Angels Calling
Catherine stood looking out over the crowded room, studying the faces of everyone momentarily. Most of those who had attended she recognised. She was touched by the amount of people from the PD who had come. She knew he was well respected at work but it still slightly surprised her to realise just how far that respect stretched. As her eyes scanned the crowd they finally found the person they had been searching for. Sara sat in the second row, eyes downcast. Catherine knew she probably hadn't heard a word that had been said throughout the service. She also knew that would change the moment she started to speak.
"I know you're probably all expecting me to give some big emotional speech about what a great guy he was…" She trailed off for a moment, unable to bring herself to say his name. It only made this whole thing all the more real. But she steadied herself quickly, reminding herself that she had one last favour to do for her long time friend.
Taking a deep breath she continued, "….but I think we all know he wouldn't be entirely comfortable with that. One thing was for sure, he was modest. That's not why I'm up here. I'm here because he wanted me to pass on a message to someone that was very special to him."
Sara's eyes lifted at this and Catherine smiled, giving her a brief nod before continuing. "He never was very good at putting his feelings into his own words so he chose to rely on the words of a song that he thought best described them."
Catherine turned and gave a nod to Greg who was situated beside the sound system. No more words were necessary. Catherine was confident that Sara knew the message was directed at her. On cue Greg slipped the CD into the system and hit play. A moment later the sound of the heartfelt ballad filled the room.
You and I, we were one
And I swore I'd stay forever
But they say all good things come to and end – my friend.
Now it's time to move on but don't think that this is easy
Cause it's hard to be leaving you behind
But you'll be fine
Tears welled in Sara's eyes and the song's words circled her heart. Images of his smiling face suddenly flashed through her mind. She smiled through her tears as she thought back to times she'd spent with him, flirting and teasing playfully as they analysed crime scenes. The sound of his laughter filled her ears as silent tears slid slowly over her smooth skin.
Oh, so if you believe,
Say a prayer for me
I won't be here tomorrow
Somewhere I gotta be
Things you want to say
Save them for another day
Cause I can hear the Angels calling
Angels calling for me.
She thought back to the times he'd been there for her, holding her hand while she cried and in that moment she swore she could almost feels his fingers entwining with hers. The words of the song echoed in her head and a tight pain gripped her chest as she remembered the promise he had made to her. "No matter what Sara I'll always be here for you. I'm not going anywhere." But he had lied. Not intentionally she knew but she felt angry all the same. She had opened up to him. Told him stories about her past and her time spent moving between different foster homes as a child. He had listened to her cry as she told of the feeling of abandonment that she felt time and time again as the people who matter most to her continued to leave her. He had promised never to do that. But he had.
Does it help if I say
That I'm really truly sorry
And that I never meant for it to end – this way.
No, she thought to herself. No it doesn't help. I need you here. I need you next to me. I need you to tell me this is all a bad dream and that everything is going to be ok. I need you so much. Please don't leave me.
There's a place in your heart
Where you know you'll always find me
And I'll be with you wherever you are
Near or far.
Sara's jaw dropped as the words of the song seemed to read her mind. Then she smiled. Of course they did. He knew what she would be thinking. He knew her.
A fresh wave of tears struck Sara then as she finally understood the message that was being delivered through the song's lyrics. He was telling her that she would be ok. That although he had to go, a part of him would always be with her. And so he wasn't leaving her. Not really. Her fingers absently grasped the silver chain she wore around her neck. He had given it to her when she had visited him at the hospital the week before. She would treasure it always.
The rest of the congregation began to stand as the dark oak casket was carried down the aisle in the centre of the room. She followed it with her eyes but she made no move to stand. The music continued to play as people began to file out of the church.
Oh, so if you believe
Say a prayer for me
I won't be here tomorrow
Somewhere I gotta be
Things you want to say
Save them for another day
Cause I can hear the Angels calling
Angels calling for me
Slowly she stood and wrapped her arms around herself as she watched the casket being carried away. She allowed the rest of her colleagues to leave before her while she savoured every word of the song that was playing just for her.
Oh so if you believe
Say a prayer for me
I won't be here tomorrow
Somewhere I gotta be
Things you want to say
Save them for another day
Cause I can here the Angels calling
Angels calling for me.
As the last of the crowd filtered out of the church, Sara felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders. She turned to face the person beside her and smiled.
"He loved you very much, you know that? Almost as much as I do." He smiled down at her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
He lifted his hand to brush a stray hair away from her face and as he did Sara caught a glimpse of the ring on his finger. She still found it hard to believe it was really there. He often caught her gazing at it, her eyes sparkling. If he ever had any doubt that she was happy, those moments quashed it.
"I know." She replied, smiling. "I have so much to thank him for. He was my best friend. He brought us together and I'll never stop being grateful for that."
He smiled down at his wife, "Come on, let's go."
As they were leaving the church Sara glanced over to where the coffin was being lowered into the ground.
"You want to go over?" He asked, gently stroking his wife's hair.
"No." She replied softly, "There's no need. It's just a box. He's not in there. Not really."
He understood what she meant. He slipped his arms around her waist as the last tear made its way over her cheek.
Grissom took her hand and together they left the church. As she allowed her husband to lead her away Sara smiled to herself, knowing that no-one at the lab would ever forget the man who for the last five years had been the brother she never had.
"Goodbye Nicky." She whispered. "Thank you."
You and I, we were one
And I swore I'd stay forever
But they say all good things come to an end.
The End
A/N – Ok hands up, how many of you thought I was talking about Grissom? Well the story was originally going to be about him but I got half way through and I just couldn't do it. It was hard enough killing Nicky. Anyway the song is "Angels Calling" by Rooster. Let me know what you think.