Characteristic to their relationship, their lovemaking is loud. It's teasing and quips and giggling one night, moaning and gasping and the bedsprings squeaking entirely too loud another night, the smoke alarm going off as she bore down on him on the kitchen floor one lovely afternoon. Or all in one day. He's not picky.
It's perfect, this life with his bunny. It has only ever gotten better the moment they met - after a few bumps in the road here and there. He loves his job, he loves their home, he loves her. It can be dangerous and frustrating, but it is also beautiful and worth it all. It is perfect.
Occasionally he thinks he's pulled off the ultimate hustle to live the way he does now. On the rare mornings he's awake before she is, he watches her breathe. There is no way he's not on the streets and in the dusk blue uniform of the police, badge glinting off his breastbone. There is no way he has a roof over his head consistently; an actual one, not the roof of Finnick's van. There is no way he shares this roof with a rabbit - no way he is in love with her - and there's a snowball's chance in hell that she loves him back.
Yet, they are here.
He is bowled over, overcome, every quiet morning like this. It is too good to be true.
He is afraid of the moment he slips up and she vanishes from his life, when all of this splinters. He is afraid it is inevitable. he's lost lots of good things before - why not her, too? He takes every moment they have together and hoards them close to his chest, for safekeeping, because he doesn't deserve this. What has he done to deserve this?
Everything, he hears her voice in his head say, warm and loving, and he tries so hard to believe it.
The soft thunk of her head against the mattress and a paw on his cheek catches his attention. Blinking out of his thoughts, he meets her half lidded gaze. Want curls in the pit of his stomach. They are half undressed; they made their way from the couch to their bed like blushing teenagers, all roaming paws and giggling, a trail of clothing in their wake.
"You're far away tonight," she murmurs. "You've got a willing bunny in your claws, and it's like you're looking right past me."
The slight curve to her mouth means she's joking, but he presses harder into her immediately, guilt flashing through him for getting distracted. He is so eager to please, and he thinks it might be an unconscious attempt at convincing her to stay - as if she needed to be convinced.
The con man in him thinks so. he blocks the voice out.
"Sorry, love," he replies with a wry grin, enjoying the way she arches her body against him. "Just thinking."
"About what?" Her legs draw up on either side of his thighs, curve around his back. He nips gently at her jawline and relishes the shudder.
"You," he purrs, overdoing the sultriness, and she laughs.
"If it was anyone else i'd kick you." She tilts one of her feet to toe at the waistband of his boxers. "off, please."
He obliges, hungrily peeling her panties down her legs after she sits up to unclasp her bra. He surges back over her when they reach for each other at the same time. He wants to prove himself to her, to prove that he can give her whatever she asks for, to prove that he is worthy of her. Their lips and tongues meet and it takes his breath away, as it always does.
She has a paw in the fur of his chest and the other thrown upwards, gripping at the pillow as he pets one paw down her body towards the junction of her thighs. They kiss sloppily, the tip of his finger dipping shallowly into her in a steady rhythm.
"You're so wet," he breathes, reverent. He brings his paw up to taste and judy's eyes darken at the glimpse of his tongue.
"And you're a tease," she grouses. Her hips flex to encourage him. "More."
He goes faster and she shakes her head and reaches down to push his finger in deeper. She groans at the slight stretch, paws roaming up his back.
"That's it, Nick. C'mon." He is so much bigger than her, and he is reminded every time they do this; he marvels that she trusts him this much, all sharp incisors and claws. The grip she has on his shoulders tightens and he ruts against the edge of the mattress, already beading moisture at the flutter of her when she clenches.
"God, you're perfect," he moans, licking at her neck. "So wet, so hot, just for me?"
Judy groans yes in return, doesn't notice how his voice tilts into a question. He moves down her body to suckle at her, circles the tip of his tongue around her clit and huffs a breath of laughter when her hips roll towards his mouth, eager and wanting. He laps around his fingers and the heady taste of her has him replacing his finger with his tongue instead, paws gripping at her thighs to keep them open.
She chants his name like prayer. nicknicknickpleasepleaseplease, oh please. don't stop.
He wants to reply never, never, not until you want me to, and a pang of fear cuts into him at the possibility that she might want that. He pushes that thought away and ups his enthusiasm until he can feel her start to shake, watches as she comes with a glorious arch of her back and his name a cry in her throat.
She's already pulling him up towards her, afterglow be damned. He's basically been grinding against the sheets for some kind of relief and they both moan heavily into each other's mouths when she guides him into her.
Slow, he reminds himself. Start slow. He shifts his hips gently, being careful not to press too hard because of her sensitivity. She sighs a little broken sigh into his ear and he nearly comes right there. Her paws slide to the dip in his back and guide him into a faster pace.
She's going to undo him. She already has, this amazing woman.
"Judy," he says, and she makes a strangled noise at the low rumble. "You're so perfect, you're so hot and tight and good, Judy, you feel so good." He's babbling. Can't keep his mouth shut for the life of him, even in bed.
Luckily she's right there with him, as ever, as always. "Oh, Nick, yes, right there," her paws fist in his fur. "God, you're so hard and thick, just p-perfect, ah -"
"I love you," he pants, the edge to his voice nearly a beg. "Please don't leave me, please stay," and her eyes open to look at him, almost confused as to where this request comes from. He's unbearably close to finishing already, but something in him steels.
He so desperately wants to hear her say it out loud - that she is his, he is hers, that this is real.
Of course, she tells him she loves him all the time. He knows all of this already. Yet he also knows why he's asking - the niggling voice of doubt will never go away, his mile wide insecurities a river he keeps making her jump across. He really shouldn't let it get to him. But he needs to hear her, just one more time.
It's a little pathetic, he thinks, to get off from reassurance. But here he is. His kinks are trust and love.
Her paws that dug into his shoulders now slide into his ruff, comforting and steady. Behind her blown pupils, the purple of her irises indigo with pleasure, he sees her understand.
"I'm not going anywhere," she breathes, and his hips stutter as he whines low in his throat.
"I love you, I'm yours, Nick, I'm - oh, yours -" His pace now is hard and fast, a bonfire burning in him at the sound of her voice. He buries his face into her neck and his arms wrap around her back tightly.
"There's no one else I want," she says, and a groan tears itself from his chest. "There's no one else I could ever love. I love you, nick, it's always going to be you."
"Mine," he growls, his voice low and rough and wrecked. It's all he can say right now. he can feel her clenching around him, and he feels the pressure build. They're so close.
"Yours," she agrees, pushing at his face so their eyes meet, and it's too much. He sees the desire and love he feels for her reflected back onto him, lets his eyes clamp shut tight with pleasure when he comes harder than he ever has before. He feels her tremble once, twice, then follow him over the edge.
They come down from it in each other's arms. He slides out of her, gently, reaches for a clean towel Judy insists on keeping nearby for this very purpose. He wipes her down first, earning him a thankful smile before he cleans up.
They're back in their underwear and he curls around her like a parenthesis when she turns to him.
"Me leaving," she starts, her voice husky around the edges. "Is that what you were thinking of?" Of course his bunny would remember.
He averts his eyes and looks at her shoulder instead, focusing on the strap slipping ever so slightly down.
He trails a claw up to fix it. "I… just wanted to be reassured, I guess." he shrugs. She cocks an eyebrow.
"You know I love you."
"Do I know that? I do. More than anything, Carrots." Her eyes light at their shared joke. "It's like the number one fun fact I know." She giggles and happiness unfurls in his chest. It makes him feel brave.
"Okay," he continues, blowing out a shaky breath. "Well. It comes from feeling like I don't deserve all of - this," sweeping his arm in an arc.
"Oh, Nick."
"I know, I know. I just like to.. ground myself. Remind myself this is all real and I'm not tricking you into it. When you've got abandonment issues and insecurities like mine.. well."
"Well?"
"Love is pretty much the ultimate hustle, sweetheart." Her eyebrows raise, incredulous. "Okay, not exactly, but I'm jaded." She snorts a little and he affectionately rolls his eyes. "There's a very real chance i can mess up and all of this falls apart."
"We've both made our fair share of mistakes, and we've been able to work through them all so far," she points out, but all Nick can think of is all of his mistakes - shouting, misunderstanding, miscommunication, jealousy - and only a few of hers. That interview, when they first met.
He concedes. "Fair. but what if we can't? What happens then?" Her expression hardens and suddenly he's worried he's made another mistake and what if this is the one that makes them fall apart oh god -
"I don't see that as as option, actually." he's about to ask how could she not, they can be so stubborn sometimes, before she continues. "Every time we've disagreed, we've always kept in mind our relationship is important and neither of us would ever want to compromise that as we work it out. I'd like to think that we'll keep doing that if anything else pops up -" Nick kisses her, quick, and she's smiling again.
"I take it you agree with me?"
"yes," and it comes out almost a sigh. "Clever bunny. My insecurities just get loud sometimes."
"That's okay. Silly fox," she presses a kiss to his nose. He loves her. he loves her so, so much. "We're in this together."
Together. Nothing has ever felt so right.