Who Would Win?
A joint fic by Pandora Silk and Phoenix1001
"How dare you!" Harry Potter shouted angrily. "I'll have you know that at thirteen, I became the youngest person to have ever learnt the Patronus charm!"
"Oh, give it a rest, Potter. I know all kinds of... Dark... magic," a sneering Severus Snape silkily said, his eyes glittering maliciously.
"So what?" Harry scoffed. "I've got Voldemort's soul inside of me, you old Dungeon bat!"
Whipping out his wand, Severus pointed it between Harry's non-bushy eyebrows and said, "Lucy... er, Lucius, I mean... has taught me all kinds of Dark spells, pipsqueak."
"Oh, I'm so scared," Harry mocked, rolling his emerald-green eyes, which resembled his mother's, Lily, whose eyes were as green as a lush carpet of rolling grass.
Jagged flashes of lightning lit up the star-speckled, midnight-black, inky-dark sky in an eerie glow. Both student and professor felt shivers of apprehension dance up their spines as the sky lit up with the Dark Mark.
Suddenly, the Dark Lord Voldemort appeared, his blood-red eyes glowing in the dark.
"Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I can eviscerate the both of you with a single AK!" he said with a deeply evil, blood-curdling cackle.
Snape, crossing his arms against his skinny chest, glared at his small, dark, messy-haired, emerald-eyed, bespectacled nemesis and said, "This is all your fault, Pothead!"
Harry, who had clutched his now angrily red lightning-bolt scar with clammy hands, fell to the ground screaming in pain that felt like a thousand needles puncturing his already scar-riddled thin frame (thanks to the Dursleys' "ever-so-loving care"), angrily snapped, "Shut up, you greasy, oily, clumpy haired Snivellus and do something already!"
Snape lifted a very dark eyebrow that reached to said greasy hair which clung to his clammy, pale, sour-milk coloured forehead and sneeringly snarled, "Oh, quit whining like a baby, Potter!" before delivering a swift kick to Harry's thin, bony frame.
"Give it a rest, you skinny, smelly, slimy, snake-ish Slytherin!" Harry replied through gritted teeth.
"Better than being a – " Snape started, his eyes, darkened in smouldering anger, flashing dangerously.
"Enough!" bellowed Voldemort, stalking off in the other direction to meet one of his Dark-hooded, arse-licking Death Eaters, Goyle.
"Master," he snivelled as he bent before the Dark Lord's flowing robes to kiss Voldie's smelly, jam-filled, shrivelled toes. "Did you take care of the back-stabbing traitor Snape and the skinny, four-eyed, Horcrux-encasing Saviour-of-the-Wizarding-World Potter?"
"No need, Goyle," Voldemort hissed, pointing behind him. Purring silkily, he finished, "I'm just going to wait until they kill each other..."
Fin.