Without Me, You're Nothing
A Supernatural oneshot
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The Supernatural cast doesn't belong to me, sadly. I've been watching too much of this show lately… ;P Read, review, and enjoy! *Written for autumn midnights for the Gift-Giving Extravaganza 2014 forum with the pairing Destiel.
- ^-^3
Cass came back to his senses, thanks to Dean.
It took a lot of effort and almost cost him his life, but Cass came back. Be it leviathans, demons, or something far worse…
The angel had some confidence that he would always right things if he had Dean there to scold him. Dean was like his check and balance. Cass goes off the reservation, Dean yells him back to his senses. Cass turns evil, Dean's there holding out a hand to bring him back up from his fall.
Sometimes Cass muses that he needs Dean. It's in a different way from needing family or friends. He's certain it's different from the way Dean needs water or burgers or pie. But the bottom line is that he needs Dean.
- ^-^3
He takes to sticking around the boys. It's better than the alternative, because angels, as the boys would say, are getting "ganked" left and right by leviathans.
Cass likes sitting in the backseat, behind Sam. That way, he gets the best view, the widest view of Dean. He can keep Dean in sight, and Dean can keep him in sight.
Dean says nothing. Sam says nothing, either, but he's lost in his own thoughts, like usual. It probably has to do with Lucifer pestering him, and for that Cass is sorry. He's not quite sure how to fix that, not yet.
While the three of them say nothing in a car traveling on the lookout for leviathans and other things that go bump in the night, Cass rests his wings and continues his view.
Every now and then, Dean's eyes shift to the rearview mirror. They catch Cass' every now and then.
Cass doesn't blame him. He knows Dean's looking for any change, any sign that there is some part of the angel that Dean didn't get through to…but it's all right. Cass is here, all of him.
All of him, for Dean.
- ^-^3
It's a good thing, too.
Out in California, they take care of a kirin herd. Far worse than any simple imagined unicorn, the kirins had been running people through with their horns as part of their mating ritual.
"I thought they were supposed to be good luck," Sam remarks.
"In both Chinese and Japanese mythology, maybe," Dean says. "But we're far from the islands, and I don't see how lucky it is, getting impaled so some bastard can get laid."
Even though Dean talks all high and mighty, he still ends up being one of the victims. Then Sam cuts off a kirin's horn and uses it to kill the herd, and they're just left with a dying Dean.
The boys don't even need to say a word. Castiel heals Dean without a second thought. There, good as new.
"Thanks, Cass," Dean says with a grateful smile. He means it. "Let's hope you don't have to do that again anytime soon."
The angel shrugs. Isn't that what he's here for?
- ^-^3
As it turns out…that is exactly what he's here for. It's not as though the Winchesters plan on it, but Dean and Sam get roughed up on more than one occasion, Dean more so. Occasionally Cass wonders what they did before angels. …oh, right, they made deals.
But kirins, cluricauns, nagas—all kinds of things still bubble up to the surface while the leviathans are on the loose. And when all kinds of things bubble up to the surface, Dean gets hurt. A lot.
With every healing session, Castiel frowns more and more. He may not be God anymore, but he begins to realize that he can't quit being a god around Dean. Maybe, just maybe, it's not only that he needs Dean.
Maybe Dean needs him, too. (At least, to live.)
- ^-^3
Uriel once said that humanity was God's favorite. Castiel agrees. In that way, he would've made a good God. Humanity (or perhaps just a few humans in particular are) is his favorite.
Time passes, and the Winchesters are on their never-ending crusade. Along the way, Cass makes good use of his time, and he no longer goes for walks while they sleep.
Each and every night, Cass looks Dean over. Each night, he selects one old injury—the ones sustained after he raised Dean from Hell, because Dean's had the crap beaten out of him since then—and heals it.
The insides Zachariah played with? Brand-new.
The scars other hunters left him with guns and knives? Invisible (but really gone).
The slices left behind when the boys need their own blood for some spell? Sewn up.
Cass wonders what Dean would think if he knew Cass was exercising such control over him.
Frankly, Cass doesn't care. Dean's alive and well and kicking, and that puts his mind at ease.
- ^-^3
"Dude—you got less sleep than I did, and I was the one tied up and waiting for you," Sam tells his big brother after a narrow escape from leviathans.
Dean grins. Cass enjoys seeing that grin. "I don't know what to tell you, Sammy. But it's great. It's like—it's like I slept on a bed of feathers—" He pauses, glances in the mirror at Cass. "No offense."
The angel imperceptibly smiles. "None taken."
"Anyway," he continues, coming back to his brother, "it's like I had the best night's sleep of my life. I feel empowered, man. Invigorated." He pumps his fist as if that will prove something.
"Okay, Superman, so you got your extra dose of the sun this morning," Sam yawns. "But quiet now, okay? I'm going to close my eyes for a bit."
"You do that." Dean turns up the music. Led Zeppelin blares from the speakers.
Sam sighs, but he falls asleep anyway. He's used to this by now.
- ^-^3
The more Cass heals, the better Dean feels.
One night, off the road so the boys can sleep, Dean's too excited to close his eyes. He gets out of the car and downs a bottle of water. Cass joins him.
"Can't sleep?" Dean jokes.
"I shut my eyes from time to time, collect my thoughts," Castiel replies.
"I'm beginning to think that's what I'll do."
Cass doesn't frown, but he doesn't smile either. "That's impossible. I am an angel, Dean. You are a mortal. You need sleep."
Dean scratches his head. "Yeah… About that…I kind of feel like I can't."
Lovely. Perhaps Cass has healed a little too much?
"Honestly, I feel great. I've never felt so fit before. I… I think I'm in even better shape to be a hunter these days." He looks at Castiel, waiting for a comment.
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't take it easy," Castiel warns.
Dean snorts and rests an arm on Cass' shoulder. "Cass, when have I ever taken it easy?"
- ^-^3
Dean takes it too easy.
In a scenario about which Cass simply can't shake the feeling was meant to happen with Bobby in the starring role, Dean and Sam escape SucroCorp, with Dick Roman hot on their heels. But Dick Roman's an excellent shot, and the next thing Cass knows, he, Sam, and Bobby are riding with a body with an extra hole in its head.
Sam's yelling. Bobby's asking what the hell's going on.
Dean's saying nothing.
And Cass? Cass is panicking.
He summons a lot of his power—more than he's done as of late—and gets to work. He extracts the bullet. He mends Dean's brain. He rebuilds Dean's skull. He even cleans up the blood.
Once they're far away enough, Bobby pulls over, and it's a happy reunion for everyone.
Well, almost everyone.
- ^-^3
Dean would like to rush in through the front doors to kill Dick Roman. But that's not going to happen, because they still don't have the tools to kill the head leviathan.
"Well, we'll figure it out along the way," he snaps when they're at Bobby's home.
Sam and Bobby look between him and Cass. Cass figures that if it weren't Bobby's home, they'd both give them the room.
But Dean leaves first. He heads outside, leaving Castiel to clench and unclench his fists by his sides in silence until the eyes on him become unbearable and he chases after his favorite mortal.
Outside, Cass finds Dean rearranging the armory in the trunk. He looks raring to go. "This is madness, Dean."
"No, what's madness is that I can't sit still while those freakin' monsters infect the country and turn us all into lunchmeat!" He pauses, catches his breath. He glares at Cass. "He put a frickin' bullet in my head, Cass!"
"You cannot do the same."
"And why not?"
Cass steps forward, getting in Dean's face. Maybe it's a side-effect of wearing Jimmy's body for all these years, but Cass' heart is pounding wildly in his ears. Can Dean hear it, too? "You're not invincible."
"Well, no, but I feel—"
"I saved you the other night, from almost dying. And I'm to blame for your energy returning to you. I've been healing you. Every little thing wrong with you, I've been fixing."
Dean purses his lips. He looks away. "Oh. Thanks."
"I do not want thanks, Dean. I heal you because I want to. But I did not heal you to lose you. You saved me, Dean. Many times. May I save you this time?"
The older Winchester looks back at him. It's a familiar sight. They've been here so many times before, staring but never admitting to anything.
Maybe what Cass just said… Maybe that's as close as they ever got to admitting anything?
"I don't need you to protect me."
Cass waits.
Dean blushes and turns away, scoffing. "I mean, for cryin' out loud, Cass! Me, protected? I'm not some chick waiting for a prince." He shakes his head. "You're the princess."
Cass smiles. It's Dean's way of giving up, giving in (and admitting a little something, too).
- ^-^3
Castiel cannot force Dean Winchester to give up hunting. That would be tantamount to changing Dean, and Cass doesn't want to do that. Dean, after all, is his favorite mortal.
But Cass will continue to heal him so long as Dean becomes more cautious. Cass will wait until Dean cools off after every close call, and he will let Dean sleep—be it in his seat or bed or with his head resting in Cass' lap—and he will heal Dean. And every morning, Dean will wake up with a tan trench coat spread over him like a blanket, or a shield.
Castiel will do his best so that the "big game" is left to him, or so Dean at least will always fight alongside Cass. That's the best the angel can do, so that he doesn't lose Dean. His favorite mortal—he needs him, and Dean needs Cass. Maybe not like a god needs worshipper or a worshipper needs his god.
(Maybe exactly like a princess needs her prince and vice versa…)
- ^-^3
Wow… Apparently when I write from Cass' POV, the fic runs away from me like salt repelling a demon… O.o So…yeah. I was rather interested in exploring Cass' God-complex, and I kind of wish he'd been in s7 more… :L Hell, I kinda wish he'd just be around more and the writers would admit they ship Destiel, too. XP Anyway… Have some Destiel feels, lil' sis. ;P Angsty enough? Note: Kirins are a unicorn-like creature from Chinese and Japanese mythology, cluricauns are like the liquor-addicted versions of leprechauns, and nagas are serpents from Hindu mythos, I believe (has SPN used them before? I don't recall at this moment, whoops). Lastly: The title is a twist on Placebo's song "Without You, I'm Nothing," featuring David Bowie. Good song. -w-
Anywho, thanks for reading, and please review!
-mew-tsubaki :)