Characters: Nightwing/Dick, Tim/Robin, Garfield/Beast Boy, Batgirl/Barbra, La'gann/Lagoon Boy, Kaldur/Aqualad, Garth/Tempest, M'gann/Martian Girl, Superboy/Conner, Artemis, Batman/Bruce, Flash/Barry, Kid Flash/Wally, Impulse/Bart, Jaime/Blue Beetle, Cassie/Wonder Girl, Wonder Woman/Diana, Black Canary/Dinah, Green Arrow/Oliver(Ollie), Aquaman/King Orin/Arthur, Batgirl/Barbra, Roy/Red Arrow, Green Lantern/Hal Jordan, Green Lantern/John Stewart, Captain Marvel/Billy, Superman/Clark, Kyle/Green Lantern, Atom/Ray, and Question.
Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Hurt/Comfort, and plain old Drama.
Pairing(s): None; other than the obvious pairings of Season 2.
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Summary: Kaldur is dead, and Nightwing has to tell inform every one of the plan, so that Kaldur can die and be remembered as a hero. But all Nightwing can feel is pain, because Kaldur's dead, and never coming back.
Author's Note: I know, I know, too many death fics involving Kaldur, but I'm sorry. I love imagining how the team and the league would react to finding out that Kaldur's dead, and was a good guy all along. And yes I've been delaying my other stories, because I think I suck at writing Billy or any of the Young Justice characters, and until I get over that inferior feeling, my updates will be delayed for a short while. And I also love writing about Kaldur's death from Nightwing's view, it's the only thing I'm awesome at. But a deep part of me keeps feeling that Kaldur will die in Season 2.
Warning: Major Character Death. Spoilers for Season 2.
It's crazy, Nightwing knows that. It's crazy for them to think that they had a chance of succeeding without losing one of them. And Dick knows Kaldur, if Artemis had been nearing death; the Atlantean would have exchanged his life to keep her from dying, to keep Wally from suffering just like Kaldur had.
Nightwing wants to be in Gotham, he doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to be the one telling the team, telling everyone who knew nothing about this whole ordeal, that Kaldur had died fighting for a cause that was too noble, that his death should be remembered as a hero's sacrifice rather than the unfortunate end of a villain. He didn't want to tell them that Artemis had never died, that it was all part of the plan, the plan he and Kaldur had come up with after Tula's death.
Because Nightwing, had never wanted Kaldur to do it, the risks were too high, he never told Wally about this, but during the dark nights, he'd wish he never said yes. It hurt even more knowing that he was the one who sent Kaldur to his death.
Sure they had captured Black Manta, and taken down most of the Light, but Nightwing is only plagued with the question Wally had once asked him 3 years ago, before he left the team with Artemis, "At what cost are you willing you to make sure the mission is a success? At whose life will you be willing to trade off, to make sure the mission will not fail? You must understand Dick; the cost will be too great for a mission to succeed. And even then, the only thought you'll be wondering about is "Was it worth it?" the cost of your teammate's life, for the mission, will it be worth it Dick?"
He never answered Wally back, because to Nightwing sacrifice was something one had to do to help save others, to prevent a more disastrous future, to keep the hope going on. But if Wally asked, Nightwing was sure he'd answer "No"; because the memory of Kaldur looking pale, veins sticking out, eyes dilated, lips trying to form sounds, and the never-ending flow of blood, wasn't something he had ever wanted to see. Not from Kaldur, not from Wally, not from Roy, not from Artemis, M'gann or even Conner. He didn'teven want to imagine any of the younger members in such a position, especially not Tim or Barbra; he doesn't think his heart could handle the pain of such a loss.
But one fact remained true, Kaldur was dead. The mission had succeeded, but at a high cost. "Was it worth it?" Nightwing would ask himself sometimes, and he'd always answer "no, no, it was never worth his life". But Kaldur is dead, and Nightwing is here in the Watchtower. He has to be the one to tell them, because the original owner of the plan is dead, and only Nightwing knew the full details of the plan, not even Wally or Artemis had known that much, because they never wanted to be involved, well Wally didn't.
It still changed nothing. He takes a deep breath, as Tim's smile cracks and the younger asks hesitantly "Nightwing? Are you-" and Nightwing cuts him off with a finger pressed against his lips as he utters "Not now Tim".
He's angry at Wally for quitting all those years ago, Wally his best friend, who'd left with his girlfriend to live a normal life, and Nightwing seethes from within, because he remembers when Wally used to really love the superhero life, when Wally and him had each other's back. After Wally left, Kaldur had backed him up, and when Kaldur left, Conner took over, but no one understood him better than Wally or Kaldur did, maybe Roy once did, but everything' changed, everyone changed, even he has changed, Wally had changed, and Nightwing hates that even more, that Roy, who made the decision to leave them behind, to go solo, had not taken such a drastic character change like Wally had.
He was angrythat Kaldur had died, angry that his friend had left him alone, to deal with becoming a leader. Because Dick could never be Kaldur, could never best the great Aqualad. He couldn't always say yes, he couldn't always smile and ask the team what was wrong out of the sincerity in his heart instead of obligation; he could never ignore hurtful words like Kaldur always did, because Dick wasn't Kaldur, and he'd never be good enough to compare to how great Kaldur had been to them. Nightwing had never felt good enough to compare, because despite what anyone said to him about him being a good leader, it was always Kaldur who was better, deep in his heart he knew it, believed it, and hated it so much, because those leadership skills that Kaldur had were the same ones that led to the plan being created, the plan that had ended Kaldur's life, and Nightwing feels broken, so completely and utterly broken. He hated being leader, despite how great he was at leading, even when Batman could complement him, and tell him "You did a great job." The words would fall on deaf ears.
Because it was Kaldur, through and through, who had understood him, who understood the responsibilities, who carried them for Dick, when he was too young, and scared to do so. Kaldur who watched out for him and now Dick had no one. And Wally, Wally had left Dick alone with the job of training and working with strangers. Only Conner and M'gann stayed, and not because they didn't want to leave, it's because they could never fit in. Kaldur had, and left to help them win, and now Kaldur was a corpse.
He watches as the door opens, and all kinds of superheroes –he only called upon the ones who had gotten to meet Kaldur, or were important enough, that they needed to be there- fill the room. He even notices the founding members entering, while Tim and the other Young Justice members looked wary.
Conner is gazing at him, pale blue eyes dark, and the stiff stance that had surrounded him, didn't even dare to show the pain that Nightwing knew Conner was hiding. Nightwing felt sick, because Kaldur despite how it seemed like he had betrayed the others, had never lost Conner's faith in him, because Kaldur was a brother to Conner, a friend, a confidant, a leader, and a teammate. Nightwing knew how hard it would be to ever believe that Kaldur wasn't, and feels his lips tremble at the strong faith that Conner has in each of them, and wonders if the faith will remain, after Nightwing tells them of his, and Kaldur's plan. M'gann looks sad, tears filling her eyes, as she kept biting her lips, stroking Garfield's hair gently, while the younger clutched on to M'gann like a lifeline. Blue Beetle remained impassive, along with Bumble Bee. La'gann was looking all dark and broody, with his arms crossed over one another, but his eyes remained glassy. Impulse looked like he wanted to flee any moment, his expression full of guilt, and Nightwing wonders if Bart had known something about this future. Tim is still trying to stay bright, and optimistic, but he is failing because of the depressing atmosphere surrounding them. Batgirl is frowning, clearly upset, -because she was one of the new members that had known Kaldur before he quit-, while Wonder Girl is hugging herself, looking downright miserable, Dick looks away...
Across the room, he spots Billy changing from Captain Marvel into his 16-year-old self. He noticed Garth dressed in maroon robes, leaning against a wall, a scowl on his face, with his eyes closed; he's slightly surprised that Garth had even shown up, but makes no comment. Along the eastern corner, he spots Roy, head against the wall, looking angry, and so full of hurt that Nightwing instantly looks away. His heart stings in pain, he remembers that Roy was Kaldur's best friend, and Roy knew nothing about this –the plan- and Nightwing doubted that Kaldur had told Roy. But he was sure that Roy would not be pleased when Nightwing tells him-them, everything. But he's not sure if Roy would be angry, or sad first, he doesn't want to know, and turns his head.
He spots both the Green Lanterns discussing something with the youngest Lantern, both their faces stern, and bothered. He notices that Billy is conversing with Tim, trying to keep the mood light, but Billy's eyes are filled with much sadness, and understanding for Nightwing not to know that Billy is also trying to be strong for Tim and the rest of Young Justice. His stomach lurches, and his heart tightens painfully, because Billy was only 16, and here he was looking like Kaldur, carrying all the burdens on his shoulders. He hates it, because he wants to remember a smiling Billy, not a sad one.
The door closes, with Batman and Superman following Wally and Artemis, who was still wearing the necklace. And Nightwing cannot breathe, because even though Batman might've suspected such a plan occurring, Dick had told no one of it, other than Wally and Artemis. And Nightwing knows that by telling them, he would be open to all their anger, hurt, tears, and their feelings of betrayal, for allowing them to believe that Kaldur was a criminal instead of correcting them, and that everything would fall into place.
Nightwing grits his teeth, and prepares himself for the explanation. Wally rushes to him, adorning his Kid Flash costume, but not the familiar red and yellow, but the black one he had created for stealth missions. Artemis looks worried, her eyes red from crying, while Wally beside her, looks like he hasn't slept in days. And Nightwing wonders how he must look, because he hasn't been able to sleep at all in the past week, he hasn't been able to keep anything down after Kaldur had died. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to sleep, after this. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to live with the fact that he'll never hear Kaldur utter "Forgive me my King" in that soft yet calm voice of his, that he won't ever be able to see Kaldur frown in confusion, or laugh at Wally's attempts to make him laugh. He hates the thought of never being able to celebrate Kaldur's upcoming birthday, or any birthdays at all...
He starts, throat burning him, eyes stinging behind his mask, and chest hurting painfully. "Thank you all for coming." wincing slightly when his voice cracked in the end.
He holds his breath, and starts again. This time calmer, "Before yesterday, a hero died in the guise of a villain. As a villain, he called himself...Devil Ray...as a hero; he died as Kaldur'ahm of Atlantis, better yet known as Aqualad." His breathing becomes heavier, as his eyes blur with tears that want to fall. Artemis grabs his hand, and nods at him, already crying freely. Wally just looks dead. A voice calls from the back "What do you mean a hero? Didn't Devil Ray cause the death of hundreds of Kroteans?!" and Nightwing glares at the crowd, wishing he could locate the person, before replying coldly "And if it wasn't for him, most of us would have died that day. We had 3 minutes, he had found out about the bomb two minutes previous, he had been fighting me then, and informed me of the bomb. Now tell me, if he had not told me, and I had not told the others, how many of us would've died along with the Kroteans that day, I'm sure most of us would have not come back alive, and all that would've been left of us would be ashes." A cold silence fills the room, before murmurs slight being to spread throughout the crowd.
But Nightwing isn't in the mood for that, and slams his hand against the table he was standing in front of, hard. "Enough." and when the silence begins again, he goes on. "Kaldur had been a mole working with us, against the Light. He had formed the idea after Tula's death, he felt guilty that he could not save her, and told me that he didn't blame me, but I still couldn't forgive myself. He told me if I didn't agree to his plan, I might as well wallow in misery and spend the rest of my life in self-loathing or I could help him; my guilt wouldn't let me, leave him alone with no one to help him, so I agreed. He knew the risks, and despite how much I disagreed, he said someone had to do it. If it had not been Tula, it would have been any one of us instead, and he said "I cannot bear to watch my fellow friends and teammates die, when I could have done something". Tula's death had given him a good reason to want to switch sides, a good reason that his father –Black Manta- would believe without a lot of doubts. I told him that making himself to become a villain wasn't something anyone of us had wanted, he refused to let go of the plan, and so we-we..." and the words die in his throat.
He scowls instantly, and gives his back to the crowd of superheroes watching, ignoring Artemis's soft utters of "Dick. You feelin' okay?" because he wasn't, how could anyone be? How could anyone understand the loss they've went through?
And before Nightwing can try to find the words to continue, Wally speaks, voice filled with bitter anger, and regret "We let everyone believe that Kaldur had killed Artemis, when in fact, Artemis had been helping Kaldur undercover. We had to get Black Manta to believe that Kaldur had completely turned evil, and for Black Manta to believe Kaldur, everyone else had to believe he was a killer." Wally stops to remove the necklace gently from around Artemis's neck.
The gasps that echo throughout the room, make the knots in Nightwing's stomach tighten, and he makes sure not to gaze at Zatanna's accusing eyes, or M'gann's hurt expression. Artemis's hair falls down gently against her black vest, and Nightwing is sure M'gann has already started crying by now.
Wally goes on, uncaring of anyone's reactions. "And everyone did. The hate, anger, sadness, and betrayal had now become real. Real enough, for most of Young Justice and the Justice League to consider Kaldur, as seriously as they would take fighting any other villain, and not an ally gone rogue. Could any of you even imagine how he must have felt?!" and this time, Wally's yell causes people to flinch, and a few tears to slips past his face. "Of course you couldn't. He had to endure years of loneliness, suffering, and isolation to help us all win. To make sure the Light would not win; to make sure that we would not lose anyone like we had lost Tula. He suffered the pain of becoming an outcast, he dealt with the hatred, alone, no one was there, I wasn't there, Nightwing wasn't there, but Artemis was. Do you know how cruel the life he had lived down there was? Do you understand how it feels to betray your teammates, your family, and the people closest to you, to protect them, to give them a chance on winning a war that would have had too many casualties? He was alone; no one to remind him that it would be all okay. Do you know how he died? He was stabbed by the same man he betrayed to save Artemis. The same man all of you would call his father. And despite how grateful I am that she is still alive, I wonder, was it worth it? Letting us win, letting him die, was it all worth it?"
Wally chokes out "No it wasn't, because he isn't even here to celebrate our win. His guilt towards failing Tula ate him up every day while we were still in Young Justice, I couldn't even bear to watch him die, because he felt guilty. Why should he have to feel guilty? Tula died, and he wasn't there, he didn't stab her, he didn't kill her, so WHY SHOULD HE HAVE FELT GUILTY?! Why did he blame himself for something he could not have prevented? Because we would have, because Garth would have, because Aquaman would have, and because he didn't want Nightwing to...Kaldur has given this team more than any one of you ever will. He dedicated his life for a cause that would've seemed impossible, had he not taken all the risks that came with it. Each day, he'd spend it pretending, each day, he'd spend it wondering. Wondering how long he had to live a lie...how long he had to hurt everyone he loved." Wally pauses, and his tears are streaming across his cheeks like a river.
Nightwing chokes on air, because Wally's words ring true, so true, it hurts for someone to say them out loud. And everyone looks sad, and angry. Nightwing's heart hurts more. Nightwing presses a trembling hand to Wally, and Wally moves away to hug Artemis, who holds on tightly to Wally, as if they were each other's life line, and Dick is almost envious of what they have with one another, before looking away from them, ignoring the pain he felt.
He blinked away his tears and continued loud, and clear "He wanted to be the one to tell all of you, that he was sorry for lying. He wanted to be there in the end when we had won, but Kaldur was an idiot, and always sacrificed himself for us. Always took care of us. Do you know that after every mission, he would ask 'Nightwing has any of the team been harmed?' every time I'd answer 'No' he'd smile and utter 'Thank Poseidon. I am glad that none of you have been injured on my account.' which would only make me feel guiltier. Here was a hero, here was my friend, who sacrificed everything for us. And most of you didn't know how great was his sacrifice, because he didn't want the plan to fail. He wanted us to win. And win we have. But if I'm being honest with all of you, I feel like the biggest loser in this room".
He smiles sadly now, as a few tears escape his eyes again, and wet his mask. "I lost one of my closest friends, and this time, I have no chance of getting him back. So we may have won against the Light, but I feel like the Light has won, no matter what, our cost to succeed will always be far too great a cost." He stops to take a deep breath and utters to Wally, "You had asked me once, was it worth it? I never answered you, because for me, the answer was 'No' despite how much I understand the meaning of sacrifice. I would never like to win at the loss of my teammate, I'd have rather sacrificed myself than let him die."
"His last words were 'I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate our success my friends. Tell my King and Queen that I am sorry for everything. Tell M'gann I am sorry for not being the leader she deserved. Tell Garth that I am sorry for his loss, and if I could have done anything, I would have saved her. Tell my mother and father I love them. And for Conner, Roy, and all of you, you made this all worthwhile, I am glad to have died fighting for a future where you'd all be able to keep living. And I am sorry that I wasn't there-' before he choked on his blood and died. His death was painful, and it wasn't something that I had wanted to watch. But all 3 of us had to. We buried him beside the ocean. He had once said he loved the shore more than anything, because it brought him closer to both his home in the ocean and the one he had on land. He died with a smile, despite the blood that stained his lips and jaw." And Nightwing lets out a deep breath, because it hurts to breathe, hurts to think of Kaldur, without feeling so sad, so useless, and hopeless.
"He died smiling to help us win. So I hope that matters, to all of you..." while trailing off his words. His throat hurt, his tears stung more, and the fact that all he saw was red and black, before he was engulfed into a hug by Batgirl, only made him bite his lips hard, trying not to let out a sob.
One fact rang throughout the whole room, as the sobs and silence echoed; 'Aqualad was dead and never coming back'.
To Be Continued...
Author's Note:
I wrote this story when I was feeling all depressed. I'm not sure when I'm gonna carry on with it. But I wanted to show something similar to 'Mission Failure' -a story where Kaldur also died-, but focusing more on the emotions behind the actual death.I included a lot of characters, because I wanted to write about how every Justice League & Young Justice League member would react.
The 1st one is Nightwing/Dick, I'm thinking that Wally/Kid Flash will be next. This is going to take a long time, but I hope I did Nightwing a good job, because I thought that they'd all react hard to the death of Kaldur. About 6 or 7 years Nightwing has known Kaldur, so of course losing him would hurt.
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