My blood drips onto the coals that symbolise Dauntless. A lock of my dark hair falls in front of my face and I brush it away. I smile. Freedom. Free from telling the truth. Every. Single. Day.
My mom and sister are watching me, I guess they didn't even think I would choose Dauntless. But I did. Rose shakes her head, did I betray her? No, I didn't. I just declared my own freedom.
Candor wasn't exactly a great faction, I'm just going to say. People always telling you how much they hate you, having to tell people I hate them- it just isn't the life for me. Maybe Dauntless is. That's what my aptitude test told me, anyway. I stand among the Dauntless, the ones who have chosen anyway.
I stand silently, proudly, as I watch the other sixteen year olds make their decision. Candor is a large faction, as one would expect, and I hate basically everyone in it. Especially Peter Hayes and Molly Atwood. Drew's not as bad, but I still hate him. Molly chose Dauntless, I knew that before I went because she was one of the first to choose. I wasn't going to let her stop me from being free. Why should I?
Peter Hayes just chose Dauntless. Peter Hayes just chose Dauntless. Okay, now that makes me question my freedom. He is fit for Dauntless though, like all Candor. It takes a lot of bravery to say what you think all the time, when it's highly likely that you could get beat up. At least I don't have to say everything on my mind anymore. But I'll never stop with Peter.
I don't believe it. Drew chose Dauntless too, the three amigos always stick together they would say. They would never leave each other they said to their families. Wow. That's low even for Peter of all people.
A lanky-but-attractive Abnegation boy just chose Erudite, Jeanine Matthews is going to love that. I recognise that boy, too. He's the son of an Abnegation leader, Andrew Prior. He's one of the few that I remember, all Abnegation look the same to me. Abnegation never change fractions. That Prior kid makes that the second Abnegation to switch factions today.
That must be some sort of record.
A short-but-not-exactly-willowy Abnegation girl, who I also think is one of Andrew Prior's children, let's her bleeding hand hover over the Abnegation stones and the Dauntless coals. Abnegation never choose Dauntless. But she does.
Three Abnegation kids in one day. Now that has to be a record.
Surprisingly, a lot of people switch factions- except for the Dauntless and Abnegation. Standard. But there's something up with the Dauntless this year. One of the leaders, I think, has a greedy, hungry smile on his face every time someone chooses Dauntless. So does Jeanine Matthews, even though she's Erudite. I'm normally curious. Always have been. Always will. And my curiosity is leading me somewhere that I don't like.
But that's what I did in Candor. I won't do that in Dauntless. Although curiosity isn't all bad.
The Choosing Ceremony is over. I try to get one last glimpse of my family, of my friends, but the Dauntless run up the stairs. Aren't there elevators for a reason? Nobody takes stairs, only Abnegation. I see the Abnegation-turned-Dauntless girl try to see through their motives, but Abnegation aren't raised that way. They're all raised, wear gray, don't look in the mirror, don't touch each other in public, don't talk unless you are spoken to. Thank goodness I was raised Candor.
A Dauntless-born past me and bumps into me. "Hey!" I shout. The boy, obviously scared about facing the wrath of a Candor Girl, freezes. "I'm Uriah." "Christina." I reply. Uriah shakes my hand and I follow him. Everybody stops. A sound comes from the distance. The Dauntless-borns know what's happening. I vaguely think it's a train. It's a train. I heard the trains don't stop. Ever. I see Dauntless jump in and out of them everyday. Which means initiation starts very, very soon.
It starts right now.
The Dauntless run. I run. We all run. Everyone has to run if they don't want to be factionless. Apparently death is better than being factionless.
I jump into the train, with some difficulty. Good thing I'm fast.
The Abnegation girl, the Prior's daughter, slams her shoulder into the car. Hard. I help her in. She is gasping so I can't tell, but I think she says thanks. We hear a shout and a moan and we both turn to the sound.
The Erudite boy, who must be accountable for the moaning, isn't fast or lucky. An Erudite girl is screaming for him to run, but he can't. He failed Dauntless initiation already. He's factionless. He drops to his knees in disappointment.
"You all right?" I ask the Abnegation girl. She nods. "I'm Christina." I shake her hand and she says quietly, "Beatrice."
"You know where we're going?" Beatrice sits down. I raise an eyebrow. "A fast train means wind. Wind means falling out. Get down." she says. If she's this smart, why didn't she choose Erudite? I sit next to her. I've never been good at making friends, but she seems like she might. This might work out. I'll need a friend if initiation is always this tough.
"I guess we're going to Dauntless headquarters, but I don't know where that is." Beatrice says in answer to my question earlier. I nod. Abnegation kids don't really get to go as many places as the other factions. They go to school, the factionless quarters, their houses and little else. Period.
"Does anyone? It's like they just popped out of a hole in the ground or something." I grin. Unless you are Dauntless, generally nobody knows where it is.
"They're jumping off!" Somebody shouts. Oh no. The train slows down a little bit, we're in the last car so we get to see the others jump first. "We have to jump off too, then." Molly Atwood says, her crooked teeth giving her a slight lisp. "Great, because that makes perfect sense, Molly. Leap off a train onto a roof." Peter replies. Great. I'm stuck with them for the rest of my life, if we all make it through initiation.
"This is kind of what we signed up for, Peter." Large-nosed-Molly replies. "Well, I'm not doing it." says some olive-skinned Amity transfer. The only Amity transfer. Not many Amity convert to Dauntless. That banjo strumming softie is gonna end up factionless, he has to jump. I have to help him. He's been crying, his cheeks have tears all over them
"You've got to or you fail. Come on, it'll be alright." I push. He has to. He must. "No, it won't! I'd rather be factionless than dead!" He shakes his head in terror. Factionless over death? What a loony. I stare at him. What's wrong with him? What does he think he's achieving here? If he chooses to be factionless, he'll end up dead there. Amity factionless always end that way, they can't fight for food because of all that peace-nonsense in their heads. I shake the thought away, it's his funeral. Not mine.
"You can't force him." Beatrice's quiet voice says. I press my lips together. Gosh, the Amity are so messed up. More messed up than the Dauntless. Which I am trying to become. Which I am about to jump off a roof to become. Right now.
"Here," Beatrice raises an eyebrow at my extended hand but I guess she decides if she's gonna die, we're better off dying together. As soon as she takes my hand I shout, "Onethree!" We jump. We jump. I land pretty well, I think. I laugh. I actually laugh. I really think I will fit in here. So will Beatrice. We will live a happy life here. I can feel it.
"That was fun," I say to Beatrice, who just got a cheek-full of gravel. Molly holds her ankle, that clumsy loser. Peter grins, ugh, he landed on his feet. That stupid show-off.
"No! No!" I hear a girl wail. Oh no. This can't be good. A Dauntless boy is holding a wailing Dauntless girl by the waist. They are standing on the edge of the building. A go over to see what all the fuss is about, and lose my breath. "Rita, Rita, calm down. Rita." the boy says. Rita sinks to her knees. I know why.
A Dauntless girl, her sister I presume, is dead on the pavement. Her black-clothed limbs are bent in uncomfortable and awkward angles. I feel like crying. I never even met the girl. Thank goodness it was only her. At least it wasn't me. I wish it was Peter. I wish it was Molly. Not this innocent girl. This is wrong. I don't doubt that she was brave, but to die for her pride? It's ridiculous. I'm about to tell someone how absurd and cruel it is when I stop.
I am not Candor. I am not Dauntless. But if I want to be, I have to survive initiation. If I want to survive I'd better shut my mouth. No more Candor for me. Because now the most dangerous part of initiation is still to come.
And I'd better hide that cowardice if I want to be brave. I want to be brave.