Hell was evil in the shadows. Why was it that the craving and capture of sin was so satisfying? It was to be free in these sins that persuaded people into doing them. Forgiveness is important, but when you can't forgive yourself you let the epitome of your sin stick with you. Forever…
Nero sat on top of the cross halfway imbedded into the church glass. He did so with one knee up. The cross in the glass was lesser in true power compared to the cross standing on the roof. While also far glorious than the two crosses on the front doors below. But at all of them he was biggest symbol of symbolic hope.
It was night and the sky was a dark blue, clouds were around, all colored bluish grey. The stars shined twinkling but Nero's attention wasn't on them. The glass imbedded by the cross he sat on was a blue, it was a stain glass, which was stained by Nero's presence. One that relayed a series of patterns. Patterns that were less complicated to the thoughts going on inside of Nero's exhausted and stressful mind. One where the key pattern was a singular memory of pain.
The moon in front of the church, in front of Nero, shined through the glass. The inside of the church now had blue god rays shining down into a spotlight with black shadows separating the pieces of light. Behind the spot light within the dark were people on their knees praying up at Nero. Prayers that had hope, hope he didn't have recently, prayers that were known by him but he ignored recently, and prayers that he didn't believe God wanted him to do anymore. To them he was a black silhouette behind the glass.
And the patterns that came with it were comparable memories to his old life that did conquering best to allow him to stay in his usual character. A role in which he now broke by frowning and tears that sparkled a glare thanks to the moon. He notices how the light shines through the glass, he used to think he shined like that by God, and that the pattern was a representation of his deeds, one that people looked at with speechless lips. Only now he realized that was that he was another test of God. That God got tired of helping people out through him, and that he wanted the people to stay faithful and have hope without him, to see if they could tolerate and accept life itself.
"Heh." Nero sighs out in a charmingly smooth matter he usually does as always. He had remembered something. "Other day some priest asked me if I wanted to be a priest. I told him who's gonna take my place. Kanye West? I don't think he'd fight demons with any weapons. Probably diss tracks." Nero said cheering up. His eyes shedding their last tears. Nero got up and stood at the city ahead. They may have been far, but to get them it took motivation. Guess that's what made Nero the best. Because his motivation goes as far as he travels. Beside him.
"Oh man I can't believe people still pray at this time. I know what I'm paying for, Roblox gift cards." Nero joked lightly. He may make jokes about religion. That doesn't mean the religion leaves him when the religion jokes leave his comedic mouth. Nero jumped off the church cross, pouncing on a street light then hopping off in a sprint.
"Wait Nero!" A priest calls out from behind. Nero keeps running. "Nero please!" The priest begs. Nero stops and jogs back. The priest is a familiar one. Father Crazz. One who was grinning a grin of relief. As Nero jogged over to the priest he felt wind brushing against him.
"Lemme guess you're gonna ask me to handle something for you." Nero states in a bored uninterested tone. The priest smiles a weak smile. Nero often did jobs for the church. Such as slaying demons and such.
"No my son, I simply come to tell you that God is with you." The Crazz said in a faint voice.
"The force is with you too pal, one day I'll master it and become a Jedi master!" Nero shouts. The priest knew Nero had just spent his time crying by his partially glossy eyes.
"Have you been crying my son?" Crazz changes the subject. Nero slowly frowns at this. For a few seconds he stars at the priest while unaware of how to respond. But he remembers a past belief he used to believe.
"Devils never cry." Nero states.
"A devil may never cry, but a human may too cry. It's ok to be hurt. You're not a devil so stop saying devils never cry. You're not human either. You're mixed. You don't deny your will to good through violence thanks to your devil side. But as a human you should accept your light emotions. Cry once in a while. Because a devil will not cry. But a devil like you may." The priest explained deeply. Everyone weren't praying in the hopes of Nero saving them once again right now. They were praying to God to give Father Crazz enough ability to help Nero.
"What if I told you I'm Vatican spy." Nero joked.
"What!?" Crazz responded shocked.
"I'm joking, anyway I don't really talk about my problems. I just walk with it until it's gone." Nero revealed. The priest chuckled.
"Do you wish to share what's the problem? I'm not a judge. I won't mind. You can let it all out. Because if you don't you'll sit with it alone. Something you may choose over relief in the idea of devils never cry and never feel pain. We've all known you've been hurting ever since we met you. After each battle you have a torn look on your face. Or get quiet. Or sound different. We see this sacrifice in your idea to portray that helping them isn't hurting you for their mental wellness. Now you have a new problem. Do a new thing too by admitting it. You can't absolve sin unless you're admission of it is given. " Crazz assured.
Hell made those who believed they were guilty, believe they were extremely guilty when they mostly weren't. For many things such as feeling your devil side is evil and will result in hell. Or fearing that your actions were to unholy to be forgiven. Or that you'd face hell due to your violence on a daily basis. That's why Nero never admitted sin, he believed he would go to hell no matter what. But right now, he obviously wasn't going to pass the opportunity to skip those thoughts for the ability to be forgiven for once in his life.
"Well… I had a brother in law and he died, then my uncle and father are gone forever after I just realized I was blood related to them." Nero started he took a loud inhale. Then exhaled calmly. "Then my wife divorced me. I lost everyone. I thought I was fine about it, and I was then I saw some kid die during my last trip. And I watched as some father clutched his lifeless blood pouring body weeping. He looked at me and whispered he had already lost his daughter. It stuck with me man." Nero went on further after a sniff. "I can't get it outta my head. I had a nightmare about it. And it was my fault!" Nero said now tearing up.
"No. It's n –" Crazz was cut off.
"I wasn't fast enough, I made a joke in the middle of the fight and shit went bad." Nero admitted. The priest had stopped smiling. Now he gave Nero a slow hug that took time to wrap itself around Nero. Nero closed his eyes letting himself cry in front of someone else in ages.
"We all make mistakes, even Jesus felt temptation by the devil. In this instance you only felt tempted to joke around. It was a hard mistake, and now you should let this motivate you until you stop feeling the pain. To hate demons even more, to fight better next time, and to never make that same mistake again. You connected the father losing his son after a prior death in the family, to your memory of you losing family one after another. God lost his son. Jesus abandoned his potential to rule Earth in his mortal form until death to later do it spiritually." Crazz expressed gently.
"It's hard to move on." Nero admitted.
"It always is. But not letting others know is hard on everyone else. And most importantly yourself. You can let it out." Crazz suggested. He hugged Nero and he cried for the first time in front of someone else ever.
"I guess, you forgot the part about me losing my Netflix account but that's alright I guess." Nero said calmly.
"God forgives you, I forgive you, everyone does. In fact…" Crazz snapped his finger and the doors slowly opened. The inside was all black and there stood a silhouette standing an inch from the outside, with the light from the glass glow behind him. He walked out and Nero gasped.
"Thanks for saving my son." The man of the lost son stated.
"Huh? I never got to." Nero said confused.
"No he's in the hospital right now recovering. Thanks man." The man said walking over to Nero and patting his shoulder.
"But I messed up." Nero said in awe.
"Nope. Without you a lot of people would of died. Including me and my son. Thank you." The man stated.
"I promise I'll never slip up like that again. I won't break it." Nero said in a dedicated tone.
"I believe you." The man replied.
And with that Nero learned how to accept his so called weak human emotions. And that it was ok to forgive yourself.