"I've never been so scared in my life before…"
Kim whispered as she shakily sat on the end of her hospital bed, awaiting the new
results of her blood test not taking so long ago.
"Kim …?" Grace softly laid her hand to rest on the shoulder and her quivering best
friend. She too was scared for her best friend but she couldn't show it, not now,
not here. She needed to be strong for Kim because she was all she had at this point.
The two girls were patiently, a less than eagerly waiting for the blood test response
the doctor had taken to determine and track Kim's fast paste growing tumor that
she had been diagnosed with not only 2 months ago, she had told no one except
Grace and those of her family.
Kim's head snapped up when she heard he dearest friends voice.
"Grace what if I-"
"Ms. Kimberly Crawford? I have your dialysis results right here for you." The
doctor had waltzed in with a very complicated yet understandable, for her, sheet of
results. Kim and Grace looked at each other while Kim grabbed Grace's hand for
support nor did she hesitate to squeeze it in the process.
"Okay Doc. let me hear it."
"Alright Kimberly, your blood count is good, acceptable. We also were able to find
the location of your tumor. Right there." The doctor reached out with her pen and
pointed to a specific area of Kim's body, but Kim's eyes did not move an inch
from the doctors own. "Right on the far side of your left lung, but it's dangerously
close to your heart. Now, the surgeons also looked at it's location and suggested
that we wait until it grows to a specific size in order to remove it without damaging
any important vitals that have to do with the work of your heart." The doctor
paused for bit to make sure Kim understood all this and also not to over whelm her.
Kim nodded signaling the doctor to carry on.
"You will have to stay here for a week for us to keep a very close target on that
tumor and in case it diverts to another portion of your body or if it gets any closer
to your heart. Kimberly, I do not want to scare you but a procedure like this only
been done once before." Grace looked at the doctor in shock, then to Kim who was
frozen, but then back to the doctor.
"But that person lived, right?" the doctor wasted no time in responding.
"Yes yes of course, but he just lives with a few heart complications. But to be fair,
his tumor was closer to his heart than yours is by about 5 inches. That's a
ginormous amount when it comes to measuring a tumor. "You could practically
hear the girls let out a breath after that. But it still wasn't enough reassurance for
Kim.
"So that means I'll live without all those complications if you get to it fast
enough?"
"Yes. I make no promises; it's all in the hands of our surgeons. But yes." After
giving Kim a recurring smile, the doctor walked out towards her next patient.
The girls were quiet, not sure of what to say to each other at this moment in time.
Grace cleared her throat; the silence was a bit too much for her. "So… tell me
what's going on in that little head of yours."
Kim sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know.. I guess I'm worried. That
was a lot to take in. Grace what if I don't make it ?!"
"Kim the doctor said that-"
"I haven't even told my friends what going on."
"Well maybe you should I mean it would be-"
"I haven't even told Jack!"
"KIM! Listen to me!" Grace grabbed her best friend shoulders to finally get her
attention from her delusional rant. "You just need to calm down. You will make it
trust me."
"I guess I mean…" Kim got up, suddenly needing to walk around. She walked
over to the window, holding her arms, and looked out over at Seaford.
"Kim if you really do feel bad able this, then maybe you should tell your friends.
Tell Jack also, tell him everything."
Grace emphasized on the last word of her sentence, and Kim knew exactly what
she was talking about. Grace meant for her to tell Jack how she felt about him.
How much she loved him, cared for him, and wished he was hers.
"Grace I can't … Didn't you hear the doctor? I going to be stuck in here all week
and then get the surgery right after.
"Oh right… Hm. Here's an easy way to tell him everything. Write him a letter, it's
an easy thing to do, he will know and you won't have to say it. Express deeply how
you feel and everything will go fine. You'll be more … relaxed." Kim nodded
letting everything settle into her over loaded brain.
"You're right and if he rejects me"
"He's not going to reject you-"
"Then I won't have to see it. You know?"
Grace shrugged since her friend wasn't listening to her anyway. "I guess so.. You
have all week."
Seven Days Later…
"Alright I'm ready." Kim stated as she was all ready and dressed for her surgery;
Grace was standing by her side, as always, waiting for the surgeons to call her in.
"And the letter?"
Kim took a deep breath. "It's on its way to Jack's house." Grace nodded and
smiled as she didn't have time to respond because the surgeons had come in to take
her into the operating room. Grace sat right outside and waited and waited. Trying
to stay calm but only getting anxious by the moment.
MEANWHILE. . .
"Jack ? Can you go get the mail I'm kind of busy!" Jack's mom screamed through
the house from the kitchen where she was busily preparing her very "creative"
meal.
Jack leisurely walked outside into the slight breeze as he strolled over to the
mailbox. He opened and saw nothing yet, but saw the mail man walking over to
him, just in time.
"Any mail for me?" the mail man looked through his bags full of mail.
"Ah yes here we go. This one's for you." The mail man easily handed over the one
letter and carried on. Jack read the front.
"Here it's Kim.. haven't heard from her in a while." And it was true, Kim is his
bestest friend but he hasn't seen or heard from her in a while. He opened the letter
getting more and more curious.
It explained how she was diagnosed with cancer two months ago and how she was
having her operation today. She apologized for not telling anyone, especially him.
And here, at the very bottom on the letter, written neatly on that piece of paper is
what he read:
I'm not who I used to be
I'm trying to be a different soul, different from what I used to be
Maybe so that you will see just how much you mean to me
And how much, for you, that I've changed.
I am set free,
Free from all the pain I've gained.
My life is set new again; All because of your love for me.
It hurts when I'm apart from you.
Anything I will do for you, every day I will love more of you.
All until we say 'I do'
All cause of the life you've given me.
I can't explain what it takes… to keep you mine from day to day.
Frustrated, I write this song.
Maybe to show that I was wrong
I need you; you're my morning song.
Having you smile keeps me through the day
Making you laugh takes me all the way
You're happiness will always be mine; our hearts are intertwined.
The day you leave is the day I die
My heart won't survive the tears that I'll cry.
You love me and I'll love again, all with my dying breath.
I'll be redeemed through love and there'll be nothing to solve.
Your world has come into my heart.
Because I've changed,
I won't let anything in this world keep us apart….