Is He To Know?
This isn't your typical poetry. And it ain't your typical slash either. Let's put it that way and leave it at that. Read with an open mind. Or try to.
No, your eyes dost not decieve-eth thee.
OK, people, place your bets on what pairing you think this is (without looking at the end). Go on, place them now. If you guess correctly, I'll send you $40! (Cheques will not be copyrighted. I'm sorry, but you can't copyright a cheque.)
Disclaimer: I don't own SpongeBob, nor MermaidMan (note I spell it with a capital M in Man. I'm pedantic like that. What can I say?).
Band8PGeek.
Tell me.
Is he to know in advance
about your love for him?
Is he to know
the reason behind those subtle flirts
you make behind the cash register
whenever he comes in
for a Krabby Patty?
Is he also to know
about the affectionate names
you call him behind his back;
Big Nose, Elephant Man
and Licks-Lips-and-Shudders
to name but a few?
What about
all those times you've sketched his name
intertwined with yours
on the huge oak tree
at the back of the Krusty Krab?
And those clarinet solos
you dedicate solely to him,
even the one that you promised
would be played in honour
of SpongeBob's best day ever
(that hurt SpongeBob worse, you know)?
Are you gonna tell him
about the, ahem,
orgasmatic lust noises
coming out of your house at night
(don't deny it;
everyone in Bikini Bottom heard them)?
OK, I admit,
I think he's already found out
about that poor innocent individual
you grilled into sending him
an anonymous Valentine's card
that plays Aude Lang Syne
when it's opened;
but that shrine
in your bedroom
is still a secret.
Isn't it?
Just tell me, Squidward.
Is BarnacleBoy to know in advance
about your love for him?
Or will you kiss
him senseless first
and then tell him?