Welcome to Still Alive: Terumi's Gag Reel!
If you guys play BlazBlue, then you should know what a Gag Reel is.
Now, this story does not have a connection with Still Alive in any way.
Okay...maybe just a tiny bit. But seriously though, it's just full of randomness, and I'm not going to say more than that!
Anyway, I hope you guys'll enjoy. It's not much, but it is what it is, right?
I do not own RWBY nor BlazBlue.
-IIXII-
It was a beautiful day.
A beautiful day indeed for Yuuki Terumi.
No bitches who thought that they were all high and mighty to order him around, no guys in red coats chasing after him with their big swords, no vessels trying to kill him for what he did, and no people trying to hunt him down for revenge after getting their ass handed to them.
And the weather was great, so there's that.
"Finally, I can take a freaking break from all the things I did in life."
A small smile settled itself across his face.
"Let's see what I can find in this lousy excuse of a city." Terumi stretched a bit, before letting out a small groan. "Dammit. My back is murdering me. I really need to find a place to stay. An alley ain't a proper place for someone like me to be sleeping in, after all."
After somehow entering this new world just a few days ago after his fight with Hakumen, Terumi hadn't even bothered to find a place to stay, let alone a decent job. The thought of him getting a job sounded beyond ridiculous, stupid even. Rather than work, why not just steal instead? It's a whole lot easier that way.
Besides, it's not like the pay was any good.
"Tch. Who needs a lame job anyway?" he grumbled, but was startled a bit when a low growl came from his stomach. "Shit. I haven't eaten anything in days," muttered Terumi, "I need to handle this somehow..."
However, when nothing came to mind, Terumi ultimately decided to just simply ignore the fact that he was starving and walked around some more, only to give in when another growl came from his stomach seconds later.
"Will you just shut up!?" Terumi yelled at his stomach, receiving stares and weird looks from the people all around without knowing. "Damn it all to hell. Just where the hell am I supposed to find a perfect place to eat?"
As if on cue, a small family restaurant could be seen nearby from where he was. Noticing this, a cruel grin crept across his face as an idea formed inside his mind. A brilliant idea, if he might add.
"Maybe I'll just go get myself a bit of free food in that restaurant...hehe..."
And with that, Terumi slowly made his way to the restaurant, a wide devilish grin plastered across his face.
"This'll be good."
-IIXII-
"Man, today has been busy."
"Neptune, less talking and more working! We have customers waiting!"
"Shut it, Sun! You're not my boss!"
"But I'm your senior, so get to work," Sun ordered with a glare, causing his blue-haired partner to grumble a few things under his breath. "Listen Neptune, if it weren't for me, then you'd still be out there looking for a decent job. Now do me a favor and stop complaining!"
"Whatever," was all Neptune said as he occupied himself with the dishes.
Sun sighed at his partner's behavior, and later took note of Scarlet making his way towards where he was with a nervous expression. He tilted his head to one side, the look of worry clearly shown across his features. "Dude, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's bothering you?" he asked.
"Um...there's this intimidating guy at table number two. He told me he wanted to order a bowl of boiled eggs," Scarlet said, sweating a bit as he added, "But in all seriousness, that guy gives me an uneasy feeling for some reason."
Upon hearing this from his teammate, Sun narrowed his eyes, and decided to take a good look at the guy who was seated at table number two. And there he was, sitting at the table, wearing a yellow cloak with black markings of all things. In all honesty, he had never encountered anything like this before. With the cloak and all, the man looked like a serial killer. That being said, he could clearly see how uneasy the customers around him were feeling.
"Well then, let's not keep him waiting." Sun pointed his finger at the kitchen. "Tell Sage about the new order. I need to keep my eyes on that guy. My monkey instincts are telling me that he's up to something."
Scarlet fixed the blond faunus with a blank stare. "You serious?"
"Just go tell Sage already!"
-IIXII-
"Man...this place is a freakin' dump."
Terumi scanned his surroundings with little interest, and soon landed his eyes on a small kid just a few tables away from him. From what he could see, the little brat was drinking a glass of soda with a straw, and only seconds later did he finally notice his stare.
Not knowing what to do, the boy opted to simply wave at him.
Upon noticing this, Terumi gave the small child a terrifying grin with his head held high. Slowly, he pulled out a knife from his sleeve, staring into the kid's eyes with his serpentine ones.
"Hey brat, I'll kill you."
A loud shattering noise could be heard as the glass fell onto the cold floor, gaining everyone's attention.
The poor child was frozen in utter shock with his eyes widened in terror, biting down on the straw in his mouth with his hand not moving away from its original position.
"Ash!? Are you okay!?" The child's mother started shaking his shoulders back and forth, but he didn't respond, let alone move.
Terumi quickly covered his mouth to contain his laughter. He kept the knife back in his pocket with his free hand, and began to slam his fist down onto the table repeatedly while he silently laughed. "Hehe...the look on his face was priceless!"
"Um...sir?"
"Huh?" Looking up, Terumi's gaze landed on a blond guy staring down at him with a tray in his hands. The tail which was poking out at the back of his pants caught his attention, but he then quickly redirected his gaze onto the tray he was holding.
And there it was. The bowl filled with boiled eggs. They're just waiting to be devoured.
Now, time to proceed with the plan.
Not giving a rat's ass, Terumi snatched the tray away from Sun's hands and devoured the eggs like there's no tomorrow. Finishing his meal, Terumi rose up from his chair, and jumped out the nearest window.
"Later!"
The entire restaurant went silent. To say that Sun and the others were shocked was truly an understatement, as they weren't quite sure how to take in the thing that had just transpired right in front of their very eyes.
But as seconds flew by, something finally clicked in Sun's mind. Taking out Ruyi Bang and Jingu Bang from the counter, he immediately ran outside the entrance of the restaurant. "That eat and run bastard! Get him!" he exclaimed.
Neptune and Scarlet, who saw the whole thing, took out their own weapons and ran out the door as well, following their leader's example.
With the three already out chasing after the dine and dasher, Sage slowly came out of the kitchen with a nervous look on his features.
"Uh...guys? I think the eggs are bad. It seems to me that it's been in the kitchen for six months now. They smell funny and..."
Sage raised an eyebrow upon noticing that his teammates were nowhere to be seen.
"Guys?"
-IIXII-
"Hyahaha! I did it! I fucking did it!"
"You bastard! Get back here and pay!" Aiming his rifle at the dine and dasher, Neptune pulled the trigger of his weapon and fired off a few shots. "Don't think you can escape from us!"
"Shit!" Terumi lowered his head just in time to avoid one of the shots, and later taunted, "Is that all you got!? Haha! That was pathetic!"
"Stop! Thief!" Scarlet took aim with his weapon and fired, only to miss when his target dodged the round with ease. "Dust dammit! Just pay already!"
"Never! Besides, I ain't got money!"
"You villain! You'll pay for this!" Sun shouted in pure rage and started swinging his weapons around wildly, which unintentionally made him look like a complete idiot. And not long after that, he ended up hitting Neptune in the face by accident. "I have no regrets!"
"Dammit Sun!" Neptune yelled.
"Hyahaha! You losers!"
"You take that back!" Scarlet roared in anger.
"As if! You guys-" Terumi furrowed his eyebrows when his stomach began to growl. "Huh?"
Not long after that, he felt pain.
A lot of pain.
"Ow! What the hell!?" Terumi held his stomach and stopped dead in his tracks. "Ugh...what is this feeling? W-What is this!?"
"Now, pay up," Sun said, who stood alongside his two teammates in the near distance. But all he received from Terumi was a painful groan, and he was unprepared when the guy suddenly took off without warning.
"Shit! I need a fucking toilet!" Terumi exclaimed.
"H-Hey! Get back here!" Scarlet called out.
Terumi simply ignored them and kept on running, holding in the pain as he did. He looked around frantically, hoping that a public toilet was nearby.
"Crap...ugh..." he groaned, "Why the hell is this happening to me?"
But then, a familiar voice reached his ears.
"Carnage Scissors!"
"Fucking shit!" Terumi jumped just in time to avoid Blood-Scythe from tearing his body in half, before looking down at his attacker. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. "Ragna!? What the hell are you doing here!?"
"Not important!" Ragna snarled. With that, he joined the other three and chased after Terumi. "What's important right now is that I'm gonna beat the living hell out of you!"
Landing back on the ground with the help of Ouroboros, which increased the pain in his gut, Terumi continued to run. "Dammit! I don't have time for this shit! Where's a fucking toilet when you need one!?"
"Tōga Hyōjin!"
With a growl, Terumi blocked the ice blizzard by summoning a bunch of green serpents, which acted as a barrier between him and the blizzard. He then glared at his new attacker.
"Jin Kisaragi!? Fuck! I don't have time for this shit! How the hell did you get here anyway!?"
"I do not need to explain myself to you, nor do I care," Jin replied in a cold voice. He chased after him, joining the others. "What matters now is that I am here to end your pathetic existence. Be prepared."
"Jin!?" Ragna stared at the man, wide-eyed. "Y-You're here!?"
"Hello, my dear brother," Jin greeted with a crazed grin, which was then followed by a crazed laugh. "Let's kill this pathetic man together! Once that's over, we can finally go and kill each other!"
"Looks like I don't have so much of a choice. Let's fucking do it!" Ragna nodded in agreement, grinning devilishly as he did.
Terumi decided to pick up the pace upon hearing the two's short conversation, sweating bullets all the while. "Can things get any worse!?"
"Terumi!" Adam ran out of a nearby alley and started shooting at Terumi with Blush, pissed off beyond measure.
"You!" Winter called out somewhere from above, launching herself down at him with the help of her glyph afterwards. "I'll make sure to end your life!"
"For fuck's sake! This is not how I planned to spend my day!" growled Terumi.
"I am combat ready!" Penny exclaimed with a wide grin, blocking Terumi's path.
"Out of the fucking way!" Terumi yelled. In rage, he elbowed Penny in the face, knocking her to the side. However, a loud cracking noise could be heard from his arm as he did that. "Gah! What in the name of hell is that brat made of!?"
"Pay for your food!"
"Terumi!"
"Stop running so I could end this quick!"
"I have a score to settle with you!"
"Get over here you lunatic!"
Just when he was about to lose hope, a public toilet could be seen not far from where he was. He couldn't help but smile at this, but said smile was soon wiped off his face when Iron Tager came crashing down on it.
Literally.
"What in the name of hell!?" Terumi exclaimed, more out of shock rather than anything else.
The Red Devil stood up and adjusted his glasses, and later went into a combat stance. "Yuuki Terumi, I have my orders from Kokonoe to take you down. I suggest-"
"Fuck you!" Terumi ran into another direction, catching Tager completely by surprise.
"H-Hey! Wait a minute!" Tager called out, only to be ignored.
"Fenrir!"
"Baden-Baden Lily!"
Upon hearing those familiar voices, Terumi began to jump around in order to avoid himself from getting torn to shreds by Noel's large gun, while at the same time from getting shocked by all of Rachel's lightnings.
The fact that he managed to evade the attacks without receiving a single scratch surprised him greatly, but he then pushed the thought aside and glared daggers at his attackers.
"You fucking doll! You shitty vampire! Leave me alone!"
"I think not, Terumi."
"N-Never! Not until I'm done with you!"
"Terumi of the Six Heroes!? I'm going to enjoy this!"
Out of nowhere, Azrael came crashing down onto the ground in front of Terumi with a terrifying grin, creating a large-sized crater in the process.
"Blackhawk Stinger!"
With a snarl, Terumi quickly evaded the devastating blow by simply leaning to the side, and proceeded to knock the man away with a swift kick to the face. With Azrael now on the ground, he could clearly see another public toilet in the distance. So as to not waste more time, he wrapped his entire body in dark energy and surged forward, resembling a large serpent with its jaws wide open.
"Messenga!"
Terumi ended up slamming his right shoulder into the door, and wasted no time in grabbing the knob. But to his horror, it was locked, indicating that someone was inside.
"No! I ain't gonna shit out here in front of my enemies!"
"Terumi! Don't think you can escape!" Ragna shouted in the near distance.
"Shit!" Grabbing the knob, Terumi tried pulling the door open twice, but to no avail. Gritting his teeth in anger, he then punched his right hand through the door, earning a cute squeak from the person inside, before finally opening it.
He was then met with the sight of Luna in the middle of pulling up her panties, staring right at him with her face flushed. Terumi simply returned the stare with a blank expression, not entirely sure how to respond to the current situation.
"P-Pervert! You pervert!"
"So what!?"
Grabbing the poor girl's head right before throwing her out, Terumi then entered the toilet and slammed the door shut.
"That bastard thinks he could hide himself in a toilet?" Ragna asked with one of his eyebrows raised, but then his cheeks started heating up when he landed his gaze on Luna. "Gah! Luna! Put your freaking panties on!"
"Huh!?" Luna moved her gaze downwards, and immediately covered her private area with her face bright red. "Kyah! D-Don't look at me! You pervert! Pervert!"
"I-I'm not looking at you! So shut up!" Ragna yelled.
Pointing Bolverk at the white-haired man with a huge blush on her face, Noel closed her eyes and later shouted, "Ragna! D-Don't look at her! Y-You pervert!"
Ragna paled slightly. "H-Hey! Don't point those things at me!"
"I can't believe this..." Jin gave his older brother a pat on the shoulder, shaking his head sideways as he did so. "My dear brother, I never would've thought that you were into young girls. To be honest, I'm quite ashamed of you."
"Jin!? What the hell are you saying!?"
"Ragna, you pathetic dog. I never thought I'd live to see the day." With a wave of her hand, Rachel struck the poor misunderstood man with lightning, shocking him. "That would teach you a lesson. Such a barbaric man you are."
"Ugh...n-not...my...fault...dammit..."
-IIXII-
Sometimes, he even wondered why he wore them.
Probably because they looked good on him.
But now, they were simply in the way of his goal.
A nuisance.
Sacrifices had to be made, and there was no time to waste.
"These fucking belts are in the way!"
Pulling out a knife from his pocket, Terumi then tore the belts apart without a second thought. Now with nothing to worry about, he let out a short sigh of relief, and proceeded to pull down his pants to finally release his toxic waste.
"Finally..."
But sometimes, things would never go according to plan.
Without warning, his entire body suddenly felt like it was on fire.
"W-What...the hell?"
He tried moving one of his arms, but they wouldn't budge. It felt like some unknown force was preventing him from moving around. It was as if he was paralyzed. Hell, maybe he was paralyzed.
Let's not even get started on how painful it was.
It was excruciating.
"W-What the hell...is going on?"
-IIXII-
Celica hummed a small happy tune as she walked past a small public toilet with an ice cream in her right hand. However, she was then surprised to see a lot of people pointing their weapons at the door of said toilet.
It was as if they were trying to contain something dangerous.
"Huh?" She tilted her head to the side innocently, not understanding the situation. "Why is everyone looking at this toilet as if there's a monster inside?"
"That's because there is!" Sun shouted. He fired his weapons at the door, earning surprised looks from the others. "We're not leaving until he pays his food! That good for nothing thief!"
"Yeah!" Scarlet and Neptune exclaimed in unison, before they loaded their guns and followed their leader's example by firing at the door.
"I'm not leaving until I'm done with him," said Adam. He aimed Blush at the door and fired off a few rounds. "Get out here already...scum..."
"I wanna fight!" Azrael shouted angrily while cracking his knuckles.
"T-There's a pervert inside!" Luna pointed at the toilet with her face bright red. "A pervert I tell you!"
"I have a score to settle with that man," Winter explained.
"I just wanna kill the bastard so I can get this done and over with!" Ragna tightened his grip around Blood-Scythe, growling as he did so.
"I'm the same with Brother," Jin said with a cold glare.
"Uh...I-I don't know what to say." Celica scratched the back of her head with a nervous grin, not knowing how to respond. "W-Who's inside anyway?"
"Stop shooting at the fucking door! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Terumi shouted from the other side of the toilet, but was unfortunately ignored as the people outside kept on firing. "Just what the hell is wrong with you people!?"
Celica looked to the public toilet and raised an eyebrow.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Neptune responded fiercely, "Just pay for your damn food already!"
"Never!" was Terumi's response.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, an Atlesian Paladin-290 came crashing down on the same toilet Terumi was currently occupying, crushing him. At this, everyone stared at the large machine with widened eyes, unsure of what to say.
After a few seconds of utter silence, Team RWBY, plus Kval, dropped down from the bridge where the machine came from and landed on top of it.
"I take it that our mission was a success?" Kval asked his team leader with a small smile, who nodded in response.
"Yup! We managed to capture Torchwick!" cheered Ruby. She grinned happily, jumping up and down excitedly as she did so. "Headmaster Ozpin will be so proud of us! I'm sure of it!"
"You and Kazuma were as reckless as always," Weiss said with a shake of her head, smiling slightly.
"Hey, why are those guys staring at us like that?" Yang whispered into her partner's ear, while at the same time looking at the group of people who were watching them as if they had just done something impossible.
Blake looked to the group of people whom her blonde partner was talking about, and couldn't help but smile when Sun came into view. Upon figuring that she wasn't sure herself, she shrugged and said, "To be honest, I don't really know."
-IIXII-
Hazama stood somewhere far in the distance with Velvet standing right beside him, staring at the bizarre scene with an unreadable expression. Furrowing his brows, he then cupped his chin with his hand and looked down at his feet.
"I would say that this is one of the possibilities of the Continuum Shift..."
"Uh...what was that?" Velvet looked to him, not understanding what the artificial human had just said.
"O-Oh! Think nothing of it! I was just mumbling unimportant things to myself." Hazama let out a nervous laugh. "Now then, shall we continue our walk?"
The faunus girl's cheeks began to heat up slightly, and she nodded shyly. "M-Most certainly."
-IIXII-
It's World Laughter Day. Yay to that!
I hope I at least managed to get a short chuckle out of any of you guys. If not, then...shit.
Also, check out my other story, Still Alive, if you guys are interested. If not, then...shit.
Well, thanks for reading and please leave a review if you enjoyed this!
Later!