I'm not the first person to think of something like this right?

Disclaimer-I don't even own mistletoe, let alone FMA.

Mistletoe Mishap: An FMA Christmas story

"Behold Havoc!" Roy Mustang said loudly as he pointed to the ceiling in the hallway of Central Military headquarters. "My newest, brilliant, plan!"

Havoc sighed. The colonel had dragged him out of his office to show him his new apparent "plan", whatever that was. He didn't even say what he was planning or the reason for said plan. But whatever; there wasn't much going on anyway and he was bored. At least this gave him something to do, no matter how odd it was. He took out his lighter and a cigarette. He lit it and he looked up. What he saw confused him.

"A leaf hanging from the ceiling, Sir?" He had no idea how this could possibly be an effective plan for whatever it was he was planning.

Roy smiled knowingly. "That leaf is called mistletoe. There's an old tradition that people hang it in their house and whoever stands under it receives a kiss. And there are no exceptions to this rule!"

Havoc took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at him strangely. "Uh, Sir…?"

Roy face palmed. "I don't mean you…idiot." He sighed and looked at him with a devilish smile. "I mean Lieutenant Hawkeye. When she walks by she'll have no choice but to kiss me."

"Ah, I see." Havoc grinned. NOW he understood what the plan was: Roy's ongoing plan to make Riza fall in love with him. "How devious of you."

"Speak of the devil, here she comes." Roy pushed Havoc out of the way, a bit too roughly.

Riza was walking down the hallway and stopped when she reached the two men.

Roy pretended to look shy so he wouldn't appear too eager. "A-hem, Lieutenant, I think you'd better look up." He pointed to the ceiling.

Riza looked up, looked at the colonel, walked around him and continued walking.

"Mistletoe is only used during Christmas time Taisa." She said as she turned a corner.

Roy's face dropped. "It is?"

Havoc took a drag from his cigarette then looked at the colonel. "Well that didn't work."

Roy groaned as he put his hand to his forehead. "Thank you Captain Obvious. I knew I forgot something." He cleared his throat and brushed back his hair. "No matter. It's already November so I won't have to wait long. Come Christmas, she will be mine!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"This is the second trial of my plan!" Roy said triumphantly.

"You're actually going to try this again?" Havoc asked.

"Of course I am!"

It was December, only two weeks before Christmas, and Roy was once again in the hallway waiting for Riza and his mistletoe kiss. Havoc was not dragged out of his office this time; he followed him to see if it would actually work.

"This time she cant avoid it! And here she is now!"

Riza was walking down the hallway with an armful of papers.

"Hello Lieutenant! It's Christmas time! The traditions have begun, including mistletoe!" he pointed to the ceiling.

Riza looked up, looked at him, and walked around him.

"Whoever hung that up needs to do their homework. That's an oak leaf, not mistletoe."

Roy tried to hide his embarrassment. "I knew that. I was just checking to make sure you knew."

Riza nodded and continued walking down the hall. As soon as she was out of sight, he pounded his fist on the wall.

"Dammit! I should have known better than to trust Ed to buy mistletoe for me, the little trickster!"

Havoc leaned against the wall. "You know, you might want to try something that's not so, oh I don't know, school boyish?"

"This will work." Roy said in a determined tone. "Headquarters is having a Christmas party next week and then I'll get my chance. But for now I think I'll go find Ed and torch him…" (1)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

A week passed and before anyone knew it, the Christmas party was here. Roy, Havoc, and Hughes were gathered together. Roy had told Hughes of his plan.

"They do say that third time's the charm!" Hughes said smiling. "This could be your night."

"Thank you! At least someone has faith in my plan."

Havoc sighed. "Ok, so you've got the right season, the right plant; how are you going to accomplish this?"

"Simple: I wait until she walks underneath it and take the chance."

"Good luck with that." Havoc said sarcastically.

"Come one Havoc, have some faith." Hughes slapped him on the back. "Maybe there'll be a Christmas miracle!"

Throughout the party Roy followed Riza around staying far enough that she wouldn't notice him. Time passed, at first a few minutes, then half an hour, than two hours. She always seemed to avoid the spot where the mistletoe was hanging. Roy was starting to get frustrated.

"Is she doing this on purpose? No no, that can't be it. Hmm, there must be a way to get her to stand under it."

He moved across the room and eventually found Havoc standing under the mistletoe, with Fuery standing across from him.

"Havoc!"

"I wasn't doing anything!" Havoc shouted and jumped.

"You're going to help me, come on!" Roy spun around dramatically and motioned with his fingers for him to follow.

"One second," A kiss sound was heard. "Ok I'm coming." He ran up the Colonel.

"Why did you need the one second?"

"I…I'll explain later. What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to somehow lure Riza to the mistletoe."

Havoc saluted. "I'm on it! I will gladly help you in your very odd plan."

So Havoc started to talk to Riza, slightly moving her closer and closer to the mistletoe. Roy waited until eventually they reached their target. He pumped his fist.

"Finally!"

"Hello Lieutenant~. Ah! Well look at this, it seems we're caught under the mistletoe."

Havoc rolled his eyes. "I'm glad he joined the military and didn't become an actor..."

"You and me both." Hughes had appeared beside him.

"So we are," Riza said. "Oh well, I guess tradition is tradition."

Roy smiled and closed his eyes. Riza leaned in…

…and kissed him on the cheek.

"Eh?" Roy opened his eyes, a confused look on his face.

Havoc sighed. "So close, and yet so far."

"Aw man!" Hughes snapped his fingers.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

The party ended and everyone said their goodbyes and best wishes. Roy stood outside with his hands in his pockets, watching the first flurries of snowflakes fall to the ground. He sighed.

"What was I thinking? It's not like she'd ever feel the same way…"

"Hey, don't give up. Better luck next time pal." Havoc patted him on the shoulder. "See you after the holidays. Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, you too."

Havoc left, Fuery walking next to him, holding his hand.

"Taisa,"

Roy turned around. Riza was walking towards him.

He smiled weakly. "Hi Lieutenant." He started to walk off. "Well, have a merry Christmas."

"Wait."

He turned around. "Hm?"

"You know, you don't need mistletoe if you want me to kiss you."

With that, she kissed him. On the lips. A little surprised at first, he soon returned the kiss. After they broke off, she smiled.

"Merry Christmas Taisa."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanza! And all those other random holidays that I don't know about!

(1)No Ed's were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Well, not much anyway.