Edgar Allan Poe lay dying in a ditch. He couldn't quite remember how he had gotten there, but he didn't feel good now. Maybe it had been the copious amounts of alcohol that he had consumed last night, or the drunken fight that he could hardly remember getting into, but he felt like he was going to die.
He was going to die? The thought of death scared Poe senseless. He feared nothing else in the world; he was the most accomplished writer in all of the world, and he knew that he would be remembered for years to come for his enthralling, gripping short stories, deep and meaningful poetry, and, of course, the genius that was his literary criticism. But thoughts of death had plagued him throughout his life, first after his mother's early demise, and later during the terrible disease of his wife. Death was the one thing that could take him down, shove him into some unreachable corner of the universe where no one would remember who he was. But how could he escape from the certain fate before him? Of course, Poe knew that everyone eventually died, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea that he himself, a glowing light on the face of human existence, could be snuffed out in an instant.
Suddenly, as Poe lay there in that dirty ditch, a thought struck him. The perfect escape from death, a guarantee that the Grim Reaper would never take him as it had taken those before him. Edgar Allan Poe would become a vampire. Vampires were immortal, could never be hurt, and, best of all, were just as depressed and melodramatic as he was.
So, Poe set out on his quest to vampire-hood; he traveled over distant lands and rivers to the super-secret lair of the vampires. He arrived after days and weeks and months of dramatically grueling travel in front of a large, red door the color of blood. He reached out a hand tentatively and knocked upon the door. Almost immediately, the door swung open to reveal a man with pale skin and a mane of long, dark hair. The immortal soul, Kylo Ren.
Kylo Ren, the vampire known through all the lands as the most dramatic and tortured vampire of them all, stood before Poe. Poe only started at him for an instant before the man beckoned for Poe to enter, almost as if he knew what, or who, Poe was there to do.
"Hello," started Poe confidently, "I have come from a distant land to seek your assistance."
The pale man stood there in the darkness, shirtless, with black leggings pulled up way too high. Intrigued, Poe studied him. In some way, he resembled a box. But...a rather alluring box, with the way the black fabric of his leggings hugged the curves of his muscular body. Poe's eyes ran up Kylo's body, lingering on the sizeable bulge in his pants. Suddenly, the thought of the vampire biting him didn't seem so bad.
"Make me immortal," Poe whispered seductively, "I have spent my life bracing myself for death, and you are the only one who can save me from this fate."
The man still said nothing, instead staring into Poe's alluring eyes. He moved closer and closer to Poe, until they were so close that Poe could feel his breath brushing his cheek.
"Bite me," begged Poe.
In an instant, his teeth were at Poe's neck as he sucked the life out of him. But his teeth were not the only thing inside Poe.
In his final mortal breath, Poe whispered, "Thank you."