I don't want to be this, this hurts; everything is too bright, too much.

Hunger cuts me up inside, cut up somebody else instead, make them feel this pain.

They don't know; don't understand this confusion, this unreality.

I can't stop to think, if I stopped to think, if I lie down and ever thought, I'd die inside again.

What once was is lost forever.

I'm not like them.

I've never been like them.

But I have to pretend to be and that makes me just as bad, just as stupid.

They don't know, thank the blackness, and thank the end, they will never know and they should be thankful.

You can't see everything, not all at once; no one can live like that, so we become blind inside and our eyes don't see who is screaming, our hands don't feel what we're tearing at, our mouths don't taste what we're chewing.

Just running forever so we don't have to stop, we don't have to ever think.

If we lied down we'd die, just like the others, go out doing whatever you happened to do be doing, never, never, never.

Everything is so ugly here, the fires, the blood, the bodies, everything is so real here, on the ship of Reckonin', we all saw it and we all promised there and then, amidst the death, it will never happen again.

There was something in the air, we screamed and screamed but no one listened.

They were all dead, all dead.

Just lied down and died.

I stay in my bunk a lot, polish my knives and guns; they ignore me like they ignore the other ships unless they are weaker, I think it's because I don't eat like them, I just eat when I need to or maybe 'cause I don't "not think" like them, maybe they know.

I watch the stars go by, like little bits of glitter, I remember glitter, it was my favourite thing cause' of how it glinted off the light, the stars are brilliant glitter white in a sea of black.

The others like the smell, I can't like it, its horrible and junks up my nose like oil slick.

I don't know why I remember life before or why I'm not exactly like them.

The others are screaming so I guessed we must be landing, smells like dust.

The ropes go down, I'm one of the last to hit down on the rocky soil.

The others go straight to the food, screeching and biting, the ones to pass me as they run look at me strange 'cause am not running and yelling too.

The people stare in right horror as they see the others running, they start screaming and start to go fast but not fast enough I suppose.

I walk slowly like, looking left and right as I'm going and see something beautiful.

So very beautiful.

A person, a living person who thinks like me, in jolts and bits.

She, I think that's what the person is, hard to tell from so far in the dust, seeing as I got such really bad vision which is kinda like staring through water.

She just jumps onto the little open yellow ship and it speeds away so fast, so fast.

I run after her but the ship is so fast, like a little yellow comet.

There were five on board, another tried to get on but somebody pushed him.

I wanted to be on that ship, don't know why, but I didn't want to be eating them or doing other stuff either, just wanted to be next to that beautiful girl with the mind like mine.

I watched until she disappeared from my eyes.

I wandered around, looking at the remains of the people and all the others eating them, them giving me those weird looks.

I didn't feel like one of them.

That's when I knew I didn't feel like a reaver.