I have to say it, I was honestly underwhelmed by the Pavorotti burial scene at the end of OS. It seemed like an afterthought, and a poorly scripted one at that. Just left me really feeling that all the tension, feelings and emotions expressed in that lounge didn't even happen. This is what could have happened.
As always I don't own glee, wish as much as I did. If I did the episodes would have more of Luck and Klaine and their REAL relationships and not as much hi drama,
Regionals was over, New Directions had won, and the Warblers were sitting on the bus on the way back to Dalton. Even the boys who's parents had come to watch and wish them on had to ride back with the group. And so Kurt and Blaine found themselves in the back two seats both kind of staring into their own private oblivion, both for very different reasons.
This is all my fault. Kurt thought, staring out the window into the darkness. I should never have let Blaine talk me into that duet. Of course we got the panel of Bible thumpers as judges. He and I singing together was a mistake. I let everyone down. I can't compete vocally with Blaine, really with any of the guys. And that song was just too much, too much emotion, too much feeling, too much of everything. I couldn't even keep myself in check for the most important performance for this group. It's all my fault.Sitting there, staring at nothing he couldn't help the tear that ran down his cheek.
He hasn't even looked at me once since they announced New Directions as the winners. Is he ashamed of me? Did I push things too fast? I just wanted him to know that I finally realized how much he means to me. I really was blind enough that I couldn't see that he had gone beyond friend in my mind. I was so scared of hurting him, screwing things up, and now I feel like I have. Was I wrong to want that out in the open? We sang so perfectly together, it's like we do everything perfectly together. He really had become my best friend, and I don't know how to make it better right now. Blaine looked over and saw Kurt raise a hand to his cheek, as if wiping away a stray tear, and he couldn't just sit there and do nothing.
Blaine slipped over across the aisle and gave Kurt a playful bump on the shoulder "Excuse me sir, but is this seat taken?"
Kurt sniffed once quietly and replied "Not sure, I was kinda saving it for someone, but since it looks like he wanted to be alone, I guess you can have it."
Sitting quietly in the dark they turned so they were sitting sidewise on the seat facing each other and their hands found each other as if on autopilot. "I'm..." Kurt began "Sorry" finished Blaine with a sigh.
They couldn't help but let out small chuckles as they both said the exact same words at the same time.
"What do you have to be sorry for Kurt?" Blaine asked "I should be the one apologizing"
"I screwed it all up for all of us" Kurt said, dropping his eyes to their clasped hands. "I just feel like I let everyone down. You were fantastic, everyone was, and then I had to go and mess it all up. I really wanted to win."
"Sweetie," Blaine said bringing one of Kurts hands slowly to his lips, not knowing if the gesture was appropriate or not. In the few days since their first kiss, everything had centered on Regionals, and the duet, and group practices, and they really hadn't had time to spend alone, just to figure them out. "You did fantastic. Wes and David said that everyone loved the duet, and your voice. You have nothing to be sorry about. You are wonderful, gorgeous and talented, and us not winning was not your fault. Please don't cry Kurt, it hurts too much to see you cry." He slowly reached out to wipe away the tears sliding down Kurt's cheek with a thumb and gently dup his cheek in the palm of his hand.
Kurt leaned into the touch, moving just slightly enough that Blaine's fingertips slid gently across his face. "I feel like I let you down Blaine. I worry that everything I do is a let down for you. Cheeseus, you are talented, sexy, strong and wonderful, and here I am this little kid that can't keep up with the big boys. We lost Blaine, and the guys are going to hate me because of it."
"Ok Kurt, we are going to settle one thing first. We never even made it past Sectionals last year. I know that the guys don't blame either one of us for this. New Directions went somewhere no Show Choir has gone before, and that was original music. I don't care how much you pour yourself into a song, it isn't the same if it is someone else's words and feelings. We couldn't compete with that." Grabbing his cell phone he raised his voice and asked loudly "OK guys cell phone's up if you are pissed we lost." in the dim light of the bus, every boy raised their cell phone in the air, the little squares of light casting a glow over their faces. "Now keep them up if you think it is because our performance sucked, we sucked or our song choices sucked" Slowly the lights all went out. "Thanks, I just needed to clear that up for my duet partner back here."
Kurt heard David and Wes's voices float back from the front of the bus. "You guys did great, we did great." "I am not ashamed of our performance, we rocked it and I couldn't feel better about how everyone did"
"See." Blaine replied laying a feather light kiss on Kurt's forehead "One thing settled. Second thing. You could never let me down Kurt, unless you turned to me right now and told me that that trophy was more important to you than us. I spent too many months not letting myself see how important you really were to me, too many months seeing the boy that I thought was fragile, that needed someone to take care of him, and not seeing you. You stood beside me when anyone else would have given up and run the other direction. You had the guts to stand up and tell me I was being a damn diva, and from you that says something. You had the guts, long before I did to lay everything on the line, get your heart trampled, and then keep coming back for more. I don't think I would have been strong enough to do that." he gently placed both hands on Kurt's shoulders and drew him closer "Do you have any idea how scared I was to say those things to you, to tell you how I felt, knowing you probably had decided I wasn't worth it? Scared that I had pushed you away a bit too far? When you stood up to me after Misery, I thought I had lost you right there. And it scared the hell out of me. But then I realized watching you sing Blackbird, and hearing you cut me down, yet again, on the Blaine and the Pips, that you were stronger than I was. That it was what I loved about you. And that screwing it up was worth it."
Kurt looked up at him, almost shyly from under his lashes and said "I was beginning to think there wasn't anything to screw up, at least like that. I knew from the moment you took my hand on that staircase that you were going to be important to me, I just didn't realize how much. And then it seemed like there was no hope of being anything other than the annoying little brother. And that hurt. And then you gave me hope at Valentine's day, just a little, but enough to hang onto. And then Rachel, and the damn Animal performance. I felt like I was 12 again, unsure and scared, like it was all in my head. I gave up Blaine. I honestly didn't think there as anything to even try and hold onto." he finished as fresh tears began to run down his cheek.
"Kurt" Blaine began, pulling him into a tight embrace and kissing his chestnut hair while a hand ran slow circles on his back "I'm sorry. It just took me longer, and I think seeing in your eyes that you had given up was what made me see that I couldn't. I never thought that I would find you. That I would find someone who would let me protect them, but would also protect me. Someone who would call me out on my flaws and stand up to me. I don't ever want to lose you Kurt, not when it took me so long to find you."
Kurt leaned his face upwards towards Blaines and wrapped on hand in his curly hair, pulling him down until their lips met. Blaine couldn't help but gasp, this was the first time that Kurt actually kissed him. The kiss was slow, and deep and full of longing and neither boy wanted to let go. "So let me ask you a question Mr. Blaine Anderson. What is this?" Kurt aked placing a hand first on Blaine's chest and then his own. "I mean are we friends with benefits? A couple? What? I mean Lord knows the New Directions seem to have the couple of the week down, and it seems like it is never the same twice. What are we?" Blaine could hear the concern in Kurt's voice.
Blaine sat silently for a moment before answering, never taking his eyes away from the bright ones in front of him. "What we are Kurt is US, two people who actually had the luck to find each other, become best friends and then more. You are the guy I adore, who I want by my side, in plain view of everyone. You are the boyfriend I want to snuggle with in the back seat of a bus, at breadsticks, everywhere. I am yours, for as long as you'll have me."
Kurt snuggled back into the curve of his shoulder, hips and knees touching, gently holding Blaine's free hand in his own " I like the sound of that Blaine. To quote one of my favorite movies and sound extremely cheesy 'As You Wish'" Blaine smiled as he pulled Kurt to his feet, slid behind him with his back to the bus window and pulled Kurt down between his legs snuggled up on his chest. I can really get used to this.