{New Moon}
EDWARD~ the day Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper leave
Walk Away
"This is a mistake, Edward," Alice hissed, her voice filled with venom. "You know you're going to regret it!"
"I will regret nothing," I promised her, though my dead heart was breaking inside. "We have destroyed Isabella's life enough. We shall not anymore."
"Stop acting so goddamn stupid!" Alice growled. "I swear to God, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you will regret it! I don't even need my powers to tell me that much!" She stormed out of the room, her hair flying behind her wildly.
Jasper cast me a disappointed and sad look. "I agree with Alice, Edward. I mean," He looked at me with pleading eyes. "I know it's my fault. No," He shook his head as I opened my mouth to disagree. "Don't even try. Let me go to Alaska, Edward. Why Alice? Esme? Carlisle? Can't you see its killing them inside?!"
I bowed my head shamefully, but I spoke firmly, "I'm not blind to anyone's opinion, Jasper. It may kill us, but I'm sure we'll get over it. Anyways, we'd have to move again, soon, even if we stayed. Bella," I winced, "will be fine."
Jasper looked at me for a second, shook his head and went after Alice. I sighed tiredly as Emmett approached me with anger in his eyes.
"Edward!" He shouted. "Are you mental, bro?! Bella's going to freak!"
"Emmett," I whispered. "Can't you see how much this is killing me? Am I forgotten?"
"Yes, you are," Emmett said, though his eyes had softened. "You, Edward, are a vampire. What is Bella? A human. You have a few thousand years to get over your mistake, but Bella doesn't have that much time. She'll never get over you, Edward. It's a fact. All of us –except Rose- are trying to tell you to stay. This is a huge mistake, Ed. Stay, and everyone will be free of heart-break."
For a second, I wanted to give in to that soothing voice that was promising me happiness and love. Comfort and family. It was promising me Bella. But I couldn't. This was wrong. A vampire with a human? Ridiculous.
"Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?" I teased Emmett.
He frowned, "I have my times, bro. Now, staying or going?" His eyes pleaded me to stay.
I shook my head, "Going. All of us."
Hope you like the feeling of regret, Edward. Alice's voice floated to me as I read her mind.
I hope to come back, here. Edward, if you're listening to me, dear, this is a mistake. Are you sure you want to do this? I nodded at Esme, who looked at me sadly.
"Let's go," Carlisle said in a monotone. He filled his head with information about London. He was hiding something, but I was too bothered to care. "See you later, son." He nodded at me.
"Bye," I replied. I felt like a human whose family was leaving for a vacation. Except the fact I would be joining them later on, after I broke Bella's heart. Wow.
I walked slowly to my room, and turned on the stereo. I lay down on the couch, not knowing what to think. Was this a good idea? Or not? As I heard Debussy drifting through my speakers, I scowled and put in a random CD lying beside the stereo. I glanced at the list of songs, and the first one was 'The Script- Walk Away'. I shrugged, feeling sure the song had nothing to do with Bella. How wrong I was…
I don't know why she's with me,
Seriously?
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me,
I had, hadn't I? Oh, Bella. First, James, then, Jasper.
If I was her by now I would have left me,
I definitely would have. A crazed blood-sucker who brought me trouble, even though I was a danger magnet? Ciao, Edward.
I would have walked away,
But now I'm broken away.
I was. Bella would get over it, she had to. For her sake, and for –it's selfish, I know- mine.
Somehow instead she forgave me,
I chuckled lowly at the memory of when she said she didn't care that I was a vampire. No wonder danger lusted after her!
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to,
Women were awfully stubborn, weren't they? Just look at haughty Rosalie or pixie Alice.
Even if it means she denied herself the truth
She did deny the truth, even when it was laughing at her in front of her face. She ignored the fact her blood could be drained by monsters, ignored the fact going to that ballet studio was suicide, ignored all kinds of danger; even when it bit her. Literally.
'Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late You've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me
I wasn't heaven. I never will be. I would always be hell, a monster. Why couldn't Bella see that? If she didn't like me, if she hated me, this would be so easy. But no, she loved me. But would she get over it? You're becoming delusional, Edward. She will get over it. Because talking to myself isn't a symptom of madness, of course.
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
Why didn't she leave?! I punched the wall, but that only effected me getting plaster stuck to my hand. If I were a human, my hand would be bleeding.
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
She stayed. She stayed throughout everything, which scared me. I wanted her to move on, not hang onto me. Have a life.
She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless How could any woman in their right mind be so blind
To find something this safe
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away
But she didn't. She kept walking with me. Even when Jasper tried to bite her, she felt guilty. What in the name of God was wrong with her?
She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a groovy and headstrong city girl Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way
The worst way, indeed.
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
But still she stays
I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But you've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away
(Walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
But still she stays, eh
I'm saying walk away
Yeah, I'm saying walk away
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
Still she stays, yeah, she stays, she stays
By this point, I was sobbing tearlessly. Why did she have to stay with me?! I was a vampire, a nightmare. Little children quivered in fear when they heard vampires drink human blood. But no, Bella! You just stayed calm and said, "I don't care." Who did that? Stupid question, Edward.
The worst part was that Bella would blame herself over this mess. I knew her. She'd think something was wrong with her, I never will understand why she called me a God. Couldn't she see her own beauty? I was full was flaws, and she was pure. An angel.
But if she couldn't walk away, I had to. For her own good. She'd live a full, happy life without me. I would love her for the rest of my existence, but she'd get over me. Even Mike Newton, a human, would be a better choice. Okay, maybe I could do better.
BELLA- The Last Song She Heard
Paradise~ Coldplay
"Bella, are you sure you're okay?" Angela asked me worriedly. I smiled a little at her concern. She was concerned for ever since that day happened.
I ignored the tugging in the heart as I replied, "I'm fine, Angela. You shouldn't worry so much, you know," I tried to tease her, though my voice was unemotional.
"I'm here if you need me, Bella," Angela reminded me. I nodded, and went to my truck. I saw a familiar boy leaning against it, and I sighed in frustration. It had only been a month since Ed-he had left, and Mike kept on pestering me on a date. God, when would that boy accept the fact I'd never like him?
"Hey, Bella," Mike greeted me with unnecessary enthusiasm.
"Mike," I said in an empty voice.
"What are you doing this Friday?" He asked.
"Going fishing with Charlie," I lied.
"Oh," Mike's face dropped. "Do you think I could come?"
"Sorry, Mike, but no," I answered, trying to find my keys.
"It's fine. Saturday?"
"She's coming over to my house," A firm voice said. I looked up and saw Angela towering over Mike, glaring at him, Ben was by her side, doing the same.
"Hi Angela," Mike said nervously. He turned to me again, "Sunday?"
"It's a sleepover," Angela cut in before I could think of a lie. "Back off, Mike. She's hurting over Edward. Try to understand."
"I'm much better than him," Mike muttered sulking. "See you then, Bella?"
"Bye, Mike," Angela said in a cold, icy voice. I honestly never knew she had such a side to her.
"Thanks, Angela," I hugged her.
She hugged me back, "You're always welcome to that sleepover, Bella,"
"I know," I said, trying to smile.
"C'mon Angel," Ben said, looking at her with doting eyes. "Oh, Bella," He turned to me with a grin. "Want me to beat up Mikey over there?"
I shook my head frantically, "No violence, please. But thanks anyway, Ben."
"No problem. Bye Bella."
"See you guys tomorrow."
I climbed into my truck and my hands automatically reached for the new stereo the others had given me. I pressed the 'on' button, and then my hand froze. What was I doing? I shouldn't be listening to music! It reminded me of Ed-him. But I relaxed my hand drove out of school; after all I was sure classical music wouldn't come up!
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
I did. At least a little bit. I felt like the adult at times, but sometimes love stories do exist. Mine did until that day.
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Wrong. I couldn't run away in my sleep. I wish I could.
Dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh
I did, when he was there, right beside me. No nightmares, no nothing. Just paradise.
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she'd fly.
Life was always heavy for me. The wheels kept breaking me. Until he came. When he came, he showed me the joys of life. But now, whenever I cried, I only wished I could fly away, fly away with him.
And dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh
She dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.
La la la La
La la la
So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the sun must set to rise.
This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
This could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.
This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.
This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.
Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo
Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo
I stopped my truck, and ran out, not knowing where I was. I stopped and took a huge breath. I was in front of his home. I walked in, my radio still on, playing that wretched song. I breathed in the woody scent of the house, and the lingering fragrance of them. My tears ran free, and I went slowly into his room. I almost fainted when I saw the room was the same, as if they had just gone hunting. But this time, they weren't coming back. Not to this house, not to this place, not to me. I couldn't even say good bye to them. It hurt too much to think their names.
Paradise. The definition of paradise was them. Nothing else. Even if I died and went to heaven, that wouldn't be paradise. Paradise would only exist when they were with me. Because if they weren't, my heart would never be healed, my happiness would be gone forever, the only thing I could hold on to would be my memories. And of course, the piercing pain in my heart. That's all.
EDWARD- When He Learns about Bella's 'Death'
Damini- USS (Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker)
I looked around my one-bedroom apartment I had brought merely for a place to stay. I examined myself in the mirror and winced at what I saw. My eyes were pitch black and were framed by violent purple bruises. I really needed to hunt quickly.
My phone rang and it was in my ear the next second. "Hello?" I asked tiredly. If it was Emmett, I would go back to Ithaca and rip off his neck.
"Edward! Guess what?" Rosalie's bored voice sounded through.
I sighed; she was worse than Emmett. "Alice got you a hot red bag? Or car?" I guessed sarcastically.
"Neither," she replied. "She's gone back to Forks."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"She's gone back to Forks. Back to Isabella."
Her name sent a painful tingle through me. But I ignored that and concentrated on my boiling anger, "What?!" I shouted. "I told her not to interfere!"
"Relax," Rose said calmly. "Alice can't do anything now, anyways,"
"What do you mean?" I asked a little curiously.
"She's dead. Jumped off a cliff."
"What?" I asked my voice cracking. Bella was dead? At eighteen? I replayed Rose's words in my mind again, and said, "Bella jumped off a cliff?!"
"That's what Ali told me," Rose said, her tone uninterested. "Apparently, Alice was taking a 'sneak-peak' into the future, and saw Isabella jumping."
"Li-like suicide?" I croaked.
"Noooooooo," Rose said sarcastically. "Why would she jump then? For fun? You're sometimes a huge idiot, Edward."
Shut up! I wanted to shout. The love of my life just died, and you're calling me an idiot?!
"Bye, Rose," I said forcefully.
"Bye," she replied uncaringly.
I fell to my knees the moment I shut the phone. Bella was dead? That couldn't be true. It just couldn't! I quickly speed dialed her landline, praying she'd pick up, just so I could hear her voice again.
"Swan residence," A husky voice answered.
My hope was crushed, but I somehow found the strength to imitate Carlisle's voice. "Hello. Is Charlie there?" I asked quietly and quickly.
"He's not here," the voice replied menacingly.
"I see," I said calmly, though my head was spinning. "Where is he?"
"He's at the funeral." The speaker said unwillingly.
My breath hitched, and I hung up. What? Bella was really dead, then. I opened my window, and threw the phone outside and heard a tune humming from it. Who cared about it? Bella was dead. I had to go to the Volturi. Loud music floated into my room, and I stilled when I heard the words.
Come back, take me with you
I can't exist if me don't equal you now
Be here right as I am, right as you were
Answer me peace, love
Bella, Bella, Bella. How could I exist if you aren't here?
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still, and close to my breath
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still forever
I love hearing her heartbeat, but now? She didn't have one. She was as good as a vampire: dead.
Sleep now in my arms forever
Sleep now in my arms together
Dream that we won't wake from ever
Sleep now in my arms
I'm coming, Bella. You won't be alone. I'm following you, my love.
Fell down all on my own
I'd rather be an angel with you than alone
I cry even in my sleep
Acres a week
Answer me peace, love
All these months, I wanted to be a human. To sleep, to dream. When I was awake forever, my guilt and regret never left me. I couldn't rest. Hunting could only hide my pain for a short while.
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still, and close to my breath
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still forever
Sleep now in my arms forever
Sleep now in my arms together
Dream that we won't wake from ever
Sleep now in my arms
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
No, you won't. But I'm coming, Bella. Hang on. I didn't care that Alice could see my decision. Though, because of Bella, she'd be too full of grief. I shook my head when I thought of my family. Esme and Carlisle would lose two children, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice would lose a brother and sister, and Rose would lose a brother. But that didn't matter. Not now.
I'm coming, Bella.
{Breaking Dawn}
JACOB~ As he gets Dragged Out After the Wedding
Hurt- Christina Aguilera
"Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon." Sam said from behind me. I let myself be tugged away, but glanced at Bella one last time.
"I'm sorry," Bella whispered to Quil. The blood-sucker said something, but I tuned him out. Only Bella, now. But she was gone. She had married the leech, and was going to a honeymoon with him! Did she want to die? Oh, wait, yes she did! She was going to turn into one of them soon enough.
"Jake," Seth said quietly. "Don't leave again, Jake, please."
I took a deep breath, and ruffled his hair, "I won't, kid, I promise. But I'm going to slip out for a bit, 'kay?"
"Fine," Seth said unwillingly. "Come back for Billy!" He called out as I ran deeper into the forest. I was a wolf, now. Hopefully, no interruptions.
You wish, Jakey. Leah's voice slithered over.
Ugh, I groaned. Leave me alone!
Hell no! This is kinda fun, She admitted.
I ignored her and howled into the night, releasing all the pain into that one note.
Since when were you so dramatic? Leah asked.
Shut up!
You wish.
I am wishing, woman. Leave. Me. Alone.
Or what?
Oh, maybe some scratches and bites and cuts to your back. Fracture your legs a little.
Sweetheart, She said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. The day you catch me will be the day vamps don't exist.
Keep dreaming.
I am. Leeches are a pain in the ass, apparently.
Good job on figuring that out!
Oh, hush.
What's up with you?
What do you mean?
You sound like you're having fun!
Is that so wrong? Leah's words were a bit slurred.
Are you drunk?
Maybe a little. Getting over Sam.
Trying to, you mean.
Same thing. About Bella, you can talk to me if you want to.
Yep, you're high.
Okay, I am! I drank a little before I phased. Right now, I'm at the edge of the forest. And, I swear to God, Jacob, if you tell anyone, I'm going to kill you!
I didn't bother telling her Sam could probably hear us right now. You're going to regret this in the morning, you know.
I know. I just don't care. I don't care about anything, anymore, Jake!
Since when did you call me Jake?
I dunno. I'm sleepy. 'Night Jakey.
Night Lee-Lee
Don't 'all me 'hat.
Goodnight stupid.
But there was no response. She was asleep. I went home and lay down in my squished bedroom. Rachel had music blasting and I shouted at her to shut up.
Her head popped in my room, "Music is good, Jake. Try it."
"Oh, get out." I said, thinking of Bella.
"Fine," she said haughtily. "And please don't slap Paul again."
"He a werewolf!" I exclaimed. "He can heal in a snap!"
"I don't care," Rachel said her 'older-sister' voice in full force. "I just don't want him hurt. Like you and Be-" She stopped and looked down.
"Yes?" I said sharply. "Me and Bella? She's a human, Rachel. Paul's a werewolf. Drop it."
"Goodnight, Jacob," she said apologetically. I just nodded curtly.
"Next song is 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera." A voice drifted from Rachel's speakers.
"I don't think-" Rachel said to Paul, he cut her off.
"It's fine. He's probably asleep, what with the wedding and all." Wrong.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh ooh
Oh God. No wonder Rachel was saying this wasn't a good song for me to hear.
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.
She had made so many mistakes, but I would have accepted her in my arms in a passing heartbeat. Just not as a bloodsucker. Or maybe even then. It was Bella.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
She won't be there. She'll be having her 'cozy, little honeymoon' with Edward.
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
I was hurt. My heart was bleeding, and I think it would only stop if Bella came back to my life. Ugh! Didn't she know she was ripping me apart?!
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa
I'd told her goodbye plenty of times, but each time was harder than the rest. But the wedding was probably the worst. She was now taken away from me, forever.
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
Was she? I was a werewolf, but he was a vampire. I could protect her, he could drink her blood.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I would do anything. When Edward told me to come to the wedding, I was shocked. Why was he tearing me further apart? But I couldn't resist when he said, "Not for me, dog, for her."
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
That was the most painful song I'd ever heard in my life.
"Damn you, Paul!" I screamed.
"Paul!" Rachel gasped, "You told me he was asleep!"
"Sorry," Paul said meekly. In a baby voice, "Are you crying, Jakey?"
"Paul!" Rachel shouted. "Stop! That's my brother in there, and he's hurting!"
"Sorry, Rach," Paul said meaningfully. "Really."
"Idiot," Rachel muttered. I heard her footsteps coming closer to my bedroom. "Can I come in, Jake?" She was closing the door behind her.
"Don't know why you bother to ask if you're in already," I said, rolling my eyes.
She chuckled, "Look, about Bella, I think you should get over her."
I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Seriously, Rachel? What do you think I've been doing?"
"Pining after her," she answered immediately.
I gaped at her, "What?"
"It's the truth, brother. Go out, find other girls. Stop thinking about Bella."
"I'll try," I lied.
She sighed. "I'm your sister, Jake. I know when you're lying." She stood up. "And I also get the hint. Good night, for real this time, Jacob."
I inclined my head, "'Night."
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
EDWARD & BELLA ~ At the End of Breaking Dawn
Safe & Sound – Capital Cities
"Forever and forever and forever," he murmured.
"That sounds exactly right to me."And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.
NEXT DAY~
We were all there in the Cullen household. Jacob had Nessie and was playing hide and seek with her.
"Wow, Alice," I heard Jasper say. "Really?"
"I hope you two aren't doing anything inappropriate!" Emmett said loudly. I winked at Edward and slapped the back of Emmett's head the same moment Rosalie.
"Ow!" Emmett complained. "What the hell?"
"Nuh-uh," I said, taking Nessie from Jake. "There are children present here."
Emmett pouted, "Nessie's fine with it."
"Ask her," I said lightly. "Don't tell me."
"Hush!" Alice yelled from upstairs. "I present to my beautiful family my favorite song!"
I shared an amused look with Edward as I listened to the song.
I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be
You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound, safe and sound
I could fill your cup
You know my river won't evaporate this world we still appreciate
You could be my luck even in a hurricane of frowns
I know that we'll be safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
Well, we were safe and sound, weren't we? Thanks to Alice, of course. I smiled and leaned into Edward's chest as he kissed my hair.
I could show you love in a tidal wave of mystery
You'll still be standing next to me
You could be my luck even if we're six feet underground
I know that we'll be safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
By now, I was singing along to the song with Alice and Rosalie.
I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be
You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound, safe and sound
I could lift you up
I could show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be
You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down
I know that we'll be safe and sound, safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
Safe and sound, safe and sound
"Nice song, Ali!" Rose called out.
"Mom," I looked at Nessie. "You have a nice voice."
My face broke into a wide smile, "Thank you, Ness,"
"What about me?!" Rose and Alice chorused, Alice appearing on the foot of the stairs.
I smiled at my happy family. Yes, we were indeed safe and sound.
A/N: Sorry if the characters are a bit OCC. I just suddenly had this idea, so, even though I have a pounding headache now, hope you guys liked it! For those who are reading The Story of the Moon and Tide, I'm going to update Chapter 5 soon.
Ciao!
Bianca Zoe