Moving On

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Everyday Hermione Granger sat for one hour in the café, The Kneazle's Snout, and drank two hot cups of coffee while gazing longingly at the empty seat in front of her, wishing more than ever he sat before her; flashing her the odd smile, conversing about the latest Potions article in The Ladle, making the occasional sarcastic comment and sharing a quip with each other. She missed so much the banter they went through with each other…the silence, when both had lulled out of the conversation, that was so comfortable it seemed as though they had been in each others company for years not months.

Tears would swim in her eyes and she would hide her face behind a book before the waitress, or anybody surrounding her, could ask her what was wrong. Truth is she really didn't know what was wrong anymore it was now ten years ago and still she wept. It is true that grieving a loss takes time but soon she felt she would have to move on - it wasn't healthy…wasn't normal to mourn for this amount of time, surely.

He had taken her here on Christmas Eve ten years ago, telling her it was his favourite café - a place where he could just think…he had been right - it was a charming place for one to sit in and simply watch as the lives of other rushed by. He was like that she had found, he just loved to observe others, see how they reacted to things - this was, she guessed how he had become such a good judge of character; he knew when people were lying to him, and knew how to act perfectly happy when something inside him was tearing him up.

This was what Hermione had found hardest to break him out of - his ability to mask what he was truly feeling…but she had done it eventually and he had stopped her being so logical thinking, he had taught her about the stars and told her tales of Fate which had meshed them together, according to him. Who knew that he, the snarky bad tempered, Potions Master, could have been fascinated by Astrology and Divination.

A sad smile played around her lips; she had known…she had known everything about him. Everything. He had let her in, she had shed light on all his darkness and he had returned the favour - teaching her that sometimes silence was just as comforting as having someone whisper words of calm to soothe you. Had had also snapped at her on more than one occasion for knowing more than he on a subject, at which points she would stick her tongue out playfully and kiss him - making him melt into her arms and whisper he was sorry.

Hermione drained the last of her first cup of caffeine and signalled for the waitress to bring another over, the woman complied and bought her over a steaming hot cup of thick black coffee - just how he used to drink it. Hermione knew all the staff in there thought her to mad, her first cup of coffee would have lashings of milk in it and sugar but her second cup was syrupy and dark ebony. A cup for each of them. Just like the old days…when, when times were happier.

Raising her cotton handkerchief to her eyes Hermione dabbed before the tears that were threatening to fall tumbled from her deadened eyes - she had not shown emotion for so long. At first pain and grief was evident, always there shining like a beacon in her hazel orbs but now, now there was nothing - nothing.

Quickly drinking down the last of the coffee Hermione stood to leave when her stomach rumbled quietly. It would go against all of her routine and against everything she had done for the past decade and yet…it felt the right thing to do. Sitting down she caught the eye of the waitress who looked shocked that Hermione was asking for anything else, the silent woman never usually stopped the waitress more than twice.

'A Pumpkin Pasty, please.' smiled Hermione. It felt odd, alien almost to feel her features twist into such a wide and open show of happiness

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He watched as she smiled, he wanted to reach out; to touch her; to tell her everything was alright and that mourning for him simply broke his heart - he wanted to see his beloved smiling and laughing as used to. He didn't want her to be the mourning widow.

He was always watching her, knew that she had felt his loss deeply perhaps as much as he felt for her…he sat day after day opposite her, wanting, yearning to lean over and tuck the stray hairs, which fell into her eyes, away from her line of vision. He craved to make her laugh with one of his little comments and had to resist the urge strongly not to wrap his arm around her waist as she left the café, avoiding everyone's watchful gaze.

No, this could go on no longer he wanted to pass on - to reach the other side and yet, he could not bear to leave her in such a heavy condition of depression. Standing silently from his chair, unseen by her eyes, he placed both hand upon her shoulders, he felt her shudder, yet she leant back her head and rested it against his invisible chest.

'Severus?' she whispered under her breath, he smiled, she had not said his name for so long and it felt so good to hear it ring for her lips, like the sound of hope.

'I love you, but I have to move…as do you.' and with that he heard her murmur the words 'I love you too.'

He was gone and she was finally alone. Hermione knew this, she knew no longer was he with her and tears fell freely from her eyes - she made no attempt to stop nor hide them. I t felt good, good to cry in front of people she felt that her weight was being uplifted…felt as though she had been freed of so much.

Yes, she was finally moving on.

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters featured in this fic, I do however own The Kneazle's Snout.

Dedication: Sian-um. My loverly friend.

Review please.

Tasha x