Hello, haven't written much in a while. This is my first attempt at a song-fic, so here we go.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

I am sitting on the floor of my bedroom, consumed by the memories of the one man I let go. Everything revolves around my head, from the memory of the first time I met Joseph to lockdown and most prominently, the moment he had left. I want, so desperately, to pick up the phone and dial his number; I can't battle against it anymore. But I am dreadfully scared that he has forgotten me in the year and eight months he had been gone. God, he hadn't even been that long. He crosses my mind daily, sometimes it stupid, tiny reasons that set off memories. Memories that lurk at the back of my subconscious, because if I did forget that would mean finally and most definitely letting go of the only man I loved, will ever love. Most of my co-workers don't, didn't, even know him, everyone who did is gone, save the few exception; Michael, Elliot, Ric, Hanssen and Ollie. And out of that only Elliot really knew him well.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

It's 1.15 now, there's no one left. I need him, I said, promised, that I would not call him but I'm so scared. I can't do it without him; I want him to be here so much. He's probably got a wife and maybe Harry has a brother or sister? I wonder if he still looks like Churchill?

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.

I pick the bottle up and take another swig, in my haze I'm reminded of the night me and Joe got so drunk and ending up sleeping together. I sigh and glance towards the door, wishing so much that he'd walk in laughing, telling me he loved me and that he was back to stay. I close my eyes, the throbbing in my head is getting slowly worse, and again am reminded of that night. Finally I have the courage to dial the number, I lift the phone up to my ear, I cannot wait to hear his voice. "This is Joseph Byrne. I'm sorry but I can't get to phone at the moment, feel free to leave a message." Then I heard the long high pitched beep. It was his voice, his voice. Finally I feel the first tear fall, it is soon joined by other until the is a torrent of tears running down my cheeks. "Joseph," I sob " I'm so sorry," I cry "I so scared," I whimper "I Need you now,"

Thanks for reading. Charliex