This can't be happening. That was all I was thinking of as I sat in the tub. This can't be happening.

I had started the bath water as soon as I got done going to the bathroom and was shaking the entire time. The world around me was crumbling but the smell of lavender and vanilla in the air was calming me a little bit. What would happen next? Everything in my life could change in one second and there would be nothing I could do to control it. What's done is done and now all I could do was sit and wait. Playing with the bubbles was helping too.

Three months ago…

"How is everyone doing tonight? I just want to say thanks to all of you and enjoy your summer!" Ian yelled from the stage that was at the front of the room. He seemed to be more sober than the majority of us who were already plastered at the season finale party. "Whoo!" Everyone shouted including me as I was dancing around the room with Naya. "Who wants another drink?" Mark shouted out as he made his way to the bar from our group. "I'll take another round of shots!" I yelled to him raising my glass up to him but Harry took it out of my hands then. "You have had more than enough Jen. I actually think it's time to head home." He put his arm around me and started leading me to the door. "We are only having a good time Harry. Chill a little bit." I tried to walk away then but stumbled into the table next to me knocking half of the empty glasses that were on it off onto the floor. "That is it, I'm taking you home." He threw me over his shoulder and started walking out of the party room towards the door. I remember looking up and waving at all of our friends who were laughing at the current situation going on around them.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

My phone started alarming and I was pulled out of the fuzzy memory from a few months ago. I slowly got out of the tub and wrapped my robe around me before draining the water out. The water was quiet as it filtered down the drain causing me to become completely calm for a second that was until I looked at the sink. My heart stopped when I did and found tears starting to fall down my eyes without my command. Everything was completely numb now as I started to walk towards my bed and sat down. A picture of Michael and I at Times Square was placed in a beautiful picture frame on my nightstand was staring up at me as if it knew and it just added to my shock I felt. Maybe it was just time for me to try to go to bed and get a break from this for right now. I would have to talk to him tomorrow because this was one thing I can't deal with alone.

"Harry, I am fine. Just let me be and I will wake up hung over and throwing up just like normal people." I told him as I was lying on my bed as he was trying to help me take my shoes off while I was moving around trying to get comfortable. "I am not leaving Jen. That last thing I need is for you drown in your own vomit because you were being difficult and wouldn't let me in stay on your couch." He told me as I sat up and tried to pull my top shirt off that had sharp little sequins digging in through the small tank top that was on underneath it. "Fine you can stay but don't start snoring and keep me up all night."

I was jerked out of the dream by the gut wrenching feeling that I had been having for the last few days. Running to bathroom that already had a bottle of water on the sink waiting for me since I had a feeling I would need it. The huge amount of courage I had last night was misplaced by fear for me and for everything that was changing. Was he going to be mad at me or hate me? The fear caused me to rock back and forth on my bathroom floor with my arms wrapped around my legs. I have to get through this.

Cough, Cough "Jen, are you ok?" He asked as he got up and walked to the doorway of my room. My back was facing him and I was looking at the opposite wall trying to catch my breath. "I'm fine Shum just coughing a little. The alcohol is still kicking my ass right now." I tried moving my arm around to my back to move the stupid tag out of my way so it would stop scratching me. "What are you trying to do?" He asked seeing as he was still standing at the doorway watching me making a fool out of myself trying to fix a small problem. "The tag is bothering me and I can't get it to go away." I heard the small footprints that he was making and the mattress move as he sat down next to me. "Sit up", I followed his order at sat up and stretched my arms up in the air. He moved to remove the shirt and threw it on the ground before turning back at me. All he was doing now was looking at me in my bra and pajama shorts that I was able to stumble into once he had left my room for the couch. "When did you get this tattoo?" He asked pointing to the one that was right under my right breast. "I got it about two weeks ago. Each one of my tattoos mean something to me because of places where important things have happened, big events in my life, or just things that have happened that I always want to remember. This is the one I got to always remember my role on Glee." "What does it mean?" "It is the Chinese symbol for Chang. I figured that it is part of my character's last name and it's your character's last name. The way their paths are going it might be her only last name." He moved his hand then to rub the tattoo gently and slowly began to lean in as if for a kiss. "We can't do this." I breathed even though there was nothing more I wanted in this moment than to go the remainder inch to touch my lips to his. "We have done this a hundred times already." "That was different and you know it. Plus we are still drunk." "I didn't drink anything tonight." "What?" "All I drank was soda and water." I jumped into his arms then and smashed my lips to his.

"It is great to be back for season 4! We are going to be filming two scenes this morning. The first one will be of Rachel walking around her new dorm setting up pictures and hanging up her clothes while the second crew will be working on the Mike and Tina goodbye scene on page 28. Let's have a great first day back everyone." Ryan announced as we started to go our own ways. "I bet your going to have some fun today Shum." I heard Mark say to him as he started walking to his trailer at the other end of the lot. "You're a lucky getting to film a bedroom scene with Jen today." I saw Harry smack the back of Mark's head while they continued to walk.

After I went to wardrobe and makeup, I headed to the secondary stage and saw Harry already walking around wearing his sandals and the boxers. I had to stop for a second as the sight of this made my body start to react in ways that was almost embarrassing. This was how things three months ago started and the fact that he was waving at me with the smile that I love didn't help either. "Hey Jen, How was your summer? I'm sorry I didn't keep in contact with you. It was wrong of me not to call you back the next day. I just didn't know what to say or do after what happened." "It's ok Harry but there is something that I do need to talk to you about though." "So are you guys ready for this? You are going to have to do some serious acting with this scene and I hope it won't be too awkward for you guys. This is going to be a flashback scene that Tina will be thinking back on as she is talking to Blaine. We need this to be filled with as much emotion that you can give us." Brad told us as he came walking on to set clapping his hands. "I think we will be able to handle it." Harry said as headed to the bed they had created for Tina's bedroom and took his sandals off. I pulled my robe off so I was just standing there in my bra and boy cut underwear before I sat next to him on the bed. "You covered up our tattoo", that was all he said before Brad yelled action and we started reciting our lines and scooting closer together.

"That was great you guys! Now we just need to shoot the special scene that hasn't been announced yet to anyone. Your outfits are in the small dressing rooms to change into for the next scene." Brad told us before he went back to talking to the crew for a bit. "Do you think Mike is proposing to Tina?" "I have no idea but I really hope so. I still really need to talk to you though as soon I can." "Yeah no problem, we can go to lunch after this because we will be done for the day and I have really missed you this summer. I don't regret what we did but I do regret that it kept us apart for three months." He said before he closed the curtain to his makeshift dressing room. How could he fix everything and make my heart skip a beat without even trying? I walked into my room then and noticed that there was a long sleeve cotton dress with knee high socks but no shoes. So I guess we weren't walking around outside or anything for this. I quickly changed and made my way back to the set to see Harry already there wearing his normal jeans and plaid shirt. "Ok great, so the new path that your characters are taking will be a pregnancy. Tina finds out in another scene that she might be pregnant and this is where she tells you and takes a test." "I had a feeling this might happen. Personally I think it is great twist for the characters." Harry announced slightly jumping up and down like a kid while I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. This was not the way I wanted our characters stories to go at all.

"I know you are excited about this arch but you have to act completely surprised when Tina tells you she is pregnant Harry." Brad told Harry laughing because he was still too excited to hear about the new arch. I don't know if it was because he thought the two characters having a baby was a great twist, if it meant that he was guaranteed for a larger part in the series, or maybe just maybe he was excited about the idea of us being parents. That thought lost me for a minute as I started to think about that scenario. It was almost too perfect to imagine but it made my heart melt at the same time. "Ok, let's take it from the top again. Harry, go sit next to Jenna on the bed again. Now remember we want serious shock faces not happy jumping up and down reactions Harry. Your characters are still very young and this would be a bigger deal to them than it would if they were older and Jenna, if you have any tricks to help get a good reaction out of him, this would be the time to use them." "I'm sorry this is taking so long. I just have to remember shocked." He said the last part to himself. "I'm pregnant"

The words sort of spilled out of my mouth without me realizing it. I looked at Shum scared of what his reaction was going to be now but all he did was look at me for a brief second before smiling again. "You have that line down perfectly! Now we just have to get my part right." "Action" I heard Brad yell in the back part of my brain but wasn't really paying attention to him right now since I was in the middle of my confession and didn't want to lose my nerve. "I'm serious, I am very much pregnant." "It isn't possible. We have always been safe." I heard Harry say his scripted line and realized he wasn't getting my message at all. "Do you remember the party three months ago where I got completely wasted and you carried me home? You stayed with me that night and even laid on the couch for the first part but then moved into my room with me when you were worried about me. I still felt drunk but you told me you had nothing to drink and then we made love like nothing else I had even experienced. That was the night we conceived our baby."

Harry now had the perfect face of shock. It was clear Brad was happy with it when he yelled cut and started clapping while running to us. "That was brilliant! I knew that you guys would be able to nail this scene. Harry I wouldn't have been able to have given a better faced than you did and Jenna, you deviated away from the lines a little bit but I honestly don't care because that was perfection. I have to head over to stage A for the next scene being filmed there but we will film the rest of this scene for the second episode in three hours. Great job guys" Brad started running over to the other stage while the crew started making their way out the door also. "What is going on Jen? Was all of that just to get me to act shocked or is it all true?" He asked me while we were still sitting on the bed alone in the large filming stage. "I'm sorry Harry but it is all true. I found out last night that I was pregnant and it is yours." "How do you know that? It could be Michael's baby." "The first time I saw him since before we had wrapped was 5 weeks after the party. I realized two days ago that I had missed three periods because I was too involved in enjoying my summer. Once I had figured out the timeline, you were the only one that made sense." "I made sure we used protection that night." "I guess it broke." He flung himself backwards so he was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't believe in adoption or abortion, so I plan on having this baby and loving it more than anything. This isn't perfect timing but everything happens for a reason even if that reason is still unknown. You can be a part of this child's life as much as you want but you are not obligated to. I plan on breaking things off with Michael this afternoon because he will be devastated by all of this and I don't want to put him through it." I stood up and started walking back to my trailer where I would wait out the next three hours before filming. Harry didn't try to follow me and I'm pretty sure he didn't even move since I didn't hear any noise but didn't turn around either because I didn't want to see his face.

I lay on the small bed in my trailer while old reruns of my favorite shows when I was younger were playing in the background. Was I making the right decision? I had always thought to be against anything that was meant to happen and couldn't understand how some girls or women could even think about adoption or abortion. Now I knew that when you find out it is a scary thing especially when you don't have a serious boyfriend or husband. Michael would not want to stay with me through all of this and I didn't blame him but it meant that I would be left alone. Harry would probably end up helping me but I didn't want to think of him as a reliable person considering he is still processing everything and I didn't know what he was thinking now even though we are really good friends. Somewhere in between my thoughts my hand had moved to my stomach and was rubbing in through the dress I was still wearing from our last scene. It was hard to imagine that I had a baby growing in there; a baby that would make its way into the world in a few months and would capture my heart completely. The tears started falling down my face again.

There were two calls I needed to make now that my revelation has started to wear down a little. The first one was to the OB doctor that I had been seeing since I moved out here so I could take a look at my baby for the first time. The second call was not going to be a happy one though. I knew without a doubt that I was going to keep this baby and nothing no one could ever say to me will change my mind now. I was going to be a mom but Michael wasn't ready to be a dad. Michael needed to be told the truth from me before the rumors and speculations started up. Sitting up on my bed, I grabbed my tissues and hit the speed dial button for his number. Here we go.

The tears were under control now as I started to make my way back to the set to film the rest of the scene in 20 minutes. I stopped short when I pulled my trailer door open to see Harry's back as he was sitting on the steps. "Harry?" "I want to be a part of the baby's life. If it really is mine then I'm going to be the daddy and spend as much time with it as I can." He said not turning his head to look at me. I walked down the few steps so I was sitting next to him. "Are you completely sure about this Harry? It is going to be a lot of work especially with our jobs and not to mention Shelby. What will she say when she finds out that you are having a baby with someone else?" "I called Shelby and told her everything. She was very mad but agreed with me that I needed to be the best dad I could be and that is what I plan on doing." "That is really adult of her. Michael wasn't happy at all and it sounded like he was relieved when I told him we needed to go our separate ways now." "Shelby wasn't happy about that part either." "You and Shelby broke up? I thought you guys were still staying together and she was just cool with it." "I have always felt like I have had stronger feeling for you than friendship that is one of the reasons we slept together in the first place. I want to give this experience everything I have including spending all the time I can with you. If that mean that we stay great friends and parents then great but if we turn into lovers then even better."

I was speechless by his confession. He knew the price this was going to take and wasn't afraid to take it with me. Maybe this was the reason for the pregnancy, to bring two lost souls together where they belong. "Are you ready to head to the set?" Harry stood up and held his hand out for mine. "Yeah" "When is your doctor's appointment?" "Tomorrow at 2" "I will pick you up at noon so we can eat before." We walked to the set with our hands linked together.

I don't own anything Glee just love the show! This was a little story that I had thought about for awhile but only typed a few words at a time but have now finished. It is the last Shushkowitz story I will be writing. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks