her and send me the tape to prove you enjoyed it."
"And you'll shut up about it? For good?"
"Yes."
"And it won't EVER go online, I'll have it back immediately?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I'll consider it." Red said. Sky smirked.
"What are we gonna do for the rest of the day?" He asked.
"I'm going back to Evah."
"Not that thing again, Red. Seriously I thought you'd given up on it. I Hoped, desperately and dearly, that I would never hear that name again." Sky said, disappointed. Evah stood for Enticing Vehicular Automotive Hobby, And it was Red's 3-year attempt to create a wheeled vehicle that moved itself. They already existed, but Red didn't like the fact that they only had 4 wheels, so he decided to up the game and give it a sum total of 22. It wasn't very fast, and it was heavy, but it looked cool, and had loads of moving parts. Red LOVED moving parts. Wheels of course, are moving parts.
"Well you hoped wrong. I'm telling you, nothing will be able to off-road like Evah."
"It runs on a belt!"
"They're called tracks. And so?"
"So inefficient! The friction! THE FRICTION!"
"You're complaining about efficiency when cars only exist in Manehattan, and they use a quarter of the energy of the fuel."
"...Shut up, Red."
"What are YOU spending your day on?"
"Berry"
"Jesus is she in heat?"
"Not entirely for sex, you idiot. Just eighty percent of it."
"Suuuuure." Red jested.
"You fuck colts, Red." Sky scolded.
"I don't though, so good try." Red said before spreading his wings and leaving sky alone, once again. He set flight and soared through the air before crashing into a blue thing and falling to the ground.
"Ahh! You idiot!" The blue mare curled up on the floor shouted at Red.
"Calm down, you flew into me"
"So? You should have moved! I'm the better flier! God!"
"You're that cocky one then, huh"
"Cocky? I'm not cocky! It's only cockiness when it's true!"
"Fine, whatever."
"There, see? At least you know when you're wrong."
"I'm Red."
"I'm Rainbow Dash!" She said, posing triumphantly.
"That's great, I better be off anyway." Red said, annoyed at her self-superior attitude, before flying off.
"Wait!" Dash cried, but he was too far away to hear."
~End~
You think RedOktober is back?
Nah, He can't finish his own thoughts, let alone stories.
I wouldn't give up hope just yet... Who knows, he might be trying to return.
Yeah, in your dreams.
...Red...