Of course.
Of course when I have my guard down they throw that question at me. I silently study the carousel, placing in the parts to actually make it work. Last time I used my wrench to make it work. It wasn't a permanent solution but at least it made it work until I was able to work on it now. I wonder where that went? My heart ached for the missing pieces of my home. My wrench and even my violin were...dispatched during the last crazy number of time changes. I wiped my eyes pushing back the tears. Crying now isn't going to do anything.
"Miss? Are you alright?" A clown asks patting my shoulder, "did you cut yourself?" It's amazing how the faceless aren't aware of anything that has happened. They don't talk about it or even seem to know what happened. I wonder if White said something to them?
"No, I'm fine." I smile and shut the door tight, "I'm...going into town for a bit. Don't tell Joker, alright?" I ask struggling to bind my quaking emotions. Ugh...I still don't have enough control over them. I absolutely don't want Joker seeing me like this; it's embarrassing.
"If that's what you want, Miss." He responds with a slight bow, hopping off to other business. My eyes keep up a steady search around the circus making sure that White or worse Black isn't following me. Usually they would be all over me asking why I answered them the way I did. I hug myself tightly; why did I answer them like that? In that moment, when they asked me to commit...I just couldn't. Why? Why couldn't I do that simple thing? Being bound to them forever is what I want but at the same time...
I quickly withdrew from the circus as the sobs began to wreak havoc on my diaphragm.
...I'm scared to give myself fully to him. It's not that I don't trust him. It's...
It's that I don't trust myself.
BLACK'S POV
"MOTHER OF **** ******* ON A PILE OF **** WEARING A MOTHER******* SKIRT!" I shout landing a solid kick on a close by trashcan. White dips out of the way watching me openly express our frustration while he is deep in thought. "Why did she reject me AGAIN?! Does she like seeing me frustrated like this?!"
"No, I don't think it's that." White releases a heavy sigh as he taps his forehead trying to dispel my outrage boiling our blood. "She's merely afraid to commit."
"WHY?!" I scream, too blinded by my rage to even want to think properly. I want to tie her up. I want to physically show her the drain and frustration I am feeling. I want to force my connector back onto her and shove her onto the bed and not let her even think of moving until at the very least five glorious time changes of nothing but my -
"It's quite obvious when you stop and think about it. Her mother was a whore; establishing this, we can induce that she cheated quite often on her husband, running merrily off with other men easily even while in a relationship."
"She thinks we'll let her cheat on us?" I growl, flipping my desk and sending papers flying everywhere, "or, is it that she doesn't trust me to be loyal?"
"No no, I'm sure that's not the case. Whatever the reason is, she is afraid of commitment. Now, knowing this, we merely need to pinpoint the cause of her distress and utterly obliterate it." White summarized.
"WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK WE'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST HUNDREDS OF TIME CHANGES?!" I exclaim on the verge of sponging out every single criminal I have in the jail. White merely sighs, unable to come up with a solution he deems good enough to share.
"True...it is mighty tedious but in the end, she will be ours." White confidently purrs as I shove my desk upright. I glare around at the disorganization my rage inflicted on the room. Whatever. I'll just buy a new stupid desk and **** that one up later too.
"I want to know when 'the end' is!" I shout as a particular gleam catches my eye. A pair of bright, shiny black handcuffs offers the perfect solution to my disgruntled rage. White's eyes imposingly flashes over the special cuffs as I pull them from the drawer with a sinister grin.
I'm done waiting; it's time to get a little more aggressive.
JACKIE'S POV
I wearily walk around town glancing over buildings with an empty stare. I feel so...empty. I know I want Joker. I've even given up my wrench and violin. Do I regret giving them up? Not at all. I just miss the memories that go along with them. Does that count as regret? My fingers brush over my throat unable to find my choker. I've lost it once again. I feel like it's been forever since I've had it. With all the crazy things that's been going on I nearly forgot about it. Ugh...
"Ah, there you are Jackie!" Ace's joyful voice cries. I glance over to the knight hardly paying him any attention as I continue on my way. Great. Just peachy. I jump and yelp as his arms wrap around my torso yanking me into a binding hug.
"Gah-!"
"Aw~ are you ignoring me? That's not very nice~," he hums nuzzling his forehead into the crook of my neck. I remain still unable to dish out the effort to push him away. I just can't do it; not right now. I'm feeling too depressed. He pauses before pulling back, whipping me around to face him. I stare right back at him as he cocks his head to the side gazing over me with smiling yet confused eyes.
"What?"
"Boo~ did Joker **** you too hard last night to play with me too?" He pouts, waiting for my retaliation. I emptily gaze over him before heavily sighing.
"In a way, yeah." I agree trying to pull away before he roped me right back in. My legs tremble as he puts most of his weight over my tired legs.
"Boo~ I'll just have to carry you then." He whines before immediately cheering up. I suck in a quick breath as he scoops me up into his arms, effortlessly tossing me over his shoulder. "Away we go~!"
"What?! Ace, put me down!"
"I'm glad you're more lively now; you're going to need it for Joker!" He laughed as I kick and punch his body.
"Joker? Ace, what are you talking about?"
"You'll see once we get there~," he sings tromping out into the woods.
‡
My stomach aches as Ace's shoulder continuously dug into my diaphragm for the next several hours. My dangling arms offered no resistance as he hops over fallen logs and ditches deeper into the woods. Oh gosh where is he taking me now? Ugh...I just don't care anymore...
"It's about ******* time you stupid knight!" Black's voice viciously growls making needles dig into my chest. Oh gosh why...
"Ah, Mr. Black! There you are~," Ace hums, suddenly changing his direction towards Black.
"What took you so long?!"
"Huh? Well, we took a shortcut through the Hatter's estate and then through Heart Castle and then we stopped by Julius for a while and then- ,"
"Just fork her over brick for brains!" Black sharply cuts him off as a warm pair of arms pull me from Ace's shoulder.
"Yes sir master sir~," Ace hums turning around to leave. He's leaving already? I blink.
"Master?" I ask as Ace waltzes off, casting a glance back.
"Yep! I also work for Joker from time to time when the inmates get rowdy. Now, to Julius I go~," Ace smiles charmingly as he hops into the woods vanishing beneath the underbrush. What the heck was that about?! He came and snatched me up, took me through a detour of all of Wonderland, and then suddenly left when he dropped me off to Black?
"Black, he works for you - ?" I suck in a quick inhale of air before his lips tightly seal off the entrance. I lean away and grasp his forearms as he follows me through, unrelenting in his pursuit. A dull throbbing clutches my heart as I slowly push back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. His fingers slip through my hair, firmly yet gently grasping a fistful of raven threads. His lips seems to grow desperate as a wet, slimy presence begs for entrance. I jerk back, startled as I gulp down deep breaths. Oh that was close...I forgot to breathe.
"WHY?!" He angrily demands yanking my head back by the hair.
"Ow!" I hiss as he roughly pushes his kisses along my throat. I wriggle in his grasp trying to slip free as he shoves me back onto his bed with messed up sheets. I push against his head unable to even make it budge as he sucked on the of my neck. Gah -! "Black, what are you doing?!"
"You're taking too long so I decided to be a little more aggressive in my approach." He warns clicking something around my throat. My hand jerks up clasping my choker as he twists me onto the center of the cushion. My choker? He's had it? No...this feels different. The leather is very much so new and the lock is completely smooth with no dents. What did he just put on me? His hands tightly snatch hold of my jaws as he shoves his mouth against my lips vigorously rubbing my sides as he tries to get a stronger reaction out of me.
"Get off Black -!"
"No." He growls.
"Why not?!" I demand as he pins my arms above my head.
"Why won't you agree to marry me?!" He hisses, getting right up in my face. My eyes widened, startled. Huh? Is this...what this is about?
"M-Marry?" I stutter, frightened of the very word. His eyes angrily flash as he spies a bit of fear leap through my eyes.
"Why are you so scared to love me?! Are you so ashamed of me that you can't bear thinking of ******* me or are you just screwing around with me?!"
"I-I'm not scared to love you!" I defiantly growl. How can he even think that? I do love him! I...I just...
"Yes you are; do not lie to me!" He gruffly spits tightening his fist around my wrists. I cringe as the circulation is cut off into my fingers. Too tight -!
"I'm not lying!"
"Then why won't you let me give all of me to you?" He whines in a stiff yet sweet voice, breathing hard as he rests over me. A shiver runs up my spine from his unnaturally meek voice and pained whine. Why...why does Black look so sad?
"I...look, Black - no, Joker - I love you and that won't ever change."
"Then why won't you give me everything?" He begs resting his hand over my pelvis. I cringe but remain firm as he leans down sweetly and gently kissing my jaw. A severe blush flashes across my cheeks as he kisses the tip of my ear. "Why won't you give me yourself? You love me but you are selfishly keeping your coveting body to yourself. So unfair...,"
"B-Black, please understand. I...I can't." I squeak out. Giving him everything...I've thought about it before but how can I? I...I don't even know the first thing about being in bed o-or even the 'techniques' or...or anything. Plus, aren't I eventually going home? The sobering thought snaps me out of the trance Black worked so hard to infuse in me as I pull away, weakly glaring at Black.
"Now get. Off." Black's eyes seem to drain of softness as a toothy grin pulls his lips up. His other hand gently slides up my arm clasping my right hand.
"Ah~ you think I'm going to let you reject me again? That's cute."
CRANK - WHIRLLLL...CLICK
I jump as cool metal touches my left wrist. My head shoots up, spying a black pair of handcuffs sinking it's teeth around my hand. My eyes widen as my mouth pops open. He just -?!
"Tough ****. I've told you before, haven't I? Joker doesn't play nice when it comes to sharing." He tightly yanks the one chain back clasping the chain as he sits on my pelvis, tapping his horse whip against my cheek. He leans back while clasping my hands together with a wolfish grin, surveying his helpless prey. My heart stutters frantically, horrified and excited with the oncoming prospect. Frightened out of my wits because of his frightening expression and yet...excited? My emotions clash with one another as I struggle to make head and tails out of my defying emotions. Which...is what I'm really feeling right now?
"Don't like it? Too bad. If you want this to be bearable...then go along with it kitten." Black huskily whispers, unbuckling his pants as his hand slid down my throat.
CRANK - WHIRLLLL...CLICK
My eyes pop open. Huh? I look up spying White's happy off smile as the other half of the handcuff remained snug around his wrist.
"Huh?" Both Black and I say at the same time watching as he shoves Black off the bed.
"WHAT THE -?!" Black shouts, rolling onto his feet with a bewildered look in his eye.
"Sorry, my dear counterpart, but as the more mentally sane of the two of us...I'm taking over for now." White purrs sliding me off the bed and beside him. I stare, dumbfounded as I gaze over White's sincere gaze. He's...seriously helping me? Of the two of them...well, I guess he would be the one to really think about the consequences.
"HEY! Why are you interrupting?! You want it as bad as I do!" Black vehemently growls pointing accusingly to White.
"Why, of course I do. But that doesn't mean I'm going to completely ignore the lady's feelings, now am I?" White croons, taking my handcuffed hand and kisses the back of it. Ok what's going on? Did he hit his head or something? White's acting...different.
"STOP SUCKING UP!" Black lividly hisses, glowering over the handcuffs, "and why would you put those cuffs on?!" He shouts, more angry than before. White circles his hand around me, touching his hand to my hip as he pulls me closer.
"Well...impulse, perhaps?" He muses tapping his chin with a grin.
"IMPULSE MY ***! You know exactly what those are!" Black simmers, squeezing the bedpost with his white knuckled fists.
"Ha ah~ think so? Ah, by the way dear, shouldn't you be leaving soon?" White asks with a charming grin. Black's face drops into a poker face as he studies his counterpart before becoming absolutely livid.
"YOU PLANNED THIS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING -!" Black shrieks snatching his whip. The air shutters around us as Black's room dissolves, returning to White's room with his too many plush dolls and toys. I blink, severely confused.
"White, what was Black talking about?"
"Ah~ nothing my dear. It's just that Black has to leave soon to go to a particular 'destination' to represent the two of us. He'll be back soon enough." White brushes off the explanation as he kisses my forehead. "Are you alright? Black got quite rough before I had the chance to intervene."
"F-Fine." I say as a thick cherry red blush shots across my face. I was trapped in that gaze of his. That predatory gaze which made my blood freeze over...and heart race and blood boil all at once. Man I'm sick...he scares the living heck out of me and I get all happy about it? I need to see a psychiatrist soon.
"That's good. Rest assured, dear, that I wouldn't do something so ungraceful~," he hums, kissing my temple. Liar; I can name a number of times that he's tried things. Like the night I changed back into a human from when I was a kitten. I shiver as my heart slightly quakes with the warm fuzzes as he continues to plant my cheeks with tickling kisses. Why is he being so sweet all of a sudden? Maybe to make my guard drop so he can have a piece of me too? I giggle as his hat sweeps past my jaw, all the while he's planting kisses on my neck. He gently tilts my head up continuing his gentle barrage of attacks. I have to admit, between the two of them White is a little more gentle at first but then he -
"Ow!" I cringe as he teeth inevitably take a bite out of my throat. I pull back clasping the sensitive area as I glower over him. But he slowly gets worse too.
"Ah, my condolences, dear. Would you like a turn?" He sweetly asks, exposing his throat to my pleasures. I sigh and pull away, narrowing my eyes over the handcuff. When is Black going to learn that I can just pick my way out of these things. I tug on the chain making White follow me to the bed.
"Sit." I command making White take a seat.
"Oh!" He cries with a smile, "why, I gladly accept!" His arms shoots around my waist as he pulls me onto his lap, hitching my legs to his hips. He happily hums to himself and pulls me tighter, ignoring my slight sneer.
"That's not what I meant!" I admonish, giving up on trying to remove myself from the compromising position. If I move I'll just make things worse for myself. He curiously watches as I pull out my small velvet case of tools which miraculously survived somehow. I'm pretty happy these are still in my possession at least.
"My dear...that's not going to work." White sighs, leaning back and kept a firm grasp at the nape of my back. I ignore him as I slip out the necessary tools, placing my cuffed hand on my lap as I began to pick away at it. Huh? Wait...where's the opening? White tilts his head with a lazy smile watching as I twist the cuffs every which way trying to locate the hole.
"Listen, love. This handcuff is quite the expensive thing. And extremely rare, too. I do believe it is only the third time that 'Joker' has ever seen one."
"So?" I ask, flipping his hand over and looking for his. Where is it?
"So...it is not a normal lock."
"So?"
"Which means that you can't pick it open."
"What do I have to do to open it?"
"Make love to me."
‡
WHOA WHAT?! What does love making have to do with unlocking the handcuffs? Look forward to the next chapter~ Ah, and as usual, 10 REVIEWS for the next chapter :3
