Of Jelly and Drag Queens

Michelle Evelyn Fortis raced down the hall, barely dodging a suit of armor and a group of students. Silver and green scarf trailing behind her, she skidded and stopped in front of a door around which a large group of students were assembled. Panting heavily, she slumped against the wall and sighed.

"Made it!" she thought, triumphant. "Not even Peeves could mess me up today!" From behind her, she heard a voice that seemed to be as out of breath as she felt.

"Oi, Elle!" gasping for air, her seemingly impromptu running partner bent over, trying to get oxygen into his lungs.

"Yes?" she replied, raising a sardonic eyebrow at the Gryffindor.

"Where's the fire? You ran like a herd of hippogriffs were after you! You didn't even finish Breakfast." handing her a small bundle of food, wrapped in a stolen napkin, he grinned. "Here, I brought toast."

Elle sighed and took the offered food. "I've had three tardies this month, Sirius, and McGonagall said that if I was late again, for any class, that I would have detention for a week. If I weren't aware that she is painfully fair, I'd assume she had it out for me."

Sirius shook his head and mumbled through a mouthful of toast. "She has it out for everyone, even us. What made you tardy? You're never late for class, it's rather annoying."

"I know, I know," swallowing her own food, and wishing, briefly, for some pumpkin juice. "but Alan keeps pulling me aside to try and snog, and I can't find a way to tell him I want to break it off. He's not listening to me when I say that I have things to do. I swear, I can't stand him anymore, but… Well, I don't like hurting people."

Sirius held up a hand, doing his best to school his features to a mask of impassive attention. "I know, you don't need to explain." Elle had shared a few facts about her last relationship, and it'd taken all of his control to not punt the bastard into the forbidden forest. She didn't even tell her Brother, and Elle told Roni everything. The bastard, a Slytherin, like Elle, had taken advantage of Elle's trust while she was asleep on the couch in the common room, and when she woke up, he had his hands in her shirt. Sirius rarely needed a reason to loathe a member of that house, but that had set him off.

The month of detention had been worth it, just to see her smile for a moment when she heard. Salem Freeman wasn't much better than the last bastard in Sirius' book, and that was saying something, as he generally liked his housemates. He and Elle had never actually dated, though he'd taken her to Hogsmeade, and sent her notes. He'd sit with her in class, and got her a bracelet on one of their dates, but never actually said that they were dating. After about three months, she was about to ask him officially, because the stringing along was driving her nuts. He got there first, and sent her a note in the middle of arithmancy. The professor was notorious for not accepting note passing, and read it to the entire class. "We're not dating, and we're not going to." It had crushed her, and the entire school talked about it for weeks. While she was the center of school gossip, she kept away from the Gryffindors, even Sirius. That's what sealed Salem's fate for the Marauders.

The door opened to reveal the History of Magic classroom and Professor Binns, though how a ghost opened the door, Sirius couldn't figure out. The students filed into the classroom and as the Professor began to drone on, Sirius felt Elle rest her head on his shoulder. It wasn't until she began to breathe deeply that Sirius felt the riot in his stomach start to settle down.

Sirius, allowing his mind to drift, looked across the room at Salem Freeman with great distaste. He never did tell Elle that he and the Marauders were responsible for the bastard's weekly torture, but he suspected she would figure it out on her own. Whenever they pulled a prank on the guy, she gave Sirius a severe look before bursting into laughter.

Each of the four boys took turns orchestrating and pulling pranks on Freeman, each trying to top the others, but usually they shared the secret of what it was. This time, however, James had only told them where and when it would happen. Sirius looked over at his best mate in expectation and almost snorted at the look on his face.

Complete and utter confusion, with a dash of frustration for good measure. Evidently, something had gone wrong. James had pulled out what looked like a small black box with buttons on it. He was looking up in expectation, but when nothing happened he sighed and looked at the box again. Sirius couldn't help but wonder what in the name of Merlin was going on. Professor Binns glided around the classroom, a few inches off the ground, and Sirius was beginning to yawn. He usually got his best naps in History of Magic, but just as he put his head on top of Elle's the entire classroom erupted. Sirius' eyes flew open to be graced what could only be described as 'genius'. Most of the people that were awake were on the floor in laughter, and the ones who had managed to remain upright were waking up their partners so they could see the spectacle. Elle bolted straight up at the noise and shouted in a daze, " The Goblin Wars, Professor!"

Sirius snickered and pointed in Freeman's direction before Elle could punch him for laughing at her. Sirius looked up at his housemate again as he turned around. The young man was covered in a neon pink, jelly like substance. As it dripped onto his robes it began to spell things out.

"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message." then changing to, "My teeth are brighter than I am."

His current girlfriend was looking at him with a mixture of glee at seeing him like this, and worry about how this might affect her social standing. Airing on the side of caution, she gave him a cloth and helped him wipe the gel off his robes. Upon wiping it all off, his head seemed to disappear behind a screen of fog, reappearing with a thick coating of drag make-up. Complete with wig and accessories. Genius.

One of the 'Gossip Girls' as Sirius had named them turned with what looked to be a camera, taking a few pictures and showing them to her friends, laughing.

James had either picked the perfect timing, or orchestrated it, and Sirius would have bet his broom that the photo, and the story, would be all over the school by dinner and wouldn't be over for a week at least. Elle ended up on the floor laughing, and clutching her sides. Eventually, Professor Binns established order, but there was only fifteen minutes left until the bell by then.

Elle kept giggling through the rest of class, mostly because of the fact that Freeman couldn't get the stuff off his face, and she wasn't wasn't able to stop until they got to Divination, which he didn't share with them. Elle pulled Sirius over to a table at the back before the professor could spot them. They sat and Elle put her head in her arms to go back to sleep. Sirius decided that sleep sounded very appealing, and so he mimicked her. They were both asleep within minutes.

(A.N. Hello beloved readers- this is a rewrite of a piece I began back in high-school, which was resurrected by a combination of my real life brother, and his friend Danny [Hai Danny!] I gave the two of them a choice- either the cliff notes on what happened (as I never finished the story) or a rewrite. They clearly chose the second option, with apparent elation. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see some feedback from you!

Dahlia Aed)