Because You're Here
His heart beats. He can hear hers heartbeat, too. But she doesn't believe that she has one. That's impossible though. If she didn't have a heart, how is she able to breathe? How is she able to love? How is she able to have a son . . .
Why did this happen? Better question: why did this happen to her? Because she was weak: the night when it happened. Since that happened, this happened. That's the reason why she's here. With a baby sleeping on her chest. He only cried once, when he was gasping for air for the first time. But now he's quiet, thank goodness. She doesn't want to hear him cry. It's too much to take in: the pain, the heartache, the fact that he's her son. She looks down at his hair: pitch-black. She looks at his skin: pure white. She takes two of her fingers and lets one of his hands grab them. The color green intertwines with the little white fist. He squeezes them with all his strength, it's kinda cute. But she gently pulls them away before he could squeeze them any harder. The green woman lies back on her pillow. She's been trying to rest, but the nurse insisted that she should hold her newborn so that they have a mother and son bonding time. Oh, sure. They're truly bonding. Besides, he's asleep. He's been asleep since he was cleaned off. The beating of her heart is his lullaby. She tries to get comfortable.
"You're rather quiet, aren't you? Yeah, so was I. You know, getting in this world isn't easy. It's quite painful in my point of view," She sighs, "Look, believe or not, I'm a witch: a wicked witch who is hated by all because I'm . . . Well, different. I didn't ask for this and neither did you. It's not your fault you're here: you're only an infant. But it is what it is and we can't change it. We can wish, but nothing will happen," She looks down at the baby's face: his eyes are closes and he was breathing softly. She smirks, "You look a lot like your father; he was a good looking guy too. I bet you have his eyes. Babies start off with blue eyes and change color, but yours will stay blue. I know they will. You have my nose though, and my chin. Still, you remind me of Fiyero; that was your father's name. He was something: annoying at first, but at the end Fiyero was sweet and kind. He was the only one who loved me for who I was. The only one who actually cared about me. I wish he was here," She shakes the thought out of her head, "Anyway, this was just a mistake and as cruel and careless as it sounds, I . . . I-"
Before she could finish, the door swings open and a nurse walks in with a bottle in her right hand and some towel over her left arm. The green only turns her head so that she doesn't wake up the baby.
"Good evening, Miss Elphaba," the nurse set down the supplies right next to the bed, "Is he still asleep?"
"Yes, and I like to keep it that way."
The old woman laughs, "Oh, my dear. You'll have to feed him soon."
"Me?"
"Mm-hmm. I have a bottle of milk right here whenever he wants it. Fresh from the cow, too."
The green witch, Elphaba, isn't in the mood to feed her son. Come to think of it, she's NEVER in the mood to feed a baby. She doesn't even know how!
"Can't you feed him?"
"I'm so sorry, dearie, but I have my duties around the mauntery."
"Of course," Elphaba mumbles.
"I'll be right back with the birth certificate. Maybe until then, you can think of a name."
"But I-" the nurse leaves the room, shutting the door behind her, "can't keep him."
At that moment, the baby starts to moves in her arms. Soon, he starts crying. Oh, great. He's up! Elphaba hoped he would sleep for a little longer. Now what? Her eyes spot the bottle next to her. The nurse did say he needed to be fed, but that mean she has to feed him. Then again, she can't stand the crying. So, she grabs the bottle and offers the nozzle to her son, who immediately stops crying and starts drinking the milk. Elphaba sighs in relief for finally the baby stops crying.
"I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm not a mother. I can't be. He's going to grow up hating me just like everyone else in Oz. Not to mention, it's my fault Fiyero's dead: if it weren't for me, nothing of this would have happened. But it did. All because of me. At least this child isn't cursed with green skin, thank goodness. I don't even have a name for him." Just then, the baby starts fussing, pushing away his bottle. Elphaba sets the infant on her shoulder and starts patting his back, not knowing what to do. The baby starts crying again. "I don't know what you want. How am I supposed to-" All of a sudden, the baby lets out a burp. Of course, after a baby eats, it has to be burped. He rubs his head on her shoulder as somewhat of a thank you. Elphaba looks at him for a few second. She almost smiled, but the though goes away. "No, no! I can't." She holds him in front of her, keeping him away from her trying to hold him correctly. "It's too much."
Finally, the baby wakes up. He gives a great big yawn and rubs his eyes open. Elphaba brings the baby closer so that she can examine his eyes: they're the same sapphire blue as Fiyero's. Then, the infant holds his arms up to Elphaba's chin feeling her green skin. He starts cooing happily. She can't believe it. He's not screaming or crying like she imagined, instead he's laughing and smiling. Elphaba, for once, smiles back and lets the tears in her eyes fall down her cheek. She holds him close and cradles him in her arms. "I was wrong: you too accept me . . . just like your father," She kisses him on the forehead. Now came the hard part: giving her son a name.
"I don't know what to call you. You're such a Liir-Uh, I mean little one," Suddenly, she thinks for a moment. "Liir? Who knows where that came from," She looks down at her son, who is cooing at the name. He seems to like. "Well, if you like it, I like it, too." The baby, now named Liir cuddles close to his mother's chest, curling up to her warmth. She embraces him with her love that she had deep down in her heart. Guess she does have one after all.
"Because you're here . . . I'm blessed."