Darren had many faces. The one that most people got to see was the one that he wore most, happy go lucky, cheerful and just so excited. Sometimes he looked tired but even then, he had a smile on painted on his face, ready for the world to see. Everyone ate it up and said he was unreal, some people even asked if he never slept. Some nights, he didn't. But nobody ever questioned it. Nobody ever asked him if he was feeling sad or lonely because there couldn't be any way he was.
He was so happy, all the fucking time and everyone loved him for it. They loved him for being who he was and he had to admit that it helped, seeing all the fans and their smiling faces every time they saw him. Especially those people who told him that he'd saved their lives, it seemed impossible to him but it gave him some kind of inkling that maybe he might just have made that dent.
But then there were those days, when everything got to be too much and he just wanted to let go. He just felt so, so tired. Everything he did seemed to be pointless and every move was a stretch of his already challenged strength. It was on those days that Darren wanted to crawl back into his college hole, just sit there and never come out. Some days he wished he had never become what he had. It all seemed like a blur and it was becoming too much. He was falling off the edge.
It was one of those nights, a few months after tour. He just lost it, screaming in his house and throwing things around. Joey was staying with friends, thinking he was giving him time to himself, but really this was the time when he needed someone. He collapsed after a while, too tired to be angry anymore. He didn't even know what he was angry at. Himself? There wasn't really anyone else to blame for the fucking mess he called his life.
He didn't hear the key turn in the door but when he saw it begin to open out of the corner of his eye he looked up for a second. For a moment he thought that Joey might have realised but… of course not. He took one look at the man in his doorway and the tears started up again, he pressed the balls of his hands against his eyes and let the sobs go free. He tucked his knees up to himself and tried to hide, making himself as small as he could be.
He felt warm arms wrapping around him, the familiar feeling of being held like this. He felt safe, wrapped in Chris' arms.
Chris pressed a kiss to his hair, murmuring "Shh, it's okay." before brushing it back and lifting his face. Darren looked ragged, his face was streaked with tears and his eyes were red raw. Chris looked at him sadly for a second but managed to put a small smile on his face for Darren.
He wiped his thumbs under Darren's eyes and held his face gently. Darren felt so vulnerable, like he could break at any second. Hell, he was already breaking. The only thing holding him together right now was Chris. He looked up and controlled his breathing, the heart wrenching sobs had stopped rocking through his body now, and he shuddered. Chris leant in close and kissed him softly on the lips. He could feel Darren's tears fall fresh against his cheek but he ignored then, breaking off for a moment to kiss them away. Darren melted into his touch and let Chris make him forget.
When he had this he knew he would be okay. Chris kept him grounded when he thought everything was falling away.
He was home.