Pick Your Own Adventure O/S Contest

Title: Masquerade

Rating & Any Needed Warnings: Rated M, because one character has a potty mouth. You'll see who.

Word Count: 3120 words, according to my online word count tool.

Pairing: Edward and Bella

Words selected: Event - Carnival, Place - Playground, Emotion - Melancholy, Object - Castle, Word - Awesomesauce

Summary: A carnival feels like no special occasion, for the one who always wears a mask. Can the familiar stranger help to set her free? An entry for the Pick Your Own Adventure contest.

Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I only claim the story.

She sits on the swings, in the elementary school playground. She watches the empty space before her, letting herself drift in her feeling of melancholy, lest she drowns in it.

It is the opening week-end of the Forks Winter Carnival, and already the town is buzzing with activity. There is ice staking on the river, a giant maze built out of snow, sculptures of both snow and ice, stands selling food and hot beverages or assorted souvenirs and knickknacks. And, of course, there is the ice castle, complete with a ballroom. Concerts are given there every night, except for opening night. The winter ball takes precedence. Over the concerts, and over her life.

In a few hours, Alice will come for her. They will go to the Cullen's, where Alice will spend hours getting her ready for the night with various torture techniques. "Beauty is pain," Alice will say. "Perfection takes time." She will eventually be deemed 'perfectly beautiful', or as Alice had recently taken to calling it: 'totally awesomesauce', ensconced inside a lovely but impractical ensemble. Alice will then get herself ready in 10 minutes. They will arrive at the ball fashionably late so everyone can see them arrive. She will be dragged to the dance floor by Emmett, under the eyes of the whole community, where she will inevitably trip on her three inch heels and fall, making everyone laugh. Including Emmett and Alice. Especially Emmett and Alice.

Somehow, at some unspecified point in time, the Cullen family became the center of her universe. It started out benignly enough. Her parents knew the Cullens: her chief of police father often worked side by side with the doctor, and Mrs Cullen and her mother shared an interest in arts and crafts. Mrs Cullen offered to babysit her after school and in the week-ends, because her parents were always so busy. She was Alice's age, so the two of them naturally became friends. Emmett was the big brother who made them laugh, when he didn't annoy them. It was picturesque, idyllic.

The reality of the situation slowly seeped into her consciousness. She realised that she was always at the Cullen's; her parents were never home. She assumed that it was because of their jobs, but she soon realised differently.

Her father's job was demanding and often kept him away, but so did his extensive fishing trips. It never occurred to him to invite her. Charlie just didn't know what to with a daughter, so he mostly ignored her.

Her mother, she eventually learned, didn't even work. She just took whatever excuse of a job she could find that would send her on the road. Crafting and selling the result of her efforts at county fairs. Blogging about concerts, or about the tourism industry of any state except the state of Washington. Writing poetry and the great American novel. She did everything that didn't look like too much work, anything that took her away from the man she regretted marrying after mere months and the daughter she couldn't admit to have, because it would make her a grown-up. Renee refused to stop being a teenager.

Faced with the brutal fact that she was the least important thing in her parent's life, she began to cling onto the only people who wanted her, the Cullen family. She loved the doctor, and his wife, and they loved her too. She found Alice funny, she watched in awe as her new best friend ploughed through life and she simply tagged along, thankful for the privilege of following her.

She had no great ambition, no real talent or passion. When she graduated high school, she had no idea what to study in college. She proposed to wait, to get a job somewhere until she knew what she wanted out of life. Her parents didn't care enough to object. The Cullens approved of her choice, telling her she had plenty of time for college, and how she had other options that would probably suit her better.

Soon after that, she and Emmett became a couple, and the Cullens gushed about how happy they were that she would soon join their family. She and Emmett were perfect for each other: she would settle him down, and he would bring some much needed humour in her life. Alice had already secured her position as the official wedding planner, and may have pick out a dress already.

She should have been happy, but she was not. She had not been for many years, long before she started dating Emmett, two years ago. Before she even graduated high school, she was always feeling an sense of malaise. She would look at those beautiful, joyous people who had taken her in, and she felt out of place. She would look at Emmett, who was supposed to love her and whom she was supposed to love back, and she felt nothing. Not the sisterly affection she used to have for him. Not the hate another woman would feel if she knew her fiancé was sleeping with a gorgeous engineering student who lead cheers for his college football team. Nothing. She looked at Alice, who was supposed to be her best friend, her sister, and she knew that whatever feeling of friendship was long gone, replaced by a sense of obligation.

"Bella?" Alice would say to Rosalie Hale, Emmett's lover. "She's just a sad little thing, really. We all feel sorry for her. My parents love her; she's the ideal woman for them. She never has an opinion, she can't do anything, she's the perfect trophy wife."

"Some trophy! Bella Swan. More like the ugly duckling!"

That was exactly what she thought, when Alice first said the name to her. Izzy would not do as a nickname anymore, Alice had declared. It was too childish. So she had been Bella ever since. It sounded so precious and superior, so unlike her. But Alice had spoken, and she followed, as always.

"So I'm supposed to just be Emmett's thing on the side, because I don't fit your parent's definition of a proper bride? Fuck that! I'm Rosalie Hale! I'm not taking second place for anybody. I don't share."

"Look, Rosalie, you do what you have to do. But I'm telling you, Emmett won't break up with Bella. My parents would never forgive him. Plus he would feel too bad for her. She has no other prospect."

Someone else would have barged into the room, outraged, after overhearing her supposed best friend talk about her this way. She merely walked away, the other two girls never realising that she had been there.

This conversation she overheard only confirmed her guesses on what the Cullens really thought of her. It took her so long to admit that the Cullens were not perfect. She took the brunt of their worst flaw on her own shoulders, because really, she clearly was the inferior one. The doctor and his wife's old fashion views, Emmett's cheating, Alice's contempt; it was all because she allowed it. And she allowed it because she had no other option. Alice was right about that.

She would go on, pretending that she didn't mind, that she was happy. She would wear the mask of Bella Swan, soon to be Bella Cullen, though it felt heavier every day. She would get up off the swings now, join back the carnival, and the metaphorical masquerade of her life.

Yet, there she sat, still. Having dropped the mask, even for a few minutes, she could not find the strength to pick it up again.

"Izzy? Is that you?"

Her breath caught. She had not been called Izzy in so long. She was Bella, now, whether she wanted it or not. The only person who broke the rule was Mrs Jane Newton, her employer, who only addressed her as Isabella. If the older woman had not been a sadistic perfectionist with a superiority complex, she would have been her favourite person in the world, just for that.

Perhaps it was a mistake. There were many Izzys in the world.

She turned toward the sound, mostly expecting a stranger to apologise for the mistake. What she saw instead was an eerily familiar figure. The man was tall, over six feet tall easily. Even through his bulky, navy blue winter coat, you could guess that he had an athlete's built, lean and strong. He was beautiful, like a living statue of Adonis; with a wide brow, a strong jaw, a straight nose and full lips. His green eyes pierced into her own, full of anticipation. Most of his hair was covered by a dark blue wool cap, but she could see some strands of bronze colour locks.

He looked exactly like Edward Masen, the husband of Esme's sister, Elizabeth. But the man standing in front of her was much too young to be Edward. Which could only mean one thing.

"Teddy?"

Teddy, Edward Masen junior of his real name, was the only son of Edward and Elizabeth. The Masens live in Chicago, but often came to Forks to visit their relatives and to take a break from their busy city lives, as they said. Teddy and Izzy were close to the same age, with him being about ten months younger, but they took to each other like paper and glue. Until he started going to boarding school, before she became Bella, they spent all the time they could together.

He was an old friend, grown into a new stranger. He was exactly what she needed, exactly when she needed it, even if she had not known until she saw him. He looked so relieved that it was her, that she remembered him. She jumped in his arms, crying, repeating "I'm so glad to see you" over and over again. He held her, saying nothing, until she calmed down a little.

"It's good to see you, too. I haven't been called Teddy is a real long time. I didn't realise how much I missed it."

"I haven't been called Izzy in a really long time either. I didn't think you were talking to me, earlier."

He slowly walks her to a bench, keeping his arms around her. He could sense that whatever energy had pushed her into his arms was slowly draining, and that she needed to sit down. He sat as well, because staying standing would mean losing contact.

"Izzy-belly, why are you so sad?"

"I ..." She could hardly bear to think the words. Saying them was the hardest thing that she's ever done in her life.

"I just don't know what to do. I can't live my life anymore. But I can't leave it. It's all over me. It's pushing against me, forcing me into a costume and a mask and playing a part that drains me of everything that I have. I have to be Bella Swan. I have to be Alice's best friend, even if Alice thinks that I'm a pitiful thing, not worth her time unless it's to play dress up. I have to be Emmett's fiancée, even though he's cheating on me with someone who is much better for him, and even if he only likes me as the butt of a joke. I have to be the Cullens' future daughter-in-law, who will keep the house and smile a lot and just do nothing my whole life. What choice do I have? The Cullens have spoken, and I have no way to argue with them. I don't have a talent, or a passion, or anything that could make me stand out and stand up. Everyone is telling me how lucky I am, how this is perfect for me. Even my parents. They're all too happy to send me to the Cullens, so I can be out of their sights and out of their minds. Even if they didn't, I'm not sure it would help. Everyone falls in line with the Cullens, except my annoying boss, who's the only person to call me Isabella. My dislike for her is the only genuine emotion I've felt in so long. But whenever I try to complain, just to vent a little, just to feel something, Alice or Mrs Cullen or the Doctor just say that I'll be married to Emmett after he finishes college, and I can quit then. They say I won't need the job then, but they're wrong. Whenever I hear about quitting, my stomach drops. I don't want to quit, it's all I have. Without it, I would be nothing. Sometimes, I think that's what they want. They don't want me, just the Stepford wife version of me, the robot, the pretty empty shell. So they suck and they suck away, until there's nothing left. Just a costume and a mask, and nothing inside. "

She was crying and panting, trying to catch her breath. He held her, rubbing circles on her back. Once she calmed down a little, she began to sense some underling tension in him.

"I'm sorry," she says. "It was a lot to just dump on you like that. You probably didn't even understand half of it."

"Oh, I think I did. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know exactly how you feel."

She stayed silent for a minute, trying to understand what her familiar stranger hd just told her. Finally, she said: "I don't understand."

"You remember earlier, when I said I hadn't been called Teddy in a long time?" She nodded. "You know what they call me now? They call me Ed junior." It was his turn to talk, now. She let him. "Because I look like my dad, I must be like my dad. I'm expected to. I must go to law school, and then to the DA's office, and then in politics. Exactly the steps that he followed. I must court a proper socialite, who has already been chosen by my parents, actually. The marriage is all set up, all I have to do is show up. The fact that I don't like the law, and politics even less, and Tanya least of all? It doesn't matter. I am Edward Masen's heir. My path is all set, written in stone."

They stay quiet a moment, as she tries to find the words to comfort him. Before anything comes to her mind, though, he speaks again. "But I'm not taking it. I'm jumping off the path."

What could he mean, jump off the path. Surely, he was not going to ... "Teddy..."

"I'm running away. Today."

The statement shocked her. She stared at him as he continued his explanation. "I saved aside a lot of money, and I don't need much. I sold my car and bought another one. I didn't want to risk my parents tracking me down by the licence plate. I used this trip mostly as an excuse that my parents would accept to get out of Chicago. I was planning to just leave town. I wasn't sure why I came all the way here anyway. I thought maybe to say goodbye to the Cullens. They always looked like they were the cool relatives. If I'd known what they've been doing to you ..."

"They didn't do anything. It's just ..."

"But I get it, now, why I had to come. I was coming to save you. Come with me, Izzy."

She was stunned once more. He was looking at her, expectantly. It felt like an eternity before she could squeak out this one word: "What?"

"Run away with me."

The idea was too big, too scary. And if she was honest with herself, just a little too tempting. "Where?"

"Anywhere. Where do you want to go?"

"Napa." The answer came out so fast. She had no idea where it came from, why, of all the places, this one flew out of her mouth. She meant to list all the reasons why they couldn't just leave like that. She was on the verge of taking it back, but he was already answering.

"Northern California, nice. No snow in the winter, but not unbearably hot in the summer. Wine country, very pretty, very picturesque."

"Edward, I wasn't serious. We can't just leave."

"Why not? Give me one good reason to stay."

She was supposed to stay. To go back to Alice and Emmett, to be the pretty, empty girl that the Cullens loved to pity.

But, oh! How she wanted to leave. Now that Edward had come, and showed her the possibility of a future she never imagined, she wanted that future. She ached for it. Reaching for it and missing would destroy her. she was petrified.

"What are we going to do in Napa?"

"Anything we want. We can get a crappy apartment and crappy jobs. Save some money, go to college, get less crappy job. We could form a band and play in bars. We could join the circus. We can do anything. Let's just go and do it."

She was going to. She knew it. The hope in her chest was pushing away all the feelings of fear and doubt.

"I would have to quit my job. I'm supposed to give two weeks' notice." As soon as she said the words, she had an idea. She knew it would be improper, impolite, and even wrong. She caught her lower lips in her teeth, a shy smile peeking through, a glint of humour in her eyes.

Seeing the joy in his friend's eyes brought him much pleasure. He had no idea what she was planning to do, but he was sure that it was exactly what she needed. He smiled back at her, encouraging her.

Suddenly, while she had the courage to be reckless, she called her employer.

"Newton's."

"Mrs. Newton, this is Isabella Swan. You know that I have two weeks of vacation saved? I need to take them now."

"Isabella, you know that it's against store policy to use up all your vacation time at once."

"Well, I guess you're going to have to make an exception. And you better use that time to find someone to replace me and train them, because I'm using that vacation time as my two weeks' notice. I quit."

As abruptly as she made the call, she ended it. She turned to Edward. "Quick, we have to go to the bank and close my account before they close. And before I change my mind."

That last sentence was more a jest then a threat, and they both knew it. She had made up her mind, she would not change it. They ran together out of the park, and out of the masquerade that their lives had been, in quest of the possibilities.