There was too much alcohol in his system to make any sort of thinking fair.

Beer after beer was handed to him, he just wanted to be numb; there was no way that was happening with the horrible beer, but he could try.

England's party was okay, there was chatter, there was cake (ice cream cake actually, so that was amazing) and some wine, but Prussia couldn't take wine right now.

He needed to numb everything down.

It'd been such a long time since he'd have someone beside him, it'd been such a long time since he hadn't felt alone and just recently... recently everything was falling around him, and he hated it.

He hated that he suddenly needed someone.

And a person in particular was making him ache.

There was a gentle laugh and he moved his wine colored eyes to see a blonde laughing and sipping on a full bottle of beer. His sparkling blue eyes glittered with tears from the joke France had told him, his fingers rubbing around the rim and touching the foam to his lips.

Prussia took in a shaky breathe and turned back to his beer, ignoring the ache in his chest.

Memories of the 1700's came into his mind.

America's smile as he trained him and taught him hand to hand combat. His face as Prussia pushed him to the brink, where he'd have to face fears he didn't know he had and tears would be rolling down his soft cheeks that were tinged red from the cold. He then remembered what he did to make it all better. The praises, the soft touches on his neck, him rubbing his hair and gently rubbing his thumb over his temple.

Small things that made America glad and Prussia could'nt help but be intruiged by the man.

And then they won the war and America had kissed him in gratitude, but Prussia had wanted more. So the kiss became heated and soon enough America was squirming in his bed as Prussia thrusted in and out of him, taking his innocence then and there and not caring about anything but the boy, and for the first time in his life he'd been happy.

But as Prussia closed his eyes and pressed the beer to his lips, he remembered the anger in America's face after the second war as he slapped Prussia and screamed at him for hurting England.

There was a shiver down his spine as he remembered the hate and the utter disgust in his usually loving blue eyes. He remembered it like it was yesterday, and the wound in his chest still ached as if the pain HAD been yesterday.

He needed to numb down that pain, and the pain after that moment that Russia had given him.

The lashes and the words that he had said against Prussia over and over.

Useless, hopeless, disgusting, horrible, nothing.

God, did he know he was nothing.

Nothing at all.

He stood up, pushing past bodies and swaying lightly. He felt his eyes water, but he swallowed another sip of his beer when he felt the beat of the music hit his body.

He knitted his brows and shook his head. It was all blurry. Blurry.

Bodies pressed together, and it was warm and uncomfortable.

He then felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see those blue eyes again.

"Gilbert?"

His name sounded amazing with that pretty mouth of his, and he wanted to kiss them, but the prussian instead took a swig of his beer and shook his head as if telling the blonde he heard him.

There was an upturn of his lips, and Prussia swallowed as he saw the dimples that he had kissed years ago. He felt his stomach flip and he grabbed the boys waist.

"What is it, mause?"

He felt the other shudder gently at the nick name and he grinned.

"How are you?"

Prussia knew there was no meaning behind those words, that they were just a question, and it meant nothing and it wasn't suppose to mean anything, but somewhere inside his head, Prussia broke.

He gently pressed his thumb into the boys waist and a shuddered breathe came out of his lips. He pressed them against America's ear, and with a voice neither of them had hear before he said gently-

"I've never been worse."

And Prussia turned around and threw his head back, finishing his beer faster than America had ever seen him do. The albino swayed a little more and then reached a booth and leaned back, grabbing a waiter and ordering another large serving of alcohol.

America bit his lip as Prussia looked up and gave him a wink.

This wasn't right.

The blonde knew this wasn't right, but he didn't know how to fix it.

The night dragged on with Prussia drinking so much that his face was almost completly red. He sat alone, his finger unconciously making a circle in the water that had spilled from the perspiration of his glass.'

He stared at the table, his legs crossed and his eyes concentrated on the clear crystal of the cup. His fingers traced the circle over and over and over and over...

It was hypnotizing.

His left hand was so distracted with the movement, that when a smaller and frailer hand touched it, he jumped and felt his heart leap to his throat.

"... Did i startle you...?"

Prussia couldn't see the person very well, but the voice was soft. It was honey and it felt amazing compared to his pulsing headache.

"S... sligh...tly..." He couldn't speak. His tongue was too big for his mouth suddenly. Everything was spinning, everything was off place.

"Are you okay?" America leaned into him and Prussia smelled beer, but there was the smell of cologne and soda pop and something soft that screamed innocence (which he knew was not there, since he'd been the one that made his soft voice scream sin for hours on end on more than one occasion) that he wanted and he craved.

He needed him more than anything in the world and it hurt.

He stood, not before covering his mouth from hurling. He began to walk, but he fell into America, who grabbed him.

"No.. i.. am n.. not okay..." Prussia's usually prominent accent was gone, as he tried to iron his voice out to talk.

America felt his face turn bright red as they crossed the dancefloor.

Prussia suddenly stiffened at the sound of a loud guitar and a gently song drifting between them.

America stared at Prussia as the albino gently tugged him into an embrace, wrapping his arms around America's curvy waist and cupping the back of the blonde.

"Gilbert?"

"It's just a dance..." Prussia said gently, putting America's soft hands on his shoulders and stepping the three steps that Old Fritz had taught him.

America's cheek's grew a tinge of red, and Prussia's vision cleared. He noticed the freckles dusted across his California tan and he smiled.

He knew people were staring at both of them, but he didn't precisly care. He leaned forward and dug his face into America's neck, taking a deep breathe as the guitar riff came and America shuddered.

"I don't know how to dance you know..." The blonde said quietly as Prussia hummed and ran his finger up and down the man's spine.

"I know..."

Prussia said gently and pulled back, staring into sky blue eyes that made him feel like he was staring at a clear blue day. And the smile wrinkles that made him swell with joy knowing that half of those were because of him. And the small mouth that he's tasted and kissed on more than one occasion with more than one emotion flooding through him at the moment.

He'd felt the skin underneath the clothing and yet he didn't know him. He'd touched every expanse of his skin before anyone else, but he's also felt the skin as it was someone's before him, even if from the beginning it was his.

And even though Prussia had had many people in his bed and many people on his lips, he'd never, ever, had someone take so much from him. Take his breathe, take his thoughts, take his very own soul.

America stared at wine eyes as shadows crossed through them. Years of turmoil and happiness glowed behind them and America was sure most of them were from him.

"Alfred..."

America shuddered and wrapped his arms tightly around the albino's neck, pressing his nose to his and feeling the other man's breathe on his face. It was warm and it smelled like beer, but it was also Prussia's.

His name sounded wonderful from his mouth. It sounded pure and it sounded soft. As if the name itself could break in half if he said it too loud or too forward.

Prussia's eyes slowly opened and there was such raw emotion that made America swallow hard and lid his eyes. He pursed his lips and gently rubbed a circle into Prussia's arm as he held America's waist.

"Alfred... god, Alfred..."

Prussia whispered quietly as America gently tugged him side to side and smiled quietly.

"Gil... it has been such a long time since we were this close..." His fingers dug into soft platinum locks and his finger gently rubbed the indent of his neck and spine, sighing gently. Prussia's vermilion gaze passed over freckles and bumps on the boys face. His mouth twitched and he gently licked his lips.

"It has, mause..." Prussia purred and felt the room stop swaying as his buzz slowly began to dull. He felt the other male's body pressing against every crevice and his scent filled his senses and he was so intoxicated with him, not counting the alcohol in his system.

America gently pressed his head on his chest and took a gentle breathe. Prussia pressed his chin ontop of the blonde tuft of hair and took in the smell of shampoo.

Prussia closed his eyes, gently rubbing his back and sighing lightly.

America suddenly pulled back as the song ended and he smiled up at him.

Prussia felt his heart swell and he leaned down and gently brushed his lips against the others, feeling the soft lips and the intake of breathe as America shuddered.

As he began to pull away America made a noise.

"N-no no..."

America pulled him back and Prussia was surprised as he began to kiss his fiercely and his fingers dug into his hair, pulling him close and sticking his tongue into his mouth, gently rolling it as he tasted Prussia's mouth.

The albino's knees wobbled and he picked up the blonde, swirling him into an arc, making him pull back with string of saliva connecting their make out session and beggining to laugh so hard he snorted.

"GILBERT!"

The albino put him down and then began to press kiss after kiss on the blonde.

"I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you." Prussia said, punctuating every word with a gently kiss. America smiled and then rubbed his forehead against Prussia's.

"I missed you... so much..." America said lightly and kissed him again, feeling an emotion bleeding through the gently kiss that made Prussia purr in his mouth and smile.

"I missed you too, mause."

The people in the room where almost puking with the delicate moment between the men, but both of the males where in a small circle of emotion, both of them smittened with each other.

Instead of the usual hate and awkwardness, instead of the stares and the sad eyes, Prussia gently pressed kiss after kiss on America's forehead and rubbed the blonde's jaw lightly.

America was happy. So happy, and he was sure Prussia would not leave.

Not this time.

And he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Go ahead.

Ask me what i wrote.

The only answer is i dont even know