Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Sequel to "What Kind Of Quidditch and Broomsticks".

Remus

James

Lily

Sirius

"James. Remus."

"Sirius."

"Sirius."

"I want you guys to do something for me."

"What is it, Pads?"

"I have a... problem."

"Go on..."

"I need you to help me, er, make the problem, how do I say this? Smaller..."

"Oh. It's that problem."

"Yeah. Will you guys do it?"

"The three of us?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?

"Um, Pads, you see, Remmy and I don't... do stuff like that."

"And why not?"

"We're not bloody girls you know? Find someone who actually cares."

"And who may that be?"

"Evans?"

"No, not her. Maybe Marlene McKinnon. You guys sort of have that friends-with-benefits thing going on, she'll feel more comfortable aiding... that."

"But I want you guys to do it!"

"Nope, sorry, you're on your own. By the way, why the three of us? Get Prongs, he's the consoler, helper and more charismatic of the group, your best friend and the youngest..."

"Oi, I resent that! Besides, what does consoling and charisma have to do with your problem? Besides, I'm not the 'consoler, helper and more charismatic' of the group."

"Believe it or not, Prongs. You are. Now if you don't go upstairs I'm going to drag you, even if you go up screaming and kicking."

"No."

"No?"

"No. Besides, you didn't answer my question. It was valid, you know."

"Very well, then. I'm just going to-"

SLAP!

"Evans, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"I heard you guys... talking."

"So?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SO'? YOU GUYS ARE PIGS!"

"Evans, we don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about."

"Yeah, Evans. I'm your boyfriend. Can I say something here? WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?"

"You guys were about to have... it. Maybe not Remus, but you two!"

"Um, define, 'it'?"

"Dude, I think she means 'shag'."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What the heck? You nearly made me die of shock!"

"Haha, listen, Evans. I also experienced this yesterday. Yesterday, Sirius tried to persuade James to play with a jinxed broomstick, which will eventually let Padfoot win. Prongs, here, refused and I got the wrong idea. So, right now, it's just so funny watching this unfold before my very eyes..."

"So what were you guys really trying to do?"

"Remember that incident when you accidentally saw Sirius transform to a dog? The day before yesterday, if I am not mistaken."

"Yeah?"

"Well, Prongs took Sirius in his dog form to the park, and he caught some fleas. Me and Prongs don't want to get them off him."

"Oh..."

"Evans?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be willing to comb the fleas off me while I'm in dog form?"

"NO!"

"... Meanie."

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