Hello! New story I know I haven't even finished my other ones, but this one has been on my mind for months now. Please enjoy and review, favorite, and follow. Thank you!
Serena looked down at the crumpled paper once more. F. It wasn't common for her to receive this grade, but only this time she had a good reason to not study. The youma were being more active than usual, but you couldn't exactly tell your teachers that without being sent to the counselor. Serena groaned when her phone began to go off. She didn't bother with reading any of the messages and turned it off altogether. Instead of the Crown where she frequented, Serena made sure to go to the one place her friends would never think to look for; the library. It was also the library Ami would never go to because it was on the other side of town.
"I just want to graduate. That's it. Can't you just let me have that?" Serena muttered to herself or the universe? Who knows? Anyone who would be listening even that damn Queen Beryl, maybe the wench would give her a nice two-week vacation from fighting? She's sixteen for crying out loud. While everyone is worry about the next exam or if their boyfriend was cheating on them, she was worried about the fate of the world. What kind of hell is that? Serena felt the hairs on her neck raise up causing her to look behind seeing no one just like always. She was officially going crazy.
"If you keep talking to yourself, people will think you're crazy." A gruff voice from the table next to her grumbled.
Serena glared at the man across from her. Normally she wouldn't consider this man had at least a century on her, but with the week she had been having, politeness wasn't on her radar.
"I wasn't talking to you!"
"Obviously." The elder man replied dryly, placing his newspaper down.
Serena remained defiant. "Look, I have had an awful day and I don't need a snarky old man's opinion to make things worst. So I would love it if you would ignore me and leave me alone!"
He wasn't as old as Serena was making him out to be. With his pepper hair combed back, blue eyes that seemed to have seen everything, and a blue suit that was tailored to fit his body, he looked fifties. He said nothing picking up his paper once more.
Serena rolled her eyes sitting back at her seat, her eyes drifting back to her exam. She sighed in exasperation. "I should forget this sailor business and move out of the country."
The man folded his newspaper and stood up, brushing off the nonexistent lint off his suit. His tone became more ominous and serious, "You can't change your past or who you are meant to be."
"What do you mean by that?" Serena looked up, all signs of the man gone. She slumped on her seat looking around, "I'm probably seeing things."
Her communicator began to go off causing Serena to jump. Unfortunately, she couldn't turn that off. She opened it and couldn't help but snap, "What?"
"Serena! We had a meeting." Luna scolded, "The girls have tried calling you, but I've been told you missed your last class today and just ran off. Where the hell are you?"
Serena sighed feeling the fight she had building up in her leave. She just nodded feeling tired, "I'll be there."
Luna's eyes softened as well as her tone when she saw Serena's defeated expression. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just it's getting harder to balance my…" Serena shook her head. If she thought about her responsibilities, she was going to get a migraine. "Everything."
"We can talk about this when you get here. I'm sorry you feel that way." Luna really did feel for the young girl. She had only been Sailor Moon for a few months and out of all of them, she was still struggling with the transition. Luna had a feeling it was because Serena had the most normality in her life before Sailor Moon compared to the other girls who made a seamless transition.
"Thanks Luna. I'll be there. I'm sorry I'm late. Again." Serena closed the compact before Luna could say anything else.
Serena couldn't help but mull over the old man's words. What did he mean? Did he recognize her from that life? The princess life? Serena could barely remember anything from that life other than what had been told to her. She couldn't change the past, she knew that. Which past? Serena couldn't comprehend tomorrow so what did he mean what she was meant to be? Not a failure to life?
In the midst of her thoughts, Serena jumped startled when she heard the oh so familiar screams coming from the direction of the park. It was only half a block away. Serena stood there contemplating if she should leave the good people of Tokyo to the mercy of the youma. Death by energy drainage wasn't the worse way to go. It could have been stabbing. The screams got louder and so did her conscience, so she made a quick dash to the park. She transformed as fast as she could then popped out of the bushes slipping her infamous speech.
"Look, I'm tired. Can you just go back to the hell hole you've crawled out of? I won't even kill you either. Deal?" Serena negotiated with the blue woman with spines all over her body carrying an orb of some sort.
"Sailor Moon not fighting back?" Zoicite taunted then proceeded to order his monster to attack.
Serena couldn't help but snap back, "Some of us have lives outside of good versus evil. Ever heard of a vacation?" She had never yearned for normalcy more so than at this moment.
Zoicite said nothing continuing to float in the sky and command his monsters to attack. Serena looked at the youma, it would be rather pretty if you could take away the razor sharp teeth and blood. Serena dodged the youma easily, ducking her head, before giving it a kick across the face. Before it fell to the ground, Serena threw her tiara at it surprising herself when it worked at the youma became a pile of dust. When she turned, Zoicite stood on the ground across from her, his hand on the hilt of his sword.
Serena looked up at Zoicite, her hands on her waist giving him a pointed look. "You can go. I won't tell my team I let you leave and you won't tell your queen that you saw me. We don't have lay a finger on each other."
"You're negotiating?" Zoicite asked his hand leaving his sword baffled at her unusual behavior.
Serena rolled her eyes, "For today, I'm done." She wasn't sure why she decided to complain to her villain, "I haven't had a decent sleep in two days. I just failed my exam because I never have time to study any more. I'm not even lazy any more, I just don't have time especially when your attacks have doubled! That does things to people."
"You're giving up?" Zoicite asked. It sounded like a good deal. He digested her words, glad he didn't have to reincarnate and go back to school.
Serena felt like wringing his neck. "Like I said, I'm overdue for a vacation. What do you say?"
"Are you actually contemplating that?" Both turned to the third voice, who happens to be Darien floating in the sky. He wasn't in his Tuxedo Mask uniform, but a red cape with dark grey armour on top of black clothing. He wore no mask revealing his blue eyes that had darkened and remained still like sapphires, beautiful but empty. Darien's eyes moved like an ocean, calm one minute and raging like a hurricane the next.
Serena refused to allow him affect her. He wasn't Darien, the college boy who teased her, but still managed to help her on her homework if she was whining enough just to make her shut up. This person wouldn't pay for her milkshake when she forgot her wallet. This person didn't wheedle his way into her life making her grow used to him as time when on even if it was bantering back and forth. She exchanged insults with him but she had fun every time she did it.
"This is an A and B conversation. C yourself out." Serena couldn't help but quip. Unlike before, this person wouldn't give her a witty response either.
Darien smirked, "Did you read that?"
"I'm going to ignore you. Zoicite, we can go get coffee and bitch about our lack of vacations. We're not even paid for it. We should find new employment." Serena countered making sure all of her attention was on Zoicite, who glared at the blonde, feeling uneasy with her lack of blinking.
"Real mature."
"There is a rather loud annoying wind coming from up there. It has the power to give me a headache."
Zoicite sighed loudly, they were giving him a headache! How could anyone not blink for so long? "I'm leaving! You two can solve your own problems without dragging me into this."
With that, he disappeared with a snap leaving Darien and Serena alone. Serena cursed at the empty spot that Zoicite once occupied, but she was nothing if not stubborn and continued to stare at that same direction. Darien landed on the ground taking three long strides before he invaded her personal space. Serena turned her glare to look at him.
"Same offer applies to you too." Serena offered as Darien smirked.
Sailor Moon was many unappealing things: a crybaby, a whiner, emotional, but she wasn't boring. Had she been less oblivious, she would have noticed him following her ever since she left school with another failing grade in her hands. A part of him that remained human wanted to sit next to her and listen to her vent to Andrew and himself at the Crown. Ever since he had awakened on Beryl's side, he had grown rather apathetic to everything. Except around her. The only time he felt anything.
His hand found her shoulder, trailing it down to her hand where he started rubbing circles on her wrist. Her facial expression hadn't changed, but her eyes grew wide and her skin raised goosebumps.
Serena froze when his hand touched hers. It was the same. He still had an effect on her and worse of all, he knew it too. He leaned down his breath on her neck, his lips grazed it for a second before moving to her ear. "Close your eyes, Princess."
"What are you…?" Serena couldn't finish before she was surrounded in a flash. They weren't at the park anymore, but on the rooftop of Tokyo Tower.
"You remember don't you?" Darien asked watching her take a few steps behind her.
She ignored his question moving towards the exit, "Good day."
In a flash, he was right in front her blocking her path. Serena groaned trying to remain indifferent, but she never could around Darien, "Why can't you leave me alone? You're fraternizing with the enemy."
"I never said you were my enemy." Darien replied moving to her hand, but this time Serena moved away, taking a large step behind her.
"After everything you've done to me, did you really think I wouldn't come to hate you?" Serena snapped. "You're insane!" His betrayal hurt. Only Luna knew the extent of how much he hurt her when she cried herself to sleep after facing his brainwashed self the first time. It was one night of tears before she regretted she shed them. She never loved Darien. They were sort of friends and maybe she did care about him to an extent. So she did get used to him always there at the Crown with a newspaper in hand in his ugly green jacket. The stupid ugly green jacket, she missed that too.
Darien remained unaffected by her words. He only smiled grabbing her wrist to stop her from leaving, forcing her to turn around. Sailor Moon glared at him, he was sure she was contemplating murder.
"I'm the bad guy? I'm lacking most emotions and a conscience, but I don't think I'm the bad guy. It's as if I'm Endymion once more. Your prince wasn't a saint, not in the slightest. You're not the perfect heroine yourself." He grins at her, but it doesn't reach his eyes. They reach hers and only then does she see amusement dancing within them instead of it's usual stillness. His lips curved into a smirk when he didn't see any recollection in her eyes only irritation. "You don't remember do you?"
Serena scoffed, "My disdain for you? Always there."
His hands that were on her wrist glowed a gold color that began to give her flashes of white silk, marble columns, and the scent of roses. Long blonde hair with a crescent moon on her forehead, lips pressed against the moon shape with the utmost tenderness as if she were glass and a single touch would break her. Darien's blue eyes looked down on her with concern, flashing her a small smile before he ran off, her last image of his retreating back. She pulled her arm out of his grasp, gasping at him pulling herself out of the fantasy.
"What did you do to me?" She asked, exhaling heavily, hand moving to her chest feeling her erratic heartbeat.
"You should have gotten back all of your memories when I got them back. That's how soul binding works." Darien muttered. Serena in this life was as stubborn as she was in the past. Why were her memories still repressed? She should have gotten them the same time she discovered the silver crystal. "Do you remember our past? The better question should be, why don't you want to remember our past?"
"We didn't know each other long enough to have a past." Serena replied trying to keep her voice neutral even though he was bringing about her curiosity, a weakness and a strength.
When his hand managed to grab a hold of her's again, Serena looked behind to see a castle made of white marble, gold, and silver. When she looked into the horizon, she saw Earth with the sun peeking from behind creating a shadow. The sky surrounding it was purple and teal with more stars than she had ever seen plotted. She managed to yank her arm back, the image going back to Tokyo Tower's sunset.
"What are you trying to do?" Serena exclaimed. His brows furrowed at the moon warrior. Why was it taking so long?
"What do you remember of your past life?"
"Dying." Serena retorted holding her wrist tightly. That was a lie, she watched souls move to on to the next life including Princess Serenity, but she wasn't going to tell him that. No way was she letting him do that feed his memories into hers, his twisted memories of the past. Beryl's version of the past? What if that's what he had? She tried once more to get away from him, but somehow he beat her to the door. How does he keep doing that? She crosses her arms, her glare on him, becoming more angry when he grows smug.
"You know the only good thing that has come out of this other than my lack of conscience is all of the memories I got from our last life, Princess."
Serena rolls her eyes trying to keep the curiosity out of her voice. She didn't want to give him any satisfaction. "Stop calling me that."
Once more he's right in front of her. He leans down where she feels his breath on her face. She does her best to remain unaffected, but she isn't as nearly as good as he is. Darien smirks, not moving his face away.
"You seem to be resisting finding out anymore about the Silver Millennium. You know your senshi already have all of their memories back. Why don't you want to find out?"
Serena frowns at the new knowledge. No one told her any of this. Sometimes, their eyes looked older than 16 years old. In a rare moment Serena caught when she came over early to walk with Ami to school, the usually methodical rational Ami with a hand on her heart, tears falling down her cheeks, shoulders slumped, her eyes glassy even though they never moved away from the door. When she asked Ami what happened, Ami shook her head with a sad smile. One of mourning and longing.
"Beautifully bad dreams. Nothing important." Ami replied before effectively diverting the subject in a way where Serena didn't realize she was talking about herself once more.
Beautifully bad dreams, what did that mean?
Her eyes meet Darien's, his eyes darken, his smirk more wide knowing that he got to her. Serena shakes her head, she'll deal with that later. Now she had to leave Darien. He knew why they were all protecting her, but due to her current cowardice Serena didn't want to know. How did she know how Endymion looked lik?Was Endymion like this too?
"I'll be going now. Thank you for that information." She takes a giant step back only to hit his chest causing her to stumble, but his arm is around her waist right away catching her fall. She doesn't turn to face him, mentally counting backwards from ten to try to give the facade of nonchalance. The smirk dancing on his lips if he sees her blush, knowing that her heart beated a little faster than normal, she would slap him if she saw that.
"Thank you." She says evenly stepping away from his arms only for his hold on her to tighten. Another difference between good versus evil, manners.
His breath on her neck, his hand digging into her hips, and his other found it's way to one of her pigtails twirling them in his fingers. His mouth moves closer to her ear, "You don't want to know about your Prince? Your Senshi?. Your crying mother feeling so much guilt because in the end, it was her fault you all died in the first place." He chuckles brushing her hair away. She could barely hear his next words. "Not everything is in black and white, Serena."
Serena turns around, seeing once more rushed glimpses of what had been. She didn't want to deal with this. Her eyes close shut stopping the colors that circled around her. Why wouldn't it stop?
"Love makes people weak, maybe it wasn't Beryl that undid them in the first is what killed them in the end. How am I the bad guy?"
His last words. Serena almost stumbles forward when he disappears from behind her. His words repeat in her head, what did he mean? Black and white? Love killed them in the end. Were they foolish? What did Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion sacrifice? Why did they have to die?
For the first time, Serena wishes to have those memories, but then she thinks of what it could mean and change. No, those memories were not good ones. His last words she was familiar with, the forbidden love between Endymion and Serenity killed each other in the end. If they didn't love, then maybe they would have lived. There was no way she wanted to visit the past.
Her phone this time rings and although she picks up, her thoughts are still on Darien's words when she greets Makoto, "Hey."
"Are you ok? Luna can't get a hold of you. Everyone was calling your communicator, but not your phone. Pretty ridiculous." Makoto laughed shaking her head, "We're teenage girls first not superheroes."
"Yeah. I'm...around." Serena hoped her voice sounded chipper enough, "Are you all still at Rei's? I wanted to talk to you guys about something."
Serena looked around the roof of Tokyo Tower once more. The sun had set and Serena missed it. Once she became Sailor Moon and then figured out she was the Princess, she took time to appreciate her world. The world when she remained oblivious to Beryl and the rising Negaverse.
She shook her head, it was time to get answers to questions she preferred unanswered. With Darien's new ability, he could implant his own memories into hers, but were those true memories. Did that actually happen? Prince Endymion held her as if she would break, staring at her as if she hung the stars in the sky. Was Prince Endymion the gentle one she had encounter through brief glimpses of the past or was he more like the Darien now? The one who helped her with homework or the one with apathetic eyes?
When Serena met up with the girls, she had been contemplating her earlier thoughts had been on repeat. All of them were happily eating dinner Makoto had made except Serena who kept picking at her food instead.
"What's wrong with you? You usually want seconds by now." Rei commented, but instead of snapping back like she usually did, Serena remained silent.
"Makoto said you wanted to talk to us about something." Ami pointed out, "Do you want to talk about it now?"
"My problem is I don't know how to ask it." Serena replied placing her fork down when she decided to not eat.
"You can ask anything. We're best friends." Minako comforted. Minako easily fit in with their little group as if she was always supposed to be there. That's why they accepted her as leader easily. She had the level-headedness, but she was also empathetic. She could be cheery and bubbly one minute and serious in the next. The problem was Serena wasn't sure if she was just a skilled actress or genuine.
Serena bit her lip, "What exactly do you remember about the Silver Millennium?"
Minako's tone remaining light when she replied. "The same amount as you. Why?"
"No reason." Serena shook her head. Why couldn't she just ask them? "What happened during the meeting today?"
Makoto shook her head, "No meeting. When you didn't show up and youmas didn't show up for the first time in days. We all just ran errands. Again, we do have lives outside of this crime fighting."
Ami grabbed a bunch of notebooks, her tiny computer, and books setting it on the table in front of them. "I was looking into different plans to beat Beryl. Our original plan was to be stronger than her, but I don't know how much power she has now with Endymion on her side.."
"Ami's right." Minako pointed out to the diagram Ami drew out of the Negaverse. "Artemis said the Negaverse awakened when the first Senshi awakens. I was first when I was 13. I didn't even see Beryl, but she woke up with all of the memories and powers intact along with Metallia. She's had more years to prepare."
"This time it isn't armies against armies." Rei waved her hand around them, "It's just us. Only five of us against a Queen with a grudge on Earth even though those people died centuries ago. It's ridiculous."
Makoto frowned, "I swear we were more powerful back then."
"We were adults and we had been training since we were small children. It's different now. Not exactly a norm to seek out Sailor Senshi anymore." Minako replied before looking over at Serena, "Besides you."
"I've never used the Silver Crystal my entire time as Princess." Serena said playing with the tiny rock in her hands, "I don't know how it works. You can't help me either because you're not Lunarian."
"Lunarian?" Ami asked as Serena waved her off.
"I've had a long day with a lot of things I don't understand." Serena's mind drifted to those brief memories she didn't understand. Lunarian what they called people of the Kingdom of Lunara. She didn't even know her old kingdom had a name.
"Besides, she has Darien or Endymion I don't know what to call him." Makoto retorted. "He's powerful especially because he has all of his memories and even his power back more than just the ability to be a flower girl. It sucks that he's brainwashed for her bidding."
"Technically he's not brainwashed. His conscience has silenced, no more right or wrong. It's all about want, take, and have. As selfish of a person as you can be." Ami interjected flipping through the notebook she had been writing her research in. "Luna and I have been looking into the curse that was used on him to see if we can reverse it. It began as a spell to create the perfect soldier only intelligent beings without a conscience are dangerous. The problem here is more than just his lack of knowing right from from. His emotions are turned down, still there but you can barely hear it unless you make a tremendous effort. He'll never be satisfied because of that."
Makoto took the notebook, "Why were you looking at this?"
"I told you I was looking into other solutions. If we can't stop Beryl by force, than maybe if we can break this curse she has on many of her minions. She'll lose her soldiers."
Minako frowned, "It's a good idea, but there is no countercurse. There hasn't been one centuries ago when it was invented. This spell I remember it being banned. This is dark magic, Ami. A countercurse to this is all about the want, take, and have just like the curse. What do we have to give up to break this? The price will always be too high with dark magic."
"What do you mean you remember when I don't remember?" Serena asked hearing his words repeat in her head louder.
Minako being the actress she was just shrugged nonchalantly, "I've had more years to prepare for her. Artemis and I have looked through old databases we found that's still around. There's some stuff still in London."
"Oh." Serena couldn't take it anymore bottling in her encounter. Maybe he wasn't just messing with her. His words kept repeating in her head. "I met Darien today."
"Don't give me that look. No I wasn't trying to get him back. I don't think I'm powerful enough to do that. Anyways he approached me and since his brainwashing, he has all of his memories back. He told me some things."
"Sere…"
Serena shot Rei a look that would have made her mother proud. As if Serenity for that brief second took over wanting to remind the Senshi of her status. A status she'll always keep. "What was Endymion like?"
"Noble, honorable, and brilliant." Ami began. It was why she was second in command. She knew how to appease Serena. "What a good king was trained to be."
Rei could never stay quiet for long. "Why does it matter? He's probably lying to manipulate you." Rei voice had a hard edge to it. Her eyes softened when Minako this time shot her a look. "He's brainwashed. He's not Darien Shields tutor extraordinaire."
"I don't think he is." Serena shook her head trying to make sense of it, "If he were telling me how happy we were once upon a time and how we can be happy again if I joined him than ok, I would have reacted the same way, but he didn't. He made it sound like Endymion falling for Serenity was the worst thing that could have happened. That if they didn't love each other, than they would have been alive."
"You believe him." Makoto stated.
Serena laughed bitterly, "He's the only one telling me about our past instead of avoiding it!"
"You know we have our memories back." Minako began in a soft voice. "That's why you want to know."
"Can you tell me something? Anything. A part of me doesn't want to know and a part of me does want to know. I can barely control this stupid rock!" She threw the Silver Crystal on the floor, " How the hell am I supposed remember a past life?"
"Serena," Ami closed the notebooks, "We don't know."
"What are you talking about? You knew! You were there."
"No we don't." Ami repeated again her voice with finality. "Serenity kept her relationship with Endymion close to her heart. No one knew anything except him and her. She never told anyone. It was a forbidden relationship."
"He was there in the end." Serena insisted. Those memories remain fresh as if it happened yesterday. Sometimes Serena would close her eyes only to be transported to Serenity's final moments.
Makoto grabbed Serena's wrist to stop her from standing, "Because Earth was already destroyed. The royal family was killed besides Endymion who escaped before Beryl launched her final campaign on the moon. We only knew of your relationship with him at the end before we all died. You were close lipped about it."
"I am not her!" Serena exclaimed shaking Makoto's hand off hers feeling fury envelope her. "That was not my relationship."
"We never said it was." Minako sighed taking Serena's hands in hers. "But this war started because of our past. Not because of what we did in the present but what our past did. I know it's unfair but you inherited her choices including her mistakes."
"I don't want her mistakes!" Serena stood up hands on her hips, "This is my life. Why does it have to be hers too? I don't want any part of this!"
"Well guess what you're part of it!" Rei yelled back, "You think we want this? I would love to be a teenage girl again and only worry about school or my crazy grandfather but I can't. Stop being so selfish!"
"Rei, enough." Minako commanded. "Serena, calm down. I know it's a lot to take in."
"No you don't!" Serena exclaimed, "You've had 3 years to take it all in and adapt, I was given 6 months!" She gestured to the other girls, "We were all given 6 months. I don't see why you're accepting it so easily."
"I understand how scared you are. I'm telling you now that you don't have to be. They are Serenity's memories and it'll feel like you're reading a vivid storybook, but it doesn't change who you are as Serena." Minako explained trying to keep the environment neutral.
Serena wasn't sure why she felt anger, "Really? Because when you're alone or you think I don't notice because I'm an idiot, I see how much you changed because of those memories." Her voice becomes soft, "They are not only memories, but feelings. It changes you. Call me a coward, but I refuse to want that."
"Serena…" Ami tried to reason only for Serena to shake her head.
Her mind drifted to Endymion and Darien. "He hurt me and I hate him. I find it hard to believe that I loved him once upon a time. These memories are subjects of misery." Serena sighed, "Maybe he's right."
"Serena…"
Serena couldn't hear them, Darien's words once again repeating in her head. "Maybe if they didn't love each other and chose their duties instead of their hearts, none of this would have happened."
"You can't mean that." Makoto said, "What happened to happy optimistic about love Serena?"
"She didn't have Serenity's memories." Serena exhaled deeply turning to face them, "I only looked at a sliver of her memories and I'm miserable. If you'll excuse me."
Rei walked towards her only for Minako to hold out her arm, "Stop. She's adjusting. She needs time."
"With Beryl, I don't think we'll get time." Rei said, but didn't follow her.
Ami held the Silver Crystal in her hand, "I'll give her this. Maybe she'll get her memories back and she'll understand."
"Or maybe she'll dwell with her misery." Makoto sighed. "I don't see her being happy at the end of this. Serenity wasn't happy either if you remember."
Minako shook her head, "We don't need her happy. Just capable."
Makoto rolled her eyes shaking her head, "She isn't Serenity."
Minako remained unfazed, "This Earth needs her to be if she wants it to survive."
"Serena isn't Serenity. She thrives on talking about her problems with her friends." Makoto argued only for Minako to give her a stern look.
"None of you talk to her for the rest of the night. I rarely do this, but that's an order. Don't make me make it formally official." Minako's voice softened, "She needs time. I understand that. Serena has had a harder time adjusting. One day may not make the most difference, but it's all I can give her."
Serena ventured into one section even Rei barely went in except for cleaning. The room had that musty smell and cold enveloped her once she closed the door, but she welcomed the solitude. Serena opened the window, which gave her the perfect image of the moon. It was a full one tonight, how odd how it was once a home for thousands and thousands of people.
Maybe she was overreacting. These memories may hold the key to stopping Beryl, but Serena had a feeling it contained more of a love story than strategies and war. What was Princess Serenity like? What was Endymion like? Did she too have hopes and dreams only to be a victim of a war? Did he want more than the life of a prince? Why her? Why him? What made her love him? Vice versa.
Serena groaned cursing at the moon above her. "Why me?"
She hugged the small pillow that was on the floor to her chest, her eyes never leaving the moon. "I don't want her memories. As a separate person not someone that was once me. I want to know her. She was more than just my past life, she was alive. I may be her essentially, but even I will never understand the choices she made. Did she ever regret them?"
"I wish to understand her." Serena laid her head down on the floor mat, "That'll never happen, she's dead."
When she closed her eyes, her last image was the moon a circle in a black ocean. She wondered why there were no stars in the sky. She wondered of her past as if it were a pool of water on a summer day and you didn't know if it was safe to dive in. Serena felt those memories in her grasp only if she chose to do so. At this moment, she didn't want them.