And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love, you make.
Spike silently climbed the stairs, his footsteps not making the slightest sound as he neared his destination. The vampire held his head down as he ascended, faint shadows caressing his tired face. Abruptly the flight of steps ended, bringing the peroxide vampire to a dimly lit hallway, its only light coming from a small lamp that sat on a wooden side table. Spike turned his head from side to side, his blue eyed gaze quickly scanning the surrounding area. After noting the emptiness of the corridor, Spike quickly made his way towards one of the doors that lined the passageway. However, with ever step that he took, Spike's usually confident gait faltered slightly, a deep seated nervousness starting to grip the peroxide blond vampire's mind and body. In a matter of seconds, he was standing directly in front of a solid white-painted door and with a deep calming breath, the demon turned the doorknob and looked into the know open room.
The room was darkened, save for a few lighted candles that gave off the delicate scent of vanilla, bathing the entire room in their fragrance. Puzzled, Spike glanced around the chamber, his gaze landing on the shadowy frame of a young woman siting on the edge of the window, her face bathed in moonlight as she looked towards the starry sky. The vampire hesitated, his eyes turning back towards the open door ready to leave as quietly as he entered for he was unsure on whether or not he should stay but, the female's words halted his imminent retreat.
"What are you doing here Spike?" Buffy asked quietly, her voice seeped in the tiredness of someone who had fought too many emotional and physical battles in too short a period.
Spike cautiously approached her, his stare taking in the slayer's wearied look, his heart seeming to constrict in sympathy as he felt the pain that surrounded her like a palpable aura of despair.
"I came to see how you were," the vampire replied gently as he came to stand a few feet away from Buffy.
Suddenly, the petite young woman jerked her head sharply towards Spike, pining him with a gaze of pure rage and hatred, her face a mask of animosity with an underlying hint of pain and heartbreak.
"Came to see how I am?" she spit out, as she lowered her legs to the soft carpet. "I was wondering how long it would be before you came to gloat. I guess I didn't have long to wait, huh?" With deadly rapidity, Buffy soon crossed the few feet that had separated her from Spike, stopping once she was a foot away from the vampire before she continued. "So, did you come here to see how much pain I'm in so that you can get off on it? C'mon then. What are you waiting for?" Buffy seethed, her emerald eyes shooting of lightning hot flashes as she pinned the vampire before her with her gaze.
Spike looked down at her in silence, his head tilted to the side as he took in Buffy's haggard appearance. Her usually immaculate dark blonde hair hung in disarray, the unruly tresses framing her face. She was void of all make-up, the only thing marring the perfection of her skin were the dried tracks of tears shed hours ago. Spike yearned to take her into his arms, his hands smoothing her hair as he lightly kissed the tears away but he knew that that would not be the best thing to do. Instead he opted for the closest thing that he could hope to get, he grabbed the raging slayer by the shoulders and shook her as he stared into her eyes.
"You think that I came here to laugh at your pain? Sorry, but I'm not as heartless as you make me out to be," he ground out. "If all I that wanted was to get off on your bloody pain, I would've done that when your mum was in the hospital."
Buffy stared back up at him, an expression of anger etched into her face. "Don't touch me!" she spat out coldly as she shoved the vampire away from her, her hands colliding painfully with Spike's chest.
"Bloody hell!" Spike gasped in pain, the minute that the slayer's hands made contact with his body. With a grunt, the bleached blond collapsed to the floor, his hand held firmly against his chest as he rested on his knees.
Anger was soon replaced by irritated confusion as Buffy gazed down at the prone vampire. "Oh please," she mocked, her hands firmly resting on her hips. "I barely even touched you. Don't tell me that you've become an even bigger pussy than you already were?"
"Piss off," Spike growled out as he felt the sticky wetness of blood seep through his black T-shirt. "Just great," he commented loudly to himself as he moved his hand away, "It's bleeding again. Thanks a lot slayer," he said with a pained scowl as he got back up to his feet and stumbled to Buffy's bed before falling onto the soft mattress with a sigh.
"You're bleeding?" Buffy asked bewildered. "What the hell happened to you?"
"Your boy toy gave me a little 'present' when he visited me this afternoon," Spike said sarcastically as he propped himself up on his left elbow and brought up his right hand to pull his shirt up, revealing the large open wound that graced his shoulder.
"Oh my god," Buffy gasped as she took in the bleeding stab wound. "What did he do to you?"
"He staked me," Spike answered with a chuckle as he took in the confused look on the girl's face. "It was a plastic stake."
Her lips mouthed a silent "Oh" before looking at the vampire again, this time with irritation. "Hey, get off my bed then. I don't want you bleeding all over it."
"Tough titties, love. It's your fault anyway. You're the one who opened it up again. Besides, I'm comfortable here," Spike said smugly as he lay down on the bed, his legs dangling over the side.
"You've got to be the most annoying vampire to ever grace the earth," Buffy sighed in exasperation as she sat on the edge of the bed, her head falling into her hands.
Looking closely at the slumped over figure of the slayer, Spike raised himself up, and moved closer to her, his position mimicking Buffy's as he stared at her covered face.
"So..." he began quietly, trailing off slightly before continuing. "Are you going to tell me what happened earlier tonight, or are we just going to sit here in uncomfortable silence?"
Buffy snorted in amusement, before turning her head to face the vampire. "You want me to tell you what happened? Now, why would you even care to know?"
"I don't care, but since I'm here and all, I might as well get something out of it."
"Whatever." Buffy said before turning her head away. With a deep sigh, Buffy continued softly. "Well, the gist of the whole thing is, is that we broke up. Riley even left, joined up with the government again on some secret demon hunting gig."
Spike whistled softly, "Fuck. That git joined up with those army pricks again? Never saw that coming," he commented with a shake of his head.
"Neither did I," Buffy replied as she looked down at her hands. "I mean after all that had happened with the Initiative, you'd think that he'd steer clear of those bastards, but I guess I was wrong. Just as I've been with everything concerning him."
"Hey," Spike reprimanded., "Don't beat yourself up over it. People make mistakes, it happens. No need to think it the end of the world because of what happened with Riley."
Buffy got off the bed and began stalking back and forth, her pent-up rage and anger coming to the surface again.
"Yeah, well, how many mistakes am I going to make?" she seethed. "Am I doomed to having one fucked up love life? My first love turns evil, is sent to hell by me, and then when he comes back, he moves away. My second lover was the "male whore of UC Sunnydale" and used me. Then came Riley. The one guy whom I thought was normal, well, normal by Sunnydale standards anyway, and would never betray me, ended up feeling threatened by my being more powerful than him. So, he becomes the all-you-can-eat buffet for vampire whores." With a half-sob, Buffy collapsed on the bed, her body lying next to the seated vampire. "Is my life destined to be like this?"
"Damn you're right," Spike commented. "You have really had one bloody fucked up love life now, haven't you?" Buffy glared menacingly up at the vampire, prompting him to continue. "But they weren't your fault. Like this time with Riley. It was not your fault that the blighter felt so damn threatened about the superhuman bit that he had to get two bit suck jobs from vampire trollops."
"But why did he have to go in the first place? And why did he continue going? Couldn't he have just talked to me about it?"
"C'mon Buffy," Spike said as he turned to look down at the lying slayer, his dark blue eyes fastening on her green ones. "Even you know the power of a vampire's bite." Spike's voice grew low, as he went on, the deep sound washing over Buffy like a sweetly caressing wave. "The sudden rush of pain and pleasure that accompanies the sharp sting of the bite, the sharp fangs piercing your skin in one fluid motion. Then the steadily increasing sexual high as the vampire starts drinking your blood, the rich red nectar leaving your body as it enters your partner, creating a whirlwind feeling of power and dominance for both vampire and human. You've been there yourself," he said as he gently moved her hair away from her neck, his fingertips slowly outlining the fading the scars on the side of her throat.
Buffy closed her eyes involuntarily at the feel of Spike's cool fingers dancing along the side of her neck, causing the vampire's lips to curl up into a small smile. His fingers continued to caress her neck, her heated skin practically scorching Spike's digits. Suddenly noticing that her eyes had closed and that the beating of her heart had accelerated, Buffy quickly sat up, and rubbed her hand over the side of her neck, trying to rub the pleasurable feeling of Spike's fingers away from her skin.
After taking a deep breath, Buffy retorted. "Ok, fine. That explains why he kept going back, but why did he have to go in the first place? Did he think that I would actually love him more if he became a whore for vampire whores?"
"The answer to that is, yes," Spike answered simply. Buffy face twisted in rage and was about to jump off the bed but the vampire quickly grabbed a hold of her arm and held her tightly before continuing, effectively cutting off what Buffy was going to say. "Just listen to me Buffy."
"Fine," Buffy bit out scornfully, "Enlighten me."
Spike looked down at her for a brief second before speaking. "Riley knew that a part of you would always love Angel, and that that was something that you'd never be able to let go. And as much as you'd like to deny it, a part of you is grounded in darkness. You deal with it everyday and on some level you are fascinated by it and you crave it. That is probably one of the reasons that you were attracted to peaches. He is a "dark and mysterious" vampire, albeit a souled and poofy one. This is also why you were so enthralled by Dracula; the lure of the darkness was too strong for you to resist. Riley knew this. Therefore, in that little mind of his, he got the idea that if he tried to be dark and dangerous, you would be able to love him too. However, that is something that is not in his nature and no matter how hard he tries, things will not work out the way that he wants them too."
Buffy listened to him silently, and when Spike was finished, she got off the bed and fixed him with a cold stare. "What makes you think that you're so right? Where do you get off assuming who I am and how I feel?"
"Because, as loathe as you and I are to admit it, I know you," Spike stated as he got off the bed, and stood directly in front of the irate slayer. "I can read you like a book, the varying expressions on your face akin to the words on paper. I always seem to know what you're thinking and what you're feeling. But most importantly, I have a better understanding of you than you have of yourself."
"I'm just so tired of this," Buffy sighed, sadness overtaking her once again as a lone tear ran down her cheek. "I just can't do this anymore Spike. I can't keep on going through the incessant barrage of men who simply come into my life for a brief time before leaving it with a path of destruction in their wake. It's getting to be too much to handle."
Debating with himself for a second, Spike put his arms around the slayer, holding the slightly trembling young woman close to his body. Surprised, Buffy held her body stiffly at first, ready to break away, but the comforting feel of Spike holding her overpowered the desire to move away. So, in a move that surprised both vampire and slayer, Buffy relaxed into the embrace, resting her head on Spike's shoulder as she sought to replenish her tired body with strength from the blond. Spike rested his head on top of Buffy's, and with a sigh he whispered, "I know Buffy, I know."
And in the darkness of the room as the candles slowly extinguished, vampire and slayer were left standing in the middle of the room, both wrapped in each other's arms in a comforting embrace.