The ever importiant AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!!!!!! *cue dramatic music* Haha, yeah... So I figure y'all mightjust like a little backstory as to this. It all started one day, sitting next to my Torchwood obsessed friend in history. She was telling me about a musical she was planning, called 'Weevil Rock You'. We started parodying lyrics on the spot, to 'We Will Rock You'. Eventually, I suggested Ianto get a solo; "Wedding Fairies", to the tune of Beyonce's "Single Ladies". This is the end result. Maybe I shall publish more songs we come up with, maybe I shan't. It all depends on the ratings/reviews I get. And yes, I do know it doesn't go very well with the song in some places. And no, I do not own Torchwood (if I had, Ianto would still be alive and Captain John would be a regular. Along with a poodle), anything associated with the BBC (if I had, Russel would still be on the Doctor Who staff and David would have been (TEN)nant longer), or Beyonce (if I did… I don't know, what do you want me to say! Fill in the blank yourself!).
RATING- T, just to be safe, as there is slight innuendo in part of the song
SPOILERS- None. Assuming you're past Cyberwoman. If not… sorry. And a couple of them work better if you've seen the episode's I'm talking about. Or the scenes in question on YouTube. If you want a list, contact me and I will provide.
Wedding Faries (to the tune of Beyonce's "Single Ladies")
IANTO:
All the wedding faires (7x)
Now put your wings up
Show your teeth, straighten your tie
Work the coffee machine
Cybergirlfriend died, I was kinda depressed
Then the captain noticed me!
I'm up on him, he up on me
dont pay Gwen any attention
She walked in, not our fault
Back to where we were
[Chorus]
Cuz you give the pteredon chocolate
You give the pteredon chocolate
It's good for her seretonian
You give the pteredon chocolate
wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2
Cuz you give the pteredon chocolate
You give the pteredon chocolate
It's good for her seretonian
You give the pteredon chocolate
I got a stopwatch in one hand, tape measure in the other
Jack says it never lies!
acting up, coffee in my cup
I didn't think the end of the world could get any worse
She knows more than me
Nobody knows more than me!
Cuz I know everything
And now you gonna learn
Plus it's at the bottom of the screen
(Chorus)
Cuz you give the pteredon chocolate
You give the pteredon chocolate
It's good for her seretonian
You give the pteredon chocolate
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh 2x
The phone network is down
Landlines, mobiles
Tin cans with bits of string
Everything, absolutely everything
No phones, phones all broken
Hello, is anyone there
No, cuz the phones are down
The phones are down
The phones are down
All the wedding faries (7x)
Now put your wings up
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh
oh oh oh 2x
Cuz you give the pteredon chocolate
You give the pteredon chocolate
It's good for her seretonian
You give the pteredon chocolate woo oh ooh 2x
Spoken- I thought it was catchy